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High School Sweethearts’ 20-Year Marriage Broken As Husband’s Fling Results In A Child

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A high-school sweetheart duo, basking in 20 years of sappy PDA, date-night magic, and four adopted kids, shatters when the husband confesses a nine-year-old affair yielding a secret son now needing a family spot.

Reddit gasps at this betrayal quake, blending numb wife agony with pity for the boy amid trust wreckage. Locked doors and villain vibes swirl, commenters fracture on stepmom duty versus heartbreak boundaries in soap-opera spills.

A wife faces her husband’s secret son from a nine-year-old affair and refuses to parent him.

High School Sweethearts' 20-Year Marriage Broken As Husband's Fling Results In A Child
Not the actual photo.

'AITA if I were to tell my husband that I don't want to have any relationship nor help him care for the child he fathered with his lover?'

I still can't believe this thing happened to me and I'm just so lost and so tired now,

I never expected for my husband to do this to me after everything we have.

English is not my first language and I'm still in shock so please forgive me if there's some mess in my post, I'm just venting and feeling so broken.

I've never used Reddit for things like this and just watched stories from the Internet.

Some background: Me (44F) and my husband (45M) has been married for two decades and we have four kids in together;

Shane (F23), Bea (F22), Charles (M17), and Ivan (M13).

All of our kids are adopted since I cannot carry a child to term but I treat all of my kids as if I birthed them myself.

Me and my husband has a wonderful relationship, we are high school sweethearts, dated in high school and got married when we were in college,

we rarely fight because we always address the issues we have and always tried our best to fight for our relationship.

We have date nights, our kids cringes every time me and their Dad are together

because of how sticky we are and affectionate, we both have good jobs as well

(I worked in a high position at a Call Center, while my husband works in tech),

both earning good amount of money for us to provide a comfortable life to our children.

And we have great intimacy. We are each other's firsts in everything. So imagine my shock when my husband told me this morning

that he had a one-night stand with a co-worker nine years ago and it resulted with a boy.

My husband told me that it happened when I was away on a trip with my girlfriends

and he was feeling so lonely and stressed for a project at that time but he didn't want to bother me while I'm out having fun

because I rarely go out with my friends, he said didn't mean for it to happen and it never happened again but I don't know if I believe him.

According to him, after they did it, he and his AP spoke about how much of a mistake of what they did

and that it shouldn't happen again, since then they never spoke to each other at work aside from when they have projects together,

the AP ended up leaving their company after two months so they never saw each other again.

Now, just this morning, my husband told me that his AP's parents contacted him a month ago

and told him that she became pregnant after they slept together and gave birth to a son.

They said that they can no longer care for the boy since they're old and the AP is in jail for the foreseeable future,

they wanted to still have the kid with them but won't be able to provide a good life for the child so they wanted my husband to take in the...

I just became numb the entire time he's explaining to me. He told me of his plan to turn one of our guest room into that boy's room

and wanted to introduce him to our kids as their new brother. Said that I would love the kid

because the boy likes anime and we would definitely get along, my husband is completely ecstatic because he said the boy looks so much like him

and is such a good kid, that the boy would be grateful to have a normal life and have parents that would love him -

which is, from what I think he's saying, me and him being the parents. I don't know what to do.

I know the boy is completely innocent and he didn't chose his parents. But the fact that he knew about this child for a month yet hid it from me,

and the fact that the boy is his blood-related child, which is something I can never give him is making me feel so horrible

and making me feel a bit resentful for the child's existence. I'm currently locking myself in our bedroom

and he's been trying to get me to open the door but I just wanted to cry myself here. I don't want to care for the child.

I don't want to see the result of my husband's infidelity. But I also pity the boy. So, Aita?

Edit: He already got a paternity test and the boy is his. This is one of the questions I asked him earlier

because I'm still hoping that the boy is not actually his and he was just being scammed

and maybe we can move past this but he already confirmed that the boy is his son.

Family reunions are always full of tears, joyful, if you ask. Yet imagine discovering a secret mini-in-law via a nine-year-old DNA surprise? That’s next-level family reunion chaos. Not joyful, though, still full of tears.

Let’s unpack the mess. The husband frames his one-night slip as a lonely blip. He was stressed, she was on a rare girls’ trip, and boom, mistake made. He swears it never happened again, and the coworker vanished from his orbit faster than free snacks at a meeting.

Fast-forward nine years: the boy’s grandparents, too elderly to keep raising him while their daughter serves time, track down Dad with a paternity-tested bundle of joy.

Hubby’s already picking out bunk beds and gushing about anime marathons, while the Redditor processes the betrayal in real time behind a locked bedroom door.

Flip the script to his perspective: guilt morphed into giddy relief. The secret’s out, the test is positive, and suddenly he’s picturing father-son bonding over video games.

He’s not wrong that the child deserves stability. Kids don’t audition for their origin stories. But steamrolling his shell-shocked wife into co-parenting without a single couples’ huddle? That’s like renovating the house while your partner’s still reading the blueprints.

