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Husband Retreats to Inherited Doomsday Bunker for “Breaks” – Pregnant Wife Finally Snaps and Calls Him Out

by Sunny Nguyen
November 14, 2025
in Social Issues

Some families inherit money. Some inherit property.
This guy?
He inherited a hidden, fully buried doomsday bunker built by a paranoid grandfather who believed both the CIA and the KGB were spying on him.

Welcome to one of the wildest AITA stories Reddit has seen in a while – a mix of Fallout, family drama, and one stressed wife who is very pregnant.

Husband Retreats to Inherited Doomsday Bunker for “Breaks” - Pregnant Wife Finally Snaps and Calls Him Out

Here’s The Original Post:

AITA for spending a lot of time in my bunker away from my family?

My grandfather was an incredibly talented man who also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, and he was convinced that the nuclear apocalypse was going to end the human race at some...

so he built his own bunker and then buried the entrance because he was convinced that both the KGB and the CIA were watching him and wanted to keep the...

Yes, he was a crazy man. My dad inherited his house but never lived there, so when I had my first child in 2018 and got married in 2019, my...

The bunker became kind of an urban legend, mostly because my old grandpa used to tell a lot of crazy stories, but out of curiosity I went looking for it...

THE OLD MAN REALLY DID IT! So, thanks to being stuck at home during the uneventful 2020 and 2021, I started remodeling the bunker to look less like a Fallout...

Everyone loves it, especially the kids (My nephews and friend's children). So the house is decorated to my wife's taste,

while I can do whatever I want in the bunker, play gaming, fix computers, set up a whole home server, work from home, etc.

However, lately she has been complaining about me being distant and spending a lot of time there and less time with her and our child.

She is pregnant again, so she said she was worried, but I just promised to spend more time at the house. After a few weeks that wasn't enough for her...

I'm asking for judgment here because I'm trying to be there for my family, but this bunker feels like it's the only thing that's really mine and

where I can actually have a break, but my wife has said she's going to seal the entrance otherwise I might miss the birth and not even notice.

Should I just move all my stuff into the house and forget about it? Am I really being neglectful, or is this just her pregnancy hormones talking?

To be clear, I do help with the house chores and spend time with my son when I'm there and I have an intercom in the bunker so my wife...

ETA: Everybody is asking me this. I spends at least 6 hours at the Bunker on week days. I work there so I think is reasonable, and at least 4...

I forgot to mention: Our son goes to kindergarten so my wife has time to work and sometimes be alone at home.

ETA 2: Guys, I swear I'm taking notes. I'm just trying to understand what I should change about myself and how to talk to my wife about this. Remember that...

My manager allows me to log out early if I finished my work for the day but can't log out if I've been working for less than 6 hours. I...

ETA 3: So many of you are picking up on my language. I would appreciate if you explain calmly why my choice of words is so bad so I dont...

Mini-Update: I had a talk with my wife. Overall I think it went well since she told me everything, but there are so many raw emotions right now and I...

She had no mercy on me but we needed this talk so we can have a clear path for our future together..

UPDATE: I talked to my wife. I asked her to be very honest and I promised to let her talk until she was done.

First of all, it's not just about the time I spend in the bunker now, but she felt completely alone taking care of our little baby while I spent almost...

and building and when it's done I'm just down there. I explained to her that it was basically my office now,

she understood and apologized and then continued to explain herself. I'll just quote the gist of it because we talked for hours.

I haven't been my own person since my first pregnancy, I feel like a doll, every day is the same,

I'm bored, frustrated, angry, just when I thought it might get easier, I get pregnant again, how many years until I can just be me again".

"You have a big hole underground where you can play and not care about the word, I haven't read a book in years, I can't read 2 pages without falling...

"Yes, the house looks nice, but what about a place for me? I don't want a Kindle, I don't want audiobooks to listen to while cooking or driving, I want...

When was the last time I went to a library? When was the last time you gave me something made of real paper?"

(For context, she's always been a bookworm, loves books and the aesthetic of having shelves full of them, but it's true she hasn't read in a long time,

I gave her a Kindle for our anniversary and I pay for her audible subscription, I thought those would be good substitutes, but they're not)

"Stop thinking that a screen can solve everything, I need you with me, I married a human, not a sim, download some emotions.

"I want to write again, but how? When? Will you read my first crappy drafts or just take a look and say it's okay?"

"Can you have our son in the bunker for a few hours a day? He's bored here, he won't be bored down there.". It was hard, but I needed it,...

I'm going to move my gaming consoles into the house and see if I can set up SteamLink to stream games from my gaming PC to our TV or something.

We agreed to go on dates outside the house, and I'm going to take on more responsibilities around the house.

