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Man Pretends to Be a Harvard Alum to Impress His Date – Ends Up Getting Schooled Instead

by Jeffrey Stone
October 7, 2025
in Social Issues

A 25-year-old woman, proud of her Harvard degree, met a man who claimed to be an alum from the same school. They connected instantly, sharing stories about campus life, favorite classes, and mutual professors.

Everything seemed perfect until she asked a simple question about his major  and his answer didn’t add up.

Moments later, the truth spilled out. He hadn’t graduated from Harvard at all. Instead, he’d completed a $6,000 online certificate from the university’s extension school, something open to the public and far from the full Ivy League experience.

What was supposed to be an honest chat turned into an uncomfortable confrontation, leaving both embarrassed and angry.

Not the actual photo
Not the actual photo

A Coffee Date’s Credential Catastrophe – Here’s The Original Post:

AITA for telling my date that he shouldn’t call himself a Harvard alumnus?

So I (25F) matched with a guy who had "Harvard Alum" in his bio. There aren't too many of those in my small midwestern city so I suggested that we...

The date started off wonderfully. We had many shared interests and spent a good 30 mins talking about them.

I started talking about my amazing undergraduate experience at Harvard and asked him what he concentrated in. He gave me a blank stare.

After a moment he said “Oh, I finished a web dev certificate from the extension program.”

After some googling, I discovered that anyone can finish the web dev certificate by paying a $6000 fee and taking three online courses.

I then asked him “Why are you calling yourself a Harvard alumnus? When people hear ‘Bobby went to Harvard’ they assume that

Bobby has an actual degree from Harvard, not some certificate that holds no real weight.”

Anyway, my date got up and left, but not before the he said "This is why most people can't stand people like you."

I've gone over our conversation multiple times yet I can't see where I said anything wrong.

The Discovery

The woman quietly searched his name on her phone while he talked. Within seconds, she found the truth online.

When she asked him directly why he’d said he was an alum, he grew defensive, claiming she was being judgmental. His final words before leaving the café were sharp: “Snobs like you suck.”

The awkward exit left her wondering whether she’d overreacted or if he had crossed a line. Was it wrong to call out a small exaggeration, or was she right to demand honesty?

The Fallout

The situation quickly turned from a casual date to a lesson in pride and perception. He wanted to seem impressive, while she wanted genuine honesty.

What made it sting wasn’t just the lie but the reason behind it, the pressure people feel to look successful, especially in online dating.

When people exaggerate credentials, it’s often about insecurity, not malice. Yet, even small lies can destroy trust before it has a chance to grow.

Expert Analysis

Relationship therapist Esther Perel once said, “Authenticity isn’t armor; it’s attraction.” Her point fits perfectly here. When someone builds a connection on half-truths, it can’t last.

Perel’s work shows that people often lie not to hurt others, but to protect how they want to be seen. Unfortunately, that protection backfires.

According to a 2023 Hinge dating trends report, around 57% of singles admit to exaggerating details about their careers, education, or lifestyle to appear more appealing.

However, when those lies are discovered, ghosting rates jump by 31%. Honesty might not always impress instantly, but it’s what keeps conversations and connections, alive.

Why People Exaggerate

There’s real social pressure to stand out. A degree, a high-status job, or a big achievement can make people feel more valuable in dating apps that often judge in seconds.

The man in this story likely wanted to impress, to seem equal to her. But that false confidence came at the cost of trust.

Experts suggest that people who exaggerate credentials are chasing validation instead of connection. It’s a reminder that genuine curiosity, humor, or kindness create stronger attraction than a fake title ever could.

What Could Have Been Done Differently

The confrontation didn’t need to explode. A calmer question might have softened the tension: “Oh, you did the extension program?

That’s still great, what made you choose it?” That kind of response encourages honesty without shame.

On the other side, he could have owned his truth. The Harvard Extension School offers legitimate learning opportunities.

Being upfront might have even sparked a more interesting conversation about lifelong education and personal growth.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some supported her for calling him out, saying honesty matters from the start. 

sunfloweries − After a moment he said “Oh, I finished a web dev certificate from the extension program.”

