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Wife Tells Husband to Leave After Explosive Fight – Then Realizes Their Newborn Might Not Be Safe With Him Around

by Charles Butler
October 26, 2025
in Social Issues

A new mom, just three months into caring for her baby, found herself standing in a kitchen soaked with water her husband had thrown in anger. The fight started over one of the most important decisions new parents make, childcare.

She wanted to enroll their baby in a safe, professional daycare. He wanted his parents to take over, even though they ignored modern safety guidelines.

The argument turned explosive. He flipped a baby bath, destroyed important papers, and blocked her from leaving with their son.

Exhausted and scared, she told him coldly, “Leave. It won’t change our lives.” What followed was a flood of emotion, warning signs, and support from readers who saw more than just a fight, they saw red flags.

Wife Tells Husband to Leave After Explosive Fight - Then Realizes Their Newborn Might Not Be Safe With Him Around
Not the actual photo

A New Mom’s Stand Against Her Husband’s Rage Over Childcare Sparks a Reddit Storm

'AITAH for telling husband he can leave me and our newborn and it wouldnt impact our lives?'

My husband (32m) and I (29f) have been disagreeing lately about childcare for when I need to return to work full time.

He wants to rely on his parents and my mom to watch our son (3months) and I want to enroll him in an infant program at a daycare.

I do not want his parents to watch our son for many reasons but the biggest being his parents aren't capable of watching a newborn for 9 hours

and the fact that they refuse to follow the updated safety guidelines for prevention of SIDS.

Everytime I tell them updated information different from how they did it 30 years ago I get comments like "my kids would be dead 100 times over nowadays

with what I did" or "you're letting these guidelines drive you crazy" because I dont want my son to suffocate due to a blanket or bumpers being in/on his bassinet.

To put it in perspective my in laws have issues with their other DIL as well due to how they treat people around them.

I could go on about the issues the inlaws and I have had in the past but I don't want this post to be so so long.

Let's just say his parents purposely cross boundaries at the expense of other to get what they want.

Anyways the arguement between my husband and I got very heated the other night as I was preparing my son's bath on the kitchen counter.

As I was finished filling it with water my husband was so upset with our disagreement that he took the bath and flipped it over.

Resulting in water being all over our kitchen and dinning room hardwood floors and table.

I told his to get the f out of the house and to not come near me or our son (I was baby wearing him at the time).

He kept trying to come near me to the point I left through the backdoor with my son and tried to get in my car to drive away

but my husband stood behind my car so I couldn't leave so I just walked away from the house instead so I could feel safe with our son.

Eventually I needed to come back in order to feed our son a bottle. My husband was attempting to clean up the gallons of water he spilled on the floor...

(floors, basement ceiling and documents ended up damaged). He said he would finish cleaning up and then leave the house. He left around midnight and didnt come back until 8pm...

Sadly this isn't the first time my husband has acted out of anger. While I was pregnant he punched a hole in our hallway and then grabbed me resulting in...

He also has knocked my possessions off countertops resulting in things I cannot replace being broken. He always apologizes and says he will do better but I no longer have...

When he came back the other night we continued the conversation about childcare and somehow got on the topic of another future baby.

Which I said I potentially did not want another child due to the traumatic birth of our son (Im less than 3 months postpartum during this conversation).

My husband then threatened to divorce me and go have a baby with someone else because his son will not be an only child.

I flat out told him to file the paperwork without any emotion. I told him it wouldnt make a difference

if he was here or not considering he left for almost 24 hours without any communication and I can manage it all on my own.

Do I want our son to have divorced parents, no I don't, but I also dont want him to grow up around a father who acts out of anger and...

I just feel like I've been through enough with him and for him to now threaten divorce over childcare and potentially not having another baby is absurd in my mind.

I know during our arguements I can say n__ty things but I never threatened divorce.

Now a few days later we are trying to continue talking about childcare but my trust for him and his parents is almost non existent due to his actions and...

I'm starting to feel like I am the A-hole because I said that him leaving wouldnt make a difference. Like deep down I do not want him to leave.

But then I think about how mid typing this I had to stop to go take out the garbage (its 5am) before collection even though he said he did it...

I just sometimes think he purposely is incompetent so I just do everything.

He says I wont have to coordinate with our parents on whose watching our son when during the week and he would do it.

But ik that wont happen and I will have to end up doing it. I just dont need the extra stress and rather have something consistent.

I just dont know what to do or if I am an A-hole for not wanting this life as it is right now for our son. Any advice or words...

Expert Opinion

This story reveals how deep frustration and control can hide behind the mask of family disagreement. The 29-year-old mother had just given birth and was still healing, both physically and emotionally.

All she wanted was a safe childcare option for her newborn, one that followed proper safety rules like no blankets or loose bedding in the crib, as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Her husband, however, demanded that his parents watch the baby instead. They had already ignored her requests about safe sleep practices, brushing off her concerns as “overreacting.”

When she refused, things spiraled. The husband’s anger exploded. He slammed things, flipped a baby bath full of water, and drenched the kitchen along with her documents.

It wasn’t the first time he’d lost control, he had punched walls and broken her belongings before. This time, when she tried to leave with the baby, he blocked her car with his own. Feeling trapped, she walked away, holding her child, and told him his threats to leave didn’t matter anymore.

Her words weren’t cruel, they were the voice of a woman who had reached her limit. After all she’d been through, she no longer feared being alone. She feared staying.

Why This Isn’t “Just an Argument”

What makes this story especially disturbing is how easily it could have been dismissed as a normal marital fight. But experts say it’s more serious.

