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Woman Calls Out SIL For Buying The Same Shampoo, Threatens To Cut Off Her And Her Husband

by Annie Nguyen
January 7, 2026
in Social Issues

Family dynamics can get complicated fast, especially when personal boundaries are quietly ignored again and again. What starts as something minor can slowly build into a situation that feels unsettling, even invasive, leaving one person questioning whether they are overreacting or simply the only one paying attention.

In this story, the original poster describes years of uncomfortable behavior from her sister in law, who seems to mirror nearly every aspect of her life, from appearance to daily habits. What really pushed things over the edge was a seemingly harmless household item that sparked a very public confrontation during a family dinner.

Accusations were made, emotions exploded, and now the internet is weighing in on whether the reaction was justified or completely out of line. Keep reading to see how far this situation actually goes.

A woman snaps at dinner after discovering her sister-in-law copies her entire life

Woman Calls Out SIL For Buying The Same Shampoo, Threatens To Cut Off Her And Her Husband
not the actual photo

'AITA for telling my SIL to not buy the same shampoo as me and causing a scene at dinner?'

My (32f) SIL (29f) is obssesed with me. I swear to god.

We’ve known each other for 7 years when I started dating her brother and from the start I got weird vibes from her.

She asks me where I got a certain piece of clothes or jewelry then buys the exact same ones.

If I dye my hair, she dyes her hair THE SAME colour. If I post on Instagram about a certain restaurant,

she will go there the next day or the same week.

I got a new hair stylist and tagged her (quick edit, I meant I tagged the stylist NOT my sil) on Instagram,

a few months later I visit her again she thanks me for sending her a new client (guess who that was).

I posted a photo of my room a month ago, the next time I visit her place she had the SAME SHEETS.

She says she had them for ages and it’s a coincidence. These kind of things happen all the time.

Sometimes I’ll run into her at the grocery store and she’ll ask what I’m picking up and if I tell her she says

“oh how funny me too!” And buy THE EXACT same thing as me.

I’ve had people tell me they say her and thought she was me because we stress so similar and have the same hair.

I wish I didn’t have to see her but the kicker is our husbands are best friends/business partners,

and they live 2 blocks away from us.

I’ve brought this up to my husband since the start and we’ve both talked to her and she either denies

and says it’s all coincidence or she just says she thinks I have such good taste that she can’t help it

but promises she’ll stop and never does

My husband realizes it’s frustrating but he ultimately says it’s harmless

and she’s his sister so he can’t just cut her off for copying me.

The other day she asked me what shampoo I use and I refused to tell her

because I knew she was just going to buy it, but she started crying and my husband just told me

it’s not a big deal so I told her after she assured me that she wasn’t going to buy it

she was just curious because my hair is always so nice.

Yesterday we went over to their place for dinner and I used the washroom and decided to check my suspicions

so I looked in the tub and saw she had bought the same shampoo!!!!

I was so frustrated that I brought it to the bottle to table and in front of our husbands told her

that she is Not Allowed to buy the same shampoo as me and that this s__t has got to stop or else

i will cut her and her husband off regardless of what my husband says and i will never see them again!

Obviously my husband said I embarrassed him and she started crying and we left.

I may have over reacted but this situation is making me crazy!!

My friends who know about this said i overreacted but it’s understandable

because of the position im in constantly.

My husband wants me to apologize to her but I do not want to!

ETA I forgot to mention something important. I have her blocked on Instagram and my account is private

but I know she has a secret account to follow me because sometimes she will mention things I’ve posted

(like I went to the beach and didn’t tell her the next time we hung out she asked

if I had a nice time at the beach, I asked my husband if he told her he denies telling her) etc.

In family dynamics, boundaries are crucial for maintaining personal autonomy and ensuring that everyone feels respected.

For OP, the situation with her sister-in-law (SIL) has escalated to the point where she feels her identity is being overshadowed by SIL’s constant imitation of her choices. While it might seem trivial to others, this continuous mirroring, whether it’s clothing, hair color, or even shampoo, can feel invasive and disempowering.

