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Dad Says Part-Time Parenting Is the Best Thing That Happened to Him – Now His Family Calls Him a Monster

by Sunny Nguyen
September 25, 2025
in Social Issues

A father of three thought the end of his marriage would mark the beginning of peace. After years of distance and tension, he finally found joy again with a new partner and a rhythm of part-time parenting that allowed him to be fully present for his children.

But when his ex-wife pushed for reconciliation, armed with a video of their kids wishing for a reunited home, the fragile balance of his new life collapsed.

His honesty, that this year as a part-time dad has been his happiest, sparked pain for his ex, disappointment for his girlfriend, and judgment from his family.

Dad Says Part-Time Parenting Is the Best Thing That Happened to Him - Now His Family Calls Him a Monster

This Redditor’s family fallout is a wild ride of heartbreak and hard truths!

'AITAH for telling ex-wife that being a part time dad has been the best year of my life?'

I (m36) met my ex wife (f33) when I was 25. We fell in love and the children came sooner than we planned but it just happened and I love...

First few years of our relationship was great but then it wasn’t. Looking back it wasn’t anyone’s fault we just became very different people. After f5 our sexlife became nonexistent.

It felt like for my wife, the purpose of f**king me was done now we have three beautiful children.

After 3 years we started having s** again in a form of mercy handjobs in bed. It wasn’t enough for me.

But she told me that she is tired and busy with 3 small children.

I was tired too but I was more than prepared to make effort to make plans and time for romance (not only s** that suffered but even intimacy and romance).

I had vasectomy so ex wife didn’t need to take unnecessary hormones because we were done having children.

When it started affecting our children, seeing us very irritated and cold towards each other, I thought I should man up and pull the plug.

We haven’t been happy or intimate since before our second was born. And we haven’t had real s** since we conceived our youngest.

We should have ended it way earlier but the guilt of breaking the children’s home was heavy until I noticed that our home was already broken

and my children aren’t stupid not to see the sellotape we’re trying to hold it together with. I asked for divorce.

Everyone told me I was mad and to think about the children and it was very hard in the beginning yes. I left the house for my ex. I rented...

I was positively surprised at how much happier the children became seeing me happy and not easily irritated and brooding.

I started seeing my gf(f40) about a year ago and what was thought to be a casual one time thing turned out to be the love of my life.

She is amazing in every aspect. Kind, loving, successful funny and so f**king beautiful. She is child free and she was happy that I was done having children.

On my child free weeks I can just be with her. Just being me. Late breakfasts in bed. Morning s**. Wherever I want in the home.

I know it makes me sound like a selfish d**che but on my weeks, I give 100% because I’m content and happy with life.

She has met my children too and they adore her. Why this lengthy background? I’ll tell you.

My ex (and my ex mother in law and my own mother behind her) has been hinting that maybe we should go back together now.

The children are older, we are less tired and we are much happier now so we aren’t going to fight all the time like we used to.

She wants a real relationship too and she will give me as much s** as I wanted (wow is that really what she thinks I want? More mercy f*cks for...

Think of the children. Ex is tired of being a single mom while I’m playing a bachelor every other week. Give them their old safe home back.

No need for hopping from place to place. While the guilt was nagging at me I rejected her advances and ignored her and the guilt

because I’m happy for the first time in years, maybe ever. Until Friday when my gf came home crying.

She asked me maybe we should break up and that she doesn’t want to be in the way of my and my children’s happiness.

She asked me if I still was in love with my ex. It broke my heart to see her broken like I didn’t do a good job showing her what...

Turned out ex wife has contacted her telling her that she was the reason we aren’t back together and the children are suffering.

That we love each other and she is “my fun” for now. I called my ex livid and she called me selfish.

I then told her that being a part time dad was the best thing that ever happened to me because I’m a human not only a father.

My ex wife started crying. I apologized for hurting her but she hung up. Now I’m being bombed by my mom and the rest that I’m a selfish man and...

My mom even sent me a video with my children where she asked them how they would feel if mommy

and daddy moved back together and they were so happy saying yes and jumping.

I can’t forget my daughter’s face lighting up with happiness at the prospect. This video was sent to my gf as well and now she is distant and broken.

I hear her cry whenever she thinks I don’t hear her. Am I being wrong here. Am I being a terrible parent?

What my family doesn’t understand is that my children’s happiness now is the result of me leaving our toxic depressig existence but how can you explain that to small children?

Life After Divorce

For this father, the divorce was not an escape from responsibility but a lifeline from years of emotional isolation.

