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Man Walks Away From Crying Fiancée Suffering From “The Tism” During Target Shopping

by Jeffrey Stone
April 10, 2026
in Social Issues

A man’s routine shopping trip with his fiancée took a sudden turn when she dropped to the floor in the aisle, covered her ears, and burst into tears. The 32-year-old described five calm years with Katie, 30, until she started adopting hand-flapping, claiming meltdowns, demanding sensory breaks, and going temporarily nonverbal, behaviors he had never witnessed before.

He finished the shopping alone, convinced the outburst stemmed from attention-seeking rather than genuine struggle, and left her upset and silent for hours.

A Redditor questions leaving his crying fiancé in Target after suspecting TikTok-inspired autistic behaviors.

Man Walks Away From Crying Fiancée Suffering From "The Tism" During Target Shopping
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for leaving my “autistic” fiancée in Target?'

Harsh title, but hear me out.

I, (32M) have a fiancé , Katie. (30F) Katie spends a lot of time online, consuming a lot of short form content.

Over the last year or so, Katie has been watching a lot of autistic creators on TikTok and has been talking about them non-stop.

She began making jokes/passing comments about her acting autistic, blaming things on “the tism’” which I mostly ignored.

Then, she brought up seriously to me that she was sure she was autistic and wanted to begin a path to get professionally diagnosed.

She explained that these creators had helped her to see her “many symptoms” that she had missed during her life so far.

I tried to be supportive, but told her that diagnosis is an expensive and lengthy process, and that she shouldn’t waste time on something just because she saw it online.

(I was diagnosed with ADHD as a teenager before college, so I know what it can be like.)

Over the last few months, Katie has been acting way more autistic in ways I have NEVER seen her act.

She walks around the house and flaps her hands, she claims to have “meltdowns”,

she claims to need “sensory breaks” when I need her to do something such as walk the dogs or do the dishes.

One of the most questionable and crazy changes she has made is that she says she feels like she goes “temporarily nonverbal “ when she gets overwhelmed.

This entails her not speaking to me with words sometimes in situations anyone should be able to handle, a problem which I repeat she has NEVER HAD BEFORE.

Here’s where I might be the AH: Katie and I took a trip to target to grab a few things and do weekly shopping.

After we were there for a little, Katie stopped speaking to me and was covering her ears and actually started CRYING.

She has never done this as long as we have been together, 5 years. She sat on the ground and closed her eyes, and I honestly had no sympathy.

I told her that I was done with her random decision to act autistic for attention just

because of people she had seen online and finished the grocery shopping by myself, walking away from her.

When I was done, she was already in the car and wouldn’t speak to me.

This was about 8 hours ago, and Katie hasn’t come out of her room, won’t respond to my texts.

I think that she is acting like a baby because of a skewed perception that the internet has given her of a disability that she doesn’t have,

and even that it’s mocking people who actually struggle with disabilities. I get that she was obviously going through something,

but I was honestly convinced she was doing it for attention or some other issue

due to the fact that she’s never expressed these feelings or behaviors until she came across these pages. AITAH?

The fiancé’s rapid adoption of autistic-like traits sparked doubt in her partner, who has his own ADHD diagnosis and understands the realities of professional evaluation. He discouraged her from pursuing a formal diagnosis due to its time and expense, then reacted with frustration during the Target incident, seeing it as performative rather than genuine distress.

On one side, the partner views the changes as sudden and inconsistent with five years of shared life, suggesting possible influence from TikTok creators rather than lifelong traits. Many online commenters echoed this, pointing to a broader pattern where people emulate neurodivergent behaviors for a sense of identity or uniqueness, sometimes even triggering real symptoms through mimicry.

Others highlighted that women, in particular, often mask autistic traits for years due to social pressures, only unmasking later when the mental load becomes unsustainable, potentially explaining the timing after exposure to relatable content.

This situation taps into larger family and relationship dynamics around mental health self-exploration in the digital age. Autism diagnoses among adults have surged, with young adults aged 26-34 seeing a roughly 450% increase between 2011 and 2022, partly linked to greater awareness—including from social media.

Yet studies also flag concerns: analyses of popular TikTok autism videos show high rates of misleading or inaccurate information, with one review finding only about 27% of top content deemed accurate, and others noting 41% of autism-related videos containing unsupported claims.

