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Date Partner’s Negging Woman On Body Dreams And Kids Provokes Her Reaction That Stuns Him Back

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A confident artist gears up for a promising first date, sharing her vibrant painting dreams, gallery aspirations, and firm no-kids policy – only for her match to unleash pre-dinner jabs at her body, career, and choices. The evening tanks instantly, her expression screaming discomfort as vibes plummet.

She settles the bill, boxes her meal, and bolts, but second-guesses her snap judgment. Commenters swarm, debating if blunt honesty warranted the crash-out or sparked an overblown reaction to early awkwardness. Pure cringeworthy chaos hooks readers on judgment calls in modern dating disasters.

Woman ditched a rude date after body shaming, dream dismissal, and kid clashes.

Date Partner's Negging Woman On Body Dreams And Kids Provokes Her Reaction That Stuns Him Back
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for walking out of a date?'

I met a guy online and we met up in person yesterday. We decided to go out to eat, and while we are waiting for the food,

he said I’m “bigger than what he usually prefers”. And at that moment I’m thinking “if I’m not your preference, why did you entertain a date with me?”.

My face fell and he said “I didn’t mean anything by it, I think you’re pretty”. We kept talking, but the vibes were already off.

He asked what I liked to do, and I told him art is my passion, that I love to draw/paint

and that I hope to be lucky enough to exhibit work in prestigious galleries in the future.

To that he responded “don’t you think it’s wiser to focus on a more practical line of work?

Art is cool and everything but most people in it don’t go far. At least not until after they die”

to which I reply that society devaluing artists is why the world is quite literally losing color and everything is grey and beige.

Then as the conversation progressed, he asks if I’d like a family in the future.

I say I don’t mind getting married if I find a decent person but I don’t want kids.

He said “why wouldn’t you want kids? I think it’s a red flag when a woman doesn’t like kids”.

At that point I said “you know what, we’re not compatible”, then asked for the check and a to-go plate, paid for my food and walked out.

When I got home I get a text from him saying “I’m sorry if I offended you. Was it the weight comment? I didn’t think you’d be so sensitive”.

I blocked him but a little voice in my head is making me wonder if I am in fact being too sensitive. AITAH?

Imagine you’re all dolled up for a first date, heart fluttering like a rom-com montage, only for your match to drop a casual bombshell about your size, then your dream, then your viewpoint on children, even before the appetizers arrive. You must be hurt.

This Redditor’s date kicked off with a curveball comments of said stuffs. That’s classic negging, where someone slips in a backhanded jab to knock your confidence and keep you chasing approval.

As licensed mental health counselor Amanda Levison, M.S., LMHC, LPC, CCBT describes, negging is “backhanded compliments and insults disguised as constructive criticism”, aimed at undermining self-esteem for control.

In this story, it fits like a glove, from body jabs to dream-dashing, testing if she’d tolerate it. The relevance is spot-on: our Redditor saw through it, refusing to shrink.

Here, it backfired spectacularly, leaving our Redditor deflated before the mains arrived. From his perspective, maybe he thought it was “honest feedback” or a quirky icebreaker. Guys, pro tip: it’s neither.

Motivations? Could be insecurity on his end, projecting his preferences to test boundaries, or just plain tactlessness. Either way, it set a tone of criticism over compliments, turning flirtation into frustration.

Then came the art chat. She lit up about brushes, canvases, and splashing color into a beige world, only for him to suggest ditching dreams for something “practical.”

Talk about raining on her parade! Opposing views here highlight a classic divide: dreamers vs. realists. He might see it as protective advice, warning against the starving-artist trope, but it dismissed her fire. Satirically speaking, if everyone chased “safe” jobs, we’d all be staring at spreadsheets instead of sunsets.

This ties into broader societal snubs on creative paths, where passion gets sidelined for paychecks. Yet, artists fuel culture. Think how grey life would be without murals, movies, or music videos adding that pop!

The kid question sealed the deal. She was open to marriage but firm on childfree living. Yet he labeled no-kids vibes a “red flag.” That’s an incompatibility alert! Wanting families or not is deeply personal, rooted in values, lifestyles, and visions.

His pushback was perhaps fear of mismatched futures or traditional expectations clashing with modern choices.

According to a 2024 Pew Research Center survey, more American adults are opting childfree, with surveys showing it’s a growing, valid path instead of a flaw.

Broaden this to family dynamics in dating: clashing on big life goals like kids can erode foundations, leading to resentment. Experts note these mismatches often stem from unaligned priorities, amplified in early adulthood when visions crystallize.

Neutral advice: Trust your gut on first-date dealbreakers. Communicate boundaries early, like preferences or non-negotiables.

If vibes sour, exiting gracefully protects your peace, better a solo dinner than forced small talk. For future dates, screen via chats on passions and plans.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Some affirm NTA and praise dodging a manipulative date.

Samwry − NTA. There is a reason this guy is trolling the interwebs looking for a date.

At first I thought the weight comment was just a ploy to make you a bit less confident, and therefore easier to get into bed.

But then I realized the guy is just a d__checanoe. Classy to pay for your part of the meal. Smart to not waste any more time.

intheshadowz08 − NTA. NEVER unblock this colossal jerk. You made the right call. “Was it the weight comment?”

Response: “Nope, it was just your personality, but you get points for letting it shine on the first date and not wasting time for either of us, especially me."

Others list multiple insults as reasons to end the date immediately.

Diligent_Ad_3864 − Nope, you did the right thing. He commented on your weight, told you your dream was unattainable,

then said you were a red flag. You were 100% correct in thinking you were incompatible. Have a trophy for sticking up for yourself! Go girl!!!!

janus1981 − NTA. Three strikes and now he’s out. 1. The weight comment. 2. Devaluing artists. 3. Kid incompatibility. Bye Felicia!

hopingtothrive − The weight comment. The art comment. The red flag no kids comment. You stayed 2 comments too long. NTA

Some explain the weight comment as negging tactic.

FlyingNope − NTA. The weight comment alone was blatant negging and enough of a reason to block him.

He brought it up afterwards because he knows it was an intentionally offensive thing to say

and he was attempting to gaslight you by acting like you taking offense is you "being too sensitive".

This guy was testing to see if you were easily manipulated and would tolerate being treated poorly.

He's a walking red flag. You absolutely made the right call walking out on the date and blocking him.

robbietreehorn − Google negging. It’s where you subtly insult someone in the hopes

that it will make them think you’re the catch and they have to win your affection. It’s a s__tty pickup artist tactic. He was negging you

Others encourage resisting pressure to tolerate bad behavior.

TheAmyrlinSkeet − That voice in your head is the social conditioning women experience that forces them

to shrink themselves for the comfort of men. Never give in to that voice.

A user views first dates as auditions revealing true character.

Traveling-Techie − First date = audition. Theoretically you were seeing him at his absolute best. NTA

Another shares similar bad date experiences.

Less_Introduction598 − NTA. I went in a date with a guy once. We met online, he seemed nice enough.

But awkwardly, the entire date, he compared me to his ex. It was awful. I politely excused myself and left.

My best friend was at a bar down the street, so I went there to have a drink and laugh it off with her.

Only for him to walk in and sit down with us and try and salvage the date.

Walking out mid-date and blocking the guy? Total power move that left everyone cheering. Reflecting back, this Redditor dodged a lifetime of dimmed dreams and dimmer compliments. Her quick exit was self-respect in action, not sensitivity.

Do you think her bold bounce was fair, or could a chat have salvaged it? How would you juggle clashing views on body positivity, creative careers, or kid-free futures?

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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