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Friend Tells Grieving Mom “God Punished You,” Gets Kicked Out Instantly

by Leona Pham
December 4, 2025
in Social Issues

Some moments reveal who people truly are, especially when emotions are already heavy. One Redditor learned this the hard way when a small gathering with two close friends took a sharp and unexpected turn. What was meant to be a comforting afternoon for a grieving friend became a situation filled with shock, tears, and a sudden confrontation.

After one friend shared her heartbreak, another responded with a comment so startling that the host felt compelled to step in. The fallout was immediate and intense, leaving the host wondering if she had been right to react so strongly, or if she had crossed a line in her attempt to protect someone who was already hurting. Scroll down to see how everything unfolded.

A woman consoles her grieving friend until a third friend claims her tragedy was “God’s punishment”

Friend Tells Grieving Mom “God Punished You,” Gets Kicked Out Instantly
not the actual photo

'AITA for kicking a friend out of my house for what she said?'

Earlier today I had two friends over to watch a game and catch up as social distancing rules eased up a bit in my area (we're all women in our...

One friend, let's call her A, has had a very tough couple of years.

She lost her husband last year (he was on deployment when he passed away), and tragedy struck again

when her 6 year old son passed away from cancer a few months ago.

Needless to say, she was and still is devastated, and this was the first time she felt like hanging out since the loss of her son.

My other friend, let's call her B, is very traditional and religious, while friend A and myself are not religious at all,

but our differing views have never been an issue and we've gotten along just fine with friend B since we met her 4-5 years ago.

Friend B has brought up what she believes are the benefits of religion to us a few times in the past,

but always dropped the subject when we weren't responsive to it.

Neither friend A or I ever held any ill feelings towards her about this as she wasn't too pushy with her beliefs.

On to the situation that took place today.

We were listening to friend A pour her heart out and doing our best to console her while being a shoulder to cry on.

Friend A, through tears, said "I don't know what I did wrong in my life to deserve to lose (her husband and son)".

Instantly, friend B exclaimed "well I can tell you that! You didn't allow god and the bible into your life, so god punished you for it. Can you blame him?"

Friend A just looked at her in awe. I lost it. I yelled at her that what she said was totally uncalled for and unbelievably hurtful.

Then I got up, opened the front door and told her to get the hell out of my house and never contact me again.

She tried to backtrack and say that she wasn't trying to be hurtful, but I wasn't having any of it. I yelled again "just get out of my house right...

Don't make me throw you out like a piece of trash". She huffed and left.

Friend A was bawling at this point, but said thank you. We continued talking and she calmed down after a while.

Looking back now, I realize that I possibly could've handled the situation better.

Both friend A and I never thought friend B would say something like that. Maybe I overreacted, I don't know. AITA?

EDIT: I didn't expect this to take off as much as it did and I really appreciate all the comments, messages, and awards!

I want to clarify why I think I may have overreacted.

I always thought of myself as tolerant and a person who respects other people's views and beliefs (no matter how extreme).

This situation made me react in a way that, in my mind, didn't make me a tolerant person

because I did throw someone out of my house for saying something that I thought was out of line, but it still was part of their belief system.

This is the reason I wanted opinions from the fellow Redditors, as I obviously can't be unbiased here. Thank you all for your input!

OP later posted an update:

It's been a few weeks since the situation happened, so I will start off by saying that (ex)friend B did NOT apologize to friend A for what she said.

Matter of fact, she hasn't reached out to either one of us since then (we also didn't reach out to her).

Unfortunately, B's words from that day really got to friend A.

She struggled with survivors guilt and questioned her upbringing/lifestyle, views on religion, etc.

She doubled her therapy sessions and I spent my free time keeping her company.

A couple of weeks ago, I went over to her place and found her reading a bible and (almost obsessively) flagging pages.

She said she was researching to check if what B told her was true.

She started reading excerpts and telling me her interpretations.

This behavior did scare me a bit, so I suggested she bring this up to her therapist (it was the only thing I could think of to help calm her...

