Woman Refused To Dress As Princess Tiana In Her Friend’s Wedding, Gets Blamed For 'Ruining' The Bride’s Big Day
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Woman Refused To Dress As Princess Tiana In Her Friend’s Wedding, Gets Blamed For ‘Ruining’ The Bride’s Big Day

Annie Nguyen by Annie Nguyen
July 4, 2025
in Blog
Reading Time: 15 mins read
Woman Refused To Dress As Princess Tiana In Her Friend’s Wedding, Gets Blamed For 'Ruining' The Bride’s Big Day

What happens when childhood dreams crash into adult discomfort? That’s what one woman found out when her friend planned a full-blown Disney-themed wedding—and cast her bridesmaids as specific princesses. Cute in theory, right? Well, not so much when you’re a white woman asked to be Tiana, the only Black Disney princess, in a bridal party made up entirely of white women.

   
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When she pushed back and suggested alternatives, things got ugly fast. Now she’s out of the wedding party and wondering whether she made the right call—or just caused a fairytale-level fuss over a dress. Curious how a color-coded costume turned into a friendship dealbreaker? Here’s how it all unfolded.

Woman Refused To Dress As Princess Tiana In Her Friend’s Wedding, Gets Blamed For 'Ruining' The Bride’s Big Day

One woman’s refusal to play a Disney princess at her friend’s wedding led to a fairy-tale fallout with the bride-to-be

'Aita For Saying No To Dressing As A Disney Princess For A Wedding?'

So I (24F) am friends with Holly (28F) who is getting married next summer. Holly has always been a Disney girlie, and I wasn’t surprised when she told me and the other bridesmaids she wanted us to dress as Disney princesses.

Holly is going to wear a huge, glittery, glammed up ballgown, and we’ll be in dresses that are more of a modern take on the princess’s dresses, but there will be text on the invite stating which bridesmaid is which princess and which groom is which prince.

There are five of us, and she wants us each in a different color, so she has chosen Ariel (pink), Cinderella (blue), Belle (yellow), Rapunzel (purple), and Tiana (green). She picked who would be who for us, and told me that she wants me as Tiana since I have black hair. The problem is, I’m white. The entire bridal party is white. You can see why I’m not feeling this choice.

I brought it up privately with Holly and tried to suggest alternatives for green (Merida from Brave or Anna from Frozen) but she shot them down (Merida’s dress is “actually blue” + she has no prince, and she doesn’t like Frozen).

I told Holly that I will not be Tiana for her wedding and that I’m stepping down unless she accepts one of the alternatives or provides another. She called me a b**ch and a terrible friend and said nobody is going to care. I told her that I care, and I’m not doing it.

I’ve gotten some Facebook messages from some of her family/friends asking why I’m being so difficult and why I’m trying to ruin Holly’s wedding, and even a couple of the bridesmaids have told me to just “suck it up” because I’m throwing Holly’s plan out of whack.

I’m standing my ground on this, but the pushback kind of has me wondering if I’m making something out of nothing. Am I the a**hole? Edit: Bride only asked me to get a tan. Nowhere did I comment saying she asked everyone.

Even if I had done so and deleted the comment, someone in this thread would still be able to find it, or at least the [deleted] marker in one of the comment threads. ✌️

After reading the comments of other Redditors, OP wrote an update:

Edit: The NTA and NAH votes took the majority despite the flair, and the NTA comments were far more concise and logical, so I feel confident in decision here and that I was not an a**hole. I have also set up an AMA for anyone who still has questions since this post is now locked.

Thank you to everyone who gave me good advice and sent love to my inbox. Also, in case it isn’t clear to the plethora of users who continued to recommend alternatives, I bowed out of the wedding after Holly called me a b**ch and I will not be making attempts to rejoin. At this point, I no longer consider Holly and a friend and I doubt she still considers me one.

