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Coworker Lies About Woman’s Brother – Then Gets Exposed When She Learns He’s Been Dead for Years

by Charles Butler
December 9, 2025
in Social Issues

Workplaces have their small rituals: polite introductions, casual questions, and the harmless exchange of personal details.

Most people glide through these moments without a second thought. But sometimes, a simple attempt to avoid discussing past grief can trigger a storm no one could have predicted.

A 22-year-old woman recently found herself in the center of such a storm, all because she did not immediately disclose that one of her triplet brothers had died when they were just fourteen.

Coworker Lies About Woman’s Brother - Then Gets Exposed When She Learns He’s Been Dead for Years
Not the actual photo

Here’s The Original Story:

'AITA for not telling my coworker my brother was dead and catching her in a terrible lie?'

I (22F) am a triplet with two brothers, but one of my brothers passed away when we were 14.

Whenever anyone new asks if I have any siblings I just say I'm a triplet with 2 brothers.

I'm not trying to trauma dump when doing small talk with someone I'm not very close to. From talking to people in grief support I thought this was relatively common.

I started working at a new job 3 months ago. I like my coworkers but still feel like an outsider to them, so when they asked how many siblings I...

No problems there. One week I didn't have my car so my other triplet brother picked me up every day.

My coworker, "Kate", saw him and thought he was cute and asked me to set them up. I said no because he has a girlfriend.

She asked about my other brother and I just said "He isn't available either". Not a lie, but I guess kind of omission because he's deceased and not just in...

A few weeks later, I hear Kate talking s__t about me to the other coworkers our age (when I'm in the same lunchroom!).

She didn't believe that my other brother was unavailable because she saw that he's single on insta?

I have no clue what she's talking about because he never had an account. My best guess is that she assumed one of my male cousins

(who shares our last name and is in pics with me and my brother) was actually the third triplet.

Who knows, I never engaged with the whispers because I hate confrontation.

A day after that, some of my coworkers come up to me and ask what's wrong with me. I was super confused.

They then told me that my brother had SA allegations against him in college and the real reason I didn't set him up with Kate is

because I knew he was dangerous but still supported him. Apparently Kate said she found all this out from someone who also went to my college (I'm still in the...

I was shocked and just told them that was impossible because my brother died when he was 14.

They didn't believe me and then called Kate over and all 3 of them called me liars.

I showed them pictures of the funeral, pictures of us at his grave, my brother and I holding his picture at our graduations.

Then they all piled on me on called me a liar for not saying my brother was dead. But Kate made up a horrific allegation for no reason?

They are all icing me out and whispers are going around the office. I don't know what they're saying but no one seems to understand my side.

I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I talked about my brother the way I always have. The girls made me feel like I was such a horrible person

and a liar who can't be trusted and I don't understand. My family is all on my side

but they're all fiercely protective of me and especially my deceased brother's memory so it's biased. AITA?

TLDR: I never mentioned my brother is dead to a relatively new coworker. She made SA allegations about him which I disproved since he had already passed by then.

They're all blaming me for not mentioning he passed and not her for making up a crazy story and disrespecting him.

Edit to remove a disclaimer about the throwaway and length of post. Realizing it's just fluff for no reason LOL

A Quiet Omission and the Coworker Who Wouldn’t Let It Go

When the young woman joined her new job three months ago, she did what many grieving people do: she introduced herself without revisiting the worst chapter of her life. She told her coworkers she was a triplet with two brothers, a statement that was true and easier to say than explaining the tragedy behind it.

One coworker, a woman named Kate, took immediate interest. After spotting the remaining brother picking her up from work, she asked if the two could be introduced.

The request was politely declined – once because he had a girlfriend, and once again when she asked about the other brother. “He isn’t available,” the woman replied. A simple, respectful boundary. Nothing more.

But in Kate’s mind, this was the beginning of a mystery she wanted to solve.

Rumors, Whispers, and a Lie Unravels

The situation took a sharp turn when Kate was overheard speaking ill of her colleague in the lunchroom. She insisted the “other brother” must be single because she found someone on Instagram whom she believed was him. (In reality, it was likely a cousin with the same last name.)

Things escalated quickly.

According to the woman, several coworkers soon approached her with concern, claiming they had heard rumors that her brother had been accused of a serious crime in college and that she had deliberately hidden this information.

The claim was impossible.

Her brother died when they were fourteen.

When she said so, she was called a liar.

When she showed the funeral photos, the gravesite, the graduation pictures holding his portrait – they called her a liar again.

Her coworkers insisted she had “misled” them by not announcing his passing at the very first mention of siblings. Meanwhile, no one questioned why Kate had invented a horrifying accusation against someone she had never met.

The Aftermath: Ice-Outs, Gossip, and a Hostile Workplace

The woman now finds herself isolated at work, whispered about, and treated with suspicion – all because she chose not to share her grief with near-strangers. Kate, the one who sparked the chaos, faces no social consequences from the group.