Autistic masking carries real costs. As analysis Morgan Blair explains, “Chronic masking can lead to poor mental health, lower self-esteem, autistic burnout, and even suicidal thoughts.”

This resonates if Katie had been masking unknowingly. Unmasking, while healthier long-term, can feel abrupt and overwhelming to partners. Conversely, if social media amplified unrelated stress or attention needs, professional input becomes essential to distinguish possibilities like anxiety, identity exploration, or other overlapping conditions.

Neutral paths forward include encouraging a specialist evaluation by a psychologist focused on developmental issues, rather than dismissing or enabling without clarity. Diagnosis isn’t quick or cheap, but it provides grounded answers over online speculation.

Couples can discuss boundaries supportively: validating feelings while addressing practical impacts on shared responsibilities like household tasks or outings. Open dialogue, perhaps with a neutral therapist, helps navigate whether this strengthens or strains the relationship.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some people emphasize that the girlfriend should seek a professional diagnosis from a specialist instead of self-diagnosing, and that dissuading her from it was wrong.

13surgeries − Your girlfriend may not have autism, but something is sure going on with her if she has such a strong need for attention.

A lot of people are diagnosing themselves with ASD, but an ASD diagnosis is actually tricky

and is complicated by the fact there's overlap with symptoms of other conditions.

I'd encourage her to see a psychologist who specializes in developmental and behavioral issues. (A general therapist is not adequate.)

You were wrong to dissuade her from going. If, as you (and I) believe, she is NOT autistic,

she needs to hear it from a professional and get some guidance on what her real issues are.

Zidormi − Why are people glossing over that she wanted to get a professional diagnosis but OP dissuaded her?

She needs to talk to someone and OP actively discouraged her from doing so. Whether it's ASD or not, she still needs to talk to someone and sort it out...

Traditional-Yak8886 − if you don't think she's autistic, and you need proof to believe that she is,

then i don't really see why you would talk her out of trying to get diagnosed.

i'm sure there will be many people talking about tiktok making people think they're autistic,

but it is true that women go undiagnosed for years and that the behaviors that come with unmasking after that aren't always great.

still, it's widely regarded as common advice for autistic people to learn how to unmask

because the stress it causes in the long run ends up being more detrimental. what will you do if this is the case and katie is telling the truth?

i don't think it's necessarily wrong to say that you weren't equipped to deal with these things as a partner and that it's out of your wheelhouse,

and it's probably better for everyone involved if you think that these types of mannerisms are too much for you to bare.

my sister was diagnosed as autistic at a young age and since learning about unmasking and trying to engage in it more,

there's a lot of stuff that drives our older brother absolutely up the wall, and she's a diagnosed autistic.

he hates that she needs noise cancelling headphones sometimes, hates that she can't stand to go out,

hates that she wont put up with being shamed out of stimming, but from my perspective,

the main issue isn't that he can verifiably prove that these behaviors are bad in any way, it's just that he personally finds them embarrassing.

if my sibling was not forced into situations that were full of uncomfortable stimulus,

she would not feel the need to wear noise cancelling headphones or make a scene in public,

but these are things that autistic people do to calm down their nervous system.

for some autistic people, it might be entirely possible to accept the overstimulation and stress,

but to me it's kind of like asking a PTSD vet to sit through a fireworks show.

just because they agreed to put up with it before doesn't necessarily mean it's good for them.

tldr: if your partner is guessing correctly and there is in fact autism at play, it is entirely common for things to 'get worse before they get better'.

it would be up to you in this instance to figure out if you would be able to put up with having a partner going through this.

I would suggest that they try to go down the path of diagnosis or getting doctor's opinions,

but you should weigh your options before they get diagnosed and not just operate on the assumption that they're wrong.

Some argue that the girlfriend might be faking or exaggerating autism symptoms for attention, influenced by social media.

Objective-Review-359 − This is an actual phenomenon with young people.

Faking neurodivergent conditions because of tiktok and they want attention or to feel unique.

Kids are emulating Tourette’s so much they are triggering actual Tourette’s in themselves. It’s sad and pathetic.

Legitimate_Myth_3816 − I have ADHD and I only figured out I had ADHD because of tiktok when women started speaking about their symptoms that were missed

because it wasn't the running around crazy hyper presentation that we were led to believe was all there was to ADHD.

I recognized some of their experiences and symptoms in myself so I started seeing a therapist and got on the path to getting tested.

