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Man Supports Family Through Crisis, Still Affords $3,000 Engagement Ring, Only To Face Fiancée And Mom’s Cheap Verdict

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A hardworking dad, caught in a whirlwind of family support and job uncertainty, thought he’d nailed the perfect proposal with a $3,000 sapphire sparkler for his partner. But her jeweler mom’s brutal “cheap” verdict flipped the script, leaving him dodging accusations of undervaluing his stay-at-home-mom fiancée.

Reddit’s buzzing with this diamond-drama showdown, where love, money, and family expectations collide in a glitzy mess. Is a custom-cut sapphire ring a heartfelt win or a budget betrayal? The internet’s split, dishing out spicy takes on whether this guy’s practicality is romantic or just plain stingy.

A man’s $3,000 engagement ring sparks drama when his fiancée and her mom deem it too cheap.

Man Supports Family Through Crisis, Still Affords $3,000 Engagement Ring, Only To Face Fiancée And Mom’s Cheap Verdict
Not the actual photo.

'AITA for not buying a 10% engagement ring?'

My partner and I have been talking about getting engaged for the last year or so.

I have quite a good job so could easily afford an expensive engagement ring

and if I was following the 10% rule then I should spend around 10-15k on the ring.

However, my parents, sister and nephew have all had Covid this year so I was financially supporting all of them for a while,

my sister has lost her job so I'm still supporting her a bit and my job has announced

that they will be laying off around 150 people next year and while I feel confident that I'm not one of them, I don't want to guarantee it either.

So long story short I spent about 3k on a nice little white gold ring with diamonds and a sapphire (her birthstone).

Initially she was very happy with it until her mother(a jeweller) called it cheap.

She has since given it back to me and accused me of undervaluing her and what she does for me

(she's a SAHM to our 18 month old, and does the majority of the cooking/cleaning because I work long hours).

I feel like s__t tbh, she's refusing to talk to my, her parents are accusing me of using her and treating her like cheap trash.

I've tried to explain my point of view but they won't listen and are demanding an at least 10% ring. AITA for the ring I bought?

Edited to add that why her mum is a jeweller by trade/training, she no longer works in the industry due to an issue with her wrists,

carpel tunnel or something, I'm not 100% sure. So she wasn't in a position to help with the ring.

EDIT: I've answered this several times in the comments so might as well put it here too:

their concerns aren't based on any form of concern about financial insecurity as I pay her to be a SAHM.

She gets $450/week to spend however she likes or save, I happen to know that she has over 40k in her personal savings account.

THIS WAS MY IDEA after the birth of our son when she suggested going back to work, I didn't think it would be a good idea.

Her old job paid her $350/week for full time work. Full time child care/house cleaners would cost around $300-400 depending on the time of year.

To me it made more sense for her to stay at home and bond with our son than to spend the equivalent of her income on childcare/cleaning.

I did discuss ring styles with my partner before buying the ring. She wanted a sapphire surrounded by diamonds like princess Diana's ring.

I also noticed that she preferred pear cut stones so I had a sapphire custom cut into a pear shape and placed into a diamond halo on a white gold...

There is little to no chance that I was over charged because it was done in conjunction with 2 jewelers

and I had it independently appraised for insurance reasons afterwards.

Oof, talk about a proposal gone pear-shaped (pun intended). This poor guy thought he’d scored a romantic touchdown with a custom sapphire ring, only to have it slapped back by his fiancée’s mom like it’s a clearance-rack trinket. Let’s unpack this glittery fiasco.

He’s juggling financial support for his covid-hit family, a shaky job market, and a stay-at-home partner who’s now questioning his love over a $3,000 ring.

That’s no small change, especially when he’s shelling out $450 a week for her to bond with their toddler. The ring’s price tag isn’t really the issue. It’s the expectations clashing like cymbals at a quiet dinner.

On one side, the guy’s logic shines brighter than the ring itself. He’s playing the long game, prioritizing financial security over a flashy status symbol.

With layoffs looming and family members leaning on him, saving cash is smarter than splurging on a 10% rule cooked up by jewelry moguls.

He even tailored the ring to her taste: sapphire, pear-cut, Diana vibes! That’s thoughtfulness, not cheapness.

Plus, he had it appraised, so no one’s getting swindled here. His approach screams, “I love you, but I’m not betting our future on a rock.”

But flip the coin, and you see his fiancée’s side, amplified by her mom’s jeweler-grade shade. As a stay-at-home mom, she’s financially dependent, which can feel like walking a tightrope without a net.

