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A Father Faces Backlash for Revealing Mom’s Affair to Their Teens

by Charles Butler
September 30, 2025
in Social Issues

Divorce is never easy, but it becomes even more complicated when children demand answers. One father, devastated after discovering his wife’s three-year affair, faced this dilemma when his teenagers—17, 15, and 14, asked why their family was splitting.

Despite his ex-wife pleading for discretion, he told them the truth: “She cheated on me for three years.” The fallout was immediate. His children cut off contact with their mother, and she responded with online accusations, blaming him for damaging their relationship.

Was his honesty a necessary wake-up call or a devastating mistake? This story explores the emotional minefield of truth, trust, and teenage hearts.

A Father Faces Backlash for Revealing Mom’s Affair to Their Teens
Not the actual photo

A Father’s Blunt Truth About His Wife’s Affair Sparks Family Firestorm

'AITA for telling my kids why we're getting a divorce?'

Alright, this is messy. Me and my ex wife got married at 23, and had 3 kids. The 3 kids are 17, 15, and 14. I recently found out my...

Once I confronted her she broke down, saying that I was never home, always working. Btw I worked like that so she could be a stay at home mom.

I raised my kids to know that cheating is one of the worst things in the world. If you no longer love someone, break up with them, don't cheat. Even...

Now, before we sat them down, their mother begged me to not tell them she cheated. I told her that if they asked, I would not lie. She tried to...

14 year old asked why we were getting a divorce, and I told him, flat out, “she cheated on me for 3 years”.

The mother immediately burst out crying, and all the kids were incredibly angry with her.

It’s been 3 months and they still haven’t spoken to her, saying she ruined their family and their lives, and that she’s a “cheater and a liar”.

She’s been coming after me online saying that I’m a b__tard and ruined her relationship with her kids. AITA?

The Confrontation and Fallout

The father had spent years supporting his family, often working long hours while his wife stayed at home. He raised his children to value honesty and integrity, yet nothing could prepare him for the emotional blow of discovering the affair.

When pressed by his teenagers, he faced a gut-wrenching decision: hide the truth or risk his children learning about it in fragments from someone else.

He chose honesty. He told them directly about the affair, and the reaction was immediate and intense. His ex-wife cried and pleaded for discretion, but his children, shocked and hurt, decided to cut her off.

Their anger was palpable, fueled by a mix of betrayal and the father’s moral framing of the situation. From her side, the mother argued that hiding the affair would have preserved her bond with the children.

Yet, her subsequent attacks online suggested she deflected responsibility, blaming him instead of confronting her own actions.

In this case, the father’s delivery was blunt, reflecting both his pain and frustration. While the truth was undeniable, the impact on the children was intensified because it came without gradual context or emotional scaffolding.

Balancing Honesty and Compassion

This family conflict raises a broader question: how much truth should teenagers hear during a divorce?

A 2022 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found that 64% of teens want honesty about parental splits, but straightforward disclosure can amplify distress.

The father’s approach emphasized moral clarity but risked traumatizing his children by exposing them to adult betrayal in stark terms. Alternative approaches could have softened the blow without compromising integrity.

For instance, he might have framed the divorce as a result of mutual incompatibility or complex adult issues first, reserving explicit details about the affair for private discussions if the teens pressed further.

Counseling or therapy sessions could provide a structured environment for the children to process their emotions, reducing long-term resentment toward both parents.

From the father’s perspective, the revelation was unavoidable. He could not lie or obscure the truth without undermining his own values. Meanwhile, his ex-wife could have taken responsibility privately, helping repair the bond with her children.

Instead, online attacks shifted blame onto him, exacerbating the situation and highlighting how adult conflicts can spill over into teenage relationships.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Some argue that the delivery was unnecessarily harsh, potentially using the truth as a weapon against the mother.

Infamous-Wasabi-9007 − NTA I am a child of divorce. I would have rather known the truth at the time my parents split than learn it a few years later. Your...

She wanted to conceal that fact. That is an unrealistic expectation. Bad news is not a fine wine. It does not improve with age.

Her relationship with the children took a backseat to her infidelity the moment she cheated. You owe her nothing. Especially lying to protect her.

Edited to add: Thanks to everyone for all of the replies, and the awards. I am blown away by your generosity.

[Reddit User] − She’s been coming after me online saying that I’m a b__tard and ruined her relationship with her kids.

