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Bio Son is Put Last For 16 Years, Parents’ Latest Betrayal is a New Low

by Charles Butler
November 15, 2025
in Social Issues

There are some stories that just stick with you, the kind that make your heart ache for a stranger on the internet. This is one of them. It’s about a 16-year-old boy, the only biological child in a family of adopted kids, who has spent his entire life being the afterthought.

He’s the one who gets cheaper gifts, the one who is told to sacrifice for the “greater good” of the family, and the one whose dreams are always put on the back burner. When he finally got a shot at his own dream, a once-in-a-lifetime school trip, his parents didn’t just move the goalposts. They dismantled the entire field.

And it all came crashing down with a single announcement.

Bio Son is Put Last For 16 Years, Parents' Latest Betrayal is a New Low
Not the actual photo

AITA for walking away from my parents after they told me they're going to adopt my brother's bio sibling?

My parents became foster parents after I (16m) was born. They actually adopted three kids from foster care

before they decided to stop fostering. At the time my parents said they wanted to focus more on their kids.

But really I think they were struggling with four of us and I think near the end fostering became more for the money than anything.

As the oldest and their bio kid, so they didn't worry if I felt like I belonged or not, I had to make more sacrifices than my siblings.

Stuff for me came last. I got less than my siblings too and gifts were cheaper so they could splurge a little for my siblings.

So for Christmas I'd maybe get some clothes and books (and I don't really read) my siblings would get toys and tablets and stuff they loved.

For my birthday I'd get a smaller cake and essentials as gifts again. When I was 12 my grandparents bought me a laptop

for my birthday and my parents pressured me into giving it up so it could be used as a family computer instead of a personal one just for me.

I don't get to go out with my friends often because my parents don't want use gas driving me and they don't want to give me money

to eat or go to a movie or whatever. They also send me to birthdays without a gift for my friends so I have asked my grandparents for money

sometimes to buy a gift for my friends. My parents never send my siblings without gifts for their friends.

My parents wanted me to get a job. But they wanted me to do that so I could put the money into the household.

I pleaded with my parents to find a way to send me on the school's international trip. I got my grandparents to help me

talk them through it. And they agreed. So they started saving. Then a week ago my parents announced that my younger brother's birth mom

is pregnant again and she approached them to do a private adoption so her kids could be raised together. My parents agreed.

So they sat us down and told us and mentioned that they had already spent the money saved for the trip.

They said things will change for a couple of years but we'll have a new member of the family. I was so upset and hurt

and I just walked out. I walked away from my parents and ignored when they called me back. They were so angry about it

and when my grandparents found out they offered to pay for the trip for me, but my parents said they would stop them paying directly

and if they give the money to me/them they will make sure it goes on more important things. They called me childish and petty for walking away like I did....


It’s hard to read that and not feel a knot form in your stomach. Walking out wasn’t childish; it was a desperate cry to be seen. It was the only power he had left in a household where he’s been made to feel powerless for years. This isn’t just about a canceled trip. This is about a 16-year-old boy being told, in the clearest terms possible, that his joy, his experiences, and his one big dream are expendable.

The story is filled with these small, heartbreaking details that paint a picture of profound neglect. Sending him to birthday parties without a gift for his friends, pressuring him to give up a laptop from his grandparents, wanting him to get a job just to pour his earnings back into the family pot that he barely gets to eat from… it’s just one cut after another.

This Goes Way Beyond a Canceled Trip. It’s Parentification.

What this young man is describing is a classic, and deeply damaging, family dynamic called “parentification.” This is where a child is forced to take on adult roles and responsibilities before they’re emotionally or developmentally ready. He’s not seen as their child who needs nurturing; he’s seen as a built-in resource, an extra hand, and a financial contributor.

This kind of emotional neglect is devastatingly common. According to the CDC, emotional neglect is a recognized form of adverse childhood experience (ACE) that can have long-lasting effects. The parents here might believe they are saints for adopting children in need, but their sainthood is being funded by their own son’s childhood.

As one licensed clinical social worker wrote for Choosing Therapy, parentification “disrupts the natural development of a child.” These children are often praised for being “so mature,” but on the inside, they are “anxious, stressed, and resentful.” The OP’s parents have placed him in an impossible position: if he asks for his needs to be met, he’s “petty and childish.” If he stays silent, he disappears.

Check out what the Reddit community had to say.

The verdict was a deafening ‘Not The [Bad Guy],’ with Redditors rallying behind the forgotten son.

Hopstorm - NTA I feel sorry for you. Still, it is first time I hear that foster parents care more

about their foster children than their bio one... Have you ever considered living with your grandparents?

Green_Property3559 - NTA you reacted really maturely I think, not throwing a tantrum in front of your siblings...

It seems to me like you’re the third parent and you have to sacrifice a lot of things.

AngelicBear05 - NTA. Yes, adopting and fostering is a good thing to do,

but it doesn't help anyone to do it at the expense of your pre existing kids.

The_mad_Inari - Nta This is n--lect and is honestly horrible they are neglecting you and your feelings

in favour of your adopted siblings honestly I'd see if you could go stay with your grandparents.

Many users went a step further, urging the teen to stop being quiet and start making some noise.

CrankyWife - Start telling everybody you know about the household dynamics... Tell your teachers and school counselor,

give all your neighbors fodder for gossip... You have been cooperative and quiet, and that has not worked to your favor.

Negative-Block-4365 - Dude - start telling everyone what they are doing, especially the social worker - teachers, church folks, aunts and uncles, neighbors.

Your parents are not only plain wrong but they are counting on your silence to continue to behave this way.

Warm_Water_5480 - I would go with option 1 to start, your parents won't listen to your perspective,

so you're going to have to find someone with some authority who will.

The most common suggestion? Pack a bag and head straight to the grandparents’ house.

[Reddit User] - Your parents really suck - see if your grandparents would be willing to go to court

to get custody of you. If you speak to the judge he might grant your wish.

Gloomy_Ruminant - NTA I think you should stop assuming there's no way you can go live with your grandparents...

You're 16 not 6 - judges are much more likely to take the wishes of the child into consideration at your age.

Trevena_Ice - NTA. And ask your grand parents if it is possible for you to stay with them the next two years.

It is clear that your parents see you as an aditional care taker for the 'poor' adopted children.

How to Cope When You Feel Invisible in Your Own Family

It’s a lonely and desperate place to be, but for any teen who feels like they’re in a similar situation, it’s so important to know that you are not powerless.

First, find your allies. The OP has his grandparents, and that is a lifeline. For others, it might be a school counselor, a favorite teacher, a coach, or the parent of a friend. Talk to a trusted adult who is outside the situation. Their perspective and support can be a game-changer.

Next, start thinking about your exit plan. This isn’t about running away tomorrow; it’s about empowerment. Focus on your grades, explore college scholarships, learn a marketable skill. Having a plan for what happens after you turn 18 gives you a light at the end of the tunnel and something to work towards that is entirely your own. Your future belongs to you, not them.

In The End…

This boy’s story is a painful reminder that good intentions can pave a road to hell for the people closest to you. His parents may feel like they are doing a noble thing by expanding their family, but they are doing so at the cruel and unacceptable cost of their own son’s well-being. He deserves to have a dream, to feel supported, and to be the main character in his own childhood.

What do you think? Did the parents cross a line by using their son’s trip money? Or is he being selfish when a new baby is involved? Let us know in the comments.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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