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Dad Declares No More Talks About Son Citing Mom’s Double Standards For Teens And Little Ones

by Jeffrey Stone
December 2, 2025
in Social Issues

A dad in a blended family of six bans wife from criticizing his 15-year-old son after the boy’s friends overrun their home with pool parties and snacks. Stepmom feels overwhelmed by the constant chaos and noise.

The father sees double standards, accusing her of favoring her own kids while targeting his eldest’s social life. He shuts down all complaints about his son, sparking debates on fairness and parenting in mixed households.

Dad bans conversations about his son, suspecting his wife of favoritism and having double standards.

Dad Declares No More Talks About Son Citing Mom's Double Standards For Teens And Little Ones
Not the actual photo.

'AITA because I banned all further conversations about my son?'

I have three kids from a prior relationship. Two are my biological offspring, and one was my stepson until I adopted him.

He was four when I adopted him and doesn't remember a time before me being his dad.

His mother and I are on very bad terms, but I love my son, and she has never tried to drive a wedge between me and him

or between me and our bios, which I do owe her gratitude for. My wife and I also have three kids.

The youngest is two. My oldest is fifteen now and a freshman in high school.

He's really come into his own in high school. He's in a bunch of clubs and has several friends.

His friends like coming over here because our HOA has a pool, tennis court and basketball court at the clubhouse.

We also have a bunch of games in the living room, which they often sit around and play on rainy days.

My wife said she is overwhelmed by the influx of teenagers and wants all the hangouts here to stop.

She said they need to hang out at his mom's or stick to the clubhouse because they are annoying and eat too much.

I asked if this is going to be the rule for all the kids, because our oldest together (seven) also has a lot of playdates and friends over all the...

Not to mention all the toddlers that fill our home every Sunday after yoga. She says those are different, but I don't see how.

After a few arguments that went nowhere I told her I don't want to hear anymore about my son.

She says the same things over and over, and there is no consistency.

She says the kids are loud, but our seven year old and his friends are much louder.

The teens tend to speak pretty much in a normal tone of voice most of the time, whereas the younger kids frequently shriek and yell.

The toddlers often scream and wail. My wife said I'm being an a__hole, because it's controlling to ban a topic of conversation.

She's never had much interest in my oldest though, so I'm not sure why she feels entitled to talk about him to her heart's content.

The line must be drawn somewhere.

Friends’ hangouts at home could be noisy. Hence the annoyance to mom and dad. But is such the case in this Reddit story?

In this situation, the dad stands firm against what he sees as unfair targeting of his 15-year-old son, whose friends flock to their amenity-packed home.

Meanwhile, his wife pushes back, labeling the teens as loud snack-munchers who disrupt her peace, yet she welcomes playdates for their shared seven-year-old and toddler gatherings post-yoga. The core clash is resulted by perceived double standards in a house rules showdown.

From the dad’s view, it’s blatant inconsistency: younger kids shriek and scatter toys without a peep of complaint, but teens chatting in normal tones get the boot.

He suspects his wife’s lack of interest in his older son fuels the gripe, especially since she demands hangouts shift to the “bio mom’s” place or clubhouse.

On the flip side, she might genuinely feel swamped – managing a full house with little ones while teens drop in unannounced, devouring groceries and space.

It’s less about the kids’ ages and more about boundaries, respect, and who bears the load.

Zooming out, this mirrors broader blended family dynamics, where stepparents navigate loyalty divides. A 2023 Pew Research Center report highlights that 42% of U.S. adults have at least one step-relative, and conflicts over parenting styles rank high in remarriage stressors.

 Here, the wife’s yoga toddler crew likely includes adult supervision and social perks for her, unlike the self-sufficient teens who offer no “mom break.”

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman notes: “The last, but certainly not least, of the Four Horsemen (A/N: of divorce) is stonewalling. Stonewalling is, well, what it sounds like. In a discussion or argument, the listener withdraws from the interaction, shutting down and closing themselves off from the speaker because they are feeling overwhelmed or physiologically flooded”.

This rings true for the OP. His conversation ban echoes stonewalling, one of Gottman’s “Four Horsemen” predictors of divorce. It protects his son short-term but risks long-term marital meltdown, ignoring valid concerns like impromptu visits.

