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Teen Refuses To Hide His Moms’ Sexuality From Girlfriend’s Parents, Now She’s Mad At Him

by Leona Pham
December 5, 2025
in Social Issues

Meeting a partner’s parents is already nerve-wracking for most teenagers, but things get even more complicated when someone asks you to bend the truth about your own family.

It can feel strange when people expect you to downplay the people who raised you just to make a first impression smoother. Some situations make you question whether the discomfort is really yours or someone else’s.

That’s exactly where this young Redditor finds himself. He’s excited for his girlfriend’s family dinner and totally on board with meeting them, and his moms are ready too.

But right before the big “meet the parents,” his girlfriend suddenly makes a request that catches him completely off guard. She insists it’s only a small favor, yet it leaves him conflicted and unsure if he’s actually doing something wrong. Scroll down to see why the internet had a lot to say about this one.

A teenager faces pressure from his girlfriend to hide one of his moms before meeting her parents

Teen Refuses To Hide His Moms’ Sexuality From Girlfriend’s Parents, Now She’s Mad At Him
Not the actual photo

'AITA for not wanting to hide that my moms are gay to my girlfriend’s parents?'

I’m 17 and started going out with my girlfriend 7 months ago.

We were already chatting before school went online and I asked asked her out after.

So her parents wants to meet mines when it’s safe to do that and have dinner at their house.

I’m cool with that and my moms are too.

But girlfriend told me that her parents don’t know I have 2 moms and she don’t want them to

because they’re not raging homophobes but they don’t like that.

She just says it will make them feel weird and uncomfortable and asked if only one of my moms could go.

Idk I just don’t see why I gotta lie.

If we stayed together obviously they will find out and also that would be mean to ask my moms if one of them not go.

I never been embarrassed about it or weird so don’t see why it even matters.

My girlfriend has been pissed at me ever since and she just tells me to do it so it’s not uncomfortable for her parents.

Even my friends r saying it’s not a big deal and it’s not like I’ll get grounded for asking my moms to do this.

I’m caught in the middle here cause I don’t wanna lie about my moms or exclude one

them but everyone is acting like I’m being the ass for not doing this thing.

UPDATE: So we broke up. Yesterday since it had already been days of us not talking.

I listened to ur comments and decided to ask how would she feel if I told her only one of her parents could go cause my moms are uncomfortable around...

She basically laughed and said it’s not the same thing because that’s a “normal couple”.

That kinda got me and I asked what’s not normal about my moms.

Think that’s when she saw she fucked up with what she said.

She said she didn’t mean it like that and just knows it would be awkward and weird because her parents don’t like that.

Then I asked her if she would feel like that too. And she didn’t say anything.

We talked for a while and she still wasn’t getting how this would hurt my moms asking them to hide who they are.

Then it got to where she admitted it would also be embarrassing for her parents would know I have two moms.

And yeah I wasn’t gonna take that and told her we’re done.

Not gonna be w someone who’s embarrassed about my moms or doesn’t want others to know. That was it.

My friends haven’t said anything to me yet but think I’m just gonna block them out cause I don’t wanna deal with their shit rn.

I know I said in my comments I was thinking abut asking my moms for advice but since we’re broke up I’m not gonna tell them why.

I only told my moms it wasn’t working out with her so we’re done.

They dont need to why cause I don’t want them to feel is their fault and they really liked my girlfriend.

This would hurt their feelings knowing she was feeling that way.

Its not my first break up but it still really sucks and I’m feeling sad. It is what it is though.

Thanks for everyone’s help and for telling me ur own experiences.

There are moments in young relationships where the pressure to “keep the peace” clashes with the deeper need to be fully seen. For many teenagers, this is the first time they learn that love sometimes demands hiding parts of yourself, and that realization can feel like a quiet betrayal.

In this story, the teen isn’t simply deciding whether to accommodate his girlfriend’s request. He is confronting the emotional cost of pretending his family is something it isn’t, all to avoid someone else’s discomfort.

