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Wife Nearly Dies From Ectopic Pregnancy, Husband Lectures Her For Taking Anxiety Medicine

by Annie Nguyen
October 29, 2025
in Social Issues

Losing an unplanned pregnancy can shatter anyone, amplifying grief with physical agony and fears about the future. In such raw moments, a spouse’s role is crucial, offering solace without judgment. Yet, when opinions on mental health treatment differ sharply, it can fracture trust and spark resentment.

This tale involves a newlywed enduring emergency surgery and infection, all while grappling with panic she’d never felt before. Her husband stayed by her side but undermined her when she accepted anxiety medication, insisting on alternative methods amid her turmoil.

The disagreement boiled over, prompting her to tell him to back off, which strained their bond further. Scroll on to explore the heartbreaking specifics and hear what commenters had to say about this clash over care and control.

One woman, recovering from a traumatic surgery, told her husband to leave after he criticized her anxiety medication

Wife Nearly Dies From Ectopic Pregnancy, Husband Lectures Her For Taking Anxiety Medicine
Not the actual photo

AITAH for telling my husband to leave me alone while I was in the hospital?

I am f early 20s. My husband is m early 30s.

We’ve been married a year. We were not trying for a baby, but we do eventually want them.

So about a month and a half ago, I started having some symptoms that I chalked up as a UTI.

Which I know sounds stupid now, but it was nonspecific things like cramps and burning.

I waited about two weeks before crippling pain woke me up in the middle of the night, and I decided I needed to drive myself to the ER.

However, I couldn’t even drive, it hurt so bad.

My husband took me, and it turns out I was having an ectopic pregnancy and it ruptured.

It was a very shocking experience… I hadn’t even known I was pregnant.

I had surgery and ended up with sepsis.

I was very groggy and in a lot of pain for the following days.

I was in the hospital for about three and a half weeks.

All of that to explain why I was even in the hospital.

As I mentioned, it was so shocking.

I was so upset about losing a baby I wasn’t even trying for, but would’ve loved so much

on top of just being in pain and hating being in the hospital.

Never in my life have I struggled with or experienced anxiety, but I think I started having it while in the ICU.

The doctors had prescribed me some medication that I could ask for,

but my husband advised me not to (he’s weirdly anti-medication for depression/anxiety, things like that), so I never did.

However, one night I just had a particularly bad night and had so much anxiety and fear around everything.

They had to remove one of my fallopian tubes, so I was just so upset that I might not ever have a baby again.

And I lost one. And I was in pain and everything.

My husband was at my side, but he wasn’t being very comforting,

and the nurse came in because she said my heart rate was really up.

She suggested the anxiety medication, so I said yes.

My husband didn’t say anything until she gave it to me and left,

but then he started to lecture me on how I don’t need more medication

and I need to just work on “calming my breathing” and “relaxing.”

We bickered for truly an hour before I eventually just snapped and told him to leave me alone.

He was so shocked and offended and left the hospital completely

and didn’t come back until the next night, and continued to be offended.

He told me I should have never shut him out of that conversation,

and I was so upset that I just let him lecture me again.

That was some weeks ago, and he’s never brought it up again and seems not to care, but I’m still upset.

AITAH for doing that?

In relationships, distinguishing between genuine concern and controlling behavior can be challenging, particularly when one partner attempts to influence the other’s medical choices.

In this scenario, the wife’s decision to accept prescribed anxiety medication during her hospital recovery from an ectopic pregnancy rupture was met with her husband’s disapproval and prolonged lecturing, escalating to her requesting space.

Such interference, especially amid physical pain and emotional distress from pregnancy loss and surgery, raises concerns about autonomy and support.

Research indicates that partner interference with health care is a recognized form of intimate partner abuse, often linked to control tactics that undermine a person’s well-being.

A study published in the Journal of General Internal Medicine highlights how abused women frequently report partners obstructing medical access or decisions, which correlates with poorer health outcomes.

This behavior can manifest as dismissing professional advice, as seen here with the husband’s preference for breathing techniques over medication, potentially exacerbating the wife’s anxiety.

Anxiety following an ectopic pregnancy is common, with studies showing elevated risks of post-traumatic stress, depression, and anxiety persisting for months.

According to research in the American Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology in ScienceDirect, about 17% of women experience ongoing anxiety nine months post-ectopic pregnancy, underscoring the need for timely treatment like medication or therapy.

