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Man Considers Divorcing Wife After She Calls His Childhood Abuse a Lie During Fight

by Sunny Nguyen
October 3, 2025
in Social Issues

As the TV credits rolled, a 27-year-old man broke down before his 26-year-old wife. After six years together, two married, he revealed a dark secret: at nine, a babysitter abused him, threatening silence. His Catholic parents blamed “porn’s poison,” and friends mocked he was “lucky.” He swore never to tell.

Baby Reindeer triggered his confession. Sobbing, he found comfort in his wife’s arms. But the next day, she grew distant – no kisses, no whispers. During an argument over chores, she snapped, “At least I’m not lying about being raped, you f__king narcissist.”

Her words shattered him. He left for a friend’s couch, phone off, unsure if their love could survive.

Man Considers Divorcing Wife After She Calls His Childhood Abuse a Lie During Fight

Netflix Trigger Uncovers Past Horror, But Wife’s Denial Demands a Door Slam

WIBTA for divorcing my wife after she thought I was lying about being rap*d as a child?

I 27M and my wife 26F of have been married for two years and have been together for 6.

As context I was repeatedly raped by my brother’s babysitter when I was around 9.

She would grope me, force me to remove my pants and then either stick my d__k in her mouth or try and give me a handjob whenever my 4 year...

Most of the time I was paralysed and wouldn’t / couldn’t do anything to stop it. She would always buy me sweets or video games for my ds as a...

So in a weird way I started growing attached to her and would try and seek the abuse if it meant getting her “rewards”.

I knew whatever she was doing was wrong but she would always threaten to take my life If I ever told my parents so I never did while the abuse...

Everything stopped as soon as she graduated college and moved states.

I only realised how fucked up the things she did to me were when I was around 14/15 and understood the concept of consent.

When I tried to open up to my parents (strict catholics) , it never ended well.

First they blamed it on porn and claimed it “corrupted my mind” into imagining these things happening to me.

If I claimed I was telling the truth, my dad would beat the s__t out of me and my mom would ground me.

I tried opening up to my friends but their reactions weren’t any better.

My male friends just called me lucky and asked if “the bj was good”. My female friends claimed I was just lying to get attention and laughed in my face.

I learned to just try and forget the past and vowed to myself that I would never mention this to anyone again.

Now onto last week. Me and my wife had heard some good things about this show called baby reindeer on Netflix from our friends.

Going into it I knew it revolved around s__ual abuse and stalking.

In my mind I thought I was “over the past” and I could handle watching the show no problem. Big f__king mistake.

At the end of episode 4 I was literally on the verge of tears and I felt all the supposedly “forgotten” memories come flooding back.

At the end of the next episode I couldn’t hold it in anymore. My wife paused the show and just stared at me. After a while I did finally manage...

She asked me why I was crying and I just let everything out. She said she was sorry hugged me and we went to bed soon after.

I apologised to her the following morning for ruining our night.

From the moment I let her know about the abuse I felt something change in our relationship.

No more kisses when I came back from work and no more initiating anything intimate from her side.

She wasn’t mean or anything but I felt like something was bothering her.

I tried to apologise for maybe making her uncomfortable but she would just claim there was nothing bothering her and I was just being paranoid.

Yesterday me and my wife got into a pretty heated argument about her lying about taking out the trash but during the argument she said something that floored me beyond...

She literally said “At least I’m not lying about being raped you f__king narcissist.” I literally couldn’t process whatever just came out of her mouth.

She tried apologising right after saying that but I just packed a few clothes and left to stay at my friend’s house.

She tried calling me several times since but I haven’t bothered picking up and have blocked her for time being.

I know I might have trauma dumped on her and I know women aren’t into that but I just want some sort of acknowledgment/support.

I don’t have anyone left to turn to with this and that’s why I’m posting here. I’ve had two therapists to date and both didn’t seem to help much.

I’m gut is telling me to divorce her but I she’s genuinely the love of my life. Throwing away 6 years because of this one moment doesn’t sit right with...

WIBTA for divorcing her?. Am I actually the a__hole here? I would love to hear some of your guys opinions on my situation and if you’ve read this all the...

Expert Opinion

This husband’s confession was a huge act of courage. For decades, he carried trauma most men never talk about.

According to RAINN, 1 in 6 men in the U.S. experience sexual violence, but 90% never report it because of shame and stigma. Sharing his story should have been a step toward healing. Instead, his wife’s words turned it into another wound.

At first, she hugged him and showed comfort, but then pulled away. Maybe it was shock. Maybe she didn’t know how to process it. But calling him a liar was devastating.

Research published in the Journal of Interpersonal Violence shows that when survivors are dismissed or doubted by their partners, their risk of PTSD symptoms returning can increase by 60%.

