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Lobbyist Steals a Staffer’s Pen, Loses a $250,000 Grant and a Senate Meeting in Under Five Minutes

by Charles Butler
December 13, 2025
in Social Issues

In politics, power does not always sit behind the biggest desk. Sometimes it sits at the reception counter, next to a stack of folders and a cup of giveaway pens. That is something one overly confident lobbyist learned the hard way after making a stunningly bad decision in a state senate office.

Alex was a junior staffer for a state senator who chaired a powerful budget committee. People came through that office every day asking for funding, favors, or support. Most knew the unspoken rule. Be polite to staff. They are the gatekeepers. One visitor, however, decided that courtesy was optional and entitlement was enough.

All she wanted was a pen. What she ended up losing was a $250,000 opportunity and her reputation.

Lobbyist Steals a Staffer’s Pen, Loses a $250,000 Grant and a Senate Meeting in Under Five Minutes
Not the actual photo

Here is how one stolen pen turned into the most expensive coffee break of Alex’s life.

'The $250,000 pen?'

One of my best friends, "Alex," was a staffer in a (edit: STATE) legislative office.

His boss was head of a key Senate budget committee, so there were always people coming to solicit her support for a particular project or grant or whatever.

Someone representing an arts program that was looking for a $250K grant is waiting (I'll call her "LobbyAnn.) She comes up to the reception desk and asks for a pen.

The Senator keeps giveaway pens with her name on them in stock, reasonably nice ones, so Alex reaches over to the can where the pens are.

LobbiAnn says something along the lines of "well then the Senator will know that I showed up without a pen." (So what?) She looks across the desk.

Alex has some work spread out with his own favorite pen -an expensive one with lapis inlay,and engraved with his name and term of office of a campus organization.

Lobbyann reaches over, snatches it up and drops it in her purse. Alex, who is a very polite person, is completely gobsmacked and then tells LobbyAnn that's his personal pen...

LobbiAnn gives him a contemptuous look and refuses, very rudely - one of the sad/funny things about this story is that she uses a slur that Alex was not sure...

(Asian) or his perceived sexuality (oddly enough given the nature of the stolen object, either slur ended with "ink.")

Alex, confused and deeply upset, sits back down while LobbyAnn flounces back to the waiting area.

In a few minutes the senator comes out to get LobbyAnn. As they're walking past Alex's desk he stands up and says in a very clear voice, "I'm going to...

LobbyAnn stops in her tracks, as does the Senator, and Alex says, calmly, "I may be a (slur) or a (slur), whatever you want to call me, but that pen...

The Senator kind of gasps and says "She stole your lapis pen? She called you a (slur)?"

and then she turns to LobbyAnn, who is frantically fishing around in her purse and stammering something about just borrowing it, and says "Give it back."

Once the pen is back in Alex's hands, the Senator says to Alex "come on back, I need you,"

and turns and walks back into her office, leaving LobbyAnn standing there as the Senator shuts the inner office door in her face.

Then the Senator picks up her purse, smiles a big bright smile and says "Want Starbucks?" So she and Alex go out the side door and across the street.

They could see the front door of the office from the Starbucks. It apparently took LobbyAnn about five minutes to realize how bad she'd fucked up,

and that she was not going to see the Senator that day or any day and that the project she was going to ask for money toward was probably doomed...

(She'd lined up strong support in the House, so it might have made it through, though it was not the kind of project the Senator favored.)

When she came slinking out, she almost certainly saw Alex and the Senator sitting there drinking their drinks..

Alex always ends this story with "That was the best coffee I've ever had.". ​. EDIT thanking the kind souls for the gold and silver! Very kind of you :)....

I have added in the fact that I should have clarified from the start, this was a STATE senator not a U.S. senator. I've worked in and around state politics...

I should also explain better about the pen situation, and here I have to make a few assumptions:

The pens in the cup on the counter were probably campaign swag, in the Senator's campaign colors and with her logo on them.

LobbyAnn probably thought that meeting with a politician using a pen she'd obviously just taken looked bad.

If that was the case, she was focused on a stupid detail that the Senator almost certainly didn't care about. And anyway, the pens were there to be taken.

Also, I kinda tend to doubt that she carefully evaluated Alex's pen, judged it to be valuable and got covetous

(Again, this is my GUESS) she just saw a pen that DIDN'T look like a campaign pen - a blue pen with gold writing on it -

and just grabbed it. Until she picked it up she may well have thought it was plastic.

Once she picked it up, however, it should have been obvious from its weight that it was not a cheap pen.

I do not have a picture of the pen itself (don't even know if Alex still has it), but as I remember it it looked something like this.

FINALLY people are expressing confusion over the description of the word "twink" as a slur, and to me, this is kind of a good thing

because it illustrates how far and how fast we have come in terms of combating sexuality based p__bia.

The point was not that she was calling Alex a particular kind of gay person. It was that she was calling him gay.

(if that was in fact the word she used it might have been the other one, he's of Filipino-Japanese descent).

At the time, working in politics in the deep South, Alex (who was and is in fact gay)

did not feel he had the freedom to be open about his sexuality. Today, he's holding down a pretty good state-government position

and is happily, openly married to a very sweet guy he met right after we graduated college and has been with ever since.

The Moment That Changed Everything

The woman, referred to here as LobbyAnn, arrived early for her meeting. She represented an arts program seeking a sizable grant. While waiting, she approached Alex at the reception desk and asked for a pen.

The senator kept campaign pens on hand for visitors. Alex reached for one. That should have been the end of it.

Instead, LobbyAnn frowned. She made a comment about how the senator would “know” she showed up unprepared if she used a giveaway pen. Then, without asking, she leaned across the desk, grabbed Alex’s personal pen, and dropped it straight into her purse.

