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A Man Discovers His Children Knew About Their Mother’s Affair – Now They’re Getting Nothing!

by Jeffrey Stone
October 15, 2025
in Social Issues

It’s hard to imagine anything more painful than discovering your spouse’s betrayal, except maybe finding out your own children knew and kept it from you.

That’s what happened to a 60-year-old man who, after learning his kids had hidden their mother’s affair, made a heartbreaking decision.

He cut them out of his will and chose to leave everything, his business, his home, and his savings, to his 16-year-old stepson instead.

A Man Discovers His Children Knew About Their Mother’s Affair - Now They’re Getting Nothing!
Not the actual photo

A Will Rewrite: Bio Kids Cut Out for Stepson After Affair Betrayal!

AITAH for cutting my biological children out of my will and instead giving it to my stepson?

I (60m) know that title probably caught a lot of you but it really isn't what it seems

This entire situation has been agonizing for me, both physically and mentally.

I don't even know where to start, I guess I'll try and be as succinct as possible so as to not bore anyone with the details

So I've been married for 2 years to my wife Jen (58F), with whom I am raising her son (16M) with.

Man, words can't describe how much I love that kid. I treat him fully as my own.

He's such a nice boy, and I'm proud to say he gets on with me very well.

I also have two children from a previous marriage (30M and 27F) from my now ex wife (60F).

Long story short, I've cut my bio son (30M) and daughter (27F) out of my will. They are to inherit nothing.

I run a rather successful business and own a few houses which are worth a lot. I had always intended to pass that on to them.

The business to my son and the houses split between my son and daughter.

I know it's a bit m__bid, because there's nothing really wrong with me health wise, but I've always been open with that to them.

To be honest, they both had a spoiled upbringing so they had a head start in life. Which is the complete opposite of how I grew up

Now if we wind the clocks back some 5 or so years ago, I was married to my now ex-wife.

We had been married for 35 years! We did have our ups and downs, like any other marriage, but there was never any infidelity or anything.

Well long story short, I ended up coming home to find her in bed with another man.

Of all the ways to find out your spouse is cheating on you, that was the one I did not expect.

Not because of how disrespectful it was, because at that point, respect is out the window. But because of how stupid it was..

I did a lot of late work at my office during that time, but surely they weren't that stupid?

At that moment I was seething in rage and had to restrain myself from beating the s__t out of that guy

I ended up divorcing her and keeping my distance from her. I needed a lot of therapy and support to get through that.

My relationship with my bio kids was still great and they understood what I was going through, or so I thought.

It was only recently that when I went for a drink with my daughter, that she was all of a sudden quiet and not like her usual self.

I asked her what was wrong and she said she was scared to tell me. I calmly re-assured her that everything would be okay.

She then proceeded to spill her guts and say that she and her brother knew about their mother's affair but that their mother had begged them not to tell me...

My son ended up agreeing with his mother and convinced my daughter that this would be best

So they knew their mother was having an affair but were afraid to tell me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

I asked her wasn't she and her brother angry at what their mother had done, and she said she was, but that they ''couldn't cope with this''

and that ''it wasn't their place'' to get involved. Well by not telling me, they had involved themselves

I later had to confront my son over this. He hit me with the ''it was to protect you'' shtick.

At that point I felt very empty and cold inside. He began apologizing too but by that point, I think I had enough

I had come to terms with the fact that my bio kids are fully grown adults now and that this is how they've chosen to be.

I'm not going to fully go no contact with my own kids, I can't bring myself to do that. But I don't want much of a relationship with them either.

I had a sit down with them both and informed them that I'd cut them out of my will, and that step son would be inheriting much of what they...

This lead them to have outbursts of which I myself didn't even experience when I caught their mother cheating.

They accused me of being heartless and cruel, and how can I love my stepson more than them when ''he's not even really my kid''.

I told them both ''he's more of my own than either of you'' and left

My stepson is very bright and I am sure he could one day take over my business.

He could pick any of the houses I own to raise his family with too, and do what he wants with the rest of the properties.

My ex has been sending me messages calling me heartless too. I have to admit, I have thought whether I went too far on this. AITAH?

The Past That Broke Everything

Five years ago, he discovered that his wife of 35 years had been cheating on him. The truth destroyed him.

He filed for divorce and spent years in therapy trying to rebuild his life. It wasn’t easy, but with time, things started to heal.

He stayed close with his two adult children, his son, now 30, and his daughter, 27. They supported him through the divorce, or so he thought.

