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A Husband Faked Sleeping All Night to Catch His Wife Lying About Their Cats – AITA?

by Sunny Nguyen
September 24, 2025
in Social Issues

At 4 a.m., bleary-eyed and clutching his phone, a husband feigned sleep while secretly logging every tiny sound in the house. The culprit? His wife’s repeated claims that their cats were ruining her nights.

What started as a simple disagreement over pets spiraled into an all-night vigil, revealing a truth stranger than fiction.

The wife had threatened to leave unless the cats were rehomed, painting a picture of chaos-filled nights that didn’t quite add up.

But when he stayed awake to track the feline activity, the shocking revelation he uncovered sent shockwaves through their marriage, and Reddit was quick to weigh in.

A Husband Faked Sleeping All Night to Catch His Wife Lying About Their Cats - AITA?

A Redditor’s Cat-astrophe Turned Marriage Meltdown – Here’s The Original Post:

'AITA for faking sleeping all night to see if my wife is lying?'

The past couple of months, my wife has been complaining about our cats. She’s been claiming that the cats wake her up constantly

and that she’s frustrated every night that she “has to get up and open the door for the cats” or “the cats keep making noises” or “the cats keep jumping...

It got to the point where she started saying she wants me to get rid of them. I told her I’ve never seen or heard any of this, but she...

She kept telling me she was getting less and less sleep and kept acting aggressive, blaming lack of sleep from the cats, and that if I didn’t get rid of...

I legitimately started considering giving the cats to my sister, until I noticed something.

One morning she claimed she had gotten up multiple times throughout the night to help the cats. She listed a bunch of times.

I thought it was weird, because I had been up until 4am, and she claimed that she “got up at 1am to open the door for them, and a few...

I was in the bedroom the entire time while she slept, and I know none of that happened. Things weren’t adding up, so I decided to run a test.

I waited until she said she was going to bed, then I let the cats out of our bedroom, lowered my phone brightness, and faked going to sleep.

I just laid there in bed for the entire night, bored, but I definately did not fall asleep. I made sure to make timestamps every 30 minutes on my phone...

I marked down every noise my cats made. One cat had jumped down from something and made a little sound at 3:18am, and one ate food relatively quietly by the...

Other than that, nothing happened. Sure enough, my wife slept from 11pm until 9am, and that morning she claimed she had woken up “at least 7 times” to open doors...

At this point I was pissed because she was clearly lying to me. I was exhausted and fed up with the lies, so I just bluntly called her out on...

I told her, “That’s funny. I stayed up all night to monitor the cats, and they weren’t even in the room at all last night. I have timestamps and everything.

So you’ve been lying to me and trying to convince me to get rid of my cats? Why?” She just sat there quitly shaking and looking pissed, then got up...

She came back hours later and ignored me whenever I talked, and when I asked her how I’m the bad-guy in this situation,

she finally said that I was treating her like a child by lying about sleeping and staying up all night just to see if she was lying or not

and that making timestamps and everything as if I was an investigator was “going too far” and makes me an obsessive a**hole.

I did it because she was threatening to make me get rid of my cats or she’d leave me, and her claims didn’t add up.. So, am I an “obsessive...

UPDATE: My wife has been Baker Acted. She did not hurt herself, just said something concerning in public.

I got a call from the hospital this morning, asking me to head over for some “family therapy.” Apparently she finally wanted to talk.

I’ll be honest, I’m pretty pissed at the reason why she’s been so hateful towards my cats. It’s absolutely asinine.

It’s nothing that anyone had suggested. She’s not cheating. She’s not sick physically or mentally. She’s not bored of the relationship and looking for an “out."

According to her, one of the cats stepped on her laptop and ruined a story she was writing. She’s hated both cats ever since.

I mean that sucks, but it’s not worth trying to emotionally blackmail me into getting rid of them.

I asked her why she didn’t just tell me the truth and why she’d been lying and refused to talk about it when I’d asked.

Her answer was “Because you wouldn’t have gotten rid of them otherwise.” and explained that when she saw I wasn’t willing to abandon them for her,

she took offense and made it a “goal” to have me pick her over them. Sickening. Don’t know why she actually admitted to it all.

The woman with us asked me how I felt about all of it, and I just told the truth. I told her it was a nice run, but I’m probably...

