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Woman Tells Social Worker The Real Reason Her Sister Wants To Foster A Child, And It’s Shocking

by Layla Bui
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

When someone you love makes a questionable decision, do you stay silent or speak up, knowing it could cost you? That’s the dilemma one Redditor faced when her sister, who had treated her terribly in the past, wanted to foster a teenager.

The reason behind the decision was shocking: the sister planned to adopt a teen for free labor, expecting them to babysit her kids and do housework, all while offering very little in return.

After a social worker came knocking, asking for her opinion as a character witness, this Redditor had to decide if telling the truth was worth the fallout. Her answer was clear, but it resulted in an argument and serious family tension. Read on to see how this situation escalated and whether the Redditor’s honesty cost her more than she bargained for.

The family’s drama unraveled when a foster plan turned into a fight over control and manipulation

Woman Tells Social Worker The Real Reason Her Sister Wants To Foster A Child, And It's Shocking
not the actual photo

'AITA for telling a social worker the real reason my sister wants a foster kid?'

I'm a 28F and I have a sister (36F) For the sake of story, I'll just call Jane.

Jane is married to "Bob" and they have two kids, boy and a girl. My niece and nephew are wonderful kids and no trouble at all.

They fight as siblings do but nothing big. I love them. Now for about two years, I did live with my sister.

It was a miserable time that really effected our relationship. She saw me as free labor, money and babysitting.

Even when I managed to get a small part time job, she demanded I hand over nearly half my pay or get out.

It was hell as she took completely advantage of me. I moved out as soon as I could and we have little contact outside of family gatherings.

Now after I moved out, she started complaining how "She has no help with the kids and never gets a break!"

I babysit sometimes but I have made it clear, just cause I am off work, doesn't mean I want an 8 hour day with my niece and nephew.

Anyway she started talking about how she wanted to foster a kid. Not a kid but a teenager. I pressed her for more info on this.

She wants to adopt a teenager so she has a live in babysitter for her kids.

This is her logic: "I want a kid around 16 or 17, you know someone who may have been in the system for awhile.

They can share a room with your nephew (she only has a three 3 bedroom house) or sleep in the garage.

They can help me with house work, chores, cook and help me with my business.(She bakes and sells cookies)

Also babysit the kids so me and Bob can go out sometimes or have some alone time.

They'll be so grateful for a home and won't complain. I won't have to pay them at all.

And then when they turn 18, I can just sign up for another foster kid!

A teenager will be so much easier than a little kid, they will be grateful just to have a roof, food, siblings

if they have been separated from their real ones and clothes."

I was horrified! Told her it was a horrible idea! She didn't listen to me.

She went on with it anyway. About a month ago, a social worker showed up at my apartment to ask me some questions about my sister.

She had put me down as a character witness or something like that.

I immediately told the social worker why my sister really wanted to foster a kid and how she treated me when I lived with her.

The lady thanked me.

My sister called crying saying that she wouldn't be considered for any adoptions or fosters.

The social worker told her that they felt her home and her weren't a good fit.

She asked if I said anything and I told the truth. She went off on me, hung up and we haven't spoken since. She has sent some angry texts.

A couple family members are on her side.

They think foster kids are f__king dogs or something and would be so happy just to have a roof and would gladly do all the housework. So AITA here?

Edit: So wow! I didn't know my post blew up like this till I got home from work!

Thank you everyone for the kind words, messages and awards.

Remember no child is in control of the circumstances that may have landed them in the foster care system.

They are children and still human. They deserve a loving home and care. Do right by a foster kid. And thank you again.

Feel free to message me or chat if you like.

Foster care exists for one primary reason: to provide a safe, stable, nurturing environment for children who cannot stay with their biological families. It is not a resource for extra labor or household help; it’s meant to offer care, support, and protection.

Research shows youth in foster care often carry heavy burdens: trauma, instability, neglect, or abuse. As a result, many have elevated risk for mental health struggles: nearly 50–80% meet criteria for diagnosable mental health or behavioral disorders at some point.

That means foster children need patient, empathetic, supportive, and stable adults; people willing to help them heal, not use them for convenience.

Because of their backgrounds, foster youth benefit most from caregivers who provide emotional safety, predictability, and respect.

Any arrangement that treats a fostered teen as a “live‑in babysitter or free labor” risks re‑traumatizing them, replicating cycles of neglect or exploitation rather than offering genuine refuge.

In this context, OP’s decision to inform the social worker of her sister’s true motivations can be seen as consumer‑protection for children who might enter a home unsuited to their needs. She may have prevented a placement that, despite paperwork and declarations, would have prioritized convenience over children’s welfare.

Foster care isn’t just about giving a kid a roof; it’s about commitment, time, emotional labor, and empathy.