Neutral ground? Compromise is key. Set schedules for teen hangouts, have the son pitch in for snacks, or alternate hosting duties so dad handles cleanup. Address favoritism head-on with family counseling to unpack motivations.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Some criticize both for poor communication and ultimatums.

lellyla − ESH because you banned the subject and she because she banned them from the house.

Who is feeding the teenagers? Who is around to make sure they are ok? Who is cleaning after them?

Is it you or your wife? If it's your wife, does she have experience with teenagers?

You need to discuss this without ultimatums and compromise from both sides. Maybe the teenagers can come but you will be responsible for taking care of them.

[Reddit User] − ESH, this is terrible communication on both of your parts and is not healthy for your relationship or your parenting.

Bottom line: She DOES have the right to have her opinion on the matter, it is directing her directly.

She DOES NOT have the right to dictate the rules for the house based solely on her own whims. I

know it gets trotted out a lot here, but some couples/family counselling is very likely to help out, otherwise your marriage is heading to a bad end.

niennabobenna − This is hard. I'm gonna say ESH because "banning" a conversation doesn't address the issue

and basically leaves things to fester. She's wrong for treating the kids differently.

Others fault OP for shutting down discussion on a shared home issue.

Helena-Handbasket89 − To be fair to your wife, there is a difference between having a bunch of children over and having a bunch of teenagers over.

I don’t know how many kids are at the playdates or how many adults are also there

but generally speaking kids under the age of 10 tend to not eat too much and don’t take up as much space as teenagers.

That aside, YTA for just shutting it down and pull the “he’s my kid and o don’t want to talk about him with you” card.

She absolutely has a say in what goes on in that house and it sounds like this situation is affecting her a lot more than you in the long run.

You can’t shut down a discussion permanently just because you’re struggling to understand each other.

Maybe she is discriminating against your son or maybe she is genuinely stressed out.

Sounds like you immediately assumed the worst and tried to do a gotcha on her. That’s an AH move.

NorthernLitUp − YTA for shutting down a discussion. It's fine to stand up for your son. It's fine to point out the double standard.

It's NOT fine to just tell your WIFE that you're not talking about something any more than obviously concerns her for whatever reason.

Work through your issues by talking... like adults.

Some highlight differences between toddlers and uninvited teens.

Outrageously_Penguin − Well, reading this, if I don’t assume that your wife just doesn’t care about your son,

the obvious difference is that having friends over for a seven year old makes life easier for the Mom -

kid has someone to play with so needs less entertainment from the parents.

Similarly, all those toddlers coming over after yoga are presumably with their parents and it’s a social thing that your wife also enjoys.

The teenagers provide challenges but no benefits to her, unlike these other get togethers.

If you genuinely believe your wife just doesn’t like your son, I don’t know why the eff you’re married to her at all.

If you’re just being stubbornly obtuse about the difference between these types of groups in the home

because you don’t want to set a boundary with your son, YTA. There are obvious compromises here if you don’t just stonewall.

perfectpomelo3 − INFO: are the toddlers who are there every week accompanied by their parents?

Are they there to socialize themselves or are they they so your wife can socialize with their parents?

How much of your food do they consume versus how much the teenagers consume?

Some suggest compromise through rules for the teens.

PracticalPrimrose − NTA. Good parents protect their children, even from their spouse. Her own precious offspring will someday be teens.

Ask her to make a list of concrete concerns and that you can work together on those items.

Ex: Food consumption b/c groceries are expensive. Solution: OK we will ask son to contribute X towards food because hosting IS expensive.

Ditto for loss of family time. Ditto for having company all the time. You get the idea.

Her random complaints though? Nope. Not on topic. Loud is subjective.

CalmCupcake2 − Why not sit down with the three of you and negotiate some rules or guidelines for the teens?

Can't stay past 9, a snacks budget or separate snack cabinet, noise levels, stay on the main floor, don't interfere with yoga, whatever.

Set some guidelines, everyone abides by them. Teens need a safe place to go,

you are doing these kids a huge kindness. But some common sense rules agreed by everyone are important too.

this dad’s protective ban shielded his teen but slammed the door on dialogue, leaving favoritism fumes lingering.

Do you think his ultimatum was a fair shield against inconsistency, or did it escalate a fixable fuss?

How would you juggle stepchild equity when the house feels like Grand Central Station? Share your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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