After some googling, I discovered that anyone can finish the web dev certificate by paying a $6000 fee and taking three online courses. I then asked him babe, what.

You seriously sat across from this person and googled this s__t while he was sitting across from you! ??!

LittleFeltSpock − ESH but frankly iconic on both sides. Love the lying. Love looking the guy's lie up right in front of him.

You two would be really fun to watch in a sitcom, I don't want to know either of you irl. Edit because I didn't expect this to gain traction but...

OP is an AH not for googling it (although you're on a date so if you want to know more about the person's certificate program, just ask), but for belittling...

He shouldn't have lied, but telling him his certificate carries no real weight after a quick Google search is really really mean. !< !

Telling him "I'm not sure if that makes you an alumn" and changing the subject is normal. Telling him that and leaving is fine. Telling him that his certificate is...

iopele − NTA. He wasn't exactly lying but he sure was exaggerating and you just pointed it out.

Like, I was injured in Navy boot camp and got medically discharged back when I was 18, and it would be like me calling myself a Navy vet, which I...

Others thought she was too harsh and should have let it go.

[Reddit User] − NTA, something very similar happened to me. Guy said in his bio that he studied at Cambridge (in the UK).

I studied there myself, so was trying to use that as a way to strike up a conversation, asked him in which college he studied etc.

He got very offended saying he only mentioned Cambridge University as a joke (?) and he didn't want to date a pretentious s__b like me. Okay, buddy 🤣

[Reddit User] − ESH. Technically he is a Harvard Extension School alumnus so he isn't necessarily wrong.

While not a Harvard College (central) degree holder, the extension school is indeed a part of Harvard and the courses are taught by Harvard faculty.

You can even earn a full degree through the extension school programs. They aren't solely certificate programs.

It's meant to encourage learning and make Harvard accessible to non-traditional students, first-gen, international, or even students that can't live in the area.

I work at Harvard which is why I know this. Your delivery may have come across quite harsh with the "no real weight" comment.

That was inaccurate and judgemental. You could have just said something like "Oh okay the extension school.

I mistook that for Harvard College which is where I did my undergrad. Can you tell me more about what the extension school experience is like?"

That way you wouldn't be putting him down but instead getting to know him better. You don't know his life situation.

Perhaps he couldn't afford to go to undergrad. Not everyone has the privilege. Edited for a typo.

A few noted that dating culture itself encourages people to stretch the truth, but being authentic is what ultimately builds real respect.

Born_Rabbit_7577 − NTA. He clearly misrepresented himself in his bio with the intent to make himself look better and get more matches.

You were misled by this into choosing to meet up with him (you might be a bit snobby for caring about it) and I see why you'd be bothered, who...

You might have been a bit harsh in how you called him out, but he deserved to be called out for this type of behavior.

Mehitabel9 − ESH. Lying about a college degree (which is what this guy is doing) is extremely uncool.

However you lost me at the part where you started googling his program while still on the date with him. Why did you feel it necessary to do that?

Also, there is no s__b on the planet like a Harvard s__b, so you might want to tone that ish down a bit. That is what your date was referring...

Dr007Bond − NTA. He is not a Harvard Alumnus, but rather holder of a special certificate from a single Harvard EXTENSION course.

You called him out on his BS and he did not like it. My guess is that he thought throwing around "Harvard Alumnus" in his bio

(assuming it's an OLD profile) would get him more dates and impress the local population.

Someone will fall for his lies, but not you! You'd nothing wrong. Good luck finding a better person to date OP.

hermesorherpes − NTA. He’s a pretentious jerk for putting Harvard alumnus in his dating profile

. Anyone who actually went to Harvard knows that the proper phrase is “I went to school in Boston. ”

[Reddit User] − ESH. He’s dishonest, you’re elitist. Everyone sucks.

The Real Lesson

In the end, this wasn’t about Harvard or degrees. It was about how people present themselves in a world built on profiles and appearances. The moment you start pretending, the relationship becomes an act instead of a connection.

Being proud of who you are not who you wish to be, might not impress everyone, but it will attract the right ones. The coffee may have gone cold, but the lesson stayed warm: truth always tastes better than pretense.

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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