At the core of this situation lies a collision of identity, fear, and loyalty. The girlfriend is anxious about her parents’ reactions and wants to avoid conflict at all costs. For her, keeping one mom home feels like a small adjustment to prevent an awkward dinner. But for the OP, the request lands much deeper.

He has two loving moms he’s never felt ashamed of and being asked to hide one creates a sense of erasure, as if his family needs to be edited to fit someone else’s worldview.

That emotional tension is what makes the situation feel heavy and personal, even if others around him dismiss it as “not a big deal.”

A fresh perspective emerges when we consider how differently teenagers are taught to handle social pressure. Some are raised to avoid uncomfortable situations, smoothing over conflict even at their own expense.

Others are taught to protect their sense of identity first. And sometimes, these instincts clash inside a relationship.

Teens from more conservative families often fear parental judgment more intensely, while teens from more open households tend to value authenticity strongly. Neither reaction is malicious, but the emotional stakes are far from equal.

Experts highlight how harmful it can be when someone feels pressured to hide meaningful parts of themselves in order to fit others’ expectations. Mayo Clinic notes that when people suppress or alter their identity to avoid tension, it creates “internal conflict” and long-term emotional strain

This insight helps illuminate why OP’s reaction is not stubbornness, it’s self-preservation. By refusing to exclude one of his moms, he is protecting both his identity and the emotional truth of his family. Meanwhile, his girlfriend’s fear is understandable but rooted in avoiding discomfort, not in fairness.

Check out how the community responded:

These commenters highlight the emotional pain OP’s moms would feel if excluded and insist OP should protect his family from such harm

Happy-Kaleidoscope82 − NTA if you refuse to go along with your girlfriend’s idea.

This is the time to learn what kind of person you are. Do you hurt your moms in order to satisfy your girlfriend?

Or do you refuse to hurt your moms even when a pretty girl asks you to?

What are you willing to do to your loved ones? I am a lesbian mom.

My daughter is only five, so not dating anyone yet. I’ll tell you for sure that if she asked me to do such a thing, I’d be hurt.

I went through a long long time in the closet, it hurt a lot, and I’m never hiding again.

My wife, her other mom, got kicked out of the house when she was your age, because her parents were h__ophobic.

Just about any parent-age gay person in the US has some sort of painful story related to it.

By asking your moms to get back in the closet, you’d be hitting them where it hurts.

Your girlfriend doesn’t know what she’s asking.

She’s not thinking any further than “I’ll be so embarrassed introducing my parents to his two moms!

” You need to know better than that, and you need to protect your moms from this sort of pain.

You’re 17. That is old enough to know better.

Morrigan-71 − NTA, but your GF is and so are your friends! it’s not like I’ll get grounded for asking my moms to do this.

No, but their feelings will get hurt and that will be way worse than being grounded.

Let's assume you and your GF stay together, then you'll have to keep one of your moms hidden forever,

she won't be able to attend your wedding, won't be a part of your life if you have children of your own.

Maybe you even loose both your mothers, because they'll refuse to take part in that charade which i cannot blame them for.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Your girlfriend is h__ophobic, full stop.

She's clearly uncomfortable and projecting that onto her parents or, they actually are "raging homophobes" and they've passed that on to her.

You are not the a__hole and you are right to stand up for your family. If she can't deal, she can gift.

PinkedOff − NTA, but your gf and other friends certainly are.

photosbeersandteach − NTA. This is a huge red flag.

Why is it okay for your parents to feel uncomfortable or disrespected, but not her parents?

Especially since her parents are the one’s who are in the wrong.

You should never have to hide a fundamental part of your family identity (race, gender, s__ual orientation) if you don’t want to.

oreganoca − NTA. Bring both your moms. If her parents have a problem with it, that's their problem.

Your girlfriend should give them a heads up and let them know she expects then to behave appropriately,

and you should be prepared to get up and leave if they decide it is appropriate to direct h__ophobic comments towards your moms.

