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Young Mom Slammed for Leaving Babies Alone – Experts Say She Did the Right Thing

by Charles Butler
September 24, 2025
in Social Issues

Imagine juggling three crying newborns, your heart pounding with exhaustion, and sneaking outside for a breath of fresh air, only to be branded a “horrible mom” by your fiancé.

That’s the gut-wrenching reality for a 20-year-old Redditor, a first-time mom to 2-month-old triplets.

Overwhelmed and often alone, she takes short breaks on her apartment’s doorstep, baby monitor in hand, just to calm her nerves.

But when her fiancé caught her outside while the babies cried, his fury lit a fuse that pulled his whole family into the storm.

Young Mom Slammed for Leaving Babies Alone - Experts Say She Did the Right Thing

Want the full scoop? Dive into the original post below!

'AITA for leaving my babies inside by themselves?'

I (20) am a mother of triplets whom are only 2 months old. I never expected ever in my life that I'd be a mother to triplets so when I...

I'm home with my babies all day long and had to even transfer my education to online.

Sometimes I just need some fresh air especially when I can't get them to stop crying and I find myself getting super frustrated to the point of tears, it's honestly...

My fiance's (24) parents rented us a main floor apartment so when I step outside I'm literally just sitting on the chair right beside the door plus I have a...

and it has a camera on it I can literally see them and hear them so if anything happened I'd be able to quickly get to them.

Being able to step outside for a few minutes to take a breather is really important to me because I start to have mini panic attacks when I can't get...

and I get really frustrated because I just feel super o**rwhelmed, Being able to go outside just gives me a chance to clam down.

My fiance came home to me sitting outside while the babies were crying and freaked out on me calling me a horrible mom and a bunch of other names that...

He thinks that I was being super neglectful and putting the babies in harm way and even told his parents and now everyone seem to be really against me.

I grow up in the system my fiance's family is the only family I have and ever known so it breaks my hurt that they are so upset with me...

So here I am wondering if I should apologize for my actions or if I am the A-hole in this situation..

Update: I decided to show my fiance this thread at first he was really upset with me for sharing our personal problems with strangers on the internet even though it's...

But in the end when he had a chance to clam down and hear me and all of you guys out he actually apologized and promised me he'd be more...

I just wanna thank everyone for the support that you all give me it brought tears to my eyes (happy tears) seeing how supportive you all were to a stranger...

I don't think I ever received this much support before I can't believe how much attention this post even got plus the award again thank you so much.

Expert Insight: A Break or a Betrayal?

Caring for one newborn is a marathon; caring for three at once is like running back-to-back sprints with no finish line. This young mom shoulders the bulk of the work while her fiancé juggles school and a job.

When the cries push her toward panic, she steps just outside her main-floor apartment, monitor in hand, keeping the babies within sight and earshot.

Her fiancé’s reaction, calling her neglectful and pulling his parents into the fight, escalated what she saw as a coping mechanism into a full-blown family feud. But is it really neglect to take a breath, or is it survival?

Research says the latter. A 2021 report from the American Academy of Pediatrics highlights that parents of multiples face a 20% higher risk of postpartum stress and anxiety.

Pediatrician Dr. Harvey Karp reminds parents, “If you’re overwhelmed, it’s better to put the baby in a safe place and take a moment to breathe.” With her babies monitored and secure, she’s not abandoning them – she’s preventing burnout, even danger.

The Strain Behind the Fight

Her fiancé’s anger might come from worry, but it misses the brutal reality of her load. Triplets mean round-the-clock feeding, diapering, and soothing – alone, most of the time.

For someone who grew up in foster care without a strong family safety net, his parents’ harsh judgment cuts even deeper. Instead of support, she gets suspicion.

This moment shines a light on a bigger problem: the impossible standards new moms are held to.

They’re expected to be superhuman, even when their bodies and minds are stretched beyond limits. Reddit users quickly pointed out what her fiancé failed to see, her quick breaks weren’t a sign of neglect, but proof of resilience.

Finding a Path Forward

So, what now? Communication could be the lifeline. She might frame it this way:

“I need these moments to reset so I can be the best mom for our babies. Let’s figure out how you can help.”

In return, he could commit to parenting classes, scheduled shifts, or even joining support groups together.

Consistency will matter more than apologies. If he truly wants to be her partner, stepping up in real, tangible ways is the only way to heal the rift.