They would visit on weekends, share meals, and talk about their own lives. He thought they had all survived the storm together.

Then, one day, his daughter came to him in tears. She confessed that she and her brother had known about their mother’s affair the entire time.

They had found out years before he did but stayed silent because their mother begged them not to tell him. She said they were trying to “protect” him.

But to him, that confession felt like a knife to the heart.

The Betrayal That Changed Everything

The moment his daughter told him, everything shifted. He couldn’t stop thinking about all the dinners, holidays, and conversations they’d shared while they kept this secret.

His son admitted it too, saying he hadn’t known what to do. But their father saw it differently, it wasn’t just confusion; it was betrayal.

He told them both how much it hurt to know that his own children had sided with their mother, even if they thought it was for the right reasons. T

hey apologized, but the damage was done. He said he couldn’t look at them the same way anymore.

That night, he went home and began rewriting his will. He took out both his biological children and replaced them with his stepson, the teenage boy from his current marriage, who had been kind, respectful, and loving toward him since the day they met.

Why He Chose His Stepson

He didn’t make the choice out of spite, at least not entirely. In his mind, the stepson had shown him more honesty and loyalty in two years than his own kids had in a lifetime.

The boy helped around the house, joined him on fishing trips, and showed genuine care.

When he signed the new will, he said he felt at peace for the first time in years. But peace didn’t last long.

Once his children found out, the fallout was explosive. His ex-wife called him cruel and heartless. His daughter begged him to reconsider, saying she’d confessed because she couldn’t live with the guilt anymore.

His son accused him of overreacting and said the will was revenge disguised as fairness. But the father stood firm. He said trust, once broken, couldn’t simply be written back into a will.

The Bigger Picture

Family loyalty can get messy after a divorce. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that almost 40% of adult children feel trapped between divorced parents.

For his kids, telling the truth might have meant losing their mother’s trust. But for their father, silence felt like betrayal.

It’s easy to say what someone should have done, but in real life, emotions aren’t so simple.

He didn’t just lose his wife, he lost faith in his family. Rewriting the will wasn’t just about money; it was his way of reclaiming control after years of heartbreak.

What Experts Say

Psychologist Dr. Joshua Coleman, who studies family estrangement, wrote that “disinheriting children often feels like justice, but it can deepen emotional wounds beyond repair.”

He’s right. This man’s choice may bring temporary relief, but it risks a lifetime of distance.

There’s another path, one that involves forgiveness and conversation.

Family mediators say that sometimes, children who keep painful secrets aren’t protecting the liar, they’re protecting themselves from conflict they’re too young to handle.

His kids were barely adults when the affair happened. Their silence might not have been cruelty, but fear.

If he ever wants peace with them again, therapy or a family session could help bridge the gap. It wouldn’t erase the betrayal, but it could help everyone understand why it happened.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

BK5617 − This is a tough one. On the one hand, I understand how you feel.

It has to feel like your children were complicit in the affair and helped their mother to break your trust.

In reality, they did. I could see being absolutely livid on learning this new info.

On the other hand, even though they were adults at the time, they were young adults.

Young enough still that their mother likely still had a lot of pull on their decision.

Your daughter especially seems to regret her decision not to tell you.

It sounds like it has never sat well with her, and a little age and maturity have made her come to a different understanding.

She could have taken this to her grave, and you wouldn't be the wiser.

Instead, she came to you to tell the truth even though she knew there would be fallout.

Not only from you, but from her mother and brother who convinced her to keep the secret.

That she was willing to do the right thing even knowing it would cost her says a lot for her character, as well as her level of respect for you.

I'm not defending her initial actions. There is no defense for that.

But maybe she deserves a little grace for coming clean in the end, when there was nothing to gain and everything to lose.

Enough for, at least, a more in-depth conversation once the shock and anger have faded.

New-Comment2668 − What an ugly situation. When I was 19 years old, I found out my mother was having an affair. I told my stepdad about the affair.

He confronted my mother; my mother lied and told him I was just trying to stir up trouble.

I was thrown out of their house and ended up living in a homeless shelter for almost a month,

before one of my friends found out, and her parents let me live with them for 6 months while I worked and saved up to move into an apartment.

During the month I lived in the homeless shelter, my stepdad found out I was telling the truth when my mother took off with her affair partner.

He never apologized to me, he never invited me to move home,

he didn't care that the child he raised from the age of 5 was living in a homeless shelter for telling the truth.

