Imagine turning 18 and instead of cake, candles, and well-wishes, your family spends the day asking how your brother is doing, completely forgetting your milestone birthday. That’s exactly what one young woman described in her AITA post, where she admitted feeling like a “glass child” while her family poured all their attention into her older brother, who has terminal cancer.
Her parents watch movies with him, invite him on outings, and spend their emotional energy entirely on his needs. She, meanwhile, feels invisible. When she finally told her mom how hurt she was, the response was a gut punch: she was called “disgusting” and “jealous of her brother with cancer.”
The story set off a wave of empathy online. Want the full tea? Here’s how this heartbreaking family dynamic unfolded.
One teenager shared how being the healthy sibling of a terminally ill child left her feeling neglected and unseen
OP later edited the post:
Here is OP’s update:
This post shines a spotlight on an under-discussed phenomenon: “glass children.” The term refers to siblings of children with chronic or terminal illnesses who often feel invisible because all attention is given to the sick child.
According to a study published in the National Library of Medicine, siblings of ill children frequently report “feelings of neglect, isolation, and diminished parental attention,” which can have long-term emotional consequences.
The daughter in this story isn’t jealous of her brother’s illness, she’s grieving her parents’ absence. Dr. Wendy Plante, a clinical psychologist specializing in family systems, explains: “Siblings may experience guilt for feeling resentful, but their need for attention and validation is real and critical to their well-being.” In other words, it’s possible to be heartbroken about a sibling’s suffering and simultaneously hurt by being ignored.
Parental tunnel vision is understandable during a crisis. As grief researcher Dr. Pauline Boss notes, families in crisis often fall into “ambiguous loss”, they’re so focused on the child they may lose that they unintentionally “lose” connection with the child who is still healthy. But long-term, this leaves lasting scars.
The solution isn’t to shift love away from the sick child, it’s to expand the circle of care. Experts recommend:
- Setting aside intentional one-on-one time with siblings.
- Acknowledging milestones like birthdays, even in small ways.
- Encouraging siblings to join support groups (many children’s hospitals offer them).
If the parents in this story can validate their daughter’s feelings instead of shaming her, they can help her feel like part of the family again. And in a tragedy like this, emotional unity is what everyone needs most.
Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:
These users slammed her mom’s “disgusting” remark as toxic
Some shared personal stories of feeling sidelined during a family member’s cancer battle, validating her need to be seen
This group emphasized she’s not jealous but neglected, urging her family to acknowledge her pain
This person, a volunteer with medically vulnerable kids, praised her for speaking up, noting that sibling neglect is common but fixable
Two people both touched by cancer in their families, empathized with her hurt, warning that her parents’ neglect could cause lasting damage
This isn’t a story about jealousy. It’s about a young woman mourning the loss of her place in her family while also mourning her brother’s illness. Redditors made it clear: her feelings aren’t shameful, they’re human.
So what do you think? Should parents be held accountable for nurturing all their children, even during the most heartbreaking circumstances? Or is emotional tunnel vision simply unavoidable when a family is facing the loss of a child? Share your thoughts below.
