Dad Regrets Having Kids, Admits It In Marriage Counseling—Now His Wife Is Furious

Parenting is often portrayed as one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but for some, it’s not as fulfilling as society suggests. One Redditor, in the middle of marriage counseling, shocked his wife when he admitted that, if given the chance, he would not choose fatherhood again.

Despite loving his children and wanting to be there for them, he expressed resentment over the sacrifices he’s had to make, particularly after the arrival of his twins, one of whom struggles with severe behavioral issues.

His wife was furious, and the situation spiraled when she misinterpreted his words, even telling their 6-year-old that “daddy wishes you were never born.” Now, he’s left questioning whether he was wrong for being honest about his feelings or if his wife’s response was an overreaction.

Was he in the wrong for sharing this deep regret in a safe space, or did he cross a line? Keep reading to find out how this emotional situation unfolded.

A man admits to regretting having children during marriage counseling

In many families, parenthood arrives wrapped in quiet hopes and big dreams. Sometimes those hopes clash hard with reality, especially when children struggle with behavioural or neurodevelopmental issues.

The OP’s regret isn’t a denial of love for his kids; it’s a cry of exhaustion, and an honest admission that his life significantly changed in a way he never expected.

The tension here is more than “I had kids and I’m unhappy.” It’s about relentless pressure, emotional strain, and a growing sense of being trapped. Raising children is demanding.

But when one child shows signs of severe behavioural issues, what he describes as probable ADHD (Attention‑Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) and ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), the burden can spiral.

Studies show that parents of kids with ADHD or similar challenges have significantly higher stress levels than parents of neurotypical children, often accompanying exhaustion, anxiety, and mental‑health strain. That toll can erode not only daily emotional energy but also one’s sense of identity and life satisfaction.

It’s easy to judge when someone admits they regret having kids. But there’s another lens: sometimes regret can emerge not from a lack of love, but from trauma, persistent stress, unmet expectations. In other words: regret can be a signal, not a verdict.

From this angle, the OP’s confession may be less about failing as a father and more about being overwhelmed, weary, and emotionally depleted by circumstances beyond what he envisioned.

Experts in parenting psychology offer insight. Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, argues that parenting under stress, especially without proper support or self‑care, often depletes emotional reserves.

She emphasizes that in order to guide children toward emotional regulation and healthy behaviour, parents themselves must maintain emotional balance.

Applied here: the OP’s mental and emotional burnout may make parenthood feel unbearable. His regret could be a signal that he, and perhaps his family system, are in need of external support, therapy, community help, respite, or structured behavioral support for the child.

So while many will instinctively label him “wrong” for regretting children, his honesty exposes deeper truths: parenthood isn’t always the joyful journey people expect.

Sometimes it’s survival. The real issue isn’t the regret itself but the isolation, unmet needs, and lack of support that turn once‑cherished lives into daily drudgery.

If the OP can accept his feelings as valid stress signals, perhaps he and his family, with help, can transform grief and regret into healing, structure, and hope.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

This group emphasized that OP was not a jerk for expressing regret during marriage counseling, which is a safe space for honest communication

These commenters pointed out that while OP’s feelings are valid, the way the comment was delivered could have been harmful to the wife

So, what do you think? Was the man wrong for expressing his regret in therapy, or is his wife overreacting to an emotionally charged confession? Share your thoughts below!