Disney-themed weddings sound magical… until someone’s assigned a role they’re not comfortable playing. In this case, one bridesmaid was told she’d be dressing as Tiana—despite being white—and her discomfort sparked a meltdown from the bride, a few Facebook messages from family friends, and a wave of Reddit discourse that could rival a Disney sequel.

At first glance, it might seem harmless: it’s just a green dress, right? But context matters. The OP wasn’t trying to make a scene—she even offered other princess options like Merida or Anna. But the bride was set on Tiana and didn’t take kindly to being told “no,” even privately. That’s where the problem started: not just with the costume itself, but with the refusal to listen.

Let’s get real for a second: Tiana isn’t just a character in a green gown. She was the first Black Disney princess and means something deeper to a lot of people. When a white bridal party assigns one of their own to “play” her, it risks turning meaningful representation into a party prop—especially if it’s done without thought.

Sociologist Dr. Ruth Nicole Brown once said, “Representation is not about costumes—it’s about understanding the stories behind them.” When those stories are brushed off for the sake of aesthetic or nostalgia, that’s where discomfort turns into disrespect. Even if the bride didn’t mean harm, intent doesn’t cancel out impact.

Some Redditors said OP was overreacting. But others, especially women of color, pointed out that saying “no” to something that feels weird isn’t overthinking—it’s setting a boundary. And when that boundary is met with name-calling and social pressure? That’s not friendship. That’s control dressed up in tulle and tiaras.

The lesson here? If someone you care about says they’re uncomfortable, the conversation shouldn’t be “You’re ruining everything.” It should be: “Let’s talk about how to make this feel good for both of us.”

Reddit had some thoughts—and a few strong ones. While some sided with the bride’s vision, others applauded the bridesmaid for standing up for herself.

Many said that OP was not wrong as she was the one who wore the dress, she could decide she would wear or not. For example, Codeverity supported the Redditor’s discomfort, rejecting forced racial portrayals.

codeverity − Some of the comments on here are weird AF. If someone doesn't want to depict another race, then they shouldn't have to. Period. NTA OP, please don't listen to the judgments you're getting. It's just uncomfy and wrong for her to be so insistent that of all princesses you have to depict a black woman.

OP has every right to say no if she is uncomfortable.

CelestiaLundenb3rg − NTA. You shouldn’t be forced into anything you’re uncomfortable with, period. And I understand why you are uncomfortable. People saying it’s the same as a black girl being a white princess aren’t a acknowledging the bigger picture/context.

If the bride were a good friend, she would care about OP’s comfort.

KickIt77 − NTA. The bridezillas all come out of the woodwork to defend any ridiculous whim of a bride and why you should suck it up. The fact that you are uncomfortable dressing up as a black character should be enough for her to rethink. And if she were a true friend, she would dress you up as someone else.

Or even do something completely wacky and just dress you like a generic princess of unknown origin in some dress. Like the guest list isn't going to care at all. Maybe you dodged a bullet. She sounds like she wants the wedding of every 6 year old's dreams.

A bride can have her (weird) vision while still honoring the comfort level of her wedding party. Handling this better would have been a group discussion of her preferences and the bridesmaids preferences assuming they are paying for their own dresses, etc.

Torrentialwx cited a scholar, backing the Redditor’s concerns about racial optics.

torrentialwx − I came across this article and am leaving it here for you, in case you see this comment: https://www. washingtonpost.com/news/posteverything/wp/2017/10/30/can-a-white-child-dress-as-a-halloween-character-from-another-race/ And everyone saying that ‘black people can dress up as white characters’—the article (written by a black woman) labels this as a **false equivalency**.

Of course black girls have dressed up as white Disney princesses plenty—anyone wanna take a gander at *why*? For those not wanting to use critical thinking skills, it’s because there weren’t any black Disney princesses for an inexcusable amount of time.

The article’s author warns about comparing the two scenarios. Honestly I’m a little shocked by the lack of understanding around why OP would be uncomfortable. NTA —it’s OP dressing up as Tiana, not the bride, so OP gets to decide. I honestly saw the idea of Tinkerbell as a green princess and I think that’s brilliant.

