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Dad With Four Kids From Two Marriages Plans Equal Shares, Current SAHM Wife Disagrees Hard

by Jeffrey Stone
April 16, 2026
in Social Issues

A father divides his assets equally among his four children from two different marriages, insisting every son and daughter deserved the same portion no matter the mother.

His stay-at-home wife strongly objected, demanding their two shared kids receive a larger cut since his ex had built significant wealth and the older boys already appeared secure. She viewed the equal split as undervaluing her years of household labor and daily care while benefiting children she felt were already well provided for by their affluent mother.

A father wants equal inheritance for children from two marriages amid his current wife’s concerns over household roles.

Dad With Four Kids From Two Marriages Plans Equal Shares, Current SAHM Wife Disagrees Hard
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for leaving equal inheritance to kids from my wife and ex wife? My wife is a SAHM'

I’ve two boys with my ex wife and a boy and a girl with my wife, in that order. The boys primarily live with their mom.

I want all my assets to be divided equally among all four of my children. I feel a duty towards all of them equally.

However my wife feels our mutual kids should get more % because my exwife has done quite nicely for herself and the boys are set for life.

Me and my wife aren’t close to poor but definitely not at the level of my exwife who has always been really good with money.

Neither of us pays child support to the other because although they live with her most of the time she does make a lot more money.

I have always felt guilty that in effect she has contributed the most to bringing up the boys, both labor and money while I saw them a couple times a...

My wife is a SAHM and worked part time for a while when the kids were about 6-7 then decided she didn’t want to go to work anymore.

In essence all the cash of our household comes from me so you can tell we’re not exactly rich like the boys mom.

Except the house and the joint bank account for household expenses most of the money is under my name only.

I've arranged for my share to go evenly to four parties and my wife share to go to the mutual kids only.

I will not receive anything if she passes first and vice versa.

My wife thinks I am converting her household labor to cash and giving it to my exwife which makes no sense to me.

While I value her contributions to everything she did benefit from living without a job for so long and continues to do so.

I do not mind providing for her. So it felt unfair to say I was exploiting her.

And my exwife is mot receiving any money from me whatsoever only my sons are.

my wife thinks I shouldn't leave anything to the boys because they already received emotional heirlooms from my mother who sadly passed on before our kids were born.

They do not have too much monetary value because they shouldn’t be sold anyway.

extra info: essentially I don’t see why the my son+daughter should get extra. If I had sent child support to the boys mom I wouldn’t feel so bad.

My exwife did more for my kids with her than my wife did for our mutual kids because I was a very involved parent.

The OP aims to treat all his biological children equally, regardless of which mother they share, emphasizing his sense of duty to each one. His current wife, who has been a stay-at-home mom contributing through household labor and childcare, views the equal split as undervaluing her efforts and potentially shortchanging their kids in favor of children from a more affluent ex.

Opposing perspectives highlight real tensions in modern families. On one side, equal division upholds the principle that biological ties carry the same weight, avoiding any perception of favoritism that could breed resentment among siblings.

The other view stresses equity over strict equality, factoring in the ex-wife’s stronger finances, the stay-at-home contributions to the current household, and the need to protect a non-working spouse and younger children from immediate hardship.

Motivations here seem rooted in love mixed with practical worries: the husband carries guilt over limited involvement with his older sons earlier on, while the wife feels her daily role building their home life deserves recognition in long-term planning.

This situation mirrors a broader social issue in today’s world of multiple-partner fertility and remarriages. According to U.S. Census Bureau data, more than one in five opposite-sex couples living together in 2021 had at least one partner with children from multiple partners, with blended family dynamics becoming increasingly common.

Research also shows that unequal bequests are on the rise: the share of parents over 50 with wills who treat children unequally grew from about 16-27% in the mid-1990s to over 35% by the mid-2010s, often linked to stepchildren, weaker relationships, or differing financial needs in complex families.

Estate planning experts emphasize careful balancing in these scenarios. Attorney Jason Smolen, a principal at SmolenPlevy, has noted in discussions on blended family mistakes: “There’s no rule that says all children have to be treated equally.” He points out reasons parents deviate include special needs or concerns about assets being mismanaged, underscoring that intent and clear documentation matter to prevent disputes.

This advice feels relevant here. The Redditor’s plan prioritizes equality to honor all parent-child bonds, yet overlooks potential gaps in spousal protection that could leave the current wife and younger kids vulnerable if the house must be sold or if he passes first.

Neutral solutions often include tools like qualified terminable interest property trusts, which can provide income or support for a surviving spouse during their lifetime while directing remaining assets to specific children later.

Open conversations, updated life insurance, college funds, or separate provisions for the spouse can ease worries without pitting kids against each other.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some users strongly support NTA, emphasizing that all children must receive equal inheritance regardless of their mothers.

Aggressive-Scale1157 − NTA. Your children are all equally yours different mothers or not, so you're right to want to treat them equally.

EnvironmentalMud4870 − NTA You’re doing the right thing. They’re all your children. Treat them all equally

Midnightrambler28 − NTA they are all your children and it's the right thing to do. Good for you for taking a stand

SeaField7201 − NTA. This should not be negotiable. Tell your wife that each of your children will get equal amounts

and you will not understand any circumstances have it any other way at.

Tell her your ex wife’s is hers to do with as she pleases and she doesn’t have the right to devalue your children inheritance

because she feels she is entitled to say how your ex spends her money.

OP can you imagine how you children with your ex would feel if you died and they found out you willed them less than your children with your current wife.

I shutter to think of it. They would be so hurt and angry with you!

You say you are an involved parent; then, prove it. Take care of all your children equally and without prejudice. This is only right!

Many argue the current wife has no right to demand more for her children based on the ex-wife’s financial success and should accept the consequences of her SAHM choice.

AffectionateCable793 − So she wants to short change your other kids because your ex made good financial decisions?

If she wants her kids to be in equal footing with your other kids then maybe she should do what your ex wife did and provide for her family financially.

If she doesn’t want to work, then she should live with the consequences of her decision. NTA.

[Reddit User] − She decided to be a SAHM when the kids were 6 and 7?

But they are in school majority of the day and you said you are a present father... so what is she doing as a SAHM?

NTA. Just because your ex does well financially doesn’t mean you should treat your boys any less

Others agree on equal division among children but criticize OP for leaving nothing to the current wife or failing to plan for her and the younger kids’ security.

gnothro − NTA for the dividing things up equally thing, but I will point out you're kinda being an AH about wife #2 being a SAHM.

It's not an easy job and you're essentially only "paying" her room and board, since you're hoarding all the money that doesn't go to bills. Not cool.

Slight-Bar-534 − YTA for leaving your wife nothing. The house and bank accounts are in your name.

If your assets are evenly divided between the children, the house will probsbly be sold and money divided.

Where will your wife and two youngest live? Do you have college funds set aside? Life insurance for your wife to raise the children?

NTA for dividing money to all your kids. Doesn't matter if your ex makes a decent living.

HanSolosHammer − INFO: you're not leaving your wife anything in the event of your premature death? !

Ok_Examination3023 − Info: So you are not leaving any inheritance to your wife? Did I get that right?

Do you think the Redditor’s push for equal shares among all four kids strikes the right balance, or should family contributions and current finances tip the scales? How would you handle inheritance talks in a blended household with different parenting histories? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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