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Woman Accused Of Fat-Shaming After Suggesting Friend Use A Mobility Scooter During Mall Trips

by Marry Anna
January 7, 2026
in Social Issues

Group outings are supposed to be fun, but for one friend, her weight struggles have started to create tension among the group.

After repeatedly having to stop during shopping trips because she gets tired, the friend was confronted with the suggestion to use a mobility scooter to avoid holding up the group.

Instead of appreciating the suggestion, the friend took offense, accusing her friends of fat-shaming her.

Woman Accused Of Fat-Shaming After Suggesting Friend Use A Mobility Scooter During Mall Trips
Not the actual photo

'AITA for telling my friend she either uses the mobility scooter at the mall or stays home?'

A little context, said a friend, weighs 350 pounds. The only reason I know this is because we did that BMI thing on TikTok.

Anyway, whenever we go to the mall. she’ll continuously make us stop because she’s out of breath and needs to sit.

It’s really annoying because it takes up the time we have to shop.

Not only does she make us sit, but whines about how tired she is while we’re walking.

It’s gotten to the point that my group of friends and I have been debating whether or not we should even invite her at all.

So I was like, you know what would fix this? Why doesn’t she just use those mobility scooters?

First, she wouldn’t be as tired and out of breath, and second, it would fix are time issue.

So my friends and I FaceTimed her and basically told her about our idea and asked if she was down with it.

She almost busted a tit over this and went on to ask us if we were saying this to call her fat.

I said no, and that we were asking because we can’t deal with her constantly having to stop.

Basically how I didn’t get why she was so offended when we were just trying to help.

She called us awful people and started saying how she couldn’t control it because of her weight, and we just needed to deal with it.

I went on to say she was being selfish and asked how it was fair to us we waste all of our time because she makes bad food choices.

An said it was either she used the scooter or she could stay home. She went on to cuss me out and hung up.

All my friends think I was being nicer than they would’ve been, and they’re completely on my side.

My mom thinks I was a little harsh, but she said she would’ve probably also done the same thing.

It got me thinking if I was the actual a__hole here. So AITA?

The OP’s situation reveals how misunderstandings around weight and mobility can quickly escalate into conflict, especially when the language used feels accusatory rather than supportive.

While the OP was frustrated by the frequent pauses during mall outings, the way the suggestion for a mobility scooter was communicated intersects with something social scientists call weight stigma, negative attitudes, stereotypes, and discriminatory behavior based on body size or weight.

Weight stigma isn’t just a theoretical concept; a large body of research shows that people classified as overweight or obese are often stereotyped as lazy, lacking willpower, or personally responsible for their size, which contributes to widespread prejudice and emotional harm.

On a societal level, such stigmatizing attitudes are documented not only among laypeople but even in healthcare and professional settings, and these impressions can adversely affect psychological well‑being and social interactions.

According to the American Psychological Association, weight stigma, sometimes called sizeism, leads to psychological distress, lower self‑esteem, anxiety, and depressive symptoms among those subjected to it.

This distress is not necessarily tied directly to physical health, but rather to the experience of being judged or stereotyped because of body size.

Importantly, stigma can become internalized over time, meaning that people begin to interpret neutral or even well‑meaning comments about their body or capacity as personal criticism or rejection.

Because of this, seemingly helpful suggestions, like using a mobility scooter, can be interpreted as judgments about character, effort, or self‑control, especially if they are framed bluntly or with an expectation attached.

Social stigma research highlights that people with higher body weight often experience negative attitudes in personal and social contexts, including from friends and family, which can lead to avoidance, withdrawal, or conflict in social situations.

This understanding is important here: when the OP and the friend’s group presented the scooter idea as an ultimatum (“use it or stay home”), it may have activated feelings of being judged for body size or physical ability, even if no such judgment was intended.

Rather than focusing on shared enjoyment and inclusion, the message may have been received as a critique of her body or effort, triggering emotional distress and defensiveness.

Weight stigma research suggests that open, supportive dialogue about physical comfort and accessibility, rather than asserting obligations or ultimatums, fosters better outcomes in friendships and group activities.

For example, the OP might start by validating her friend’s feelings (“I know walking long distances can be exhausting”) and discussing shared goals for outings (“We all want to enjoy the mall together comfortably”).

From there, bringing up practical solutions, like taking regular breaks, identifying seating areas, or suggesting a mobility scooter as one option among others, framed as a way to include her in the group rather than a corrective measure, could reduce defensiveness and encourage collaboration.

A conversation that centers on comfort and inclusion is more likely to be productive and preserve the friendship than one that feels like a demand or a critique.

Ultimately, the goal is to balance the OP’s desire to enjoy shared activities with a sensitive, empathetic approach that acknowledges the emotional impact of body‑related stigma and communicates support rather than judgment.

Here are the comments of Reddit users:

These users supported OP’s frustration with their friend’s pace and constant complaints.

KarlZone87 − NTA. I generally hate shopping to the point that I will often run from shop to shop.

If someone was slowing me down, I would either leave them behind or they would have to find a way to catch up. You are far nicer than I.

Boring_Inanna − NTA. 350 pounds or 175kg is morbidly obese, and that is obvious to everyone.