She did talk to the therapist who suggested she perhaps talk to a pastor instead of trying to come up with her own conclusions.

She asked me to go with her, which I did, but told me to just wait for her at the church while she talked to the pastor privately.

After, she said that she felt better and was more convinced that B was full of it. She also seemed calmer, so I believed that conversation did help her.

I was at her house on Friday and she told me that she still thinks about what was said and, although she feels much better after talking to the pastor,

he's only one person and what if he is wrong? I tried to reassure her again and talk through her feelings, but I could tell it was still eating at...

I had a feeling she might spiral again. Then I had an idea.

I told her about the post I made on here and explained why, how it works, etc. (she's not a Reddit user).

I pulled up my original post and asked her to read the comments to show

her how hundreds of people (religious and non-religious) felt about what was said.

We spent the evening reading each comment, she cried, she laughed,

she was surprised and overwhelmed at the amount of support and reassuring words from all these strangers.

I could tell she was more and more relieved as we read.

She has been in a much better state of mind since then, so seeing hundreds of people disagree with B's words definitely had a positive impact on her.

So dear Redditors, thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping my friend with your kind words and reassurance!

She has a long road ahead of her in this grieving process, but she's going strong.

Grief has a way of stripping people down to their most vulnerable truths, and in those moments, compassion matters far more than answers. In this story, the original poster (OP) wasn’t just responding to a rude remark, she was standing between a heartbroken friend and a belief-driven judgment that struck at the rawest part of her pain.

Friend A had already lost her husband and her child, and when she questioned whether she somehow “deserved” her suffering, she was searching for reassurance, not condemnation. OP’s reaction grew from instinctive protection, not hostility.

Emotionally, the clash came from completely different understandings of what comfort looks like. Friend A expressed guilt in a moment of grief. OP responded with empathy.

Friend B, however, interpreted the situation through the lens of her strict religious worldview, where suffering can be seen as divine consequence. To her, she was offering an explanation. To everyone else in the room, she was inflicting immense emotional harm. These conflicting intentions collided at the worst possible moment, making OP’s reaction swift, harsh, and deeply human.

A fresh perspective shows that this wasn’t about religion versus nonreligion; it was about emotional awareness. People who rely heavily on rigid belief systems sometimes default to doctrine instead of empathy, especially when confronted with another person’s overwhelming grief.

They may think they are offering clarity or spiritual truth, but what grieving people actually need is validation and presence. OP’s response echoed a different emotional logic: when someone is already drowning, you don’t hand them a rulebook; you pull them up.

According to Verywell Mind, emotionally insensitive responses often arise when a person lacks the ability to tune into someone else’s emotional state.

Their article on empathy explains that real empathy requires recognizing another person’s perspective and withholding judgment, especially during moments of vulnerability. People who struggle with this often offer “answers” instead of comfort, unintentionally causing pain.

This insight highlights why B’s comment landed so harshly: she gave ideology instead of compassion. OP, meanwhile, responded with protective urgency, stepping in when her grieving friend was unable to defend herself. Her reaction wasn’t intolerance; it was moral clarity.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

These commenters condemned B’s vicious remark and agreed OP was absolutely right to remove her

noseandtoes − NTA I’m just impressed at your restraint. I would have tossed B out the window.

JakeFortune − NTA. I mean, you could have handled the situation better,

but you probably aren't big enough to physically grab B by the collar and belt and throw her 10 feet out into the front yard like in cartoons.

chatondedanger − NTA. Not even a little bit. It was a rhetorical question.

Her self righteous attitude needed adjusting and to be honest, if I were Friend A, friend B wouldn’t have had time to backpedal.

Her comments were rude, distasteful, and downright mean. Bad things happen to everyone regardless of what (if any) religion they follow.

spottieottiealiens − Absolutely NTA, what a disgusting thing to say to a grieving wife/mother. You’re a good friend.

