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Her Husband Told Everyone She Was Pregnant – Then Got Angry When His Dad Did the Same Thing to Him

by Jeffrey Stone
October 8, 2025
in Social Issues

Pregnancy announcements are supposed to be magical moments, private, joyful, and deeply personal. For one expecting mom, though, that moment was stolen. When she found out she was pregnant with her second child, she asked her husband to keep it quiet for a while.

She wanted time to process the surprise, to make sure everything was okay before sharing the news. But her husband couldn’t hold it in. Overflowing with excitement, he told family and friends almost immediately, breaking the one promise that mattered most to her.

What followed was a mix of anger, disappointment, and hurt. The wife felt betrayed, her trust shattered by someone she thought would protect her boundaries.

Then, when her husband’s father later demanded to know details that she wanted private, the husband became frustrated, suddenly upset about his own privacy being invaded.

That’s when she reminded him, “Now you know how it feels.” Instead of understanding, he accused her of being insensitive, turning what should’ve been a beautiful time in their lives into a tense silence filled with unspoken resentment.

Her Husband Told Everyone She Was Pregnant - Then Got Angry When His Dad Did the Same Thing to Him
Not the actual photo

A Wife’s Boundary Breach Sparks a Hypocrisy Hubbub

AITAH for offering no sympathy to my husband when his dad crossed a boundary?

I'm currently pregnant with my second child. I found out three days before Christmas, and told my husband the following day.

He was pleased as punch... myself, excited but more than a little nervous. Big mixed bag of feelings.

For this and other reasons, I asked my husband if we could keep the news between us for a while and let me process/adjust to this new reality before sharing...

His response... "I'm so excited - can I just tell Work Friend?"

I repeated that I would prefer to keep it between us for now, at least to get through the holidays without all the focus on us.

Fewer than ten minutes later he says "Work Friend is super happy for us! And I told Other Friend, she says congratulations."

I let him know I was disappointed and I thought his behavior was super disrespectful and s__tty, but whatever, it's out of my hands now. He assured me that he...

Fast forward through the weeks following Christmas, during which he pestered and pressured me to tell his family members before I was ready.

Again, we had his parents casually over for coffee one night and he "let it slip" without my consent because he's "just so excited".. Repeat this process with a few...

For whatever reason, he hasn't yet "let it slip" to his paternal grandparents.

Because of this, his dad has been pressuring him to call them. Today, his dad gave him an ultimatum: he would say something before the end of the day if...

Husband comes home in a super disagreeable mood and proceeds to vent to me about his dad's total lack of consideration and how angry he is over this ultimatum.

I calmly listen to him, and I agree, it's not a nice thing to do. It's not his dad's news to share. It IS inconsiderate.

But this is where maybe I'm the a__hole - "I love you, but does this maybe give you some context for how it felt when you did the same thing...

He then gets even angrier and tells me that it's not the same situation at all, criticizes me for making it about myself, says I have a victim mindset, he...

I then also blew up at him, defending myself, and we've hardly spoken for the rest of the night.

I can't wrap my head around him wanting sympathy from me after repeatedly hurting me with almost the same behavior.

but is it not the same situation? Is he right? Should I have put my own resentment aside to help him feel better? DID I selfishly make it about me?

Maybe he would have made the connection without me pointing it out, or maybe he would have been more receptive if I just gave him a hug and let him...

I don't think so... I'm still livid. But please tell me what you think, outside observer.

When Excitement Crosses Emotional Lines

It’s easy to understand the husband’s side, he was thrilled about the baby and wanted to share his joy. But excitement doesn’t erase the need for respect.

For many women, pregnancy isn’t just happy news; it’s a deeply personal experience involving their body, emotions, and health.

Sharing that news before she’s ready can feel like losing control of something sacred. In this case, her husband’s enthusiasm overshadowed her need for emotional space, creating a wound that a simple “sorry” couldn’t fix.

When his father pushed for details, and he suddenly felt his own boundaries being crossed, he finally got a glimpse of her pain. But instead of connecting the dots, he reacted defensively, an all-too-common mistake when ego gets in the way of empathy.

What Experts Say About Relationship Boundaries

Relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight, notes:

“Trust is built in moments of respect. When one partner says, ‘please wait,’ and the other rushes ahead.”

Johnson explains that moments like this can chip away at intimacy. When one person feels unheard, it sends a message that their comfort isn’t as important.

Even if the intent wasn’t cruel, the impact still hurts. Healthy couples talk through these boundaries before big news breaks, deciding together when and how to share it.

The Hidden Pain Behind “I Just Couldn’t Wait to Tell”

The phrase sounds harmless, sweet, even. But behind it often lies a deeper pattern: excitement that forgets empathy. For the wife, the issue wasn’t about attention or control; it was about trust.

She carried the baby, felt every change, and needed time to feel grounded before letting others in.

Her husband’s later frustration with his father mirrored exactly what she went through. Yet instead of realizing the connection, he saw himself as the victim.

That’s the true heartbreak: when partners stop seeing each other’s pain and focus only on their own.

How Common Are These Conflicts?

You’d be surprised. A 2023 Journal of Family Psychology study found that nearly one in three couples argue about when to share pregnancy news, especially with family members.

The study showed that premature announcements can lead to resentment and lower relationship satisfaction in early pregnancy. In today’s world of instant sharing and social media posts, it’s easy for personal boundaries to get lost in the rush to celebrate.

Experts agree that communication is key. The more couples talk openly about timing, comfort levels, and emotional needs, the less likely they are to face these painful misunderstandings.