I want to address something. I was told by my parents that I had to "help" with the house, "help" with the kids. But then I come to Reddit and...

You talked a lot about mental load, this was the first time I heard about it, who was supposed to teach me that?

"Helping", not having addictions, being loyal and always being there seemed like what every good husband does, now I realize it was just the bare minimum.

I feel like I have to relearn everything, and it's hard to realize that I'm a bad husband and father for thinking that the bare minimum was all I needed...

I became a reddit villain by being clueless, but I accept that.. I'll see you again soon, thank you all. Update 2: Here at my profile.

My grandfather was an incredibly talented man who also suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, and he was convinced that the nuclear apocalypse was going to end the human race at some...

so he built his own bunker and then buried the entrance because he was convinced that both the KGB and the CIA were watching him and wanted to keep the...

Yes, he was a crazy man. My dad inherited his house but never lived there, so when I had my first child in 2018 and got married in 2019,

my dad made me an incredibly generous offer for the house. I bought computers that were more expensive than the house.

The bunker became kind of an urban legend, mostly because my old grandpa used to tell a lot of crazy stories, but out of curiosity I went looking for it...

So, thanks to being stuck at home during the uneventful 2020 and 2021, I started remodeling the bunker to look less like a Fallout Vault and more like my own...

Everyone loves it, especially the kids (My nephews and friend's children). So the house is decorated to my wife's taste,

while I can do whatever I want in the bunker, play gaming, fix computers, set up a whole home server, work from home, etc.

However, lately she has been complaining about me being distant and spending a lot of time there and less time with her and our child.

She is pregnant again, so she said she was worried, but I just promised to spend more time at the house. After a few weeks that wasn't enough for her...

I'm asking for judgment here because I'm trying to be there for my family, but this bunker feels like it's the only thing that's really mine and where I can...

but my wife has said she's going to seal the entrance otherwise I might miss the birth and not even notice.

Should I just move all my stuff into the house and forget about it? Am I really being neglectful, or is this just her pregnancy hormones talking?

To be clear, I do help with the house chores and spend time with my son when I'm there and I have an intercom in the bunker so my wife...

ETA: Everybody is asking me this. I spends at least 6 hours at the Bunker on week days. I work there so I think is reasonable, and at least 4...

I forgot to mention: Our son goes to kindergarten so my wife has time to work and sometimes be alone at home.

ETA 2: Guys, I swear I'm taking notes. I'm just trying to understand what I should change about myself and how to talk to my wife about this.

Remember that I spend at least 6 hours WORKING, not scratching my belly. My manager allows me to log out early if I finished

my work for the day but can't log out if I've been working for less than 6 hours. I also spend time talking with my team on Slack.

ETA 3: So many of you are picking up on my language. I would appreciate if you explain calmly why my choice of words is so bad so I dont...

Mini-Update: I had a talk with my wife. Overall I think it went well since she told me everything,

but there are so many raw emotions right now and I was sent to sleep in the spare room. She had no mercy on me but we needed this talk...

UPDATE: I talked to my wife. I asked her to be very honest and I promised to let her talk until she was done.

First of all, it's not just about the time I spend in the bunker now, but she felt completely alone taking care of our little baby while I spent almost...

and when it's done I'm just down there. I explained to her that it was basically my office now,

she understood and apologized and then continued to explain herself. I'll just quote the gist of it because we talked for hours.

I haven't been my own person since my first pregnancy, I feel like a doll, every day is the same,

I'm bored, frustrated, angry, just when I thought it might get easier, I get pregnant again, how many years until I can just be me again".

"You have a big hole underground where you can play and not care about the word, I haven't read a book in years, I can't read 2 pages without falling...

"Yes, the house looks nice, but what about a place for me? I don't want a Kindle, I don't want audiobooks to listen to while cooking or driving, I want...

When was the last time I went to a library? When was the last time you gave me something made of real paper?"

(For context, she's always been a bookworm, loves books and the aesthetic of having shelves full of them, but it's true she hasn't read in a long time,

I gave her a Kindle for our anniversary and I pay for her audible subscription, I thought those would be good substitutes, but they're not)

"Stop thinking that a screen can solve everything, I need you with me, I married a human, not a sim, download some emotions.

"I want to write again, but how? When? Will you read my first crappy drafts or just take a look and say it's okay?"

"Can you have our son in the bunker for a few hours a day? He's bored here, he won't be bored down there.". It was hard, but I needed it,...

I'm going to move my gaming consoles into the house and see if I can set up SteamLink to stream games from my gaming PC to our TV or something.

We agreed to go on dates outside the house, and I'm going to take on more responsibilities around the house.