The emotional core of this story is rooted in OP’s frustration at feeling controlled or overshadowed by someone who refuses to respect personal space. When SIL’s actions go unchecked, it challenges OP’s autonomy, making her feel as though she is losing her own sense of identity.

At its core, this situation reflects a deeper issue of enmeshment, a psychological term describing relationships where personal boundaries are blurred.

As Psychology Today explains, enmeshment occurs when the boundaries between individuals become unclear, causing people to overstep personal limits without realizing it.

SIL’s persistent copying of OP’s actions, from hair color to shampoo, demonstrates a lack of awareness of where one person’s identity ends and the other’s begins. It’s easy for OP to feel like she’s losing her individuality, especially when SIL’s actions make it seem like OP’s choices are up for grabs.

The emotional toll of being copied constantly is often underestimated. When someone cannot differentiate their own preferences from another’s, it can feel as though they are being disrespected, as if their personal space and choices are not valued.

This lack of respect for boundaries can create resentment, frustration, and emotional exhaustion, as OP clearly demonstrates in her reaction. While some might view SIL’s actions as harmless admiration, OP’s feelings of invasion are legitimate and should be acknowledged.

Psychology Today further emphasizes how blurred boundaries can lead to emotional strain, especially when individuals fail to recognize the need for personal space and self-expression.

From a relationship perspective, emotional validation is key. OP’s husband, while sympathetic, hasn’t fully recognized the depth of OP’s frustration.

As Dr. Laura Berman explains, emotional validation, when one partner acknowledges the feelings of the other without dismissing them, helps foster connection and trust.

In OP’s case, her husband’s refusal to support her emotionally leaves OP feeling isolated and unable to assert her boundaries effectively. His dismissal of the situation as “harmless” only intensifies OP’s sense of disconnection.

If OP’s feelings were validated, it would not only help her feel heard but also create a path for healthier communication within the family. (Marriage.com)

Ultimately, while OP’s reaction at the dinner table may have been intense, it was the culmination of a series of small but significant boundary violations. OP was pushed to the brink, and her decision to express her frustration, although harsh, was her attempt to regain control and assert her right to be treated as an individual.

Moving forward, OP may need to have a direct conversation with both her SIL and her husband about setting clear boundaries and respecting personal space. Boundaries in relationships aren’t about control—they are about respect.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

These Redditors agreed the SIL’s copying is obsessive, unsafe, and crosses serious boundaries

7xbt78gg − NTA. Tell her you're in therapy, hopefully she copies you and gets some real help.

SlammyWhammies − I think you need to bring up with your husband that this isn't simply a copy cat issue,

because it's not. It's a boundary issue. It's an obsession issue. It is a stalking issue.

You're setting boundaries, aka, "stop copying everything you see on social media and in person about me"

and she is in this case PROMISING not to do what you have asked her not to, and then doing it anyway.

Blocking her is also a boundary, one she is breaking by creating new accounts to follow you

(how are people not seeing the MASSIVE red flag there? ).

You are correct, she seems utterly and entirely obsessed with you.

I think people who have not been copied to this level don't quite understand.

It's not that they're "taking your ideas" or just "like your taste".

It isn't any ONE instance. It's like a faucet. One or two drips is fine, normal even, but when it becomes constant,

you realize it is a leak. It begins to feel almost like this person is stalking you. Because they are.

This is viscerally uncomfortable, and it seems to be difficult to grasp in this scenario for people

who have not been the object of someone's obsession. SIL is making it clear that no action can escape her notice.

But because SIL is copying instead of "simply observing",

it's hard to see the unsettlingly invasive forest through the "crying copy cat" trees of our childhood.

Her behavior seems almost compulsory to her, and I've already typed this word a lot but I'll do it again:

OBSESSIVE. I'll ask this, if a man you'd never met engaged in this much stalking, obsessing

and mimicking of your life and routine, how would your husband feel about that?

Would he still dismiss the actions as "harmless"?

