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HOA Bans Pride Flag, So Homeowner Followed The Rules, Just Louder

by Layla Bui
October 15, 2025
in Social Issues

Sometimes, following the rules can be the perfect form of rebellion. When a homeowners’ association banned every flag except the U.S. one, one household quietly rolled up their Pride flag then came up with a more dazzling idea.

Instead of fighting the decision, they played along… sort of. By the next evening, their home was glowing in rainbow light, a beautiful display that said everything without breaking a single rule. It was a masterclass in peaceful defiance, showing that sometimes, creativity speaks louder than confrontation.

A couple, forced by their HOA to remove their Pride flag, complied but used six colored floodlights to wash their house in vibrant Pride colors

HOA Bans Pride Flag, So Homeowner Followed The Rules, Just Louder
not the actual photo

'HOA won’t let us fly our modest Pride flag, so we just follow the rules?'

Due to some neighbors flying BLM flags, Thin blue line flags, and other opinion flags,

our HOA decided last month that we’re only allowed to fly the USA flag, and nothing else.

They day after the decision, we receive an email that someone reported our Pride flag (that we had in our house since 2016),

and that we needed to take it down. We complied and removed the flag.

Looking through our new rules, we noticed that removable lights are permitted without restriction

so... we bought 6 colored flood lights, and we washed our house in pride colors.

A little less subtle than our simple flag. A lot more fun for anyone complaining about the flag itself and what it represents.

If you’re interested, here’s the house now:

HOA Bans Pride Flag, So Homeowner Followed The Rules, Just Louder
memonf

Edit to point out that the flag was displayed on the front porch, not inside the house. It was a typo when I wrote “we had in our house...”)

SECOND EDIT: THIS GOT MORE ATTENTION THAN I WAS EXPECTING. JUST CLARIFYING THAT I DON’T HATE MY HOA,

I DON’T THINK THEY CHANGE THE FLAG RULE TO ATTACK ME PERSONALLY,

AND THAT I DECIDED TO DO THIS TO SHOW MY INDIVIDUALITY WHILE STILL FOLLOWING THE RULES.

I just can’t keep up with the comments. Thank you all for your amazing support!!

This clever act of “lawful resistance” taps into a deep psychological truth: when people feel silenced, they often find alternative ways to express themselves.

Psychologist Dr. Leon Seltzer wrote in Psychology Today that “when self-expression is blocked, individuals often respond with symbolic rebellion, acts that restore autonomy while technically respecting authority.”

HOAs often walk a fine line between maintaining order and suppressing individuality.

A 2022 survey by the Foundation for Community Association Research found that over 66% of HOA disputes stem from disagreements about personal expression, including flags, decorations, and landscaping. These micro-conflicts reveal how governance structures can unintentionally create resentment by prioritizing uniformity over inclusivity.

According to Verywell Mind, this dynamic is rooted in reactance theory, which suggests that people experience psychological discomfort when their freedoms are restricted, motivating them to restore that freedom, sometimes in exaggerated ways.

In this case, the homeowner didn’t defy the HOA directly; they simply illuminated their protest, transforming compliance into celebration.

Experts also note the importance of symbolic visibility for marginalized groups. LGBTQ+ psychologist Dr. Meg John Barker explains that public displays of pride aren’t just decoration, they’re “acts of belonging in spaces where silence once reigned.”

The Redditor’s light display wasn’t rebellion for rebellion’s sake; it was a radiant assertion of identity, safety, and community spirit.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit users praised the lights as “even better than the flag”

sucobe − OP please report back when HOA tries to pass new flood light rules.

tpyourself − Whoa. The lighting is much better than a simple flag imo

While this commenter shared their own tale of HOA battles and legal comebacks

Pyreknight − HOA tried to bust my balls so many times over the years, until one time they sent pictures of a branch in a g__ter over my kids window.

I attended the next he meeting and highlighted my son was in the shot. (Barely mind you.)

Everyone gasped and I informed them if anyone else sent the same photo type, I'd have them arrested for peeping tom charges for starters.

They countered but before they could complete the sentence, the cop in the neighborhood chimed in, along with a lawyer.

Never had another letter with pictures after that. Edit: didn't expect all this feedback. Cool beans. Thanks guys.

This user offered an interesting tip

Captjimmyjames − FYI, if you haven't already been told, they can not forbid you from flying flags from the armed services.

It's actually law. I learned this when I was the president of my HOA. So I say go get a large service flag and fly it, just to get then...

When they lose that fight they may just say s__ew it and give up on the flag issue.

Love the compliance though. Never remove the lights, they're fabulous.

EDIT: Apparently, this varies by state. Check your state laws. I'm no lawyer... I'm just throwing out another way to s__ew with them.

Others, like CheeseCarbsAndSass and GISP, discussed the bigger picture: whether banning all flags was a fair compromise to avoid conflict or an overreach that stifles expression

GISP − Doesn't changing HOA rules require a meeting with all the HOA members and for the rules to be voted on?

CheeseCarbsAndSass − I don’t AGREE with taking down pride flags but if the only way

to remove confederate flags is to ban all other flags except US I’m a little okay with it.

[Reddit User] − I never understood why HOAs seem to be this common in the US.

The first thing I really gonna do when I buy my first house is to vote for some new guy to be my glorified new landlord,

so I can continue living by someone else's rule just like I would in an apartment

(likely worse, most landlords care mostly about rent and an apartment doesn't leave much in terms of self expression to be seen from the outside).

[Reddit User] − What happens when everyone does the same with their flag colors? Back to square one.

ForkMasterPlus − I mean... at least the HOA took a neutral stance on the issue just banning all flags outright? Seems better than most other HOAs I read about

Meanwhile, one folk couldn’t help but laugh at the idea of someone “reporting” a flag visible from inside the house

AmethysstFire − They day after the decision, we received an email that someone reported our Pride flag (that we had in our house since 2016)

Wait! Hold up. Someone reported your pride flag inside your house? Light that whole neighborhood up!!!

In a world where rules often clash with personal freedom, this homeowner proved that compliance doesn’t have to mean silence. With a few bulbs and a dash of brilliance, they turned restriction into radiance, transforming their home into a symbol of both pride and wit.

Do you think this was the perfect way to stand up to an overreaching HOA, or did it go too far into pettiness territory? Either way, it’s proof that when creativity meets principle, even the darkest rulebook can’t dim the light.

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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