A devoted expectant mother invested everything in a shared future with her boyfriend, yet he skipped every ultrasound, refused parental leave, and concealed the pregnancy as if it were a disgrace. Nearing delivery, she resolved to exclude him completely from their child’s life unless he committed to steady involvement and proper financial support.
His sporadic efforts crumbled amid failed therapy sessions and outrageous demands, ultimately vanishing for good. She now cherishes raising their healthy baby independently, with professional insight revealing deep emotional deficits and immaturity that confirmed her decision to move forward alone.
A single mother finds peace after cutting ties with an unreliable partner who refused responsibility for their child.
The core issue here boils down to one parent’s total disengagement: skipping appointments, refusing to tell work about the baby, and treating involvement like a casual vibe check rather than a lifelong commitment.
The mother carried everything while he offered vague visits “to see if I like the vibe.” Her instinct to bar him from the child’s life stems from deep protectiveness. She doesn’t want a “revolving door daddy” who dips in and out, creating instability.
Reddit users split on this, with many calling it NTA if it’s about shielding the child from flaky behavior. Others warn that unilaterally cutting off access could backfire legally or emotionally, as fathers generally retain rights to seek visitation regardless of support payment status, as courts treat child support and access as separate issues.
One commenter noted his extreme statement about rather ending his life than taking responsibility, urging legal protection. Another shared personal experience as a child of a flaky dad, suggesting it’s kinder to let the kid decide later rather than block the chance entirely.
This situation spotlights broader family dynamics: the toll of inconsistent parental involvement. Research consistently shows father absence links to challenges like poorer academic performance, higher risks of behavioral issues, depression, especially in females during adolescence, and even increased infant mortality risks in some studies.
For instance, children in father-absent homes face greater odds of poverty, delinquency, and mental health struggles. While complete absence has documented downsides, many experts and parents argue inconsistent presence can cause more harm through repeated disappointment and attachment confusion. Parental inconsistency during conflict or daily life correlates with conduct problems in kids, as it erodes stability and trust.
The mother’s relief after his exit aligns with protecting her child from that unpredictability. Her therapist and the couples counselor highlighted a “big lack of empathy and maturity,” echoing traits sometimes seen in borderline personality disorder, where emotional regulation falters and interpersonal functioning suffers despite potential for intense but fluctuating empathy.
Neutral advice? Secure a formal custody agreement through legal channels to define support, visitation, and boundaries. Courts prioritize the child’s best interests, often favoring consistency over zero contact unless clear risk exists.
Therapy for co-parenting can help, and building a support network with other male role models fills gaps without forcing unreliable involvement.
Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:
Some people say NTA because the father is unreliable and the child is better off without a flaky dad who causes anxiety and instability.
Some people advise getting legal custody and support agreements in place to protect the child and handle any future involvement properly.
Some people suggest involving his family or giving him a chance to step up, as people can change and the child might benefit later.
Some people warn that denying access while demanding support could make the mother the AH legally, as the father has rights to visitation.
![[Reddit User] − You don’t get to demand financial support and then deny him access. He will have a legal right to visitation and likely partial custody.](https://dailyhighlight.com/wp-content/uploads/2026/01/wp-editor-1768271740708-1.webp "Pregnant Woman Prepares To Raise Her Baby Alone After Her Partner Tries To Their Child's Existence")
After reading all the comment, OP posts one herself.
Do you think barring access was the right call to avoid instability, or should she have kept the door cracked for the child’s sake? How would you balance financial responsibility with emotional presence in a similar spot? Drop your thoughts!