He had lived through what many call a “dead marriage,” where conversations dwindled to necessities and intimacy had long disappeared.

When the separation was finalized, he found himself not only breathing easier but also rediscovering parts of himself he thought were gone.

Parenting part-time gave him space to recharge, to work, and to invest in a new relationship. When his children stayed with him, he was energetic, playful, and fully engaged.

They went on outings, cooked together, and built memories in ways he rarely managed during the final years of his marriage.

His new girlfriend, who did not have children of her own, embraced this chapter with warmth and patience, showing him what it felt like to be loved without resentment or distance.

Pressure from the Past

That peace began to unravel when his ex-wife raised the idea of reconciliation. Exhausted from single parenting, she hinted that returning to the marriage would be best for the children.

To strengthen her case, she recorded a video of the kids expressing their hope that their parents would get back together. For the father, watching it was heartbreaking.

He knew the children’s words were real, but he also felt the weight of manipulation in how the video was used.

The breaking point came when his ex reached out directly to his girlfriend, suggesting he still loved her and was destined to return.

The fallout was immediate: his girlfriend felt betrayed, the children were confused, and his family criticized his refusal to consider reconciliation.

His blunt response, that this has been the happiest year of his life as a part-time dad, only made the tension worse.

The Larger Struggle of Co-Parenting

This situation highlights one of the hardest parts of divorce: building a new life while protecting children from adult conflict.

Many parents, especially mothers and fathers raising young children, struggle when they see their kids longing for the intact family they once knew.

Yet as family therapist Dr. John Gottman stresses, “Co-parents must shield kids from adult conflicts and prioritize their emotional stability.”

Using children’s words as tools in an argument only deepens their confusion and pain.

The father may not have chosen the gentlest words, but his honesty carried a truth many divorced parents recognize.

Part-time parenting allowed him to reset, to return to his children with energy and love instead of frustration and resentment.

His ex-wife, meanwhile, saw his absence as her burden, not understanding how their fractured marriage had drained him to the point of becoming a shadow of the father he wanted to be.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Not everyone agreed with the father’s approach. Some people felt his honesty was harsh and risked alienating his children.

Own_Presentation6561 − Op any child of divorce will say yes when asked that question. I know I did.

but did I want to really live like that again walking on eggshells because of the atmosphere in our home, when my parents were together.

HELL NO I hated it it was horrible, your kids like seeing you happy and some arsehole in there family is lying to them that you would still be this...

if you got back with the mother. Your kids know it won't be like that but are probably too scared to say no.

They are happy you are happy, you tried your best do not go back it won't change

and how did I know as soon as you said your girlfriend was upset that she had been contacted by your ex this is a n**ty move on her part

This is disgusting what they are doing to your kids tell her to knock it off or you will contact a lawyer she is filling the kids head with crap.

Good luck to you just keep being a good dad when you have them and having a good time when you don't you have balance

and do not give that up yes it broke your heart to see your daughter's face but that video was sent for that reason blackmail.

she is sick you get one life and if you are happy kids are happy then that my friend is a win good luck tell your girlfriend your sorry they...

Rhuthbarb − WTF did I just read? Your children are not safe with your mother. She's manipulating them and they will suffer because of her.

I would go Def Con 1 on all of them. Hell, threaten to sue for full custody of the children on the basis that your wife is showing she'll hurt...

EDIT: I said for him to ***threaten*** to sue for full custody. But even before he does that, he should get an attorney to document the parental alienation and manipulation...

And to put his mother on notice that she can't do this crap. She should only have supervised visits given the s**t she's pulling.

And for everyone saying he doesn't want them full time, he's happy with the status quo. But that doesn't mean he won't step up if he needs to.

Creepy_Addict − NTA Your ex-wife checked out of your relationship before you even had your third child. She didn't want to work on your relationship when you were in one.

She's mad you've moved on and she hasn't. If you aren't in love with your ex, why would you get back together?

Others defended him, arguing that he was right to set boundaries.

AnythingButOlives − OMG. ..SHE VIDEO'ED HERSELF MANIPULATING THE CHILDREN BY ASKING THEM THAT? !?! You need to deal with that ASAP.

That's horrific manipulation. ..and goodness knows what's being said to them WITHOUT video.

oncemorewith_feels − Question: are you and the mom shouldering equal responsibility for your kids?

Like, are you taking them shopping for new shoes, remembering to schedule their dentist appointments, handling school emails. ..etc?