So I was prepared to be on your fiancé's side here. But I didn't change symptoms after watching tiktoks,

I simply got the tools to manage the things that had plagued me my whole life.

I actually cried when I realized I wasn't a narcissist who didn't care about people and their opinions or thoughts like I had secretly believed,

I just couldn't get my brain to focus while other people talked even when I wanted to listen.

So I got medication and learned how to manage it. If your fiance truly believes she has ASD she needs to get evaluated whether it's expensive or not if you...

because getting diagnosed and learning ways to help yourself function is life changing.

And maybe she's laying it on thick to try to guilt you about dissuading her when she brought it up (which would be immature)

but it really seems like she is picking the most extreme behaviors talked about on tiktok by these creators and adopting them for whatever reason.

Whether its for attention or if she's just desperate to have ASD to feel important or special, it's not okay.

Others suggest the girlfriend could be genuinely autistic but was previously masking her behaviors, and unmasking now may be healthier for her even if it appears more noticeable.

[Reddit User] − Over the last few months, Katie has been acting way more autistic in ways I have NEVER seen her act.

OK, this is a hard one. It's entirely possible (even likely) she's faking it for attention like you claim.

But it's ALSO entirely possible that she actually is autistic and just learned to suppress her behaviors in order to appear "normal".

The thing is, while an autistic person might appear to be perfectly capable of going through Target without having a meltdown or going nonverbal,

for them it comes only with an unimaginable amount of effort that takes a huge toll on their mental health.

And it's actually beneficial for that person to stop appearing so "normal" and start letting themselves "be autistic"

because it's better for their mental health in the long run. So many "outwardly normal" autistic people completely burn out in their thirties and forties

and end up on disability because they can't take it anymore. It could also be a bit of both.

She could be actually autistic AND exaggerating her symptoms for attention.

None of us can diagnose her based on just your post alone. Maybe she's faking, maybe she's not.

chronicducks − If you don't believe her self diagnosis then let her pursue a professional one,

because you aren't going to be doing you or her any favours by continuing like this.

Maybe she is autistic and seeing it more normalised on social media has helped her feel comfortable not putting all her energy into masking,

maybe she isn't and she's picking up on traits that appear in autism and other conditions which she could have instead such as ADHD and it's getting a little messy

Diagnosis isn't for everyone and it's not a fun process but it seems necessary here even if only to settle this for you so you can move on with your...

Some believe the OP was wrong to dissuade his girlfriend from seeking professional help.

Swimming_Director_50 − NTA. Katie sounds like she needs to see some kind of doctor.

I don't think she sounds neuro-divergent as much as she sounds addicted to SM and easily influenced, but let a doctor figure that out.

Meanwhile, you have your own life to live and I don't believe you are obligated to stick around for this.

At the very least, I think letting her know she needs to actively and immediately seek professional help would be a condition of staying.

Living_Plant3916 − Never dissuade people from seeking professional help. This is dismissive and unhelpful.

Truth is, neither of you are qualified to determine what's happening with her.

She could be autistic and previously masking or she could be having somatic symptoms due to her perception.

Either way, she needs professional intervention and support. I understand if you can't support her through this process

but what you're doing is also damaging to her and your relationship. Take this as you will.

Shulda-been-ab0rted − Not sure. But I want to share as an autistic person who masked to the extreme due to abuse

as a child I used to hide my unusual behaviors the best I could and bottle up EVERYTHING and push through until I spiraled out and self-harmed/attempted s__cide.

Now that I'm no contact with my family and have been in therapy more than half my life I don't hide as much.

That being said everyone not related to me and even some who are say the signs were always there even when I was living with the mask.

I also have met some people with BPD and when they find community or a sense of belonging

because they don't have a sense of self they emulate those who make them feel the most accepted around them.

Then their Munchausen syndrome which is why some people suddenly have things they didn't b4 to get attention.

All are real possibilities for your fiancé all need a specialist to diagnose and therapy is part of all three Dx treatments.

In the end, this story leaves us reflecting on how digital trends reshape personal identities and partnerships. Do you think the fiancé’s reaction overlooked possible genuine struggles, or was walking away a reasonable boundary when trust felt broken?

How would you handle sudden behavioral shifts in a long-term relationship, push for diagnosis, offer support, or reassess compatibility? Share your hot takes below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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