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Woman Changes Her Name From Qur’stylle To Chrystal, Now Her Parents Are Threatening To Cut Her Off

by Leona Pham
January 14, 2026
in Social Issues

There are times when a name feels like a gift, and there are times when it feels like a constant struggle. For this Redditor, her parents’ choice left her constantly explaining, correcting, and enduring endless mispronunciations.

After years of frustration, she decided to legally change her name to something more familiar and less awkward. Her decision, however, didn’t sit well with her mom, who called it a betrayal and threatened to sever ties over it.

Now, she’s questioning whether standing up for her comfort was the right thing to do or if she’s been selfish in her pursuit of peace. Scroll down to find out how this name change sparked a major family dispute and if she’s in the wrong for making it happen.

A woman changes her name to escape the frustration of a unique, hard-to-pronounce name, causing conflict with her parents

Woman Changes Her Name From Qur'stylle To Chrystal, Now Her Parents Are Threatening To Cut Her Off
not the actual photo

'AITA for changing my name? My parents named me Qur'stylle (Chrystal)?'

So my a__hole scumbag parents named me Qur'stylle and my whole life I have gotten s__t like

"are you muslim" "what language is your name originated from?" "What country are you from"

and people butchering its pronunciation, for obvious reasons.

I have always told people to just spell it as Chrystal and my parents (mainly mom) would take huge offense to it

and would email my teachers every year to make sure they pronounce my name correctly.

My mom even grounded me once because I told people to just make save my name as Chrystal in their contacts.

Now that I'm a legal adult i got my named changed to Chrystal so now I don't have to deal with this fuckign b__lshit for the rest of my life.

Having this b__lshit spelling and having to correct everyone everyday was annoying

as hell and everyone before they met me would always think I'm some spoiled brat b__ch when that isn't true at all.

Your name affects how people see you, much of it is subconscious, and having these b__lshit spellings is not good.

My mom lost her s__t and started crying and threatened to cut me off for doing this. She said I betrayed her and our family by doing this.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the right but I need a sanity check here.

I told my mom to go f__k herself and f__k her for causing me all these problems in my life and not supporting me

and taking my complaints into considerations over my own f**king name. My mom is a c*nt and my dad is a spineless c__ard.

From the moment we learn our name, it becomes part of how others see us and how we see ourselves. When every introduction starts with hesitation, confusion, or judgment, it chips away at confidence.

For many people, the simplest act of telling someone their name should feel grounding. Instead, it becomes a repeated moment of disconnect, one that shapes social experiences, emotional energy, and how the world perceives you.

In this story, the OP isn’t simply upset about a spelling. They are reacting to years of having their identity misunderstood, questioned, and reshaped by others.

They lived a life where teachers, classmates, and strangers mispronounced their name, asked intrusive questions about culture or religion, and made assumptions before knowing the person behind the letters. The emotional impact of those interactions goes beyond annoyance. It paints a picture of someone constantly on guard, feeling unseen and misrepresented.

When OP’s parents refused to validate the daily stress this caused, it reinforced a deeper frustration. OP wasn’t rejecting their family so much as reclaiming a sense of self that had been buried under a name that felt like a source of conflict instead of affirmation.

Most people don’t realize how much a name can shape social expectations and self-image. According to Psychology Today, names are a core part of identity and how others interpret who we are.

A name becomes an outward signal of belonging, cultural background, and personal story, but it can also invite assumptions or stereotypes that aren’t ours to carry. Changing a name is more than cosmetic; it’s an expression of self-determination and authenticity.

The psychology of self-concept also helps explain OP’s experience. Verywell Mind explains that self-concept, the image we hold about who we are, is shaped by interactions and evolves over time. When there’s a mismatch between how we see ourselves and how others see us, it can create stress and emotional tension.

This perspective clarifies why OP’s decision resonates on a deeper level. They weren’t making a capricious choice or acting out of spite. They were aligning their external identity with their internal one.

Identity is not static. It grows, shifts, and adapts with lived experience and personal reflection. This is especially true when a name, instead of feeling empowering, becomes a daily point of distress.

Changing one’s name can be an act of emotional liberation and boundary-setting. It doesn’t negate the value of family choices, but it honors the individual’s right to define themselves in a way that fosters confidence, reduces social friction, and supports psychological well-being.

