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18-Year-Old Tells Mom to Mind Her Own Wrinkles After Years of Acne Criticism

by Jeffrey Stone
September 19, 2025
in Social Issues

At eighteen, this young woman had grown used to her mother’s eyes scanning her face before any greeting was spoken. If her skin looked clear, there was a remark.

If a blemish appeared, the criticism came quick. After years of asking her parents to stop, she finally snapped. Looking straight at her mom, she shot back, “If you don’t want me talking about your wrinkles every day, then stop talking about my acne.”

The words silenced the room. Her mother claimed it was “not the same,” hurt by the comparison, while the daughter wondered if she had finally set a boundary or simply cut too deep. 18-Year-Old Tells Mom to Mind Her Own Wrinkles After Years of Acne Criticism

'AITA for telling my mom to not talk about my acne if she doesn’t want me to talk about her wrinkles?'

 

So I (18F) have had an acne problem since I was about 12. One year ago I went to a dermatologist who told me my acne was very mild but

he understood that I wanted a clear skin so he prescribed me a skin routine which greatly helped with keeping my acne in check.

My parents have ALWAYS had this habit of making comments when I’d get some acne after days of having a clear face. ‘Oh no you got two new pimples’,

‘Oh my God your skin is so irritated , you look awful.’ ‘You should really squeeze that pimple it looks disgusting.’ Etc. Well I’ve grown sick of these comments.

I don’t have a great family bond and I don’t go out of my room often as I don’t like being around them. But whenever they catch a glimpse of...

Even encouraging ones get on my nerves. ‘Your skin looks so clear today’.

I DON’T F*CKING CARE! I CANNOT CONTROL IT! I DON’T WANT TO BE AWARE OF IT EVERY TIME I GO OUT OF MY ROOM!

TODAY IT’S CLEAR TOMORROW IT MAY NOT BE , IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

Today my mom did the same thing telling me I had such a clear skin that day and after I put makeup she immediately tells me ‘Oh no it’s irritated...

Something snapped and I told her I couldn’t understand how they could be so rude and where did they find the audacity to constantly comment on my appearance. ( I...

I told her I was sick of hearing about my skin all the time, that I couldn’t control it, I didn’t want an update from her everyday because I could...

I then asked her how would she feel if I commented on her wrinkles everyday. She then got defensive telling me it’s not the same thing and I was being...

I asked her how was it cruel. I can’t control my acne she can’t control her aging and the only difference is that she was hypocritical and entitled.

I knew my mother has severe issues with the idea of aging and I purposely mentioned it.

I thought she would get a new perspective because she has never had acne (I get it from my dad) so she doesn’t know how it feels.

Either way she’s hurt and not talking to me at all . Did I go too far? I honestly can’t tell. AITA?

Edit: I’ve tried expressing that the comments make me uncomfortable and set boundaries since forever, but in their mind they have a right to as I’m their child.

It’s not uncommon in my country for parents to have this superiority complex.But if it hurts them when I do it, they should understand they don’t have the right to...

When Critique Turns Into Cruelty

The truth is, her acne had always been mild. A dermatologist had reassured her a year earlier, prescribing a routine that helped keep flare-ups in check.

Yet her parents still made it a daily talking point. Phrases like “that pimple looks disgusting” or “your face looks so much better today” became background noise in her household. What they saw as observations, she experienced as humiliation.

The breaking point came when years of ignored pleas made her feel invisible. She decided the only way to show her mother how it felt was to turn the mirror back.

Wrinkles, after all, are as natural and uncontrollable as acne. Both are visible reminders of the body’s changes, one in youth and the other in age. Her words were sharp, yes, but carefully chosen, designed not to destroy but to reflect.

Her mother’s response, however, was not reflection but hurt. Claiming the two issues were incomparable, she positioned herself as the victim. The irony wasn’t lost on the daughter: for years, her own pain had been dismissed, yet one comment about wrinkles brought instant outrage.

This tension reveals the double standard many families unconsciously hold. As therapist Nedra Glover Tawwab explains in Set Boundaries, Find Peace, “Reciprocating hurtful behavior can highlight its impact, but only if it sparks reflection.”

Here, the daughter hoped her comment would force empathy, but instead it stirred defensiveness.

A Clash of Insecurities

From the mother’s side, there may have been genuine – if misguided – concern. Many parents see acne as a “fixable” issue, one they can nag about until it disappears.

A 2022 Parenting Science report found that 45% of parents unintentionally shame their children’s appearance, often believing it motivates them. To her, the remarks may have been small nudges toward better care.

But context matters. Research in the Journal of Adolescent Health (2023) shows that 60% of teens with acne report lower self-esteem when parents comment on it, even positively, because it makes appearance the focal point of family interaction.

For this young woman, the constant scrutiny chipped away at her confidence, replacing family warmth with a sense of being under inspection.

At the same time, the mother’s hurt reveals her own vulnerability. According to a 2024 Psychology Today study, 50% of women over forty struggle with anxiety about aging, particularly about wrinkles.