I was asked why, and I told them. I’ve seen a new hateful, malicious side of her that I want nothing to do with.

She was so set on getting rid of the cats over a fanfiction being ruined that she manipulated her husband.

My wife started shouting at me that I’ve betrayed her and that I’m “scum” for choosing animals over her. At least cats don’t give ultimatums like she gave.

It sucks that she’s been Baker Acted and all I guess, but it’s for the best right now. She’ll have time to process it all in a safe environment and...

I’m almost sure I’m going for divorce. I’m very worried about having her in the same house as my cats. I want my cats safe. I don’t want to worry...

I guess I’ll do what almost all of you suggested: “Keep the cats, rehome the wife.” Not how I wanted it to end, but life isn’t always nice. If I...

I did not stare at her all night. We have a mute TV with subtitles playing every night. I subtly watched TV while paying attention to the cat sounds.

I’m not allowed to install cat doors, and she won’t let me keep the doors open.*** Apartment rules.

Why did I instantly assume she was lying? I’m unfamiliar with mental health/diseases. I know about some diseases, but ones that make you think your dreams happened?

Tumors that make you see/hear/remember nonexistent things? Sorry that I wasn’t aware of those possibilities.

So when someone tells me events happened when they literally didn’t, I generally assume they’re lying.

Shame on me. If you want even more context/questions answered, simply go through my comment history.

The Cat Chronicles and a Night of Surveillance

The husband had always adored their cats, but his wife painted them as nocturnal tormentors, claiming sleepless nights and chaos. Her demands were clear: rehome the cats or face the consequences of a marital breakup.

Yet as the days passed, inconsistencies in her story gnawed at him. Were the cats really the problem, or was something else at play?

Determined to find out, he spent a night meticulously documenting every meow, every paw-step. What he discovered flipped the narrative entirely: the cats had barely disturbed a single hour of sleep.

The real shock came when his wife admitted the truth, she had lied. One cat had accidentally deleted her fanfiction by stepping on her laptop, and she had spun an elaborate story to redirect blame and guilt.

From an innocent pet mishap arose a fabricated crisis that threatened to unravel their marriage.

This twist sparked a mix of awe and horror among Redditors, but the deeper issue was trust. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman highlights in The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work that trust “is built in very small moments.”

The husband’s clandestine stakeout, while clever, could have further damaged that fragile foundation.

From his perspective, he had acted in the interest of truth and loyalty to the cats, yet the covert surveillance also mirrored a lack of trust that had already been creeping into their relationship.

Understanding the Underlying Tensions

A 2019 study by the American Veterinary Medical Association found that 20% of couples reported disagreements over pets as a major stressor. Pets often become stand-ins for emotional security, and demands to remove them can feel like personal attacks.

For the wife, the deleted fanfiction was more than a lost story; it symbolized unmet needs, control, validation, and a subtle test of her husband’s loyalty.

Relationship expert Esther Perel has noted, “Conflict is often less about the issue itself and more about what it represents” (The Atlantic, 2017). In this case, the cats were collateral damage in a battle over trust and priorities.

The husband, on the other hand, faced a moral and emotional dilemma: protect his beloved pets or placate a spouse who was leveraging false claims to gain influence.

Perhaps the situation could have been handled differently, direct confrontation and honest dialogue might have defused the tension before it escalated into a clandestine operation.

Couples therapy could help rebuild trust, but only if both partners were willing to face uncomfortable truths rather than assign blame.

From a practical perspective, experts agree on one thing: communication must come first.

The husband might have approached the inconsistencies by calmly asking, “I’m noticing discrepancies, can we talk about what’s really going on with the cats?”

Meanwhile, the wife could have expressed her emotions without fabricating crises, preserving both her dignity and the marriage.

Here’s what people had to say to OP:

Many condemned the wife’s manipulation, labeling it passive-aggressive and controlling.

KrymsinTyde − NTA. That was gaslighting and manipulative, and if she had issues with your cats she should have said so directly

Samwise3214 − NTA but you've kinda called her bluff about her leaving you now you've removed the cats excuse from the equation. Wishing you all the best

Noodles_R − NTA in my opinion - you had to test her. She’s trying to get you to get rid of your pets, and essentially blackmailing your relationship over it....