Studies and expert consensus underline that youth in foster care need consistent support, mental‑health care, understanding of trauma, and a stable environment. Without that, the risk of harm (psychological, emotional, developmental) remains high.

In the end, when a child’s past has involved trauma and neglect, and when foster care is meant to offer healing, not exploitation, how can we, as a society and as individuals, ensure that foster placements truly serve as safe homes, and not as convenient labor pools?

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

This group praises OP for stopping a cruel situation where a foster child would be exploited

NothingSinister − NTA. You told the truth and saved a teenager from a terrible life of being used and dumped for another,

which is no way to treat anyone. It is a foster child, not a slave.

Ayafumi − NTA. What you did was the ONLY ethical option.

Not only is this treating another human being like a LITERAL house slave(and a DISPOSABLE one at that),

but older fosters tend to have been through a horrifying amount of abuse that means they often need a lot of help themselves.

Honestly, the plan to have him live in the same room as the younger children is generally not allowed for that exact reason-

its incredibly common for s__ually abused children to repeat the behavior to other children because they don't know better

and its been normalized(and I'm guessing the garage plan wasn't even mentioned to the social worker because that is RIGHT OUT).

Older foster children are generally harder to place exactly because they generally need so much work, but all your sister sees is free labor.

Unless she somehow lucks out with Actual Cinderella, her flippant plan is not only cruel

but exposing her own children to potential physical and s__ual abuse, drugs, whatever horrible things the foster child had to do to survive.

Also, I'd extremely not trust any family member that is on her side.

You shouldn't be celebrated by adopting a child for your own gain-this is a just a genteel version of Victorian men scooping up orphans

and forcing them to work as chimney sweeps and coal miners then discarding them when they get too big to do the work.

turtlegod_1000000000 − Nta! !!!! Too many foster kids end up in homes like that and its digusting!

People should only take in a kid of they're willing to treat them like their own kid and provide a loving and fun home.

You absloutly did the right thing, saving a kid from being subjected to being a maid and nanny.

HeroaDerpina − Holy s__t, NTA. My husband and I have talked about adopting teenagers.

The first thing we talked about was that we weren’t asking them to babysit.

It’s not their job, and foster kids have gone through so much.

Making them a live in, unpaid nanny is just disgusting and your sister should be ashamed of herself.

These commenters condemn the sister’s actions, calling her selfish and harmful to foster children

Zeteon − NTA I'm just going to say it, you sister is a very bad person.

dannyken87 − NTA your sister sounds horrible a Foster child doesn't need a roof over their head

they need a family to love then not to be treated as a slave. You did the right thing.

RabiesPositive − Nta. Wtf is wrong with your sister wtf??

Veridical_Perception − How would your sister even qualify for either adoption or foster?

There are guidelines about things like how much space must be available and number of bedrooms.

NTA although it was a really close call since the only reason you told her was to cause drama.

There was no reason to tell and no one was ever going to find out why she was declined.

I the goal was to protect a vulnerable child, you already had succeeded.

Now, if she tries another tactic, she won't use you as a reference and she may successfully follow through with another crazy scheme.

This group emphasizes that foster care should focus on love and support, not exploiting children

ttassse − NTA I’m so tired of people using the foster care system for their own narcissistic needs, usually it’s money in this case it’s labor.

Just as bad as people who have more children just so they can take care of their siblings etc.

You absolutely did the right thing in making sure no foster kid ever goes into that abusing household.

milee30 − NTA. Not only did you do the right thing for any foster kids who might have ended up in that situation,

you actually also did the right thing for your sis and niblings.

There are some amazing, wonderful, awesome kids in the foster system and there are also a lot of really badly damaged kids

that need a lot of love, counseling and time before they'd be a person you'd want to entrust babysitting to.

Your sis could have received one of the rare ones who's a perfect, caring angel from a loving home who's just been recently orphaned

and so grateful that she has a new home that she happily scrubs the floors and does whatever chores are asked.

Or and more likely, she could get a kid who was badly abused by first her parents, then a series of foster families and other foster kids,

who has extensive psychological issues from this and who brings drugs and other crime into the house,

all while abusing your young niece and nephew and being just generally horrible to be around.

These kids need love, patience and treatment that your sis was obviously not prepared to give so it would have been an awful situation for everybody.

La_Laith − NTA. Kids aren't slaves and shouldn't be treated as such.

I'm glad you got out of living with your sister, because she sounds difficult to live with,

and you absolutely did the right thing to prevent a child from being treated like you did!

PhilTheWeatherman − Of course you're NTA, but you knew that already. So here's your pat on the back. I hope you feel better.

What do you think? Did OP do the right thing in exposing her sister’s true motives, or was she too harsh? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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