When anger turns into property damage, intimidation, or isolation, it crosses into emotional or even physical abuse.

A 2023 report from the National Domestic Violence Hotline found that one in seven women experiences abuse after giving birth. These cases often start with emotional manipulation or control.

Therapist Dr. Lundy Bancroft explains, “Abusers often become more aggressive when they feel they’re losing control, especially after major life changes like childbirth.”

Her husband’s violent reaction showed how unwilling he was to let her make decisions or feel safe in her own home.

The Control Behind the Rage

The husband’s attempt to control childcare, her movements, and even her ability to leave points to a deeper need for dominance.

His threat to “have a baby with someone else” after she refused to have another child right away only highlights how manipulative he has become. Instead of listening, he punished her emotionally.

For many new mothers, postpartum life is already overwhelming. Add a controlling partner into the mix, and it can become terrifying. It was her reclaiming her voice after months of fear.

What Comes Next

The next steps for her are critical. Many readers urged her to protect herself and her baby first.

That means documenting every incident, finding legal advice, and contacting domestic violence support services like The Hotline or Orange Door.

These organizations can help her with safety planning, housing, and legal protection.

Her husband’s anger won’t vanish overnight. But the decision to set boundaries and to walk away when things turn dangerous, – is one of the most powerful forms of self-protection a new mom can make.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

Many saw her story as a clear example of emotional and physical abuse, not just a relationship issue. 

Affectionate_Lie9631 − You have way bigger problems than child care.

Your relationship shows numerous flags that you will eventually become a victim of domestic violence: laying hands on you (tearing your shift) throwing things when he is angry - punching...

controlling who you can see (not allowing you to put your son in daycare), gaslighting and manipulating you by saying he will divorce you and have a child with someone...

controlling your movements (standing behind your car so you couldn’t leave), careless disregard for the safety of your child

(throwing the water while you were wearing the baby) I’m a former copper who worked in domestic violence for years and I’m telling you that you are not safe with...

If he doesn’t leave, you should.

mban4 − He is violent, aggressive and purposefully only damages and breaks your stuff (mementoes, documents) during his rage blackouts.

He tried putting his hands on you while you were pregnant and now while you were holding your baby when he flipped the washbasin, and he wouldn't let you leave...

He is adamant about his parents watching your child when they refuse to follow medical advice about SIDS.

Why are you with this person? Do you want your son to grow up around a parent who is violently abusive to his mother and towards him? And constantly puts...

Please leave while you still can - or very soon your bc will conveniently fail or his condom will break or he'll force you and you'll be pregnant with baby...

You're NTA with regards to him and wanting to divorce him, but TA if you continue in this abusive relationship.

Odd_Knowledge_2146 − Your husband is abusive. He is aggressive and sounds like he is gearing up to escalate.

I think you would be safer if you start making plans to get safe. Your baby would be better growing up safe and loved rather than a scary home of...

Others shared their own experiences, saying her calm decision to stand up for herself was brave and necessary.

Eyad2020a − NTA but I am concerned about his anger and you said it wasn’t the first time. That is a red flag.

If you want to be in a relationship with him I would advise marriage counselling and him to go on an anger management course. Personally I would not stay in...

Do you want your child to grow up with what sounds like an abusive person? I speak from experience being raised in a home where dad was physically, mentally and...

Though he changed and we have a okay relationship now I am distant. As for mum while I love her I have never forgiven her for not getting us out...

Medical_Mountain_895 − The minute he tried to prevent you from leaving you should've called the cops. Start documentingyou'll need it for custody.

Get the grandparents to confess in writing so they won't be allowed to babysit. Tell him his sons safety should be his number one priority.   Period.

Nothing else should come before that. His behavior shows he doesn't care about his safety or well being.

His behavior can mentally affect his baby. Throwing things around a baby Is never a good sign, neither is both of you trapped in a car while he's yelling at...

LoudAlternative4884 − You most definitely NTA! He is abusive and you need to put yourself and your son’s safety first. He will not change if this is already repeated behaviour.

As hard as it is to walk away, there are some women out there who unfortunately lose their lives. Please, please if you are even scared or don’t know where...

They can help

Some offered practical advice, keep records, talk to a counselor, and never stay where you feel unsafe. 

Mean-Buy2974 − NTA If a friend told you this story, what would your advice be? He's violent. That's enough.

Protect yourself and your baby. He strikes me as a man who will eventually be jealous of the time this baby will take from him a well.

Fit_Fly_9984 − NTA your husband gets violent when he doesn’t get his way. You deserve a better life than the one you have now with your husband, so does your...

Your husband is abusing you. Please leave him as soon as you can. It will be hard at first, he will guilt you and gas light you, be strong for...

BumblebeeSuper − NTA let's back up the train though.     You're in an abusive relationship.

That man is going to try and m__der you or your child. He is taking no action in addressing his anger issues professionally. Make a plan and get somewhere safe.

Thats-Not-My-Name-80 − You are in an abusive relationship. It’s a matter of of time before his anger has him striking you instead of an inanimate object.

Don’t wait for him to file. Get an attorney and do it yourself and document all of the recent times including this most recent time (screenshots of texts etc).

This story is painful but powerful. It’s about a new mom standing her ground when everything around her felt unsafe.

Her husband’s outburst may have started over daycare, but it revealed something much darker, his need for control and her growing courage to break free.

Her words, “Leave. It won’t change our lives,” weren’t said out of coldness. They were said by someone who finally understood that peace is better than pretending everything is fine.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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