Others sympathized with her frustration, suggesting she may have been dealing with anxiety or emotional overwhelm. 

Leopard-Recent − NTA, but I can't help but wonder if your wife has some type of sleep disorder? I suffer from insomnia and fall asleep for just a few minutes...

When I get up in the morning, I struggle sometimes to figure out what was real and what was just a dream.

APotatoPancake − NTA. Your wife is gaslighting you. You are not an obsessives a**hole she is.

UhOhSleepyThrowaway − Update for those who see it: Well she’s gone for now. By that, I mean I kicked her out of the house.

Why? Because she’s been in the bedroom for hours now, watching youtube, refusing to talk to me about what’s happened. A few minutes ago, one of the cats started meowing...

Within seconds of him doing that, she ran over to the door and kicked it really hard and screamed “This is all your fault. F**k off.”

It scared the s**t out of the cat and he hid under the couch. I opened the door and asked her what her deal was, that it could have hurt...

”So I told her to get out of the house and go find somewhere to stay for a while. She tried to cry her way out of the situation, but...

I’m done. She had every opportunity to talk to me, and now she’s screaming at the cats and kicking doors and scaring them.

I tried to listen and offered help, but she wanted none of it. Too late. As she was leaving I told her she can call me when she’s calmed down...

I’m just so drained at this point. I tried. I gave her a chance to talk before all of this, and she insisted there was nothing to talk about.

I may not have handled it the most mature/healthy way, sure, but I tried. Maybe this can be fixed, maybe not. I had hope a few hours ago, now I...

I’m so sorry. I think I’m done replying for now. Just so much going on. So much to think about.

Too many trollish comments and messages, too many people coming up with c**spiracy theories, too many people who can’t read or bother to check my comments. It’s all so tiresome....

Prechrchet − NTA: your wife was making claims that did not match the known facts, and you did you needed to do to get to the truth.

I find it interesting that she didn't try to argue that you made a mistake, or that you really hadn't been up all night. That tells me that she knows...

Get a lawyer, because you are about to need one.

Other people are puzzled and sympathetic, torn between the mystery of why she’s lying and admiration for OP’s clever handling of the cat situation:

hdmx539 − NTA. But, unlike some other redditors, I'm not going to say get rid of the wife.

My first thought here was whether your wife might have a problem sleeping and staying asleep. I know you said that she slept all night, but what looks like sleep...

For the longest time I thought it was my cats that were waking me up at night. However, once the last of them had passed over the rainbow bridge

and I was still having this issue I knew it was something different. I thought I was sleeping all night, however, I actually wasn't. I tried all sorts of sleep...

I figured out what was my issue (my mattress was so old and with the arthritis I've developed I kept waking up from the pain without realizing I was waking...

Next time ask your wife if you can observe her sleeping. See if she has sleep apnea, or some other sleeping problem that could possibly be disturbing her sleep.

Sometimes small almost imperceptible gasps could be her breathing has stopped during her sleep and that can disturb the sleep cycle.

See about getting a sleep study done to rule out any problems or issues. Yeah, I know she says she physically gets up to let the cats our or something,...

I've had moments where I felt like someone was staring at me. It felt very real but obviously wasn't. Also, this whole "sneaking around" to prove one's wife is lying...

I don't understand why spouses just can't be honest and say, "Fine. I'll stay up to see what's going on" rather than sneaking around like this.

It feels like a lie and I've seen this before many times on this sub. Still think NTA, but actions like this just reek of dishonesty.

That's why your wife is responding the way she is, because this really feels really dishonest and like you've tricked her.

Instead of talking through what the problem might be you tricked her. She's lost some trust in you.

Hell, I would too. My husband and I don't do things like this. We believe each other and then investigate to see what's really going on.

danigirl3694 − NTA there's no reason I can see why she feels the need to lie about your cats being trouble when they're doing nothing wrong.

Unless she's looking for an excuse to leave you but wants you to be the one to initiate the break up? Or she just doesn't like the cats. Those are...

LunaKip − NTA. She's not mad at what you did. She's mad that she got caught. That said, the fact that you had to do this shows a real breakdown...

If you want to salvage it, maybe gently sit her down and ask why she felt the need to lie and why she *really* wants to get rid of the...

You need trust and open communication to get through something like this.

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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