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Boyfriend Works From Home, Girlfriend Demands He Cleans, He Refuses, Triggers Heated Household Fight

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

Cohabitation can expose both partners’ characteristics. Especially when it comes to splitting chores.

In this 29-year-old Redditor’s story, our man works from home, living with his office-going girlfriend, who insists he’s the default housekeeper. She assumes he would do all the cleaning, which he does not, ironically.

His refusal to wash her dinner plates has Reddit’s AITA buzzing. Is he shirking chores or fighting for fairness? It’s a spicy mix of love, labor, and clashing expectations.

Girlfriend expects boyfriend to do chores since he works from home, he does not, they fight.

Boyfriend Works From Home, Girlfriend Demands He Cleans, He Refuses, Triggers Heated Household Fight
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for telling my girlfriend I won't do all the cleaning just because I work from home?'

I (29m) work remotely full-time. My gf (28f) works at an office.

We recently moved in together, and suddenly she expects me to handle all the household chores because I'm already home all day.

I told her that working from home doesn't mean I'm free to vacuum, cook, and do laundry between meetings.

I already do my fair share, but she keeps saying it's not equal because she commutes.

Last week I refused to do the dishes she left after dinner, saying I wasn't going to be treated like her housekeeper.

She snapped that I was being selfish. AITA for refusing to do more chores just because I work from home?

Should the person who stays at home do more chores, even though that person is busy working from home?

Our Redditor’s fight with his girlfriend highlights a classic cohabitation conundrum: how do you split chores when one person’s home all day?

He’s adamant that working from home doesn’t mean he’s free to play maid, while she’s frustrated, citing her commute as a reason for him to step up. Both have valid points, but the tension’s thicker than gravy.

The guy’s juggling Zoom calls and deadlines, not lounging in pajamas. His girlfriend, meanwhile, faces the daily grind of commuting, which can drain anyone’s energy.

A 2023 study from the University of Reading found that long commutes increase stress and reduce life satisfaction, with commutes over 30 minutes linked to higher burnout rates.

If her commute’s a beast, her expectation for him to handle more chores isn’t totally wild. But assuming he’s got endless free time because he’s home? That’s a plot twist nobody signed up for.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman emphasizes communication as the cornerstone of fairness in partnerships. In a 2021 article, he notes, “Successful couples negotiate household tasks with mutual respect, ensuring neither feels like the hired help”.

Here, the couple’s missing that script. The guy’s refusal to wash dishes feels like a stand for equality, but it might read as petty if she’s cooking after a long day. Her snapping back, though, suggests she’s not hearing his side either.

Cohabitation often exposes clashing expectations about domestic roles. Modern couples increasingly split chores, but old-school assumptions like the person at home doing more persist.

A solution could be a chore chart, factoring in commute time and work stress. Maybe he preps dinner if her commute’s brutal, or they split tasks evenly after work hours.

Open dialogue, not ultimatums, is the key to keeping this love nest drama-free.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Members of the Reddit community suggest that fair chore division requires mutual discussion, considering commute and work-from-home flexibility.

[Reddit User] − NTA - To be honest, WFH can (job depending) afford some additional flexibility at home

like putting a load of washing on at lunch time etc. and there is obviously the fact that you're at home more so "dirtying" the house more.

So I do see that a partner who WFH might have that flexibility HOWEVER it has to be a conversation and agreement not a demand.

Since you just moved in together, it would appear you want the relationship to work

so sitting down and discussing fair division of labour is a normal part of those early living together niggles.

You going to the internet to prove you have done nothing wrong doesn't particularly solve the issue.

Nrysis − ESH It sounds like you both need to communicate better,

because you are both making good points but also refusing to listen to what the other is saying.

You are saying that just because you are at home all day, that doesn't mean you have any time during working hours to do chores, which is true.

She is saying that because she has a long commute, her working hours are longer,

and it is unfair for you to be sitting watching TV or playing games during that time when she has not finished her workday by arriving home.

This is also fairly reasonable. So the solution is somewhere in between, which is what I expect both of you were actually aiming at,

you compare the length of your work days to figure out how much extra free time you have available,

and full on that time doing some of the household chores. When she gets home, you then split the remainder equally.

Maybe that means you doing the cooking so dinner is ready when she gets home.

Maybe her commute is an easy one where she can decompress reading a book on the train rather than getting angry at other drivers

and you do a little less to give yourself an equivalent space to decompress yourself.

Maybe you ask to factor in the stress and difficulty of your jobs, your earning potential or other details to make a fair split for you both.

There is no perfect answer, but you both need to communicate and agree on the suitable answer for you.

keyboardbill − I work from home and pick up more household duties because of that.

Do I pick up all of them? No. Does she contribute quite a bit? Yes. You guys need to meet in the middle here. NAH here. Yet…

Many users think commute time should factor into chore division, with work-from-home partner taking on more.

FalseAsphodel − INFO: how long is her commute?

If she's commuting over an hour in each direction that's two hours a day you have extra, for example.

I'm not saying you should do all the cleaning and chores but it would be nice of you to pop her washing in the machine for her

or load/unload the dishwasher. Not while you're working, obviously, but in the morning before you start work or before she gets home.

If her commute is short then you don't have much more free time than she does.

Whenitsajar − As a team, you should aim to have the same amount of free time (because you should want that for your partner).

If she has a long commute and you have none, than your fair share should be a bigger percentage of chores.

Not saying all the chores or that you have to do them during your work day, but remember that you're a team.

Sounds like she's got a bit of an attitude because she's jealous of your extra free time and is expressing it poorly.

Try to use some of that free time to benefit you both and her tune will change.

EVANonSTEAM − How much does she does around the house and what is her commute?

Commute DOES factor in, if she is commuting an hour one-way for example - you bet I’m cleaning a few of her dishes.

If she slacks with chores and has a short commute, I’d be changing my tune.

A few more users say work-from-home doesn’t mean being free for chores, but communication is key.

marygoore −  NTA but if she cooked you dinner and you didn’t do the dishes, you suck.

TemptingPenguin369 − NTA. Working from home doesn't mean you're not on the clock,

or you don't have to constantly monitor emails or Slack throughout the workday. You may need to revisit the division of chores in your household.

This Redditor’s dish-washing standoff shows how quickly cohabitation can turn into a chore war.

Was he right to push back against being the default cleaner, or should he have scrubbed a few plates to keep the peace?

With commutes and work-from-home dynamics in play, finding balance is trickier than a tightrope act.

How would you split the chores in this messy situation? Drop your hot takes below and let’s keep this drama cooking!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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