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Woman Refuses To Share How She Lost Her Leg With A Stranger, Gets Called “Rude” For Having Boundaries

by Layla Bui
October 22, 2025
in Social Issues

Most of us were taught as kids that it’s polite to say “hello” before asking personal questions. Apparently, some adults missed that lesson.

A woman shared on Reddit’s AITA forum that she’s an amputee who constantly gets stopped by strangers demanding to know what “happened” to her. At first, she laughed it off with humor, telling wild shark attack stories or playful tall tales, but years of relentless questions have worn her down.

The final straw came one early morning outside a hotel when a woman she’d never met immediately asked, “What did you do to lose your leg?” Without even a greeting. The woman snapped with a pointed lesson in respect. Scroll down to read the whole story!

The woman explained that this wasn’t the first time strangers had crossed the line

Woman Refuses To Share How She Lost Her Leg With A Stranger, Gets Called “Rude” For Having Boundaries
not the actual photo

'AITA for not disclosing my medical history to a stranger?'

I (F27) am an amputee. Ever since my amputation, countless people have asked me what happened to me.

At first I wasn’t bothered by it and sometimes would poke fun saying a shark bit it off or some other random story.

However, as time progressed, it began to upset me more and more.

I would get stopped in the middle of a parking lot, stopped in a busy aisle of the store, stopped on my way to and from appointments, etc.

The part that bothered me the most is that they didn’t even have the decency to introduce themselves, make small talk, or even ask me my name first.

Children are actually infinitely more respectful than these grown a** adults.

One morning, I was outside a hotel I was in smoking. This lady came outside and immediately asked “What did you do to lose your leg?”

Mind you, it was like literally 6 am. I said (verbatim): “You haven’t said good morning,

hello, or even asked me my name and yet you feel entitled to my medical history? Would you like that to happen to you?”

She started cussing me out and said that I was rude and a cunt etc. AITAH for saying this and feeling that was out of line?

TLDR: people always ask me what happened to my amputated leg as the first thing they say

without even being cordial enough to introduce themselves or have small talk. Sometimes I tell them that it’s rude to do so and they cuss me out

The woman in this story expresses a boundary that far too many people still fail to respect, the right to privacy regarding one’s body and medical history.

When strangers question an amputee, a visibly disabled person, or anyone with a noticeable difference, it often feels less like curiosity and more like objectification. Her response was assertive, not rude.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), unsolicited personal questions about someone’s body or health can trigger feelings of dehumanization and social anxiety, particularly when repeated over time.

Studies show that individuals with visible disabilities experience “microaggressions”, subtle but harmful intrusions, that reinforce a sense of being “othered” or viewed as an exhibit rather than a person. Over time, these encounters can contribute to emotional exhaustion and social withdrawal.

Her decision to call out the woman’s behavior directly was an example of boundary-setting, a healthy psychological response.

Research from Frontiers in Psychology (2022) found that assertive communication, expressing discomfort clearly but without hostility, protects mental well-being and reinforces self-agency in people facing intrusive questions.

When the other woman lashed out, it reflected embarrassment and reactive defensiveness, not genuine offense.

It’s also important to note that disability etiquette, as outlined by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), emphasizes that no one is obligated to discuss their medical condition. A polite introduction, context, or consent is essential before broaching such personal topics.

The CDC explicitly advises that “questions about cause, diagnosis, or treatment should be avoided unless the person invites the discussion”.

For people like the OP, practicing short, non-confrontational scripts such as “That’s personal” or “I’d rather not talk about it” can help disengage quickly, though her original statement was entirely justified. For others, it’s a reminder that curiosity is not consent.

Ultimately, she wasn’t asking for pity or attention; she was asking for basic human respect. Her story underlines an ongoing societal need: to treat disabled individuals as people first, not as public curiosities or lessons in resilience.

See what others had to share with OP:

These Redditors backed OP completely, saying her response was justified and even clever

Nalpona_Freesun − Nta Next time someone asks that a good response is "how did you lose your manners?"