I want to address something. I was told by my parents that I had to "help" with the house, "help" with the kids. But then I come to Reddit and...

You talked a lot about mental load, this was the first time I heard about it, who was supposed to teach me that?

"Helping", not having addictions, being loyal and always being there seemed like what every good husband does, now I realize it was just the bare minimum.

I feel like I have to relearn everything, and it's hard to realize that I'm a bad husband and father for thinking that the bare minimum was all I needed...

I became a reddit villain by being clueless, but I accept that.. I'll see you again soon, thank you all.

The Legacy of the Underground Lair

OP explains that his grandfather was brilliant but suffered from paranoid schizophrenia. Convinced nuclear war was coming, Grandpa built a bunker and then buried the entrance so no one could find it.

Fast-forward years later:

OP gets married (2019), has his first baby (2018), and buys Grandpa’s house from his dad. The bunker has become a legend, but one day OP goes exploring and… finds it.

“THE OLD MAN REALLY DID IT!”

So during the lockdown years of 2020–2021, he rebuilt it into the ultimate man cave: gaming setup, home server, office, all the bells and whistles. Kids love it. Friends love it. Even OP’s nephews think it’s a real-life superhero lair.

Upstairs, the house is decorated to his wife’s taste.
Underground, the bunker is 100% his world.

A Happy Bunker Life… Until It Isn’t

But now, with baby #2 on the way, OP’s wife says he’s becoming too distant. She says she feels like he’s “parenting alone,” and he’s spending less time with her and their child.

OP argues that he:

  • Works 6 hours a day in the bunker (WFH setup)

  • Spends around 4 hours there on weekends

  • Uses an intercom so his wife can call him anytime

  • Helps with chores, picks up their kid from kindergarten sometimes

But his wife’s patience has worn thin. She says she might seal the bunker entrance so he doesn’t “miss the baby being born.”

OP wonders:
Is he actually neglectful, or is it just pregnancy hormones?

Spoiler: Reddit had thoughts. Lots of thoughts.

The Talk That Changed Everything

OP eventually sits down with his wife for a serious, hours-long conversation and what she says is heartbreaking, raw, and honest.

Here are the key things she revealed:

1. She feels she lost herself after motherhood.

“I haven’t been my own person since my first pregnancy. Every day is the same. I feel like a doll.”

2. She feels OP has an escape and she doesn’t.

“You have a big hole underground where you can play and not care about the world. I haven’t read a book in years.”

She used to be a bookworm. The kind who loved bookshelves, libraries, the smell of real paper. OP got her a Kindle and Audible, thinking they were good substitutes — but they weren’t.

“Stop thinking a screen can solve everything. I married a human, not a sim. Download some emotions.”

That line hit Reddit like a meteor.

3. She wants creative space too.

She wants to write again. She wants time alone. She wants room for books. She wants OP to read her drafts and actually discuss them.

4. She needs help, not excuses.

She wants OP to take their son to the bunker for a few hours. She wants to breathe. She wants to feel like a partner, not a single parent.

This conversation broke OP wide open.
He finally understood what “mental load” means – something he says no one ever taught him.

“I thought helping with chores and being loyal was already being a good husband. Now I realize it was the bare minimum.”

He admits he became a “Reddit villain by being clueless,” not malicious.

OP’s New Plan

He’s making big changes:

  • Moving gaming consoles upstairs

  • Setting up SteamLink so the TV becomes his new gaming spot

  • Going on dates OUTSIDE the house

  • Taking on more responsibility with childcare

  • Creating a dedicated space in the house for his wife’s books and writing

  • Letting her have breaks equal to his breaks

  • Bringing their son to the bunker for daddy–son time

  • Learning what “mental load” actually means and how to share it

OP is trying. And that’s important.

Check out how the community responded:

Oh, Reddit did not hold back.

Illustrious-Shirt569 − YTA. Where is your wife’s bunker equivalent and how many hours per week does she get in that space vs. you in your bunker?

Way to go putting 100% of the mental load on your wife in no uncertain terms. ETA: It is absolutely valid for OP to spend his work hours in the...

I believe the problems of balance exist outside the working hours.

TouchGrassRedditor − YTA, not for spending time in the bunker (that sounds so f__king cool I would also be in there all the time lol)

but for considering ignoring your wife who is pretty directly telling you that you aren't spending enough time with your family and being distant. You started a family dude. It's...

Wickedlove7 − Info. You say you like going there so you get a break. Does wife get a break ?

How many hours daily are you spending in it? Edit. Based on reply YTA you're spending 6 hours minimum on a weekday and then four hours on A weekend?!

