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Man Puts Girlfriend Through Money Tests, Then Calls Her A Gold Digger After She Dumps Him

by Layla Bui
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

What happens when someone’s wealth becomes the focus of their relationships? For one Redditor’s brother, a successful man with a lot of money, it led to testing his girlfriend’s intentions in ways that seemed more like manipulation than trust-building.

After six months together, the girlfriend ended things, claiming she couldn’t handle the constant “auditions” to prove her loyalty.

She revealed shocking details about how he tested her with money, from leaving out his bank statements to setting up situations where she had to pay for extravagant dinners.

The Redditor was torn between defending her brother’s actions and calling out his behavior. Keep reading to see how this messy situation played out and whether the brother’s wealthy paranoia was justified or simply toxic.

A woman defends her brother’s ex-girlfriend after he tested her loyalty by leaving financial clues and refusing to buy her gifts

Man Puts Girlfriend Through Money Tests, Then Calls Her A Gold Digger After She Dumps Him
not the actual photo

'Aita for telling my brother he got exactly what he deserved when he pushed his girlfriend away for being a “gold digger”?'

My brother is a very hardworking man and at 27 he is now very wealthy and doing well for himself.

He’s been with this girl for six months and throughout the time we have gotten close because we both like hair, makeup, and shopping.

I never knew there was anything wrong with their relationship except when she texted me last week I saying she would love to hang out

but thinks it’ll be inappropriate because her and my brother broke up.

I asked her why and she said she was sick and tired of “auditioning” to prove she was with him for the right reasons.

She went on to say that my brother is paranoid she’s after his money so he would test her like

1. Leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked it up

2. Going out to eat at high end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet on home at purpose to make her pay the bill

and prove she’s not going out with him for money

3. Never buying her gifts and questioning her when she asks why he doesn’t.

I was shocked so I had to hear my brothers perspective.

We spoke and he told me everything she said was true and that there’s nothing wrong

with making sure his girlfriend is with him for the right reasons.

He said he left his bank statements on the bed and was peeking through the door to see if she would be curious

and when he saw her pick up the papers he knew in his gut she was using him for his money,

so he set up the restaurant idea to see if she would get upset at paying a 500$ bill which she was.

I asked him if he thinks her being an elementary school teacher could’ve contributed to her being upset

at a 500$ bill at a restaurant he wanted to go to and he said no.

He said the straw that broke was when she asked him why he hasn’t bought her a single gift since they’ve started dating,

when she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car and he knew she was just discretely asking him to buy her an expensive gift.

He confronted her and said he thinks she’s with him for his money so she said let me do us both a favor and dumped him and blocked him.

He’s upset about the “gold digging b__ch” and when I laughed he called me an a__hole.

He said I would never understand what’s it’s like being a rich man and being used and I get that concern,

but I told him if he thinks any woman will be okay with his tests and auditions he’s delusional as hell.

If he doesn’t want to be used for his money he should start dating people as wealthy as him or leave lower income

people alone if he’s not going to be genuine in his relationships unless they pass his “test”.

Money and relationships often mix with volatile emotions. When financial status becomes central in a romantic relationship, feelings of mistrust, insecurity, and jealousy tend to rise. This is well documented: money frequently stands out as a major source of conflict between couples.

In that light, the brother’s fear of being “used” for his money isn’t outlandish, research shows wealth disparity and lack of shared financial values often erode trust more than any external threat.

But the methods he chose to protect himself, leaving bank statements out, forcing his girlfriend to pay expensive bills, and withholding gifts, are likely to undermine trust instead. Constant testing and suspicion can breed resentment, emotional distress, and relational dissatisfaction.

Psychologists note that jealousy, when driven by insecurity or perceived threats to self-worth, correlates with relational issues: lowered satisfaction, increased conflict, and even potential aggression.

That means the boyfriend’s behavior, though perhaps meant to protect, may actually push a partner away or create a toxic environment.

On the other hand, healthy relationships tend to rely on open communication about finances, shared values, and respect, rather than tests or “auditions.”

If one partner treats money as their identity or a measure of security, research shows that can lead to loneliness and difficulty forming close, meaningful bonds even if they are financially well‑off.

So while the brother’s fear of being exploited isn’t inherently irrational, his approach appears deeply flawed. By subjecting his girlfriend to tests instead of honest dialogue, he sacrificed the foundation of trust that relationships need.

If genuine connection matters, wealth alone is unlikely to protect it, especially when mistrust, control, and judgment replace empathy.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

This group criticizes the brother for his manipulative behavior and immature tests

Veritas_man − NTA. Sounds like you told your brother the truth. He sounds immature and testing a partner never turns out well.