Mountain_Internal966 − Your mom being so wrong for getting those poor kids hope up like that, just terrible.

The other thing that stuck out though was your description of how happy you are with your child-free girlfriend on your off weeks with your children.

You say: “On my child free weeks I can just be with her. Just being me. Late breakfasts in bed. Morning s**.

Wherever I want in the home. "That’s a nice bubble to be in when your children aren’t home. But what about if this becomes serious enough that you move in...

How will your “child-free” girlfriend who is so “happy [you’re] done having children” going to adjust? (Heads up-Usually, they don’t adjust well).

Of course you’re in this happy bubble because you have two separate lives, but as a parent,

having a partner who doesn’t want kids (which is fine) is a recipe for disaster and the children will be the ones who suffer the most.

You definitely, obviously, deserve to find a new partner if you don’t want to reconcile with your wife. As does she.

But the children should always be priority and that includes choosing partners who share your values.

I mean, your children are all very young, so they’ll be living with you for many years to come.

There were also those who placed blame on his ex-wife’s tactics.

Kitchen_Victory_7964 − ESH to varying degrees. You, OP, gave both types of counselling exactly one attempt and threw in the towel.

You really fought hard, right? It also sounds like the majority or entirely of kid duty fell on your wife and you kept pressuring her for s**

and intimacy instead of sharing that burden so she’d be less burnt out.

Instead, you go off about how tired you were as well, except caring for kids tends to be 24/7 duty instead of a 40-hour/week job.

Good work ignoring the unequal stress distribution there. Your wife, MIL, and your mom? Utter s**t. Yes, send that video to a divorce lawyer and start the process.

You and your wife are wildly unhealthy for each other and the fact that she’s manipulating the kids and using them to bully you is nauseating.

Your new gf? If she’s really insistent on being child-free, there is zero reason for her to have developed a relationship with you - what happens if you wind up...

Is she going to become resentful of losing her life with you to having your kids around full time, or will she bounce and leave you all?

louluthekitty − Idk man. The whole thing is convoluted. What stands out to me the most is your part-time dad comment, more so because things change,

especially with kids and you’re involving a person who is childfree, I know we can plan live on “what ifs” but you sure are banking on being a pt-parent for...

If y’all get married or some time of cohabiting situation what role will your current partner play?

I think you have other issues with your current partner on top of your situation with your ex.

HKatzOnline − NTA, but your ex, and both moms are big ones. USING (**abusing**) the kids like that is horrible. You left because your ex did not want a relationship...

she may have thought life would be better out there. Now that she is even older and found out it is not, she has decide she wants you back.

You just have to continue being a great DAD to your kids. That is your first responsibility.

[Reddit User] − ESH. I read the N T A comments and completely understand where those perspective comes from in regards to the child alienation.

But I don't agree that you're a good person either. We forget that these posts can be biased and skew one sided.

Backtracking to the reason you had a dead bedroom. Your wife was busy but you were willing to make it work.

She withdrew s**ually because she was tired and so were you, as per your words. But let me ask this, was the household chores shared?

Was her mental load greater than yours? Did you ever show up to her to meet her needs so that she could meet yours?

Some women prefer just cuddling and being heard and held without the expectations of s**.

It's the way biologically we can be wired. Was she suffering from PPD?

All of these factors affect s** drive and I understand they can't be excuses but all contributing factors.

You paint her in a very negative light, but I'm sure you had your own shortcomings. It takes two to tango after all.

I also agree with the other comments that you relish looking down on your ex, someone that was the love of your life and the mother of your children.

Someone who sacrificed years to be pregnant and wreck her body for your children. You decided to have (3!!)

kids with her and now enjoy the low responsibility life with a childfree woman,

but are actively acting like you're in a superior position. I don't know if this post is fake, but I think you need to take a long hard look and...

Finding the Way Forward

The father now stands at a crossroads. If he softens his words and reassures his children that they are loved and secure, he may repair some of the emotional wounds caused by this clash.

Clear boundaries with his ex-wife will also be crucial, ensuring she does not undermine his relationship with his girlfriend or misuse the children’s emotions to sway him.

Above all, he must continue showing his children consistency and love, because in the long run, actions matter more than appearances.

A Hard Truth

Honesty in the face of family pressure is rarely gentle, but sometimes it is necessary.

This father’s confession about finding happiness as a part-time parent was not meant to reject his children but to affirm that a broken marriage cannot be the foundation for a healthy family.

His struggle is not unique, and his challenge now is to prove that joy and responsibility can exist side by side, even after divorce.

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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