These commenters say the girlfriend’s request exposes values that make the relationship unsustainable

shebanat − NTA. Your girlfriend seems to have an issue with your moms. What if you two have kids and one of them is queer?

Would you need to hide that from her parents too?

This is your family and if she and her family can’t accept that then she’s not the one for you.

ChemicalParfait − NTA. My mom is gay and the second my partner asked if one one of my moms could attend a dinner

that would have been the end of the relationship. That's never, ever, going to be okay with me.

She has shown you where she stands on this. In you can talk to her but honestly it is unlikely to change in my experience.

No-Long5784 − NTA. This a very telling situation of some of your girlfriends values.

There's no spectrum of homophobia, either you are, or you're not.

Saying they're not "raging" is her way of trying to say they don't condone it, point blank.

Your girlfriend is asking you to deny your family and deny part of who you are.

Anyone that does that does not deserve your time, at least in my opinion.

This is a time for you to decide if this is someone you want to continue to have in your life.

Think about this, if you were to get married, would she ask one of your moms to not attend to make her family comfortable?

DecodingSerenity − she don’t want them to because they’re not raging homophobes but they don’t like that.

She just says it will make them feel weird and uncomfortable Sounds like your girlfriend is the homophobe here. NTA. Also, rethink the relationship please.

kdsexologist − NTA and I think you should consider whether this girl really values you if she wants you to hide your family.

She's concerned about how her parents would feel, but she doesn't seem to mind hurting yours.

Your parents may not ground you for asking, but they are likely to be hurt. It doesn't sound like that's something you want.

This group explains that lying or hiding a parent will destroy trust from both sides when the truth eventually comes out

bitternerdette − NTA The embarrassment your gf is fearing now will be 1000% more when they find out you lied about it.

From her parent side, you lied about something major, and arent now trustworthy.

From your parents side, annoyance to the gf about her wanting you to lie. From her parents, anger that your gf pulled this s__t.

From your parents, sadness because you went along with it, they'll be asking if you are ashamed of them.

Thats a whole bunch of crazy that can be avoided.

Comfortable_Stop_717 − NTA. Hiding it will look bad to both sets of parents when it comes out and that you hid it.

Your girlfriend shouldn't hold you responsible for what your parents do or who they are and if it's going to bother her this much, you probably aren't right for each...

These commenters share lived experiences of growing up with two moms and warn OP not to repeat the harm they endured

happylittleclouds4 − Oh hey, it’s my time to shine! I am an 80’s baby who had two Moms growing up

(and I still do, although I am not currently growing up just growing old).

Having two moms back in the day was super unusual, odd, irregular and some might have even said extremely weird.

I was terrified of people finding out and treating me differently.

Obviously when I was little, I had less of an idea that my family made some other families really uncomfortable,

so my friends & classmates from young childhood knew about my moms.

By middle school though, I would go to great pains to conceal the truth- even so far as lying, begging my parents to lie,

and not inviting them to functions where I thought people would see them together.

Suffice to say I have great guilt over this, and even though it was a different time in our culture it was still cruel to treat my parents like they...

I learned the hard way that if you’re getting red flags that someone might not be accepting of your family, it’s for good reason.

I’m grateful that I have my amazing parents in my life, and equally grateful

that I no longer accept anyone who finds them “weird” or has a single mean word to say about my family unit.

Don’t allow anyone in your life who you can’t be yourself around- period. NTA

This commenter advises OP to ask his parents’ perspective, trusting they’ll guide him better than strangers

[Reddit User] − NTA and to be completely honest, ask your parents what they think.

I'm sure they'll give a much more authentic answer that will resonate more with you than any stranger on reddit can.

This story isn’t just about a dinner invite; it’s about whether love should require editing your family to fit someone else’s comfort zone.

Many readers sympathized with the teen for wanting to protect his moms, while others noted how revealing the girlfriend’s reaction was. So what do you think? Was he right to stand firm, or was this an overreaction to a teenage misunderstanding?

And how would you handle it if someone wanted you to “simplify” your family for a night? Share your thoughts below!

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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