Would he demand you apologize to this stranger for confronting them?

Hell, even if a woman you didn't know did this, would he be ok with it?

The answer to those questions should not change just because the behavior is being done by his sister.

It's not healthy. It's not normal. It's not SAFE.

It's an i__asion and frankly my sense of safety would feel shaken by this level of mimicking. NTA.

ETA: a lot of the people in this very sub are still missing the severity of these actions

and treating this like a case of school kids crying copy cat,

or getting stuck on the shampoo, or crying "do this crazy thing and see if she copies you".

As someone who has been stalked multiple times, this post is COVERED in classic behaviors of stalking.

It was genuinely unsettling to read, and has been for many other victims of stalking who replied here.

This is not SAFE behavior to be around. It is not at all uncommon for them to cry out they

"just like these things too" or "have similar taste", it's their excuse to others and themselves for their behavior.

I, frankly, don't care if the shampoo thing was over the top or not.

SIL is crossing boundaries in ways that tend to escalate, and something needs to be done

before this ends up on a true crime podcast. ETA2: Thank you everyone for the awards and input.

I just want to add one more thing to OP if she's reading this still: PLEASE do not listen to the advice of

"just do something crazy and see if she copies you lol".

They are also completely missing the seriousness of this. You need to go NC. Your SIL is stalking you.

This isn't a game of "how can I get her to stop copying me haha so funny" this is a matter of your emotional

and physical safety. Going NC is the ONLY way forward.

Whether you choose to look into filing a police record is your business,

but keeping contact cannot and will not ever result in this going away.

And to be clear your husband has to be on board with this.

Going NC doesn't mean jack-all-s__t if hubby is letting her know what salon you're going to now on the side,

or letting her into your home to snoop. Take him to couples therapy, make him ready my post, anything.

I know reconciling how he sees his sister with the fact she is also actively stalking you will be difficult,

but he has to or nothing will change. If your husband cannot grasp this is a matter of your safety

and take your side, his ass can go too. Edited for clarity now that I'm off mobile.

cris_marny − NTA I do NOT see this copying as benign. It is a form of harassment.

It means you are being observed and studied all the time.

It has a gaslighting aspect as well because on the surface it appears benign and flattering, but you know it is not.

You can't make any choices without them being deliberately copied. It inhibits yoir self expression.

It is stressful and crazy making. I am sorry that this is happening to you.

Perhaps a therapist can help you find healthy ways to

(1) cope with the problem including how you choose to address it and

(2) help you find the words to adequately express the harm this does to you

so that you can communicate it with your husband and others in your support network.

This group backed OP and said the shampoo blowup was the final straw, not the real issue

Scotsgit73 − NTA. She starts crying because you won't tell her what brand of shampoo you use?

She is someone you need to get away from, she sounds like she's obsessed with your life to an unhealthy degree.

Suggest to your husband that you'd like to be excluded from future events where he and his friend meet up.

If that doesn't work, just drop all contact with her, this doesn't sound like a story that ends well.

MycroftHolmes1953 − Despite what others are saying here, you are NTA. This woman is obsessed/stalking you,

almost trying to steal your identity to the point that friends think she is you.

The shampoo thing seems OTP, but it was just the final straw.

I'd go no contact with her and ignore her in public, no matter what your unsupportive husband thinks.

Proud_Drawing5898 − NTA everyone voting Y T A is not considering the fact that

the shampoo was just the straw that broke the camels back. I’m sure if she was a regular person

and not a stalker you wouldn’t mind her using the same shampoo as you.

Also, based on what you have said it doesn’t even sound like she wanted the name of shampoo

because of hair benefits she just wanted to have the same shampoo.

You sure there isn’t something deeper going on?

Like did her husband let it slip that he likes you or has she see a therapist ? This sounds like a bad horror film !

These commenters urged OP to involve her husband, family, or therapy to stop the escalation

[Reddit User] − Not the a__hole. But I think you’re focusing on the wrong thing.

I think you need to have an intervention with your husband.

