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Mom Chooses Between Loyal Daughter And Furious Extended Family Over Secret Relationship

by Jeffrey Stone
January 11, 2026
in Social Issues

A devoted mother’s unbreakable tie to her twenty-year-old daughter cracked under pressure when the young woman opened up about her open-hearted dating preferences and soon brought home a girlfriend. Private snapshots leaked into the family chat, sparking harsh criticism from deeply religious relatives who branded the romance unacceptable and demanded the relationship end or face total disconnection.

The mother stood firm, refusing to push her daughter toward heartbreak, which triggered icy silence from most kin and sharp accusations that she selfishly chased her own views. Today the daughter mourns the sudden distance from childhood companions and relatives, while her mother wrestles with deep regret amid the painful divide.

A mother supports her daughter’s romantic relationship, facing family cutoff and guilt over the resulting estrangement.

Mom Chooses Between Loyal Daughter And Furious Extended Family Over Secret Relationship
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for being the reason my family won’t talk to my daughter?'

I (40F) am extremely close to my daughter, Kylie (20F). About a year ago, we were talking about our family

and she told me that she didn’t label her sexuality (she said “I like who I like and I don’t feel the need to label myself”),

but that she wouldn’t bring a woman around our family since they are devout Christians

(our family is extremely close, we spend a lot of casual time together as well as Thanksgiving, Christmas,

and a get together with all of our extended family in the summer).

I told her that, although I don’t completely understand why she doesn’t want to label herself, that I will support her no matter who she dates.

Now, a year after that interaction, Kylie has a girlfriend. I was excited for her

and said that her and her girlfriend, Samantha, were always welcome in my home.

Kylie posted pictures of her and Samantha on her private Instagram story. Apparently Kylie’s cousin, Daliah, is also on that private Instagram

and showed her mother (my sister), Natalia. Natalia sent the pictures to a family group chat

and sent a paragraph about how Kylie was being un-Christian by dating a woman.

My mother and 2/3 of my other siblings agreed with Natalia and expressed that they were scared of their children (all are 16-25 in age) talking to Kylie

because they don’t want Kylie to indoctrinate them. Natalia asked me to talk to Kylie and say that,

if she doesn’t break up with Samantha, they will no longer speak to her and forbid her cousins from talking to her.

I immediately said I wouldn’t be doing that; I love my daughter and don’t care who she dates

as long as they make her happy and are kind to her. No one responded to my text.

My brother, Chad, texted me privately and said that I was selfish and an AH for putting my agenda before Kylie’s relationship with her family.

He said that, if I truly cared about Kylie, I’d tell her to put her family above her romantic relationships.

I do feel guilty that Kylie now has 0 contact with her family that she loves so much,

but I know she’s happy with Samantha and I don’t want her to feel like she can’t love who she wants to love. AITA?

EDIT: I would like to answer a couple questions in hopes of providing a little more clarity.

1. What “agenda” am I supposedly pushing? I didn’t ask, but I’d assume it has something to do with my lack of religious beliefs and/or my political affiliation.

2. Why am I feeling guilty? I know the influence my opinion has on my daughter.

Being as close as we are, Kylie has admitted to asking my opinion on a lot of things and having them be big factors in her decision-making process.

So, if I told her that she should always prioritize her family, I know she’d at least think extremely deeply about it, and potentially do something that she regrets.

I was feeling guilty because I know that, if I did tell her that her family trumps her romantic interests,

that there would be a big possibility that we wouldn’t be in this situation and she wouldn’t be as stressed/sad as she is right now.

I just want my daughter to be happy and seeing her in her current state is heartbreaking.

3. Would our family accept her if she restricted herself to only dating men? Yes. They believe that you can have “sinful thoughts”,

but as long as you don’t act on them, you didn’t sin. If Kylie were to break up with Samantha and date/marry a man, they would accept her.

4. Does my daughter know? I told her about the group chat messages, she doesn’t want to read them which is OK.

Kylie is a very forgiving person and will give most people the benefit of the doubt (which I both admire her for and am very wary about),

so she’s not mad at Daliah because (to paraphrase her) she’s only 16 and has taken on her parents’ beliefs without doing any research of her own.

5. Do we currently have any contact with our family? Some, yes, but only the ones who have reached out to Kylie in support.

My eldest sister and her husband, my father (Kylie’s grandfather), and 3 of her cousins that are currently not living with their parents.

6. Not exactly answering a question, but providing more insight on our family dynamic. We all live in the same exact city.

Kylie and her siblings grew up going to school with her cousins. Chad was the coach of her softball team and Natalia was the coach of her soccer team.

She even wanted Chad to walk her down the aisle at her wedding because he was like a father figure to her after her biological father passed away.

It’s easy to be close to your family when they’re all a 2-5 minute drive away from you.

This Redditor’s dilemma highlights a classic tension: one parent’s fierce protection of her child’s joy versus a larger family’s demand for conformity rooted in faith.

The core issue boils down to conditional versus unconditional acceptance. The relatives believe “sinful thoughts” are forgivable if not acted upon, so they’d welcome Kylie back if she dated only men. They fear her influence on younger cousins, framing it as potential “indoctrination” – a common but misguided worry, as attraction isn’t contagious.

From their side, it’s about preserving values and protecting the next generation. Yet, the mom’s refusal to intervene stems from knowing her daughter’s deep trust in her advice, pushing for a breakup could lead to regret and resentment.