Dr. David Lisak, a leading expert on male survivors, explains: “Doubting a man’s disclosure doesn’t just dismiss pain; it reenacts the isolation of assault.

Partners must choose belief, or the trust in that relationship will collapse.” His words fit perfectly here. The wife’s reaction didn’t just hurt, it repeated the same rejection he felt from his parents and friends years ago.

The best path forward for him is to find a therapist who specializes in male survivors, like resources at 1in6.org. His wife, if she truly regrets her words, would need to take full accountability and perhaps join him in counseling.

Healing requires honesty, empathy, and time. For anyone in crisis, RAINN’s hotline (800-656-HOPE) is always available.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

People online rallied behind the husband. Many blasted the wife’s comment, calling it cruel and damaging. “Narcissist? 

nome5314 − Nta! You did something brave by opening up and she threw it back in your face. I'm sorry that you've faced such r__ection your whole life.

Unfortunately, that is all too common for men who have been s__ually assaulted. It's up to you to decide if you want her back but either way is valid.

eokelley − NTA! My mouth dropped when I read that… Completely uncalled for and utterly inappropriate. I’m incredibly sorry that happened to you.

I hope you’re able to find the closure, comfort, and support you need.

some_KindOfDisaster − NTA! ! not at all! I am sorry that you experienced such a traumatizing event and that your parents didn't believed you and made it even harder for...

No surprise that you suppress the memories and thoughts of it and no surprise that it comes up occasionally with or without specific triggers.

You deserve someone who support AND believe you.

Your wife is not doing so and how can you open up to someone who made clear that she didn't believe you.

How shall you process everything when your closest persons don't believe you? You deserve better!

Others reminded him that survivors deserve partners who listen, not ones who use their trauma as a weapon. 

DaniCapsFan − My heart aches for you. Being s__ually abused is bad enough, but that nobody believed you and either mocked you or punished you for telling what happened is...

And I was going to suggest therapy but I looked at your post again and saw that it didn't do much for you.

Maybe a rape crisis center will be able to recommend a therapist who has experience with victims of CSA. What your wife said is appalling.

It seems you feel she doesn't love you since your revelation and isn't on your side. That's reason enough to want to leave her. NTA

Unlucky_Addendum3425 − NTA Also I wouldn’t call what you did trauma dumping…you opened up to your wife. You’re supposed to support each other.

I’m sure she was probably shocked, would explain some of her lack of empathy? But to call you a liar and a narcissist? No. You’ve spent enough time being invalidated...

synchrohighway − NTA. You don't need a real "reason" to end a marriage since it's a voluntary commitment,

but having a partner that doesn't think you're worthy of being believed is a great one. Sorry she's being so awful.

The community offered support, reminding him that breaking his silence was an act of strength, not shame.

FairyPenguinStKilda − NTA . Take care, healing does happen. It is really difficult to have healthy relationships when your trust was betrayed in such an intimate way.

There are communities of male survivors on line, and many men who speak publicly. Perry Power, Mx Domestic are two I can think of

Imaginary-Yak-6487 − NTA. Therapy. I’m a csa survivor. I’m a woman I told my ex husband about some of it after a trauma response to something he was attempting to...

I wasn’t comfortable & didn’t think I could. He seemed to be understanding. One night after he had been drinking heavily, he tried to do this again & I said...

He said why not, I’m not the one who r@ped you so don’t take your b__lshit out on me by denying me. He assaulted me & did it anyway.

Did y’all know that back in the late 80’s there was no laws on the books about martial rape until 1993? Bc you couldn’t rape your wife back then? He’s...

She needs to be an ex for a reason as well. I wish you the best.

Every_Macaroon5694 − NTA. I'm a woman, and her reaction is disgusting.

Take care of yourself and maybe change your therapists. I would just like to add this: I believe you and it's not your fault. Absolutely not. Never.

Sebscreen − NTA. Leave her, she is a disgusting piece of trash who (just like your parents) would beat your son if he ever confided in her that he had...

I know women aren’t into that Aren't into what? Their partner trusting them enough to open up to them? My friend, MANY women are into that.

You're just with one whom will weaponise that against you because she is a terrible spouse and person.

When Truth Meets Betrayal

This story is heartbreaking. A husband finally opened up about years of abuse, only to have his own wife throw his pain back at him.

Her words may have destroyed the marriage, but they did not erase his bravery. By speaking up, he showed strength many never find.

Love should lift and protect, not cut deeper. In this case, his wife chose doubt over compassion. Now he faces a choice: try to rebuild with her through accountability and therapy, or walk away to protect his dignity and healing.

The lesson is clear, when someone shares their deepest pain, believe them. Listen. Hold them. Because doubt can break what love was meant to protect.

What about you? If your partner dismissed your trauma, would you stay and fight for healing, or would you walk away for your own peace?

 

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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