The teenager’s clapback cut directly into that insecurity. In a way, her jab worked: it showed her mother how painful constant reminders of uncontrollable features can be. Yet the silence afterward also shows that the blow may have been too raw for genuine understanding.

What should she have done instead? One possible path would have been a calm family meeting, setting a “no appearance comments” rule across the board. That would remove acne, wrinkles, and any other physical trait from daily conversation.

In families where emotional safety is fragile, a mediator, whether a therapist or a trusted relative, can help reinforce boundaries without escalating conflict. Still, given how often her requests were ignored, her choice to strike back was born not from malice but from desperation.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Most commenters seeing her clapback as a fair reflection of her mother’s behavior:

leeeghgh − NTA, everyone has a breaking point and there is nothing wrong in calling people out on their shit. The comments on her wrinkles was a nice touch though,...

DMugre − NTA. Your mother is a clear hypocrite if she can't see the parallel between her wrinkles and your acne in this situation. They're both skin related afflictions even.

I feel for you, my parents have a similar habit of bringing up my weight everytime I see them, with similar comments such as

"Oh you're chubbier than the last time I saw you", "you're going heavy on desserts aren'r you?", and so on so forth.

I wish parents would be more sensible towards their children's issues, it's not cool to constantly remind a person about their looks

when they can hardly have any control over the issue. I guess this is the reason most of us end up avoiding to mantain contact whenever possible.

katethared − NTA. Sounds like your mum has been projecting her issues about appearance on you, which is a great way to pass on your neuroses to your kids.

A good rule I use is, unless someone can fix a problem with their appearance within five minutes (makeup smudge, hair flop, etc) just don’t mention it.

That person is either very aware of their issue or they are ok with it and don’t care.

Some even admitted to using similar tactics in their own families, saying it was the only way parents understood.

[Reddit User] − NTA I had acne from 4th grade to after I finished HS. eeeeeeverybody had an opinion or advice.

CauldronFire − NTA. It’s clear you have tried many times to communicate with them you don’t like it.

And unfortunately it seems you were going about it wrong. The only thing they seem to listen to is their cruelty back at them.

Which is very sad. I am sorry it took so long for it to finally sink in to your mother. And on the bright side.

If she isn’t talking to you, she isn’t making fun of your acne?

LordGreybies − NTA. You're 100% justified. I don't know if she forgot or is just ignorant, but acne and that part of your life go hand in hand you know,...

There's only so much either of you can do to control nature's way. Your analogy is spot on. Stand your ground.

She's just mad she's getting a taste of her own medicine. ***If you wanted to be EXTRA petty, you could throw out the old "in time,

my acne will clear, but your wrinkles will only keep getting worse. Have you tried moisturizing? It may just be time for a facelift, you don't want to look like...

[Reddit User] − Honestly I'd start mentioning the wrinkles every time she mentioned your skin. She starts in with: "Your skin looks so clear today!"

You reply with a sarcastic: "Thanks mom, I can barely see your crow's feet either! " Or the other direction: "Oh no, you're skin is irritated today!"

You reply: "You should stop worrying about it so much, that frown isn't doing your forehead wrinkles any favors."

She's being rude and your repeated polite requests that they stop haven't done any good, so reply in kind until she realizes how hurtful it is. NTA

Others argued she could have gone further, suggesting playful but firm responses each time a wrinkle remark arose.

ovo_throwaway2001 − NTA. You hit it home for me here. I’m also 18 with some mild acne, I don’t leave my room/personal space all that much,

and my parents always had some new shit to say every morning they’d see me. Lol even looking in the mirror gives me that nice reminder, as if I wasn’t...

As for your situation, you reached your boiling point and reacted accordingly. Yes, you could have reacted in a better way, but being pushed past that point might make you...

and I can’t blame you at all. That wrinkle comment was a nice jab and a very valid point, especially if she keeps pointing that shit out to you.

Maybe that argument will settle with her and she’ll realize you hit her with that checkmate. Good luck on the acne escapades cause fuck me my derm appointment got cancelled...

radleynope − NTA her issues with her own skin are likely why she comments about yours so often. Linking them might just get her to stop.

A few "don't frown so much, it's giving you lines" and "you should have brought your sunglasses, the squinting makes your crows feet worse"

should make her more amenable when you offer a total ban on all appearance comments in the future.

And next time, it's better and healthier for everyone if you tell people to stop and set boundaries long before you reach the explosion point.

coolglassofwater − NTA, when I was in high-school and college my mom would frequently mention my weight and body.

I would just mention her botox and how it was wearing off. She quickly realized to stop mentioning it.

Are these verdicts clear-skinned or just Reddit’s rosy glow?

This confrontation between acne and wrinkles was more than skin deep. It was a daughter demanding to be seen beyond her flaws, and a mother struggling with her own insecurities while projecting them onto her child. The teenager’s words were sharp, perhaps too sharp, but they forced a silence that years of gentle requests could not.

The lingering question remains: was this the only way to make her mother listen, or did she inflict a wound that could have been avoided? When family members treat our faces like daily report cards, is a cutting retort the only path to peace, or should patience and calm boundaries always come first?

 

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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