Her family stands behind her. They remind her that she has done nothing wrong – that she lives with loss every day, and no one is owed access to that pain.

Still, she asks the question: Was she wrong not to mention that her brother had died?

Check out how the community responded:

Many insisted she was not responsible for disclosing traumatic history just to satisfy coworker curiosity.

Aromatic-Mushroom-85 − I would make a complaint with your manager/ HR about Kate making false rumours about your family and forcing you to discuss your grief.

F__king hell even if he wasn’t deceased ( May he rest in peace), I’d not want Kate anywhere near me/ my family.

It’s completely up to you and your story to explain, but maybe next time you could word it different to “he’s not available”. But she definitely crazy

NerdySwampWitch40 − NTA. Report Kate to your practice admin manager ASAP (and her flying monkeys).

Stress that the loss of your brother is traumatic, and for that reason, you don't share details of your family and that loss at the office.

That Kate has now made up two different lies and spread them in the office, and she and co-workers have berated you over private information that was none of their...

RandomReddit9791 − You've done nothing wrong. Kate has serious issues and you need to document everything and report her behavior (in writing).

Others pointed out the deeply troubling nature of Kate’s behavior—fabricating criminal accusations out of jealousy.

appleblossom1962 − NTA. Kate is pure scum. If you believe in ghosts, maybe your late brother will come down and haunt her for defaming him and making you so miserable.

Go to your manager, explain the situation and let her know what she said about your late brother. That’s defamation. What kind of person spreads vicious vicious lies?

And what happens if your brother had still been around and she told everybody that he had assaulted somebody? there is a special place in hell for people like her

Medical-Method2929 − NTA. Kate is a drama llama that didn’t get what she wanted, so she decided to create blatant lies in order to feel special.

Talk to your manager about what is going on. Be sure to tell them that Kate asked you to set her up with your brothers,

and then created a hostile work environment when you refused to comply with her request.

Sad_Egg_4264 − I'm 64, and my father was murdered in an attempted robbery at our home when I was 17.

It was huge news in the media at the time but once that died down and I married and didn't have the same surname, that 'interest' or recognition from people...

Over the years if people asked, even if Drs asked re family medical history, I gave relevant medical info but just said that

he died in an accident at age 51. Even people that became my closest friends in later years didn't know until I told them, if and when it felt right.

You absolutely owe no one in telling your personal information and I totally understand where you're coming from and how you've chosen to deal with it over the years.

These disgusting work colleagues deserve everything they get should you decide to proceed,

and I hope you can take up some of the earlier posters suggestions re same.

I'm sorry for the loss of your brother and wish you all the absolute best!

Several commenters urged the woman to report the situation to HR, documenting every detail.

Bsnake12070826 − So you're the bad guy for not saying your brother is dead but Kate is the victim for lying about SA allegations? NTA, find the closest thing to...

Ok_Distribution_2603 − NTA. I have two kids, one died of cancer. I don’t always tell people because, well, f__k em. None of their business.

Report ghouls and assholes if they’re acting like ghouls and assholes to you.

tim_mop1 − NTA I’m realising as I get on in life that if I’m in a situation where I start to question my own sanity, that’s normally an indication that...

This narrative is not “you lied about your brother”, this narrative is “Kate lied about your dead brother being an abuser”.

That is absolutely disgusting, and while your co-workers are currently on her side, I think most rational people will can change their views when confronted with the facts.

I’d start talking to other co workers and ask their thoughts about the situation, explain it exactly as you have here.

Your question to them being “I’m not crazy, it is insane to make up a story like that whoever they’re talking about, right!”,

I think the office sentiment will change pretty quickly. And I’d also maybe report it with HR, if she can lie like that so easily what else is she lying...

Dachshundmom5 − You need to make a complaint with your superior/HR. The behavior is totally inappropriate. It's also not uncommon to just not reference the death. I have 3 sons.

One is dead. It feels wrong to say I have 2 sons simply because only 2 are living. So, to most people, I simply say 3 sons and don't offer...

If they become closer than an acquaintance, eventually, they find out and universally apologize for my loss. I say not to worry and, if appropriate, explain he died X years...

I've never been called a liar. I've never had a hostile reaction. Most people assume it's a hard thing to discuss and respond with kindness.

I would have said all people, but you've just proved AHs arise in any situation.

A Final Reflection

Modern workplaces often pride themselves on empathy and understanding. Yet stories like this remind us that not every office is a safe place for personal truth. Grief is private, delicate, and often locked away simply to make daily life manageable.

The young woman didn’t deceive anyone, she shielded herself. And when pushed, she told the truth, even though it reopened a wound she never wanted colleagues to see.

The lie wasn’t hers.

The harm wasn’t hers.

And the guilt shouldn’t be either.

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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