How They Could Have Handled It Better

This couple’s argument could’ve gone differently. If the husband had paused before speaking, asking, “Are you ready to tell people yet?” it would’ve shown respect and partnership.

And when his father later pushed for details, he could’ve calmly said, “We’ll share when we’re both ready.” That small act would have honored both his wife’s feelings and his own boundaries.

On the wife’s side, her “now you know my pain” response came from hurt, not malice. But turning pain into a learning moment works best when it’s done with patience, not payback

. Instead of tension, she could’ve said, “That’s exactly what it felt like for me when you told people.” Sometimes, gentle truth lands better than a sharp one.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Readers were quick to pick sides. 

IllustratorBubbly224 − NTA. Your husband is a h__ocrite. He did the exact same thing to you, and now he's shocked when his dad does it to him?

He needs to learn to respect your boundaries, just like you had to learn to respect his. You're not being selfish. You're allowed to be upset.

endor-pancakes − NTA, and your husband is more than a little self centered for not realizing he's TA here. Those situations are pretty similar, and if there are any differences,...

E. g. you could argue that the trust within a relationship (especially if you're expecting a child) is more important, so it's even shittier when that's broken. Repeatedly. God he's...

stolenfires − Criticizes you for. .. making your pregnancy. .. about yourself? ! Did I f__king read that correctly?

NTA and I seriously hope this is just a brain fart on his part and not part of a pattern of how he treats you and your feelings.

Many sympathized with the wife: 

Kittytigris − NTA. I would have said, ‘I guess you learned it from him. He ignores boundaries just like you. You should know what to do since you repeatedly do...

mtngrl60 − NTA. Yes, the two of you are going to have a child. But the two of you are not pregnant.

If something happens and you don’t get to carry this child to term, nobody is going to come up to your husband

or talk behind his back about how maybe he did something wrong or had a drink of alcohol or is defective because he couldn’t carry a pregnancy to term.

If something happens with this pregnancy, his body is not going to go through a f__k ton of hormones running amok in his system.

He is not going to be in his own head, wondering what went wrong or if there was something he could’ve done differently.

Which is interesting because they are finding that quite often with miscarriages, the problem was with the sperm, not the egg. And not the carrier.

But that’s beside the point. If something happens with this pregnancy, nobody’s going to question his choices or actions for the last nine months.

Nobody is going to make backhanded comments about how maybe if this or maybe if that, the outcome would’ve been different. Frankly, now you know.

If you stay with this jerk in the long-term and have more kids with him, don’t tell him you’re pregnant until you’re ready to have other people know. He wants...

He wants to bask in it all while he f__king does nothing but contribute for 30 seconds. Everything else…

And I mean literally every tiny piece of this pregnancy is on you and your body. You are pregnant. Not him. And he doesn’t give a s__t about any of...

He doesn’t put himself in your shoes at all. But by God when somebody steps on his toes, he screams to the high heavens. He is a hypocritical a__hole.

And I really hope you show him this post. Because again, the two of you are going to have a baby. YOU are the one who is pregnant.

What you say about the pregnancy is what should happen. Because for better or for worse, however this pregnancy goes or whatever happens with the birth or God forbid if...

YOU’RE the one that everyone’s going to come to. Not him.   He’s going to get condolences or sympathy, etc. You’re going to get questions. Your every move.

Your every intake of food. You going to the gym. You continuing to run. You not getting enough rest.

You whatever the f__k somebody can come up with. My hope is that you have an uneventful pregnancy and a good birth. But all of us women know there are...

And just like with parenting, we get the f__king blame for everything while dad gets patted on the back for changing a diaper.

It’s pretty disgusting, and the fact that he can’t see it really concerns me as far as you parenting with this man. He seems like a big baby. Delayed gratification...

And given his father’s ultimatum, I see where he gets it.

Some even pointed out the irony:

kmflushing − Tell your husband he IS his father. Exactly. NTA.

grayblue_grrl − It's a shame that you are married and have children with this child. He's the centre of the universe and only his feelings matter.

"Also His response. .. "I'm so excited - can I just tell Work Friend?" I repeated that I would prefer to keep it between us for now,"

With children you have to be much more specific. "NO. Do not tell anyone.

"Nothing soft and fuzzy with any wiggle room. And then. . when they do it. "I told you no. No means no. I am so disappointed. I thought you could...

eowynsheiress − NTA. You are correct. He is a man baby. You should be even more angry than the initial betrayal

because he clearly hates it being done to him but is fine with doing the same thing to you. Reconsider marriage and pregnancy.

HUNGWHITEBOI25 − Soo i’m sorry let me get this straight: you tell your husband not to tell people because you weren’t ready and didn’t want a bunch of people knowing,

then after he ignores you and tells a bunch of people, his father want to tell a bunch of people even though your husband doesn’t want to and now he...

No NTA your husband is a complete h__ocrite and quite frankly sounds like a complete a__hole…

chubeebear − NTA. But I would look really hard at your FIL's behavior because this is who your husband learned it from. So might be time to start keeping things...

Final Thoughts

The husband’s excitement came from love, but love without listening can cause damage. The wife’s reaction came from hurt, but hurt without healing can grow into resentment. Together, they learned that excitement should never outshine empathy.

Pregnancy is a journey that tests patience, trust, and teamwork. And if there’s one takeaway from this emotional clash, it’s this: secrets may spill, but trust takes time to rebuild.

Because when love honors boundaries, every reveal becomes worth the wait.

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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