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Woman’s Bold Demand For Daughter’s Equal Treatment Shocks Grandparents Despite Heartfelt Gift

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 37-year-old single mom’s holiday glow dims amid twinkling lights as her 10-year-old daughter Scarlett clutches a handmade blanket while boyfriend Martin’s preteens, Miley and Joanna, drown in gifts from his folks. Nearly two years in, with cohabitation looming, she craves a blended warmth where Scarlett’s woven in tight, yet exclusions from grandparent spoils and sleepovers sting like frostbite. Solo-parenting sans support, she questions if demanding equal embrace makes her the holiday Grinch.

Reddit’s AITA erupts over this family fracture, fusing her ache for inclusion with his amicable ex-vibes. Posters split: is she entitled for parity, or pushing too soon on bloodlines?

Woman’s demand for equal treatment of her daughter by her boyfriend’s parents stirs debate over blended family dynamics.

Woman’s Bold Demand For Daughter’s Equal Treatment Shocks Grandparents Despite Heartfelt Gift
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for expecting my boyfriends parents to treat my daughter the same as his daughters?'

I (37F) have been dating Martin (39) for what will be 2 years this June.

I have a daughter, Scarlett (10) and he has 2 daughters: Miley (13) and Joanna (12).

I am a single mother to Scarlett. Her father sends me maintenance each month but has never been an active parent and has never met Scarlett.

I also grew up in care so I have no family or anything. Whereas Martin is divorced and shares custody with his ex-wife.

Their custody agreement is very flexible with the girls sometimes staying with him or their mum longer

or often spending times with both parents together. It really bothered me a lot that he was still good friends with his ex-wife

and Martin said if I couldn’t handle the fact he could co-parent well and be amicable with his ex then he would end things.

I like to think I got over my jealousy and that the girls mother and I get on.

Anyway since we’ve been dating a while and have started discussing potentially living together I think it’s only really fair

that Scarlett is more involved and treated the same as Martin’s daughters by his parents.

She met them for the first time a few months ago and has since seen them a few times since but she’s treated virtually like a stranger.

At Christmas, Miley and Joanna were spoilt rotten. They got money, gifts, toys, gift vouchers and makeup.

All they got Scarlett was an embroidered blanket thing Martin’s mother spent weeks knitting apparently with her name on it, two gift vouchers and a doll.

They’ll take Martin’s girls for overnight sleepovers but my kid is excluded.

They say because they don’t know her that well and are uncomfortable looking after her for now.

They’ll buy Joanna and Miley sweets or little trinkets and give them a couple of pounds here and there every so often but as for Scarlett,

they might only give her one thing and that’s it. It’s not fair for Scarlett. T

he last straw was when his parents asked if we would all like to go to Disneyland Paris in Easter with them.

They offered to pay for Martin, the girls and said that they could pay for part of mine and Scarlett’s travel expenses, but that I’d have to pay the rest.

I lost it and told Martin he needs to tell his parents to treat Scarlett like his girls are treated.

It’s not fair to her that she has to watch her sisters being spoilt and she isn’t.

He lashed out in return and said my parents have been nothing but accommodating to Scarlett

by including her in things and getting her stuff at Christmas and so on.

He said I’m incredibly selfish to expect his parents to treat my daughter who they barely know as the same as their grandchildren.

He said that I’m bitter and jealous and it’s not like we’re married or living together.

He used the example of the blanket being a really sweet gift that shows how much his mother cares.

He also said it’s perfectly reasonable for his parents to expect me to pay for my own child to go to Disney

and that my parents don’t need to pay anything at all for us. He also said I’m raising my daughter to not learn the value of the word no

and that she can just be expected to get whatever he wants. He also said that Joanna and Miley are not Scarlett’s sisters,

it’s never been emphasized they were and they do not view Scarlett as that.

He said that I need to ‘get your arse in gear and realize nothing is being done to discriminate against or exclude Scarlett.’ AITA?

ETA: I view Joanna and Miley as bonus daughters, hence why Scarlett calls them her sisters.

Joanna and Miley do not view me as a mother figure in anyway, only as ‘dad’s girlfriend.’ It really hurts but i don’t think im pushy or anything.

I just think of us as a blended family unit whereas Joanna and Miley have said I'm just the woman their dad is dating

and Scarlett is nothing to them family wise. I have tried to get them to involve her whenever they’re doing stuff

and they outright refuse so they only as they put it ‘tolerate her.’ Martin has chewed me out about this before,

claiming I’m trying to insert my daughter in the friendship groups and activities of his daughters

and it greatly upsets Scarlett because she just wants to be included. She doesn’t have a lot of friends and I want Joanna and Miley to be her friends.

I have no family and Scarlett’s fathers family aren’t involved. I’ve always tried my best to spoil her myself

but it seems only fair since we’re part of Martin’s family now that she’s treated the same as Joanna and Miley.

This family fiasco represents a tangled web of family ties. Let’s unpack it! Our Redditor’s heart is in the right place, she wants Scarlett to feel like she belongs in Martin’s world. But demanding his parents treat her daughter, a relative newcomer, like their lifelong grandkids? That’s like expecting a barista to remember your coffee order after one visit.

The knitted blanket, which took weeks to craft, screams thoughtfulness, yet she dismissed it as “just” a gift.  That’s not the vibe of a blended family dream, it’s more like a reality check wrapped in yarn.