Either with a therapist or someone that can help facilitate the discussion and help you prove your points.

This woman is disturbed and in a weird scary way and unless the people around you acknowledge

that you continue to feel out of balance and crazy. And people might actually start labeling you that way.

Good luck I hope it gets better.

rhaina1961 − NTA Sit your husband down and make him watch the movie "Single White Female"

and point out how much his sister is like the bat crap crazy chick in the movie every time she copies you.

Bring the rest of her relatives into the loop (FIL and MIL) and explain that it's why you won't be around as much.

Maybe they can say something to get her into therapy. Speaking one on one with her husband might help too.

If all else fails,I suggest posting some pics of you with the ugliest cut/color wig and let her go to town with it.

Maybe it will shock her out of it.

Lovemyblklab − Imagine having children. Will SIL want to get pregnant just because OP did.

Then if the children happen to be the same s__.

OPs would be older so SIL would then copy everything OP does with her child.

Clothes, schools, sports, how much pressure would be on SILs kid and how much competition would there be?

To me that would be a very good reason to stop this NOW. OP is not wrong to be concerned about this.

It is dangerous and SIL needs therapy to understand why she is acting this way.

If I was OPs husband I would be telling my sister to back off

and get their parents involved to help SIL see she has a problem.

Edit Thank you for the award!

These users suggested baiting, misdirection, or social media changes to expose the copying

Traveling-Techie − NTA - get a temporary tattoo and tell her it’s permanent

RoyallyOakie − You should have told her Nair.

cassowary32 − NTA. Might be time to do a social media fast or scrub your followers.

Or be completely milquetoast for a month. Just wear all black and keep things very bland.

What she's doing is really creepy and wierd.

Why would you want to be the duplicate of the person your brother is sleeping with? ?

This group shared perspective or concern, validating OP’s distress and others’ reactions

Bubbly_Satisfaction2 − NTA. But I am biased because I had gone through the same thing,

when I was younger (from 16 to 26).

It was a former friend-of-a-friend-turned-BFF.

Like you, I felt like I was going crazy because I believed I was the only one seeing it.

It was until a relative (a cousin, who lived in a different state, but was visiting) pointed it out.

She was the one, who came up with the way I got rid of her.

My cousin is a tattoo artist, so she told me to get a fake tattoo and pretend it was real.

Then post a picture of my "fresh, new ink" on my social media.

Her friends suggested what kind of tattoo (the Adinkra symbol) and the location

(on the top of my left foot, because "it is one of the most painful spots to get tattooed on," according to one friend).

Another friend of my cousin allowed us to use his tattoo shop to take the pictures (for the social media posts).

To make it more believeable, the top of my foot was smacked a couple of times, in order to reddened the skin.

Hours later, my "fresh, new tattoo" was revealed on my Instagram.

A whole four weeks later, guess who had a new tattoo on her foot.

About a week later, I wore sandals to an outing with friends.

The temporary tat was gone by then.

Guess who looked like she had shitted a brick after I told her about the fake tattoo?

I received a long text thread from the unhinged nut, several hours later.

To be a huge b__ch, I ended up forwarding the text thread to another BFF,

who was very shocked. "Single, White Female" ended up ghosting us all afterwards.

Yikes44 − I can see why your husband and BIL thought this was OTT as it's just a shampoo and who cares.

But to you this was the last straw and noone has been listening to you, so you're NTA.

Everyone has their breaking point and this was yours.

But next time tell your SIL something different so she buys the wrong thing, or don't post about it on SM.

oh_em-gee − How does her husband not feel weird about his sister copying his wife?

At its heart, this story is about boundaries, not shampoo brands. While some see harmless mimicry, others recognize cumulative stress, loss of autonomy, and the emotional toll of living under a metaphorical spotlight. Was her outburst dramatic?

Perhaps. But when polite requests go unheard for years, frustration is bound to spill over. Do you think the OP’s dinner confrontation was justified in light of her long-standing frustrations? Or did she overplay her hand? Share your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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