Now zoom out to the bigger picture: infidelity shatters roughly 20-40% of marriages, according to the American Psychological Association, with affairs cited in up to 25% of divorces. A 2023 study from the Institute for Family Studies notes that when children result from affairs, blended-family success hinges on transparent communication and mutual consent – two ingredients conspicuously absent here.

Patrice Le Goy, PhD, LMFT, a Los Angeles–based couples therapist with expertise in affair recovery, tells SELF, “It’s true that the very taboo nature can be intoxicating.”

Her point nails the husband’s “project stress” excuse: a late-night crunch, a sympathetic coworker, and the forbidden spark of crossing lines under the guise of “just this once.” That rush erases boundaries, turning a shared spreadsheet into a secret handshake.

Le Goy’s clinical lens, shaped by years of guiding couples through infidelity, underscores how workplace affairs thrive on adrenaline and proximity. The office becomes a pressure cooker: deadlines breed vulnerability, after-hours texts feel harmless, and suddenly “team player” takes on a whole new meaning.

In this case, the husband’s one-night stand was the perfect storm of isolation (wife away, rare girls’ trip) and temptation dressed as comfort. The real kicker? He buried it for nine years, letting the thrill fade into a ticking time bomb now delivered by elderly grandparents.

Le Goy’s work reminds us that the intoxication isn’t just in the act, it’s in the secrecy that follows, poisoning trust long after the sheets are cold. For this couple, that poison now walks and talks, and loves anime. The husband’s giddy room-makeover plans ignore the hangover his wife is nursing.

Le Goy would likely push for brutal transparency: not just owning the betrayal, but dissecting the thrill that fueled it. Without that reckoning, any talk of “new brother” or “normal life” is just glitter on a fracture. Therapy, legal guardrails, and zero solo decisions – that’s the detox menu if they want a shot at salvage.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some declare NTA and demand the husband move out with the child.

ProfessorDistinct835 − NTA. Your husband massively betrayed you and now he's moving him in? Not cool.

[Reddit User] − No child should be in a home where any potential guardian does not want them.

Traditional-Theme829 − Has he even considered how your kids would react to a sibling whose existence is due to his deception? I don’t see that going over well. He needs...

iamrakes − NTA. I'm sorry this happened to you. Leave the husband, tell him that that child is his responsibility

and that he should find ways to take care of him by himself. Loyalty is not an option, it's required.

Therefore he betrayed your trust over a little loneliness and decided he wanted to hide his affair from you.

Pack his stuff, tell your kids what's happening and that he will be leaving.   Every action has consequences. Whether good or bad.

Sorry you had to go through this. You deserve better.

Others insist the child cannot live where OP refuses to parent.

thirdtryisthecharm − NTA Look your husband owes care to this child. But the child should not be in a home where you will not interact or parent them.

That is fundamentally unfair to the child. I see three possibilities and none of them involve having the child in your home unless your feelings change:

You divorce and he takes primary custody of his son as a single parent. You stay together

and he pays child support so the son can stay with the grandparents or another primary caretaker; he visits his child without you.

Or he surrenders parental rights so the child can be adopted, if that's even possible with the mother in jail but retaining parental right

Some accuse the husband of knowing longer and planning unilaterally.

patriciamarie2020 − Divorce or at least separation. This is not a new adopted child he cheated on you

and created life that he hid from you for at least a month but honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if he knew for longer.

WinterFront1431 − He knew longer. No one would hand a child over at 9 to a parent and people they don't know.

Tell him, he and his child can live elsewhere.

twilight9449 − NTA. Your husband knew for a whole month and is just now telling you.

He's moving the child in and already made plans without you. This is wild. I would be very hurt too.

Others describe the husband’s excitement as tone-deaf and destructive.

EggplantIll4927 − He’s jubilant right now. His dirty shameful secret is out. Phew.

Now he gets to get excited that he has a chance to bond and raise his son! Isn’t that great.

We can convert the guest room so he has his own space and isn’t it just great.

And there you are. Hit w bomb that just went off. The dust hasn’t settled one bit. For you.

He has only care and plans for his new son. Zero concern that he has just destroyed you and his kids. He isn’t the man you know.

Tell him that he needs to move out w his new kid. You are not his stepmother and you’ve agreed to nothing.

You do not want this child in your home. You will not care for or nurture this child and frankly prefer to never see his existence.

Fair? Who cares. Fair flew out the window when he cheated. This has absolutely nothing to do with the child but with your peace

and you do not give him permission to destroy your peace. Counseling next.

You have a ton to work through before you divorce him simply so you can get your rage out.

Some suggest confronting the affair partner for timeline clarity.

Traditional-Theme829 − Maybe it’s just me, but I’d actually go visit the AP in jail and see if she will give you clarity about what happened and when.

The Redditor’s ultimatum – refusing to parent her husband’s affair child – feels raw, not ruthless.

Do you think drawing that boundary protects her sanity, or does the innocent kid deserve a shot at the family he never asked to join? How would you juggle loyalty, betrayal, and a spare bedroom that suddenly feels like a moral minefield?

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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