KyonaAidoneus − NTA, it kinda sounds like HE'S a gold digger tbh. "Testing her" would be taking her out to eat and getting separate tabs,

not making her pay for everything. And leaving his bank statements on the bed and getting pissy that she looks?

HELLO; EVERYONE LOOKS AT PAPERS JUST LEFT ON THEIR BED.

Heck, all of her reactions are NORMAL and he's just acting like a brat.

Evil_Mel − Your brothers tests are flawed. 1. Leaving out his bank statements on their bed and getting upset when she picked it up.

Papers on the bed, hmmm, let me glance at them to see if it's relevant to me & if not, put them out of the way.

2. Going out to eat at high end restaurants he requested and leaving his wallet on home at purpose to make her pay the bill and prove

she’s not going out with him for money If he wanted her to buy dinner, go somewhere she can afford.

No teacher I know would pay $500 for a dinner. That was his biggest a__hole move.

Edit: wasn't done. Ugh 3. Never buying her gifts and questioning her when she asks why he doesn’t.

she bought him a gaming console and new rims for his car Your brother is a massive a__hole.

The items she got him as gifts are not cheap, so I don't know where he gets off saying she is a gold-digger, if anything sounds like he is.

NTA

HellblazerHawk − NTA. I sort of get the desire to see if she was just using him, but his way about doing so would p__s off anyone.

Like not even getting her flowers or something in 6 months?

These commenters point out that the brother is actually the gold digger, exploiting his ex

Comrad1984 − Only a__hole here is the brother. Also -- where does she teach that she can afford game consoles, rims, and $500 dinners??

Clearly she's really responsible with her money, something you'd think the brother would appreciate. .. If he weren't such a shallow asshat.

AlexisRosesHands − Your brother sounds like the gold digger. She has bought him 3 expensive items in 6 month:

1) Gaming console 2) Rims for his car 3) Forced her to pay for a $500 dinner at a restaurant he insisted they eat at.

Just because he has his own money, doesn’t mean he’s not trying to get all of hers too.

Many rich people are rich because they are tight-ass cheapskates who refuse to spend their own money.

NTA. I hope you stay in touch with the ex-girlfriend.

Twolegging − NTA. Your brother sounds extreme, and his tests are completely absurd. You were completely in the right. He needs a reality check.

WayiiTM − NTA. Your brother sounds like a miserly mess of a man.

He got what he deserves and no woman with any self respect is going to suffer that sort of treatment for very long.

You may want to inform your brother that if this is how he sees women and thinks it's appropriate to treat them that way,

that money is all he actually has to offer so he should either straighten himself out,

get good with being alone or learn to love him some gold diggers because that's all his attitude earned him.

This group backs OP for exposing the brother’s flaws and supporting the ex’s escape

ladyk1487 − I could be a millionaire and I’d still be pissed if I had to pay $500 for dinner.

He’s s very delusional for thinking people would be okay with those test.

I feel like nothing she could’ve done would’ve stopped his thoughts of her. NTA

Speedywins − NTA. She isn't a gold digger she's a nice person. Your brother needs to go to therapy for his paranoia

J0sey_W4les_23 − NTA - Something tells me that if your brother is driving a car with rims, he's not as rich as he thinks he is.

Regardless, dude has a terrible relationship with the money he does have

and apparently a pretty low opinion of himself and what he has to offer. It'd be sad if he wasn't such an a__hole.

Nintendo67 − NTA - play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

Your brother played a stupid game and won a stupid prize. Good for his ex for getting away from his toxic ass

These commenters believe the brother’s behavior requires self-reflection and therapy

yourlittlebirdie − NTA. He sounds awful. I can’t imagine why any woman would want to be with him with that terrible personality.

“I’m going to treat women I date like garbage, and if they break up with me, I’ll know it was because they only wanted my money. ” What?

[Reddit User] − Money doesn't buy class. NTA

Cevanne46 − NTA. The sad thing is the only women who will put up with being treated this way will be playing the long game to get his money.

Because someone after a loving, equal long term relationship will want to be treated with respect.

The brother’s paranoia and controlling behavior backfired, pushing his girlfriend away and ultimately ruining their relationship. His fears about being used for his wealth blinded him to the real needs of a healthy partnership: trust, communication, and respect.

While he may have learned a tough lesson, the situation serves as a warning about how toxic testing and insecurity can ruin relationships.

Do you think the brother could have handled this better? Or was he right to test her loyalty? Let us know your thoughts below!

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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