This was not a cheap office pen. It was engraved with Alex’s name, inlaid with lapis, and tied to a leadership role he had held in college. It was meaningful. And it was clearly not office property.

Alex froze for a moment, then politely told her it was his personal pen and asked for it back.

She refused.

Worse, she sneered. She muttered a slur, one Alex was not even sure targeted his ethnicity or his sexuality. Then she flounced back to the waiting area, pen still in her purse, as if the conversation was over.

Calling It Out in Public

A few minutes later, the senator emerged to greet her guest. As they passed the desk, Alex stood up.

Calmly. Clearly. Loud enough to be heard.

“I’m going to need my pen back.”

The hallway stopped.

Alex continued, voice steady, explaining that the pen was precious to him and that she had taken it without permission. He repeated the slurs she had used, not angrily, just factually.

The senator’s reaction was immediate. Shock, then anger. She turned to LobbyAnn, who was now frantically digging through her purse, suddenly claiming she was “just borrowing it.”

The senator ordered her to give it back.

Once the pen was returned, the senator did not say another word to LobbyAnn. Instead, she turned to Alex, told him to come with her, picked up her purse, and smiled.

“Want Starbucks?”

Then she walked out a side door with her staffer, leaving LobbyAnn standing alone as the inner office door shut in her face.

The Quietest, Loudest Message

From across the street, Alex and the senator could see the front entrance of the office. They watched LobbyAnn sit there, alone, for several minutes. Slowly, the realization set in.

There would be no meeting. Not today. Probably not ever.

The project she came to pitch might survive on support from the other chamber, but this senator had never favored it. Any chance of winning her backing vanished the moment that pen disappeared into a purse.

When LobbyAnn finally left the building, she likely saw them through the café window. The senator and her staffer, relaxed, talking, sipping coffee.

Alex always ended the story the same way.

“That was the best coffee I’ve ever had.”

Why This Landed So Hard

This story resonated because it highlights a truth many people learn too late. Staffers are not furniture. They are trusted, informed, and often fiercely protected by the people they work for.

LobbyAnn did not lose her opportunity because of a pen. She lost it because she showed exactly who she was when she thought no one important was watching.

The irony is almost poetic. She worried about appearing unprepared. Instead, she revealed entitlement, prejudice, and astonishingly bad judgment in under a minute.

Check out how the community responded:

Many shared stories of similar power dynamics in politics, corporate offices, and creative industries.

Discalced-diapason − This is why you don’t mess with staffers or administrative assistants. They have much more power than a lot of people realise.

66GT350Shelby − I'm a woodworker and one of the items I like making are custom wood pens. I had a co-worker who thought he was bullet proof.

He was always stealing small items, lunches, etc, at work. He was best friends with the bosses son and complaints were usually ignored.

After he had stolen a few of my custom pens, I decided to booby trap his thieving ass.

I made a rather unique pen with a grain that was very distinctive. I knew he would snag it and say it was his like he did with the others.

I put my initials and last 4 of my SSN on the inside of the pen on brass tube, and well as documenting the build with several pics and close...

I left it on my desk and sure enough he snagged it up as he walked by. I confronted him immediately and pretty much frog marched him to the bosses...

I knew he would try to b__lshit his way out of it and he tried to. The boss was believing his lying ass until I showed him the pics on...

Then I took it apart and showed him the marks I made. Then he said he was just borrowing it.

I told my boss either I call the cops or he gets fired for theft. My boss said he would take care of it and suspend him,

he didn't want any negative publicity or anything to show up in the paper. He thought it was too harsh to fire him over something so small.

I decided f__k this place and made plans to leave, and had a better job in less than a month.

I had about 75% of my customers follow me too, which severely impacted his business since I was one of the top 3 salespeople he had.

Mr Thief screwed the pooch hard a few months later when he stole a girls lunch out of the office fridge. She didn't f__k around and called the cops.

She was a type one diabetic and her insulin was also in the bag. He got caught with it at his desk and the s__t hit the fan.

She had documented all the run ins she had had with him and complained about it to the boss who ignored it.

She sued his ass and took him to the cleaners. The thief got hit with felony charges for the d__g theft, harrassment and for retaliation.

I heard he got five years, I was back in the Marines when it went to trial.

umheried − Oh LobbyAnn... wah wah

Others focused on the absurdity of stealing a personalized, engraved pen and thinking it would go unnoticed. 

baked__shrimp − Was it a fountain pen by any chance?

MissMonacle − Who steals a personalized, engraved pen? ! She ought to win a Darwin award for that one.

Also, to assume someone who works as a personal assistant wouldn’t have their boss’ ear and trust. .. the mind literally boggles at the stupidity.

Tamalene − I'm always discovering new depths of people's stupidity. Why am I ever even surprised anymore?

RiflemanLax − Maybe petty, but the very scope of the revenge seems to dial it up a few notches. Very satisfying read.

Several praised the senator’s response, calling it restrained, classy, and devastating in its simplicity.

Mirewen15 − Oh phew, I thought he was going to get fired. Awesome job Senator!

youni89 − wow I didn't know senators were chill enough to just walk across the street to grab starbucks and relax. It's sort of relaxing.

umheried − Just remembered that the pen was engraved with his name. So, she would have easily outed herself as a pen thief to the Senator anyways.

"but then the senator would know I came without a pen" SMH OH, LOBBYANN!

Power is often quieter than people expect. It shows up in loyalty, memory, and who gets invited into the room. LobbyAnn thought she was dealing with someone beneath her. In reality, she was dealing with someone trusted.

No shouting. No threats. Just consequences.

All over a pen.

So was this petty revenge, or simply accountability arriving right on time?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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