HoneysucklePhony − NTA That was an awful, cruel thing to say and you were right to throw her out.

Using her religion to blame a friend for the death of her child and husband?

No. It would be one thing if she said it was all God's plan or something, because that's at least trying to provide comfort.

DaniCapsFan − What B said is pretty awful. Wow. You didn't overreact.

Throwing out someone who said something so brutally insensitive is the right thing to do. NTA

This group emphasized that B’s behavior was unforgivable, calling her out harshly and insisting OP’s reaction was fully warranted

[Reddit User] − NTA at all - you were completely justified.

What Friend B said was absolutely bang out of order - what a complete and utter a__hole. Who needs enemies when they’ve got friends like that?

Tell your other friends and whatever church Friend B goes to, so that a priest can tell her off and explain the errors of her thinking,

so she never does anything like that again.

(She is not worth being friends with again-what she said is completely unforgivable and a massive smack in the face for someone at their lowest.)

I’m so sorry for Friend A. It made me so teary reading what she has been through. Cannot imagine much worse than what she has been through.

The struggle to continue going on must be i__olerable. She really needs therapy by herself and with a bereavement group too.

Maybe it might help to create some more memorial things to remember her child’s and husband’s memory by?

Hearing the positive impact that loved ones had on other people can help give them light in these dark times.

I hope she is able to heal and find peace. You’re being a good, supportive friend to her. Hopefully there are more like you.

Best of luck to both of you <3

Belf17 − NTA B showed you her true nature and you were right to throw her out.

These commenters explained that B’s religious interpretation was incorrect, unbiblical, and harmful, stressing that true faith wouldn’t blame tragedy on disbelief

mad_dog_the1st − Coming from a guy who studies to be a minister for a number of years. God was not punishing her for anything.

On the contrary God loves her, God loved/loves those she lost, and while we may not understand why those we love die, especially die young, God does.

So B was 100% wrong. Her theology is twisted and entirely not biblical.

God longs for reconciliation through Christ. We aren't perfect. B is TA.

You are being a good friend who is doing what Jesus would do, comforting your friend. I pray your friend finds healing.

I can't imagine losing both my spouse and kid. Keep protecting and show love to A.

Shemishka − A religious person could have said something like, "We don't always understand God's plan," or something like that.

It would reflect her beliefs, but not blame and insult the person she was supposed to be comforting. So self-righteous. Bye bye B. NTA.

Sammysoupcat − NTA. B said something very rude and deserved that kind of reaction for it.

Yes she's religious, and believes in god, but does that mean she has to say something horrible like that?

I've had people die recently too and while I'm religious I would never, ever tell somebody it's because they don't believe in my religion.

You are an amazing friend to A and it's good that you got B out of the group before she inevitably says something worse.

uknowthatiknow − NTA. Lapsed roman catholic here but my understanding is God isn't an i told you so kind of being.

At least you guys now know that she was categorizing and judging your "evil" secular life.

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss and hope she can find her solace soon.

Fishkimo − Woah. WOAH. No, wtf. NTA 100%. I'm a very spiritual person.

And just....what friend B did is completely unacceptable. And also incorrect. I just. ...what in the actual frick.

pyrohydriscence24 − NTA Friend B was an absolute a__hole.

That was incredibly uncalled for and she does not sound like someone who needs to be in your life. Good on you for defending your friend.

This commenter focused on empathy for A’s immense grief and praised OP for protecting her from further emotional harm

Mysterious-Winter616 − I believe in God, I’m spiritual. God doesn’t do that, punish people for not believing in Him or the Bible.

He gave us all free will. Losing a spouse and a child has got to be one of life’s most painful experience. I lost my mom and my world fell...

Even, even if you believed God punishes people like that, why tell someone who’s hurting so badly?

Where’s the love in that? You did the kind thing in getting the uncaring friend out of the house. NTA, you get AWESOME FRIEND AWARD!

But what do you think? Was this an unforgivable breach of empathy, or did the host react too quickly? Share your take below.

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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