You haven't highlighted anything or called her anything. (Maybe you challenged her denial).

The physical condition comes with massive limitations and physical stress.

It's her life and her body, and she can do what she wants with it. But equally, this applies to you guys as well.

If you don't want to shop like that, she has to accept that.

But she will probably feel left out, and you can plan another group activity with her.

Maybe with movement that is easier for her, like in the water.

Because if that's her current cardiopulmonary fitness level, she's going to have big problems in the future, regardless of the kilos.

ultimateunbannable − NTA. She may be okay with being a burden to herself and destroying her body, but it's not okay that she burdens you as well.

This group empathized with the friend, particularly acknowledging the struggle with weight and the stigma surrounding mobility aids.

PenelopeDreddfull − NTA. I used to be 342 lb, and it sucked.

I couldn't walk far without puffing like a bellows, my feet and lower back hurt all the time, and existence was misery.

I had started to fall down the body positivity-to-fat acceptance pipeline.

I've since gotten my act together and am down 70 lb. But at my heaviest, I definitely would've needed to hear this.

Maybe not in the exact phrasing you used, but sometimes you gotta be told when you're wrong.

However, isolation is going to k__l her, so you've got to keep getting her out of the house no matter what.

Edit to clarify: from personal experience, isolation only makes things much worse and will be detrimental

to your friend in the long run, but OP, you shouldn't be expected to be a full-time caregiver.

Thanks to the folks who pointed out the flaws in this statement.

Weight is, unfortunately, a very sensitive issue because of the stigma surrounding it.

Let her cool off, then maybe apologize if you've come off as insulting and have a heart-to-heart about her health. Some of us need a little tough love.

[Reddit User] − A few years ago, I had tickets to an outdoor event that would involve a lot of standing and walking.

I have a back issue and knew I was not going to be able to last very long at the event, so I made the decision to rent a scooter...

I felt humiliated and cried over it.

But then I realized that I was not the main character in strangers’ lives, so they didn’t care.

I was the only one who cared. I think your friend feels humiliated, and I get that.

But besides the resting time, the problem is her constant complaints all day long. No one wants to spend the day with a complainer.

Instead of dropping her from the shopping trips, you guys tried to propose a solution so that you could continue to hang out.

She accused you of fat-shaming her, which is really unfair. I’m going to say NTA, but I hope you can talk to her again and work things out.

buttpickles99 − NTA. I get where you are coming from. It does sound annoying to have to wait for her and hear her constant bitching.

If I were you, I might tell her instead that we won’t slow down for her. How she handles that is her concern.

If she needs to stop and sit for a while, she will be doing that solo and will have to catch up and find us after, or get a scooter...

These users advised that OP should have communicated the issue more privately and respectfully.

Physical_Ad5135 − Go with her without the scooter, but when she needs to stop, don’t wait with her.

Tell her you will be back for her. Do make sure she knows the plan up front. Walking in the mall is good exercise for your friend.

MissPeskyFace − You aren’t the a__hole for asking, but when she said no, you needed to probably put a boundary out there for future planning.

“Hey, I only have x amount of time to get my shopping done.

I would love to have you there, but your frequent need for breaks makes it so I can’t accomplish my goal.

Here are my suggestions: - Use the mobility scooter.

- Wait at a cafe for me to finish shopping, and I can meet you when I’m done.

- Not coming on shopping trips anymore. I love to hang out, but understand if you aren’t comfortable with the scooter. I care about you and value our time together.”

Hope this works out for you, OP.

Adventurous_Baby_111 − I may be going against the grain here, but gentle YTA, just for the way you went about this.

FaceTimeing her with an audience is humiliating and could have been done better with just a one-on-one phone call.

Also, bringing up her food choices is not cool; weight is far more complicated than just what you eat,

and involves factors like metabolism, chronic disorders, mental health, etc.

She may also have disordered eating, which, as commented on, is obviously hurtful and unnecessary.

Lastly, her using a scooter is probably both embarrassing for her, AND not good for her health.

If the goal is to gain endurance (so she doesn't need to stop so often), then she absolutely should keep walking.

There was some good advice in other comments, like when she gets out of breath and sits down,

you can say, "Hey, we are just going to check out this nearby store, just join us when you are ready".

I don't blame you for being frustrated, and I do agree that there isn't exactly an easy solution here,

but it seems like your methods were embarrassing her rather than helping her, even if that was not the intention.

These commenters brought up the long-term health implications of using a scooter instead of walking.

eefraoula − I might be alone on this one, but I kinda think you may be TA at least a little bit, though you may have come off nicer than...

Your friend clearly struggles with the idea of using a visible mobility aid in public, and for you to suggest that probably puts her in an uncomfortable position, which is...

You meant well, and it sounded like a great solution, but understand that she's probably not going to take it that way.

My mom will use a scooter sometimes because she's gained weight while dealing with some pretty debilitating illnesses, and it can be hard for her to move.

It wasn't easy for her to give in and use the scooter for the first time.

It was embarrassing for her either way; either she felt like a burden, losing her breath and stopping because of

her pain, and then either asking everyone to slow down or go on without her, or she was embarrassed to have to use a scooter.