A “cheap” ring might sting like a symbol of her worth, especially when her mom’s whispering that $3,000 screams “bargain bin.”

Her reaction, which is returning the ring feels dramatic, but it’s likely fueled by insecurity and parental pressure, not just greed. If her mom’s framing this as a red flag for his commitment, no wonder she’s spiraling.

Nevertheless, the ring’s price doesn’t measure love, but communication does. This couple needs a heart-to-heart, not a jeweler’s loupe, to align their values.

He’s not the villain for budgeting wisely, but dismissing her feelings risks a deeper cut than any diamond. They’ve got to talk expectations: money, family, and all, before this sparkler spat dulls their future.

Check out how the community responded:

Some say $3,000 is a significant amount for a ring, especially given financial constraints.

themessylittleartist − How the actual f__k is 3k cheap? NTA

someawfulbitch − Whoa. Wtf? People really expect that s__t? ? NTA. Nah. 3k is a NICE ring. That's some...

Nah, I don't wanna trash talk someone I never met, but nah. NTA at all. She was happy til she knew the value. Enough said.

wildwest74 − NTA. If she gave the ring back because she or her mother think $3K is cheap, that tells you everything you need to know.

I say this as someone who spent over $12K on an engagement/custom wedding set.

I could afford it. If I couldn't, my wife would have been more upset that I spent that much.

And she would have been equally thrilled with any smaller ring I could have given her. She is marrying you, not the jewelry, and not her paycheck.

If this is to be a strong marriage, she would understand the value of what that "cheap" ring really means.

And even if you wanted to get her something more extravagant, the wonderful thing about a lifetime commitment is you have plenty of time

to gift her a more expensive and lavish ring once you are better able to afford it.

Others highlight red flags in the fiancée’s and her parents’ focus on the ring’s cost.

emrose138 − NTA and run. If her parents can sway her opinion that much, that’s a huge red flag.

And if she also believes that she’s being de-valued because she was given a 3k ring, then she clearly has issues.

I’m sorry, no matter what your income is, it’s a pandemic, and you’ve clearly been financially affected by it.

Her refusing to acknowledge that is ridiculous.

MsBaseball34 − NTA ... a divorce would have been way more expensive. Don't marry someone who obviously only values monetary things.

[Reddit User] − NTA We're in a global crisis. You're literally supporting your entire family and your partner is also aware of this.

She should be a little more understanding. This is giving me red flags.

Money isn't everything and it's clear that you care about her. Her mother needs to mind her own business.

Some suggest discussing financial priorities and question the ring’s appraisal.

andyblu − NTA: The 10% rule was created by the JEWELRY INDUSTRY. The two of you need to decide what is appropriate for you and your situation.

If you are guilty about it or she feels slighted, then the two of you should agree to re-evaluate your circumstances

at your 5th anniversary and upgrade her ring then.

HemlockAndStone − NTA Her parents are out of line for sure, but you need to be talking to your partner, not them.

From her perspective, she’s got her parents in her ear telling her that a “cheap” ring is indicative of your feelings towards her,

and as a SAHM, she’s pretty dependent on you for money (which I would imagine is a scary position to be in).

You should make it clear that you are thinking about the future and making sure that you both are financially secure,

at a time where that’s not guaranteed, and have a real conversation about how you both expect to handle your finances.

I don’t know your dynamic, but it’s possible the message she’s getting from her parents is that if you are “cheap” now,

it will only be worse when she wants/needs things in the future. If that’s the case, hopefully you can address her concerns.

If she just expects you to spend oodles of money on her, I might reconsider the engagement.

You also need to think about the influence that her parents have over her, and your relationship.

If this is the attitude they take about an engagement ring, I can only imagine how they’ll be about the wedding.

Stoutythrowaway − INFO: Have you had the ring appraised by someone other than the retailer?

You spent $3,000, but if your jeweller would-be mother in law said the ring looks cheap, you may have gotten hosed.

This ring ruckus calls for calm talks, not carat wars. The couple should hash out priorities, security versus sparkle, and set boundaries with meddling in-laws.

A marriage thrives on trust, not price tags. Reflecting on this, I recall a friend who cherished her $500 ring because it came with a promise, not a paycheck.

Was the Redditor’s budget ring a practical win, or did he misjudge his fiancée’s heart? How would you navigate this shiny mess? Drop your thoughts!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jarvis brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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