This isn’t just a personal spat, it’s part of a broader pattern in family dynamics where religious beliefs clash with LGBTQ+ identities. Research from The Trevor Project shows that family rejection dramatically increases risks for LGBTQ+ youth and young adults, with those facing high parental rejection being six times more likely to experience high levels of depression compared to those with supportive families.

On the flip side, “those LGBTQ youth who do perceive strong support from their families tend to have better mental health and lower risk of substance abuse.” Roberto L. Abreu, an expert on Latinx LGBTQ family relationships, states, “We know that acceptance by parents and caregivers is crucial to short- and long-term mental health outcomes for LGBTQ youth.”

During the COVID-19 period, Kristyn A. Gattamorta and team found that increased family rejection made LGBTQ young adults more than twice as likely to report moderate to severe psychological distress, emphasizing that “these results demonstrate the importance of public health, medical, mental health, and higher education stakeholders understanding the significance of LGBTQ-identity related family rejection when addressing the mental health and well-being of LGBTQ young people.”

Neutral ground here? Open, calm conversations can help bridge gaps, perhaps sharing resources from organizations like PFLAG (Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) that guide families through acceptance.

The mom isn’t forcing change, she’s simply refusing to demand her daughter suppress who she loves. That’s not an agenda, it’s parenting at its core.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some people strongly affirm that the OP is NTA and emphasize that the family’s intolerance is responsible for ruining relationships.

[Reddit User] − Your family has torpedoed their relationship with your daughter, not you.

Their homophobia has ruined their relationship, not you. Their bigoted tiny brains ruined their f__king relationship, not you.

You are not responsible for any of it. If they loved your daughter they wouldn't care who she loved.

And being gay isn't transmissible, for f__k sakes. Indoctrination?

HexaDecimal23 − You're not the reason your family cut her off, their intolerance is.

Choosing to stand by your daughter isn’t selfish its the most selfless thing u could do.

Better she has one parent who loves her unconditionally than a whole family who only loves her with conditions.

Apprehensive_War9612 − There’s no love like that Christian love. They are so Christ-like

they will ostracize and shun a family member for being happy with who she loves and chastise your for not demanding she conform to what they want.

Do you really think you’re the reason she is being shunned, because you refuse to berate your child and tell her to conform? Honestly?

Or do you need to wake up to how hateful and ridiculous they are? NTA

xnoradrenaline − Definitely NTAH. Your family is being the AH.

Some people praise the OP for standing up for and unconditionally supporting her daughter.

SchramWife − NTA you stood up for your daughter. They are AH for their views

chicken_nugget_1143 − Absolutely not. Please stick up for your daughter

RangerNo2713 − You’re not the AH. This is such a heartbreaking situation,

but you’re doing what a parent should by loving and supporting your daughter for who she is.

It’s not your responsibility to force her into a choice that would make her miserable just to keep other people comfortable.

She’ll always remember that you stood by her when it mattered most, and that kind of support will mean more than anything.

Just keep talking to your daughter and help her understand. Good luck

Some people share personal experiences as parents of LGBTQ+ children, validating the pain of family rejection while firmly choosing to prioritize and support their own child.

Certain_Story_173 − Okay. I will preface this by saying my daughter is a Lesbian.

Why am I telling you? Because when our kids come out, WE come out with them.

I told a coworker, and she said, "You're handling this so much better than I would."

I was stunned. WTF does that mean??? When we have family members who believe there is something wrong with our "out" children,

it's so easy to be blindsided, because no one explores how the FAMILY of an "out" adult-child comes "out", too.

And for those of us (me, too) with family members who don't love and accept our children the way we do, it is extremely painful.

Their lack of acceptance tears the family apart--and from their perspective, OUR acceptance tears the family apart.

I wish I had an easy answer or a validating response for you, but the truth is, I was for forced to choose between my daughter and the disapproval of...

And my daughter wins, hands down. Period. Her dad and I want her to find happiness with whatever partner she chooses, and they will be welcome in our home.

Everyone else can get stuffed. You will probably have to choose, too. You will not be TA for choosing your daughter--because she. is. your. child.

But I am sorry for the pain this causes. Sometimes the personal becomes political. We have to decide where we stand. Best wishes.

Some people defend the OP by reframing family bonds, rejecting the idea that blood ties justify conditional love, and celebrating unconditional support.

Entire_Cycle_8394 − WTF? Your agenda? To support your daughter? Isn’t that every parent’s agenda?

The1Rememberer − Well, for one, I don’t see how you are the reason. You’re not even how they found out.

And if there’s anything that I’ve learned in life it’s that blood is thicker than water.

In the actual ORIGINAL saying “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”,

meaning that the bonds we form in life are far more important than the family we were born with. At least in my opinion.

And no you are NTA. If anything you are the angel for supporting your daughter despite the rest of your family pressuring you.

Good on you man. This is how you get to stay in each others lives for good.

This story leaves a bittersweet aftertaste. Families built on proximity and tradition can fracture when values collide, yet one steadfast parent’s love offers a lifeline.

Do you think the mom’s refusal to pressure her daughter was the right call despite the pain, or should family ties sometimes take priority? How would you handle being caught between a child’s happiness and relatives’ disapproval? Drop your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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