Your friend probably just feels extra embarrassed to have to confront the way her physical condition is impacting others.

Bringing up her food choices is also unkind. Yes, she makes her own choices, but you never know what kinda struggles people have with food.

Not all eating disorders involve restricting food. What if your friend had a binge disorder or some other medical condition?

Just consider the fact that her food choices didn't really need to be brought up at all.

I think it just makes the most sense to communicate in the moment when she wants to stop, that you and

your friends will shop around a bit more, and then meet back up with her.

If she is upset by this, then emphasize that you only have so much time to shop, and while you've all respected

her pace and need for breaks in the past, it's a matter of fairness for her to respect how you want to spend your time, too.

I think communication is at fault here. Your friend is not going to snap her fingers and increase

her health overnight, so be compassionate to her in the moment and try to have a respectful conversation.

You can't control how she reacts, and you can't control what choices she makes about food or fitness,

but you can control your choice of words and how you communicate.

wuukiee81 − Here's the one thing you likely don't know since you are able-bodied: your suggestion

won't actually fix the problem, through no fault of your own.

Public use mobility scooters available in malls, grocery stores, hardware stores, etc, are TERRIBLE.

They are incredibly slow, difficult to maneuver, run out of charge with no warning, and are just miserable pieces of cheap and poorly maintained equipment.

If she were willing to try one, y'all would probably find it actually slows the group down and makes you all crankier and more frustrated.

I suffer from chronic pain and arthritis in both knees, so I walk with a cane most days and occasionally have to use a public scooter.

And, I will avoid using a scooter at all costs if I can possibly help it, even if it raises my pain levels.

I only use them when I'm having so much trouble walking that I'm a fall risk. They are universally so slow and so frustrating and broken.

When I'm using one, I can't keep up with my partner, who is used to walking slowly with me at my cane pace. The cart is slower than that.

They turn awfully even in big stores with wide aisles, and I have never gone to the grocery without hitting shelving or someone else's cart by accident.

They legally have to have a certain number for the store, and they take that minimum seriously.

They are intentionally set to be slow and with a poor battery, so kids and teenagers can't race them.

They almost always only keep two, so if they're in use or being charged, you're SOL.

There are a couple of manufacturers that do almost all the retail carts, and they are all awful.

I have rented a medical-grade cart for vacations once or twice from a medical supplies company, and they're fantastic.

They're the same several-thousand-dollar kind that an individual whose insurance will pay for a cart can end up with.

Personal and paid rental carts are generally quick and nimble. Public retail carts are anything but.

I don't at all think you were wrong for making the suggestion. But I don't want you to get your hopes up that it will actually help if she agrees.

It's probably worth dropping because of how ineffective it will be, even if she said yes.

If you push it, she tries it, and it's a worse experience for everyone, that will cause even more bad and, hurt feelings, and frustration

[Reddit User] − NAH. But your friend needs to get professional help to lose weight.

175kg is morbidly obese, and being out of breath constantly is a big red flag that her body is not doing well.

These users agreed that OP’s frustration was understandable, but they felt that the suggestion wasn’t well thought out.

Regular-Seaweed4246 − Going against the grain (and I know people say that all the time when

they're posting something that is in total agreement with the overwhelming majority position,

but hey, this one is actually in disagreement with the vast majority of judgments), but ESH.

She shouldn't be burdening everyone with her whining (which, unlike the need to rest, she could

actually control) and shouldn't have exploded at you, but you were attempting to take away what

sounds like the only form of exercise that a morbidly obese person is getting.

That is unfathomably bad advice, akin to telling an a__oholic in recovery that they should go back to

drinking because you enjoy their company more when they drink. What do you think that using mobility

scooters instead of walking is going to do for both her obesity and her ability to walk in the long term?

Beneficial-Year-one − ESH. Instead of face-timing her with your friends, you should have brought this up

when you were alone with her and in person. I’m sure she was mortified the way that went down.

She should have at least considered the idea, but I doubt if she was in the mood to be reasonable with a virtual audience.

idontcare8587 − NTA. You made a pretty reasonable suggestion. Her reaction is just her own insecurity. I'd be annoyed by this stuff too.

This situation raises important questions about empathy, boundaries, and how to approach sensitive topics like weight and health.

While it’s understandable that the OP and their friends were frustrated with the constant interruptions, the approach could have been more compassionate.

Was the OP wrong to take such a direct approach, or was it justified by the frustration they were feeling? How would you have handled this situation? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 2/3 votes | 67%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/3 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/3 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 1/3 votes | 33%

Marry Anna

Marry Anna

Hello, lovely readers! I’m Marry Anna, a writer at Dailyhighlight.com. As a woman over 30, I bring my curiosity and a background in Creative Writing to every piece I create. My mission is to spark joy and thought through stories, whether I’m covering quirky food trends, diving into self-care routines, or unpacking the beauty of human connections. From articles on sustainable living to heartfelt takes on modern relationships, I love adding a warm, relatable voice to my work. Outside of writing, I’m probably hunting for vintage treasures, enjoying a glass of red wine, or hiking with my dog under the open sky.

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