On one hand, Scarlett’s exclusion from sleepovers and the uneven gift-giving stings. Kids notice these things, and Scarlett’s likely feeling like the odd one out, especially with no family to lean on.

Our Redditor’s push for fairness comes from a mama-bear instinct to protect her cub. But Martin’s parents aren’t villains twirling mustaches, they’re navigating a new relationship with a child they’ve only known for months.

Expecting them to foot the bill for a Disneyland Paris trip or treat Scarlett like their own grandkids overnight is a tall order, especially when she’s not (yet) part of their family tree.

Martin’s fiery response, that his parents are already bending over backward, has some merit. Offering to cover part of Scarlett’s travel expenses is generous, not stingy.

But his harsh words, like accusing our Redditor of raising an entitled kid, cut deep. The real kicker happens when his daughters don’t see Scarlett as a sister, and pushing that narrative might be building walls instead of bridges. Forcing a blended family vibe without mutual buy-in just doesn’t fit.

The Reddit community are not holding back, calling our Redditor out for sounding entitled. The blanket, they argue, is a heartfelt gesture, not a consolation prize. Demanding equal treatment ignores the natural pace of relationships – grandparents need time to bond, not ultimatums.

Our Redditor’s vision of a blended family is sweet, but her approach might be pushing Martin’s clan away. A softer touch, like fostering organic connections, could work better than expecting instant grandparent-level devotion.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Some say OP is entitled for expecting equal treatment for her daughter.

Dittoheadforever − YTA. It sounds like they're trying, they are giving her thoughtful gifts and offering to help pay for you and Scarlett to go to Disney.

That's pretty generous considering you're not married and they only met Scarlett a few months ago.

Frankly, you sound ungrateful and grabby demanding that they treat her like an instant grandchild and lavish gifts upon her.

It's also rather telling that you say their grandchildren were "spoilt rotten" by their grandparents at Christmas.

It reeks of jealousy and makes we wonder why you want someone to spoil your daughter rotten, too.

MultiRachel − YTA. I can’t imagine an adult saying “all they got my daughter was a super thoughtful knit blanket, and 3 other gifts” that’s… a lot.

They absolutely don’t have to pay anything for your trip to Disneyland. What is your deal?

Are you using Martin and his family for their wealth? I hope your daughter is more grateful than you.

QueenOfTheSnarkness − AITA for expecting my boyfriends parents to spend as much money on my daughter as they do for his daughters?

Fixed that for you. YTA

Others note the short relationship and lack of obligation to treat Scarlett like family.

ReviewOk929 − YTA.

1) you’re not living together.

2) you’re not engaged.

3) you’re obviously not married.

4) they only met your daughter a few months ago.

5) where in any of the above is there anything to indicate parity with their grandchildren they have known all their lives

and know absolutely they will know all their lives?

ionlyreadtitle − Yta. You just said they only met for the first time a few months ago.

So they met for Christmas? And you expect them to shower this random kid with money and gifts when they don’t even know her?

And you also expect them to pay for your and your daughters trip to Paris and Disney?

You are a girlfriend for less than 2 years. You are not married and not even living together. Yta. You are 37. Time to grow up.

Xterradiver − YTA his parents are not your daughter's grandparents and never will be,

even if you and your boyfriend marry, to expect them to treat her as such is unreasonable.

Your boyfriend's children are also not your daughter's sisters, unless he adopts her.

Not everyone will conform to your definition "family", deal with it or move on.

Some criticize OP’s attitude toward the thoughtful gifts and forcing family dynamics.

embopbopbopdoowop − “All they got Scarlett was an embroidered blanket thing Martin’s mother spent weeks knitting apparently… “

That sounds incredibly personal and special. Am I missing something here?

“It’s not fair to her that she has to watch her sisters being spoilt and she isn’t.”

a) They’re not her sisters

b) she is being given gifts and opportunities for holidays, which is incredibly generous

as she’s their son’s girlfriend’s daughter who they just met, not their grandchild and

c) if you framed this accurately, she wouldn’t be thinking this way. She is mirroring your thoughts.

You’re trying to force this family and force acceptance. It’s the surest way to build resentment. Listen to Martin. He’s spot on. YTA

KrombopulosJeff − YTA, They have only known Scarlett for a few months. Of course they are going to treat her differently.

You can't just demand that they feel a certain way. Besides that, they sound like they are treating your daughter pretty well with the gifts

and offering to pay for a portion of your vacation. You sound very entitled and will likely pass that behaviour on to your daughter if you aren't careful.

[Reddit User] − YTA and especially for the comment over the gift his mom made.

She spent ‘weeks’ and you disregard it completely because it’s not designer or fancy. That’s just mean

Super-Breath6350 − I see where you're coming from. But pushing and demanding instead of letting things evolve? Makes YTA.

So, what’s the play here? Our Redditor could dial back the demands and let Scarlett’s bond with Martin’s parents grow naturally. Think less ultimatum, more playdates.

Open chats with Martin about building a unified family vibe without forcing labels like “sisters” could ease tensions.

Reflecting on this saga, it’s like watching a family dinner where everyone’s talking but nobody’s listening.

Was our Redditor’s push for fairness a heartfelt plea or a step too far? How would you navigate this blended-family maze? Drop your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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