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Mom Walks Out After MIL Secretly Feeds Her Baby and Says She Can’t Parent

by Daniel Garcia
January 8, 2026
in Social Issues

A family holiday visit turned into a nightmare in the span of one shower.

For many parents, visiting relatives with a newborn already comes with stress. Different routines, unsolicited advice, and the pressure to keep everyone happy can push even the calmest parent to the edge. In this case, a new mother thought she was navigating those challenges well, until she discovered something that felt like a deep betrayal.

Her mother-in-law had always been intensely focused on the new baby, sometimes to an uncomfortable degree. While that attention might seem flattering at first, it came with constant criticism, dismissive comments, and an unsettling sense of entitlement. The tension simmered quietly, building day by day.

Then, while the mother stepped away briefly, everything boiled over.

What the mother-in-law did next wasn’t an accident or a misunderstanding. It was deliberate, hidden, and followed by words that cut far deeper than the action itself. Within minutes, a family holiday ended abruptly, and a much larger conflict began.

Was walking out the right move, or did emotions take control?

Now, read the full story:

Mom Walks Out After MIL Secretly Feeds Her Baby and Says She Can’t Parent
Not the actual photo

'AITA for taking my baby and leaving after my MIL secretly fed him formula and said I did not know how to raise my son?'

I (29F) have two kids with my husband (31M): a 3-year-old daughter and a 3 month old son.

Our families live in a different country and we only get to see them once a year or so.

We’d been staying between my in-laws and parents houses for the holidays and this is the first time they meet our son.

Ever since my son was born, my MIL has been absolutely obsessed with him.

She wants pictures and videos of him everyday, calls him “my baby”, wants to know how every paediatrician visit went, etc.

This would have been fine except  she was always distant with my daughter and I had assumed she was getting older and probably had little patience for smaller babies/kids.

I exclusively breastfeed my son and she hates this.

She constantly makes remarks to my husband that the baby is never full or questioning why I keep holding him to sleep, saying I’m too attached.

During our stay with them, she always wanted to hold him, which is fine on its own but she has made irritating remarks like ‘oh, he still wants to eat?

He needs more than what you’re giving him’ if he starts crying after I’ve fed him.

Last night, I went take a shower and when I stepped out, I heard the baby screaming. When I walked into the kitchen I saw MIL trying to feed him...

We don’t have bottles! She bought one and had been keeping it in her house to feed him. When I said what the hell?

She just went you took so long in the shower and he was starving. I was so angry and told her she had no right to feed my baby without...

She went off on me telling me it is her right as his grandma and that I need to stop hogging the baby,

that I am jealous of her bond with him, and that she knows how to raise a son and I don’t.

I lost it. I took my son from her and went to my husband telling him I won’t spend another minute in her house.

My FIL came out and told me to calm down and stop overreacting, that I should be grateful MIL loves her grandson so much.

I told him it was the disrespect and disregard that I have issue with.

As we were leaving, she accused me of taking her grandson away from her like I took her son (my husband) away from her.

As soon as we left, she must have called up their relatives to complain about me

because my husband’s phone has been blowing up with calls and messages from family saying I was way out of line and I needed to apologize to my MIL for...

AITA for what I did?

Edit: Thank you all for your responses and validation. There are many comments so I won’t be able to respond to all, but to respond to the most recurring ones:.

1. No, we are not from South East Asia. We are white (Caucasian).

2. I had my husband read my post along with the comments.

Unfortunately, he is not taking it as seriously as I would like him to and while he recognises that his mom was incredibly inappropriate, he is not willing to cut...

He sees how his mom treats our daughter differently and he hates it, but that’s still jot enough for him to stop or minimise contact with his mom..

1. I will have to distance myself and the kids as best I can.

Edit 2: Totally forgot to mention - no, there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula. My first was combo fed.

The problem is that I did not give MIL consent to give my baby formula when breastfeeding is working just fine.

This story is unsettling because it crosses multiple boundaries at once.

The issue here is not formula. It is secrecy, control, and entitlement. Buying feeding supplies in advance and waiting for a private moment shows intent. That changes everything.

The comments about “hogging” the baby and replacing the mother’s role reveal a deeper issue than disagreement over feeding choices.

Walking out was not dramatic. It was protective.

This kind of behavior leaves many parents questioning their instincts, even when those instincts are clearly sound. The emotional weight of being undermined as a parent, especially in front of family, can be overwhelming.

This situation deserves careful unpacking.

This conflict highlights a common but serious issue in extended families.

According to pediatric care standards from the World Health Organization and the American Academy of Pediatrics, infant feeding decisions rest solely with the parents unless there is a medical emergency.

Introducing formula without consent can disrupt feeding routines, affect milk supply, and undermine parental authority.

More importantly, it breaks trust.

Family therapists often describe this pattern as emotional enmeshment.

When a grandparent refers to a grandchild as “my baby” and attempts to override parental decisions, it can signal unresolved attachment issues. The comment about “taking her son away” strongly suggests emotional displacement.

This behavior places the parent in a competitive role rather than a cooperative one.

Research published in the Journal of Family Psychology shows that perceived favoritism among siblings, even in early childhood, leads to long-term emotional harm.

The MIL’s fixation on the son and emotional distance from the daughter is not harmless. Children notice differential treatment far earlier than adults expect.

Experts agree that unresolved boundary violations often persist when the adult child of the problematic parent does not actively intervene.

Couples counselors frequently stress that parents must present a united front. Minimizing the issue or avoiding conflict allows harmful patterns to continue.

Parents facing similar situations should establish clear, written boundaries for childcare, feeding, and supervision.

Supervised visits may be necessary when trust breaks.

If a partner struggles to enforce boundaries, couples counseling can help realign priorities around the children’s well-being.

Protecting a child sometimes means upsetting adults. Leaving was not an overreaction. It was a response to a serious breach of trust and respect.

Check out how the community responded:

Many saw the behavior as dangerous and deliberate.

ApartmentMaterial950 - This was premeditated. She waited for you to leave.

1RainbowUnicorn - Buying formula and hiding it is unhinged behavior.

Mysterious_Light1231 - I would never trust her alone with a child again.

Others focused on the emotional red flags.

BobbyPinBabe - That comment about taking her son says everything.

Grant_Winner_Extra - She clearly thinks she has rights she does not have.

Careless-Image-885 - This is classic “boy mom” behavior.

Several pointed out the husband’s role.

SnooWords4839 - Your husband needs to shut this down now.

Witty-Stock-4913 - His family is now his responsibility to manage.

Regular_Giraffe_1879 - Boundaries only work if both parents enforce them.

This situation was never about feeding methods. It was about respect, consent, and control. Secretly overriding a parent’s decision is not love. It is entitlement. When that act comes with accusations and emotional manipulation, the risk escalates.

Leaving protected the baby and sent a clear message. That message matters, even if it made others uncomfortable.

Families often pressure parents to stay quiet for the sake of peace. But peace built on silence rarely lasts.

Do you think walking out was the right boundary? Or should family disagreements always be handled quietly?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Daniel Garcia

Daniel Garcia

Daniel is a contributing writer for DAILY HIGHLIGHT. Daniel is a New York-based author and has written for publications such as AUBTU Today, Digital Trends, Magazine, and many other media outlets.

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