Denying such interventions may hinder recovery, as emotional support from partners plays a critical role in healing.

The National Institutes of Health emphasizes that strong social support networks, including empathetic spousal involvement, reduce stress and improve mental health during medical recovery.

The age difference, early twenties for the wife and early thirties for the husband, may introduce power imbalances, a red flag noted by experts.

Therapy Central’s analysis of age-gap dynamics warns that older partners might exert control over decisions, especially in health matters, due to differing maturity levels or insecurities.

Psychology Today outlines signs of controlling partners, including chronic criticism and making acceptance conditional on compliance, which align with the husband’s offended reaction and ongoing lectures.

For advice, individuals facing similar issues should prioritize their health by consulting professionals independently, as recommended by WebMD, which advises recognizing and controlling behaviors like dictating medical choices as prompts to seek external support.

Couples counseling can help address underlying insecurities and foster mutual respect. If patterns persist, evaluating the relationship’s health is crucial; resources like the National Domestic Violence Hotline offer guidance on identifying abuse.

Ultimately, true partnership involves respecting personal agency, especially in vulnerable times, to promote healing rather than conflict.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

These Redditors slammed the husband’s control, urging the woman to protect her autonomy

Kappybook916 − HE’S Not a doctor and therefore gets no say in what medication you take.

Women are often told to “suck it up” WAY TOO MUCH already.

His lack of support is awful. His lack of support is a sign of how he will be going forward.

Bella-1999 − He needs to understand that he doesn’t get to make medical decisions for you.

He was bullying you while you were trying to recover. For me this would be deal breaker territory.

Unique-Dot-5449 − This is totally unacceptable! If it was me I’d be gone.

My thoughts are what if the medication was life saving and he’s saying no!

I just can’t accept it. I have no words of wisdom except don’t make him your medical proxy…ever!

If you couldn’t answer for yourself you don’t want him making those decisions for you.

These Redditors called the husband’s behavior bullying, emphasizing his lack of empathy

emryldmyst − NTA. You're unfortunately married to one though.

Objective_Attempt_14 − NTA, ICU psychosis is a thing. Glad you finally listened to you. What he did was unkind and abusive.

PomegranateZanzibar − That’s called bullying a critically ill woman. Oddly, yelling at people to calm down never works.

These users flagged age-gap control issues, warning of red flags

SwimmingCricket9346 − NTA and i'm a little concerned about your ages.

Being in your early 20s with a 30+ year old man is one thing

but he is clearly not there for you during a hard time

(not being supportive or comforting, plus it's also concerning that you even thought to drive yourself to the ER instead of having him drive you).

Imagine if you do get pregnant and he tries to stop you

from taking necessary medications for any reason but especially for anxiety/depression.

And god forbid you suffer from postpartum depression and he doesn't want you to take medications for that.

MyRedditUserName428 − I’m sorry for your loss OP. You’re a lot younger than your husband and he sounds controlling and emotionally abusive.

I would try to take some time to really think about whether this kind of marriage is what you want for your life.

How did you even get pregnant in the first place if you weren’t planning to have kids yet?

Were you on birth control? Was he using condoms?

Controlling older men like to knock up their younger women to trap them before they turn 25 and start questioning their relationship.

These commenters supported her medication choice, criticizing his interference

Known_Witness3268 − He waited until you two were alone to berate you. He knew he was wrong.

He’s not upset because he knows he was in the wrong and there were no consequences for him.

You’re upset because you know he was in the wrong and you suffered the consequences. OP, take the meds you need.

Cancer meds are super dangerous with side effects and no one tells their spouses

not to take them, because they need them. You need this, too.

djkglo − He is not the one to have to go through all of the pain, anxiety, and emotions.

In no way should he be able to dictate what you feel is the correct decision for YOUR BODY.

I’m wondering how he would act throughout a pregnancy and if he would fight you on having any drugs during birth.

That’s the kind of s__t that would give me major anxiety! Edit: NTA!

This woman’s hospital snap turned her husband’s lecture into a lesson in boundaries, reclaiming her peace. Was her outburst a justified cry for space, or should she have explained her needs first?

Did the husband’s control merit the boot, or was it a misunderstanding? Share your thoughts below. Would you demand solitude or talk it out in this bedside drama?

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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