Ever met a parent who thinks their sleep schedule is more sacred than a newborn’s feeding time? One Redditor just stumbled into a parenting paradox that’s part comedy, part cautionary tale—and entirely exhausting. Her husband insists on a hard 11 PM bedtime, even when their infant is crying in the next room. Parenting? Apparently, it’s optional after a certain hour.
With her own work commitments running late into the night and a baby that refuses to cooperate with clocks, this new mom found herself juggling bottles and boundaries while dad clocked out like it was a 9-to-5. Want the details that lit up Reddit with righteous fury? Buckle up and read the full saga below.
It started with a new baby, a part-time work schedule, and one husband who declared himself “off-duty” past 11 PM…
Sleep is essential. So is sanity. But when you’re a parent, especially a new one, rigid schedules often become a fond memory. That’s why this Reddit saga hits such a nerve—it’s a classic case of conflicting expectations colliding with midnight feedings.
The husband, Brad, is neurodivergent, managing both autism and ADHD. His need for structure is valid. But even within the AuDHD community, there’s acknowledgment that parenting throws structure out the window. As one commenter—also living with AuDHD—put it: “I suck it up because the baby is not the best sleeper… I have to do it.” Compassion and compromise go hand in hand, especially in a shared-parenting scenario.
More concerning is Brad’s use of the term “boundary.” According to therapist and boundaries expert Nedra Glover Tawwab, a boundary is “a limit you set for yourself in relationships”—not a one-sided rule you impose on others. What Brad did wasn’t setting a boundary. It was issuing a decree—and expecting his wife to shoulder the consequences.
Parenting coach Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes in her book Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids that babies need consistent caregiving, especially at night, when emotional and physical needs are heightened. “When only one parent is expected to be responsive, resentment brews,” she notes. And guess what? That’s exactly what happened here.
Beyond the bedtime battle, there’s another layer: emotional withholding. Refusing a goodbye hug after a disagreement? That’s not about boundaries. That’s a manipulative tactic—what some mental health experts call “passive punishment.” According to Psychology Today, using affection as leverage can damage trust in relationships over time.
There is, thankfully, a silver lining. In the update, the couple agrees to communicate more clearly, seek counseling, and prioritize family time. It’s a reminder that parenthood is a learning curve for everyone—even when neurodivergence adds complexity. The real challenge isn’t avoiding conflict. It’s growing together, even when life throws sleepless nights, conflicting needs, and a crying baby at you all at once.
Reddit’s popping off, and it’s spicier than a nursery tantrum!
Many users said being a parent doesn’t come with a bedtime clause—and that Brad’s sleep “boundary” sounded more like an ultimatum.
Brad’s bedtime rule is nonsense—parenting’s 24/7, AuDHD or not. Counseling’s a must for him.
Parents can’t clock out at 11 p.m.—Brad’s sleep boundary isn’t realistic with a baby.
Brad’s being ridiculous—fatherhood means sharing nighttime duties, not sleeping through cries.
Brad’s “boundary” is neglect, not a real limit—parenting doesn’t stop at bedtime.
AuDHD isn’t a free pass—Brad’s weaponizing therapy talk to dodge baby duties.
Others with AuDHD shared their own parenting experiences, stressing that while challenges are real, responsibilities remain.
This Redditor is also an AuDHD dad. He shared that Brad’s gotta suck it up and parent, no excuses for dodging duty.
Some autistic men lean on diagnoses to shirk duties—Brad needs to step up.
Melodymaybe, also AuDHD, says routines are tough—but parenting means adjusting, not opting out.
OP later posted an update:
Her husband agreed to seek more support for his AuDHD and be more present with the family moving forward.
Parenting isn’t a scheduled shift—it’s a messy, sleepless, all-hands-on-deck commitment. This mom showed patience, love, and resilience. Her husband? He learned the hard way that “boundaries” don’t include ignoring a crying baby at 11:01 PM.
What do you think—was his bedtime boundary valid or totally out of touch with reality? Drop your thoughts in the comments. We’re betting this one sparks some midnight debates.