OMG the nerve of that women ahahahaha - SHE ruined her relationship with them when SHE decided to cheat on you.

100% NTA - and thank you for being honest with your kids and treating them like adults and not trying to sugarcoat it.

They deserve honesty and transparency in this situation too.

Many emphasize the importance of framing adult issues in a way that prioritizes children’s emotional well-being, suggesting that family therapy could have mitigated the fallout.

LuluLucy- − You didn't ruin anything, she did by cheating.

I was the kid in this scenario before, not once did I think it was my dad's fault for ruining my relationship with her for telling the truth nor did...

Stand by your kids close, they'll need it too during this, even consider family therapy. NTA

RoyallyOakie − NTA. ..The truth is always the best option. Now that it's out though, I would implore you not to badmouth your ex further, and try to promote a...

I'm assuming that she's been a good mother, and ultimately nobody's perfect.

SiameseCats3 − NTA. I would say otherwise is they weren’t 17, 15, and 14. They don’t need to be lied to nor would they appreciate it.

Teenagers aren’t idiots and would be able to pick up on the animosity from their dad towards their mum and the grief from their mum.

CommieDearestJD − ESH your kids are going to eventually find out but it looks, from the outside, like you did that more to hurt your ex wife (which she deserves)...

My problem here is with the delivery. Your children just found out their lives would change and making it as seamless for them as possible should have been your priority.

I was a child when my parents divorced with similar issues. It was never kept from me. I heard it all.

Resentment didn't set in until the last few years (I am around 30) and I now truly see how immature and petty it was of both of my parents to...

So be prepared for that in 10 years.

This situation also reflects the challenge of parental communication during divorce.

needausername678 − ESH She sucks for very obvious reasons. (She cheated and ruined the family and is delusional for not taking full responsibility vs bashing you online)

You were being kind of a bad dad for letting your desire for her face to be rubbed in her mistakes to be more important than your children having an...

Because that whole exchange "she cheated on me for 3 years! " hurt your children too as part of the price of hurting her. And you found that worth it...

And now your kids basically don't have a mother and that is hurtful to THEM. Especially if you've made them feel they're morally wrong to still love their mother.

Cheaters suck. I love hearing of cheaters get their just rewards. But this was sad and I feel bad for these kids cause both their parents didn't put them first.

[Reddit User] − ESH - her for obvious reasons but didn't do for your kids you did that for yourself.

Apparently you're away from home all the time and your ex wife is a SAHM - so who exactly are those children used to having around? have you been raising...

Are you getting them to appointments, taking them to activities, making all their meals?

The dynamic of your family is that they depend on your ex. ..and you pulled that out from under them to make yourself feel better. 'She's ruined their lives'?!

Really? at 17 a parents divorce has 'ruined their lives' but also their mature enough to handle this not 'it's sad but we'll manage', not 'we're better off apart but...

..straight to life ruining? ! FFS - your marriage was over but their lives weren't ruined. If you're the all important parent, then why has cutting their mother out ruined...

StopLies7 − NTA - Therapy for the kiddos so they get tools to process this in a healthy manner. You too if you need it. I'm sorry your ex treated...

W_4ca − NTA: Your kids deserve to know the truth. That being said, as hard as it may be, you should also encourage your kids to find it in their...

You don’t want them living with that anger forever. I was 12 when I found out my mom was cheating on my dad.

At 12 years old I stayed up all night bawling my eyes out until my dad got home from work in the morning and I had to tell him what...

My dad was somehow completely calm and collected (on the outside at least) and hugged me and told me it was going to be alright.

He let me skip school that day since he obviously could tell I had been up all night and was very emotionally distraught. The next day my dad confronted my...

My parents divorcing was probably the hardest thing I ever went through, but I think it would have been even harder if I didn’t know at least some of what...

Truth Versus Tenderness

The father’s decision to reveal his wife’s three-year affair turned what might have been a painful yet manageable divorce conversation into a family fracture.

His teenagers’ decision to cut off their mother and her aggressive online responses illustrate the emotional turbulence that follows when honesty is delivered bluntly.

Was his approach a courageous stand for integrity, or could he have protected his children’s hearts with a softer touch?

Navigating divorce with teenagers requires a delicate balance between truth and compassion, and every family must find its own way through this difficult terrain. How do you share painful truths with children without causing long-term damage?

 

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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