You also didn't answer me about if your wife gets a break so should I assume she doesn't ?

[Reddit User] − Do you even like your wife? I’m pretty done with men claiming to be active parents, when really, the bare minimum is being done (and you want...

OP, YTA. Your wife is pregnant and you’re relying on her to take the full mental load at home while you get away time?

Do you not see how insanely selfish that is, especially in comparison to everything she is going? Please grow up, your wife and kids deserve a lot more than an...

annedroiid − I have an intercom in the bunker so my wife can just call me if she needs anything

INFO: Why is your wife the de-facto house manager in charge of determining when all the tasks need to be done?

Do you realise how much mental energy it takes to run everything yourself? She shouldn’t have to ask for you to participate in your family.

shadow-foxe − YTA- spend time with some, 'when I'm there" is the key words here. Your SON should be where you spend MOST of your time not as a side...

HCIBSW − YTA Your wife is pregnant with child #2. This isn't just her pregnancy hormones talking?, this is she needs more help with child #1 as she goes through...

and later when there are two little ones she'll need more. Being part of the family includes physically being there. Or at least in shouting distance.

(if one is in a situation where the intercom is out of reach) You get your man cave alone time, does she get any alone time, not just away from...

She needs a space too. She needs breaks too. She needs a partner, not a roommate who lives underground.

North-Brother-2213 − YTA just imagine if she did the same thing. You had to call on her every time you wanted to have her attention rather than just give it...

I get it during work hours maybe but after work she has to call on you like a teenager to remind you that dinner is ready

and you probably retreat right to the bunker after that. Maybe you should have set “bunker hours”. Maybe take her out on a date…

Upstairs-Banana41 − to be clear, I do help with the house chores You do "help"? What do you mean by "help"? It's your responsibility, too. Especially if she is pregnant...

Ambitious-Apples − YTA - One kid and another on the way and you want to hang out in your self-professed man cave gaming.

You have listed a bunch of activities you do there, but shied away from providing the number of hours you spend there. Having an intercom does not make you available.

If she has repeatedly told you her needs and you are ignoring them, no wonder she feels abandoned.

holymoly543 − YTA spending 4-6 hours a day away from your pregnant wife and child because you need a break is too much. Especially since you’re PREGNANT wife indicates that...

Does she get 4 hours away from your child each day too? Are you honestly doing as many chores and child care as she is doing?

Have you taken more chores and child care duties on you now that she’s pregnant? Do you spend quality time with your wife?

It’s hard to imagine that you’re being a good husband to your pregnant wife and father to your child while also spending 4-6 hours “having a break”.

Reddit ruled YTA but not a monster, just a man who needed a wake-up call.

polyhazard − OP is here responding to questions, but not one response to the many, many, many comments asking

“what’s your wife’s bunker equivalent. ” Because it’s the question that shows why YTA, OP, and you know it.

[Reddit User] − YTA while the house may be decorated by your wife, does she have a place to go where she can check out for hours at a time?...

It’s great that you do chores but what about simply have time together? Sounds like you’d rather be in your man cave then with her. Not good.

How about you find a way for her to have a she shed and then it’s equal time away from each other.

If you’re off doing hobbies for three hours, she gets to go off for three hours to do hobbies. This will especially be essential after the baby comes. Right now...

Unable_Ad5655 − It is reasonable for you to use the bunker for your WFH. What is NOT reasonable is spending an additional 4 hours down there on the weekends.

You have a CHILD and are expecting another. Do you do ANYTHING with you wife and child?

Since you spend so much time hiding in the bunker, do you give equal time to your wife to have her own alone time or is she just stuck 24/7...

Because it sounds like you are pretty disengaged from your family and household responsibilities. YTA

Expensive-Pen1112 − I spends at least 6 hours at the Bunker on week days. I work there so I think is reasonable, and at least 4 hours on weekends. INFO:...

What started as one kid yelling “la machine!” while wrecking a perfectly good hairstyle has evolved into a decades-long tradition powered by friendship, dedication, and just the right amount of chaotic pettiness.

And honestly? The world needs more of this kind of harmless mischief. If you ever needed proof that growing older doesn’t mean growing boring, here it is: two 52-year-old men still pulling off the most wholesome, light-hearted “hair-hitman” ritual every Friday the 13th. That’s legendary energy.

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen

Sunny Nguyen writes for DailyHighlight.com, focusing on social issues and the stories that matter most to everyday people. She’s passionate about uncovering voices and experiences that often go unheard, blending empathy with insight in every article. Outside of work, Sunny can be found wandering galleries, sipping coffee while people-watching, or snapping photos of everyday life - always chasing moments that reveal the world in a new light.

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