For a long time, I wished that I had just kept my mouth shut about her affair.

As an adult, I have not spoken to my mother or stepfather in over 20 years (he took her back about 3 years later).

As an adult, I know that I made the correct decision in telling my stepfather about the affair, no matter what it cost me

(and believe me, living in a homeless shelter for almost a month haunts me to this day and affects every financial decision I make!).

Having said that, I DO believe that your children should have told you about the affair.

I also understand why they didn't. I do believe that your daughter deserves some grace, because she did tell you the truth

when it would have been easier to keep her mouth shut. I also understand OP's feelings of utter betrayal.

I guess in summary, I would just say that I think therapy will help you work through your feelings of betrayal,

and hopefully can put you on a path where you can gain some perspective into the situation.

One final note, your cheating ex-wife calling you heartless? She can go kick rocks barefoot.

Ok-Control2520 − As a child of divorced parents, both of whom used me as a pawn in their games. I can tell you that it puts the kids,

no matter what their age, in the middle of it, in a very uncomfortable way.

I was only 11 when my Dad told me to keep a secret from my Mom, who of course found out.

I was blamed for keeping the secret - even though I was the one who spilled the beans so I actually did NOT keep the secret.

Your daughter was asked to keep the secret. She felt it was wrong and came clean, to you directly. That should count for something.

Yellow_daisy1111 − I had a similar experience OP. Not exactly the same but enough that I feel like my thought process may help here. In the end, my kids felt...

Either way, they were screwed by my ex putting them in the middle. I was devastatingly hurt and felt betrayed by them. Something I never thought I would experience.

My kids and I were incredibly close. How could they choose to keep secrets from me to help their father? After a few months, I decided to let it go.

They were manipulated by my ex. Frankly, he had been doing that to me for years. How could I blame young adults for falling for the same s__t I did?

Also, ex had taken so much from me. I was damned if he was going to destroy my relationship with my kids too. I won’t pretend it wasn’t hard to...

Reading your post reminds me of those feelings, but I am so glad I moved on. I love my kids. I won’t give them up over a mistake.

nevermindstupid − I have to ask, would your stepson act the same way towards his mother if he was in the same position?

Probably, yes. You have known him for 2 years, but you have known your kids for 35 years. Just some food for thought.

At the end of the day, it is yours to decide what you would like to do with it, but it sounds like you want to further punish your ex...

Niouke − It's impossible for a kid, adult or not, to take the initiative in breaking up the household in pieces.

MY brother was in a similar situation, didn't spill the beans, and I for one will not judge him for that.

MentionGood1633 − Ask yourself this honestly: if your current wife were to cheat, what would your stepson do?

Where would his loyalty be? I get that you are hurt and betrayed,

but you are also using your assets to wield punishment, possibly to manipulate everyone around you.

Educational_Gas_92 − YTA Hate your ex wife all you want, but your children were caught

between a rock and a hard place and all the blame lays with your ex wife, not your children. Are you mentally well?

For how long have you known this new wife and stepson? You think he would side with you if his mother were to cheat on you? (Lmao).

If you want to include him in your will, do so, but cutting your children off is extremely cruel,

especially in the much more difficult world we live in now (it was much better, at least to build yourself up financially, 30-40 years ago).

Your children were damned if they did and damned if they didn't, as in one case they would loose their mother

and in the other they would loose their father (as you have proven in this post).

All you showed, was that your daughter was wrong to be sincere with you and that you are unforgiving

(even to people who were unwilling spectators) and that you lack emotional intelligence.

Your money is yours, and you can do what you want with it, but maintaining a relationship with your bio children if you disown them is insincere.

[Reddit User] − How wonderful to punish your children of a marriage of 30 plus years

who were put in an impossible position, and reward the new wife and child of barely two years!

They conveniently walked into that goldmine. Be prepared to never have a relationship with them or any grandchildren for the rest of your life.

While your anger has validation, the only person who it has validation towards is your ex and her putting them in that position. YTA

FiFi_Green − YTA. Not for cutting your kids out of your will, that’s your choice,

but you are deliberately being petty and giving it all to a boy you’ve know for about two years.

Your ex put your kids in an impossible situation, she should get the blame for that, not your children.

Also why was the son getting the business and homes when the sister was just getting part of the homes?

Didn’t sound equitable as it was and it certainly isn’t now. You can do whatever you want with your money but you’re still an AH.

 

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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