This user saw no issue unless blackface was involved, urging the Redditor to relax.

ParticularAd1735 − I don’t think anyone would be offended if you were dressed as Tiana—or a modern take on Tiana—unless you wore blackface. I’m assuming she doesn’t want you to do that.

While some user claimed that OP was right and the bride was wrong, this commenter saw that both sides were not wrong. They also suggested Holly respect the OP comfort.

SneakySneakySquirrel − NAH. There’s nothing wrong with a Tiana-inspired dress on anyone, as long as there’s nothing weird going on with hair/makeup. There’s generally some leeway when you’re “Disneybounding” vs fully dressing up as a character. But the bride should really consider your comfort level.

Announcing who is which princess also strikes me as weird, and I’m a Disney girl myself. Wear the dress or bow out, depending on how important this friendship and wedding is to you.

Cadence_828 called the Redditor’s stance virtue-signaling, saying a Tiana dress is fine.

Cadence_828 − Tbh, I think it’s worse that you’re making such a big deal out of this. It really comes off as virtue signaling, as most anyone would tell you that it’s okay to dress as a character from a different race as long as you are respectful. Darken your skin? Get dreadlocks? Then yeah, YTA. Wear a tiana-inspired dress? Completely fine.

Nmanda78, a Black woman, found the Redditor’s reaction overblown for a modern dress.

nmanda78 − I'm saying this as a black woman.... You are overreacting. If she was asking you to do blackface or something else offensive then I would back you but wearing a modern take on her dress ..... You can chill out...

BreathingCorpse252 argued race shouldn’t matter for a green dress, labeling her dramatic.

BreathingCorpse252 − YTA. Unless she’s asking you to do black face. Black girls can dress up as Elsa and white forks can dress to like Mulan or Tiana and brown girls can be Rupanzel and Asian girls can be Merida. Stop complicating s**t.

AmphibianNo8598 called the Redditor’s race-based objection silly for a green dress.

AmphibianNo8598 − Honestly YTA if that’s the only reason. It’s a green dress, nobody cares, you’re not playing her at a park, you’re not pretending to be Tiana at all, you’re just wearing a green dress which you’ve already said you’d be fine with if it was another princess. Of course you’re allowed to not be a bridesmaid for any reason, but if that’s the only reason then it’s a stupid one.

Odd-Tangerine1630 questioned the Redditor’s racial focus, seeing no issue with the dress.

Odd-Tangerine1630 − If it's okay for black girls to dress up as Merida, Rapunzel or any other Disney princess then I don't see what's wrong about you wearing a dress that is ONLY alluding to Tiana in its colour. EDIT: Kinda YTA for making this about race when it really shouldn't matter.

However, this commenter criticized both for poor handling, suggesting a random princess draw.

DohnutinNY − ESH (everyone sucks here) As a Black female myself, I don't see anything wrong with you wearing a similar dress to Tiana. Now if you tried to act like Tiana or fully look like her skin tone wise, then yes you would be the AH.

As a Disney fan myself, I personally love your friend's idea, but how she went about it is totally wrong. And her reaction to you being uncomfortable and asking you to get a tan are out of line.

It's late for this idea as you've already stepped out, but I'm for the idea she should let y'all pick the names of the princesses she likes from a bag (I agree a lil weird to not like Frozen, but to each their own.) If you don't like the princess, you should be able to pick a new one or ask one of the other bridesmaids to trade.

What started as a Disney dream spiraled into a lesson on boundaries, cultural awareness, and why friendship doesn’t mean forfeiting your comfort. While the bride may have been planning her happily ever after, forcing someone into a character role they clearly said “no” to? That’s not how real stories end well.

So here’s the real question: Was this bridesmaid too sensitive, or was the bride too stubborn? Would you have sucked it up for the sake of the photo—or sashayed out of the castle gates, too? Let us know in the comments below!

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

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