Minimum_Practice_716 − NTA. Next time just say that you lost it in a fight after asking a stranger a personal question about their body.

Semi-On-Chardonnay − NTA. She got angry because she was called out and embarrassed. She’s projecting about her rudeness.

Top-Entertainer2546 − NTA Wow, I truly had no idea that so many adults would be so rude.

You response was perfect! I suppose you could come up with an array of similar responses to point out their rudeness.

Perhaps a properly shocked expression and Why do you think it's OK to ask me such a personal question!?

I don't sleep with strangers, or discuss my medical history with them either. Didn't your parents teach you any manners?

I lost my leg, not my manners. I know exactly where I left it. or just stare at them in shocked silence, shake your head, sigh and walk away.

You are not wrong, but since so many people are so rude,

I suppose having some snotty replies ready might make you feel a little less awful when you encounter these AHs.

This group shared empathy through personal stories

deserae1978 − My husband has an eye patch. He has a brain tumor that has paralyzed his eye and he prefers to cover it.

I cannot tell you how many people ask him what happened and also if he’s a pirate or if his wife won the fight etc.

Complete strangers. It’s horrible. You’re never the AH for wanting to keep things to yourself!

Ok-Football6675 − NTA Definitely NTA. I've never understood why people feel the need to ask personal questions

about someone's appearance or health problems.

Ditto, pregnant women have to put up with strangers touching them and asking questions.

FutureOdd2096 − NTA. My type 1 diabetic husband gets asked all the time about his pumps and sensors and it infuriates him.

Who raise these heathens to think its ok to just ask strangers about medical s__t? it's f__king weird.

These commenters used humor and logic to defend OP, saying she had every right to keep her medical history private

wesmorgan1 − The world is full of rude and insensitive people, and you are absolutely NTA.

Given that you seem open to joking about it, I would TOTALLY overplay it - heck, have a contest with your friends to build a list of responses:

"well, I was sentenced to the guillotine, but the executioner got the instructions upside down..."

"...it was a dark night in the mountains outside Agrabah..."

"[loud sigh]. ..*$(@#(%^(@)@ ingrown toenails..."

"HOLY COW, WHERE'S MY LEG? !"

"Well. ..[deep breath]...there I was, rescuing a nun from an orca off the Great Barrier Reef..."

"Ever seen Jurassic Park? Damned raptors..."

...all of which can be followed with, "That's why you don't ask total strangers personal questions."

loki2002 − Hey OP, how ya doing? I'm uloki2002, nice to meet you. Hope work and life are treating you well.

TGIF tomorrow, am I right? So, um, how'd you lose the leg? Also, NTA.

Andreiisnthere − “Are you s__ually active?” “How many partners do you currently have? Have you ever had?”

“Have you ever had an STD?” "If yes, how many times and which ones?”

“Are you using birth control other than condoms? If yes, which one and for how long?”

“Are you using c*ndoms? Instead of other birth control or in addition to?”

I ask these questions fairly frequently to people I have just met. But… I work in healthcare and it’s relevant to their medical exam.

Also I always know their name and I am bound by HIPAA and medical ethics

not to disclose the answers to anyone else unless I have your permission or it’s needed for your care.

Plus you have the right to say “I really don’t feel comfortable discussing that.”

and I will stop asking unless it’s immediately and directly related to your care right this minute.

And I will tell you why I need to know it urgently if that applies. NTA. Also f__k her.

Not just for asking, but for getting mad at you and calling you a c*** when she was being one.

This story might sound like a single rude encounter, but it highlights something much deeper: how society treats visible differences as invitations for interrogation. Curiosity is human, yes, but so is respect.

By speaking up, this Redditor didn’t just defend her boundaries; she modeled what self-respect looks like in the face of ignorance. Maybe it’s time we all take her advice and think before asking someone about their scars, devices, or disabilities.

Do you think she overreacted, or was her clapback exactly what rude strangers need to hear? Share your thoughts below.

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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