For her, accessing community resources, from postpartum groups to counseling, might be just as critical as those doorstep breaths.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Users praised the mom for taking a healthy approach to stress, called out her fiancé’s overreaction, and encouraged her to hold firm. 

Important-Lawyer-350 − NTA. When I had my baby one of the things the nurses told me repetitively while in hospital and during the home visits is that if she is...

and I know she has been fed, she has a clean nappy on and she isn't sick and I am getting stressed out its ok to go outside for a...

Their exact words were "a crying baby is an alive baby". They tell you this because it is better for a baby to be left to cry for a little...

It allowed me to do what I needed to do without feeling guilty. And those few minutes really do help in those times when they won't settle.

And I had one, let alone if I had three. Edit: thanks for the awards and votes. I really hope OP sees she has nothing to feel guilty about and...

CrimsonKnight_004 − NTA - What you’re doing is preventing shaken baby syndrome. When the caregiver is o**rwhelmed, you need to step away for a few minutes to collect yourself and...

You’d only be an AH if you left them alone for long stretches of time, but it sounds like you only do it for short periods and monitor them when...

Ready_South_6727 − Nta. They teach in parenting classes to step away if it's overwhelming as long as baby ain't gonna be harmed. Is the significant other just ignorant or just...

namesaretoohardforme − NTA. This fiance should be looking for ways to support you, not blame you.

Many shared their own stories of needing breaks and offered expert-backed advice. 

ChiefTuk − NTA. In fact, they are wrong. You're seconds away from them. You have a monitor on them. They are as safe as if you were inside the house....

It won't cause any long term harm & shaken baby syndrome often occurs when a parent can't or won't walk away from a crying baby when they're frustrated & exhausted....

petunia-pitbull − NTA- you are being a GOOD parent by recognising when you are reaching a breaking point and taking a moment to yourself.

Your partner and their family are being ridiculous. Everyone needs a moment alone away from their babies, 5-10 mins alone is nothing.

Once the babies are in a safe environment, fed and cleaned there is absolutely no harm in walking away for a few moments breathing space.

Diligent-Activity-70 − The whole purpose of the baby monitor is so that you can leave the babies in a room on their own. Being just outside the apartment door is...

It sounds like you are o**rwhelmed. You need some help with the babies from time to time. Either the father needs to be home more or his family should help...

One baby is a lot, three have you completely outnumbered. NTA

Others sent simple but powerful reminders: “You’re not a bad mom. You’re human.”

[Reddit User] − NTA. Honestly, you are REALLY young and having one newborn for anyone, let alone at your age is hard, without being 3. I think it is time...

Reach out to your doctor. Often health insurance offers newborn care, particularly in the case of multiples. Even if it's just for a couple of hours per day, you need...

Reach out to friends and family. Reach out to your local college with an early childhood education program. Many colleges with early childhood programs offer sitting, parents as teachers programs,...

Or they can at least refer you to a part time nanny. Being constantly o**rwhelmed is not healthy for you and could be dangerous for those babies.

You might want to ask your doctor to refer you to a physiologist to evaluate you for port parts depression. Your fiance needs to get a grip and realize that...

3 crying infants is too much for one person to handle alone. And with multiples, who tend to be born early, they are going to be behind slightly on milestones.

Just know that 8 weeks is about "breaking point" for most new parents. It's about the time when colic hits its peak, appetite increases

and babies start becoming a little more aware of their surroundings but just when you think you can't take it anymore, it's about the time they start sleeping through the...

TCTX73 − NTA, you aren't neglecting them, you're taking a breather when you're o**rwhelmed. That's actually keeping you from being a "bad mom".

You need help, though. One baby is a lot to deal with, three is too much solo all the time. Sometimes people have expectations on women that the moment we...

That's not reality. We're human, we have our limits and need help. You're doing good, you're taking breaks before you hit breakdown. Hugs to you!

ReviewOk929 − "baby monitor step up in their room and it has a camera on it" NTA you are being responsible by monitoring them but also doing the right thing...

A Battle for Balance

This young mom’s brief moments of air became the spark for a family firestorm. To her fiancé, they looked like neglect; to Reddit, they looked like survival. With his apology and talk of parenting classes, there’s hope but rebuilding trust will take effort.

In the end, this isn’t just about one argument. It’s about redefining what strong parenting looks like. Sometimes strength means holding the baby. Other times, it means stepping away just long enough to catch your breath.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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