Even when such decisions upset loved ones, they can still be rooted in self-care and authenticity. That nuance, rather than blame, deserves space in any discussion about identity, respect, and personal autonomy.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

These commenters support the decision to change the name, emphasizing personal autonomy and the need to distance from toxic family dynamics

TolkienandTrees − NTA. It's your name and your right to change it if you wish.

Honestly, if I may say so, it may be best to take a step back from your family.

It sounds like they're causing you a lot of unnecessary anger, and you seem very hostile towards them.

Cut as much negativity and toxicity out of your life as you can.

JeremyMcCracken − NTA I notice this: would email my teachers every year to make sure they pronounce my name correctly.

Your mom thinks you're her possession to show off.

She picked that name for the same reason people get their sportscars in bright red: "Look at this awesome thing I own!!"

Not only are you in the right for wanting a normal name, it's good of you to get out from under your mom's influence.

Beret_of_Poodle − NTA. "Betrayed" her and your family? That's a stretch. And THAT'S an understatement.

She gets to pick your name when you're a kid. You're an adult now, and you are allowed to dislike what she picked and change it.

She's allowed to be hurt by that. She is not allowed to threaten you for making adult decisions.

EDIT: I honestly don't understand why I see so many posts like this where families want to cut people off for absolutely ridiculous s__t.

Are there that many insane people in the world? How do you explain to your other family/friends/social circle why you don't see your kid anymore?

"She changed her name. She's dead to me now"?? Doesn't anyone tell them how completely bonkers that is?

This group acknowledges the emotional impact of unusual names and parental control

likaachikaa − she was threatening to cut you off for changing your first name as a legal adult? Wow.

But the “go f__k yourself” was a little harsh, though also justified. NTA

Darkbomber04 − “Your name affects how people see you, much of it is subconscious.” You’re absolutely right about that.

I, personally, hate when parents give their kids names that are hard to pronounce or names that the kid’s going to get made fun of for.

Naming a child shouldn’t be about the parents, it should be about how it will affect the kid as they grow up.

I hate my name and have always gone by my nickname, which is just my name but shortened by a letter.

My dad wanted to name me Mario and I’m so glad that my mom put her foot down

and made him compromise with a name that is somewhat Italian and English.

It’s not like the name they chose was good either because I got made fun of for it in elementary and high school when teachers leaked my name.

cisero − Good candidate for a crosspost to r/raisedbynarcissists. I was given an unusual middle name (mother’s vanity)

and I changed it when I turned 18. Couldn’t even stand it in the middle and that’s where weird names belong! NTA

These Redditors express confusion and amusement over the unusual name spelling

CardiacSchmardiac − NTA. If it was a culturally or religiously important name with roots in the family

then maybe that would be on the spectrum of betrayal but this is just basic n__cissism.

Just read the definition below of n__cissism and see how much of this you think fits your mom’s feelings about YOUR name. “

...excessive need for admiration, disregard for others' feelings, an inability to handle any criticism, and a sense of entitlement.”

Plus you’re an adult. Unusual names can hinder or block legitimate employment, higher education, granting of loans etc.

AnUnpopularReality − Lol you had to throw that extra “h” in there, huh?

NomadicusRex − NTA but why did you spell your name wrong when you changed it? Did you want to be called CHrystal? Or Crystal?

This group focuses on the spelling choice, either questioning or joking about the “Chrystal” version, while still supporting the change overall

animalcrackwhores − Why did you spell it Chrystal and not Crystal?

SourNotesRockHardAbs − INFO: was the inclusion of the "H" on purpose? My mind keeps reading it as Chrysler instead of Crystal.

For the record, I still think that spelling is more clear than the original spelling.

[Reddit User] − Ok um. I think there’s a lot more going on here than the name

anxiousjellybean − NTA that doesn't even sound real what the f__k

abadfoodfriend − Nta. But the spelling you updated it to is still not the correct spelling for that pronunciation.

tiacalypso − NTA. In my current country - Germany - Qur‘stylle would be rejected as a baby name by the authorities.

Your parents should have chosen a better name. Welcome to the world, 18-year-old Chrystal!

When it comes to name changes, the decision is often about much more than just a preference for a different sound. It can be tied to identity, self-esteem, and personal history.

While the woman’s mother certainly had strong emotional ties to the name, ultimately, it’s the woman’s right to choose a name that makes her feel more comfortable and confident. The tension between honoring her mother’s wishes and prioritizing her own well-being is real, but at the end of the day, it’s her life and her name.

Do you think the woman was justified in changing her name, or did she go too far in upsetting her family? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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