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Teen Calls Grandma By The Wrong Name After She Refuses To Use His Real Name For 16 Years

by Leona Pham
December 17, 2025
in Social Issues

For most people, their name is one of the first things they learn to recognize as part of who they are. It carries family history, culture, and sometimes even a story passed down through generations. When someone refuses to use your real name, especially on purpose, it stops feeling like a small mistake and starts feeling personal.

In this case, the original poster is a 16-year-old who has spent his entire life correcting his grandmother, only to be brushed off every single time. While she insists his name is “too hard,” she somehow manages to say everyone else’s just fine.

After years of frustration and being told to let it go, he finally decided to flip the situation around and make a point in a way she couldn’t ignore. Scroll down to see what he did, how his family reacted, and whether Reddit thinks he crossed a line or finally stood up for himself.

One teen finally pushes back after his grandmother refuses to say his real name

Teen Calls Grandma By The Wrong Name After She Refuses To Use His Real Name For 16 Years
Not the actual photo

AITA for calling my grandma by wrong name until she gets my name right?

This has going on since forever so decided to do something.

I’m (16m) half Mexican from my dad’s side and my mom’s side is Scottish.

Ngl most of my mom’s family is high key r__ist and is been problems sometimes growing up.

My grandma on my mom’s side never liked my dad and was happy after they divorced when I was 7.

My names Emiliano and my grandma always complained how hard she tried

to change my parents minds and it’s a shame I got stuck with it.

I’m actually proud of it. My dad told me about the revolutionary I was named after and their history.

But literally my entire life my grandma refuses to say it.

She says it’s “too many syllables” (i got a cousin named Alexandria

and they say the whole name) and always came up with her own names.

She says Leo or once tried to get everyone to call me “Elliot” as a nickname for a while.

Obvious my moms family was for it but my dad refused that cause it’s not my name.

Is always the same thing when I see them.

She’ll call me Leo or whatever.

Even when I correct her she says it’s not a big deal an keeps calling wrong name.

I told my mom I don’t like it but she always say

I’m just not gonna change her mind and no point in fighting it.

So I decided if she not gonna wanna call me

by my actual name in not gonna call her grandma or say her right name.

Is stupid I know but it’s bothering me more that she don’t care

and all my other cousins she says their names fine, no nicknames..

Her name is Susan so I decided to call her Sandy.

Tbh I was scared to say it but that look on her face was worth it lmao.

It wasn’t surprise Pikachu face but it was close.

She said that is not how I address her and it’s “grandma”.

I told her nah I’mma call her sandy from now until she says my actual name. It got awkward.

My mom was serious and my gma got super red in the face.

She started ranting about me being a f__king disrespectful child and this is all my dad influencing me again.

My mom told me I need to apologize immediately but idk what gave me the balls to not do it.

We ended up leaving there house early and my mom didn’t talk to me until we got home.

She say what I did was outta line and I don’t disrespect my elders ever.

She wants me to apologize and I’m grounded until I do.

Haven’t talked to my dad yet about this since it just happened

but I wanted to ask if it was being an a__hole or was it okay for this situation to “insult my grandmother” ?

Names carry more than sound; they carry identity, belonging, and dignity. When someone repeatedly refuses to use the name you claim for yourself, it rarely feels accidental. It feels like being told, again and again, that who you are is inconvenient or unworthy of respect.

In this story, Emiliano wasn’t trying to start a family war. He was responding to years of quiet erasure. His grandmother’s refusal to say his name wasn’t about difficulty or forgetfulness; it was selective. She could pronounce longer, more complex names just fine, just not his.

That pattern matters. Emotionally, Emiliano has been navigating two painful dynamics at once: racialized rejection from part of his family, and the disappointment of a parent who asks him to “let it go” rather than defend himself.

Calling his grandmother “Sandy” wasn’t random disrespect; it was a mirror. For the first time, he made her feel what he’s felt for sixteen years.

From a psychological perspective, many adults interpret respect as something owed upward, from child to elder, rather than something mutual. Teenagers, especially those with mixed cultural identities, often push back when they realize “keeping the peace” requires shrinking themselves.

While some may see Emiliano’s move as petty, others might see it as boundary-setting in the only language that finally got attention.

Adolescents don’t always have power through calm negotiation; sometimes they use symbolism to be heard. His choice forced the family to confront an uncomfortable truth: misnaming is disrespect, unless you only care when it happens to you.

Experts back this up. Psychologist Dr. Derald Wing Sue defines microaggressions as “brief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership.”

Within this framework, repeated behaviors such as misnaming or dismissing someone’s identity can function as microaggressions, not because they are overtly hostile, but because their everyday, repeated nature communicates a negative or marginalizing message.

These exchanges do not require malicious intent to be harmful; their impact comes from accumulation and pattern rather than volume.

Seen through this lens, Emiliano’s action wasn’t about winning an argument. It was about reclaiming agency. He didn’t insult his grandmother’s character or heritage; he challenged a double standard. His refusal to apologize isn’t defiance for its own sake; it’s a refusal to accept that respect only flows one way.

A realistic takeaway here isn’t endless name-calling in return. It’s clarity. Respect for elders doesn’t require tolerating disrespect toward yourself. Sometimes growth begins when a family is forced to sit in discomfort and decide whose identity they’re willing to honor, and whose they’re not.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

These users agreed the grandma’s behavior was long-term disrespect, not forgetfulness

batgod2k14 − What would Emiliano Zapata do? Nta, respect is earned

and names are important to identity. Que viva la raza.

Homer_04_13 − NTA. She has had 16 years to learn your beautiful name and it's not that she can't. It's a choice.

Sometimes your self-respect will seem an affront to others. That's their problem.

sygaila − NTA. So it's "disrespect to the elderly" when you call your grandmother by the wrong name once,

but when she does the same thing to you for sixteen years it's totally fine. Sure.

Also, if I have the pronunciation right, your name is not that hard to pronounce either. ..

This group supported playful or symbolic pushback to highlight the double standard

Jay-Dee-British − Why not call her Abuela or Abuelita? Sort of malicious compliance-like?

NTA btw but I get you don't want to upset your mum. ​ ​

ETA; ty u/highacidcontent for the evil cackle award edit2: Jeez guys, the awards, y'all are loco, lol tyvm

QDKeck − NTA. being an elder doesn’t give someone the right to be disrespectful to you.

Tell Sandy Reddit says hi. Good luck!

Misc-fluff − NTA, you don’t want an nickname and it doesn’t even sound like she has ever tried

to ask if there was a nickname you might like.

But I get you people have mispronounced my names my whole life which is really, really annoying.

I wish I had thought of misnaming someone in return.

Edit: Adults/Elders who don’t respect kids reasonable wishes are entitled and rude.

Also maybe add Miss/Mrs. to the front of ‘Sandy’s’ name to be less rude and show you are the bigger person.

XD Also talk to dad I sure think he might find this low key funny. I sure hope so!

They emphasized that respect must be mutual, regardless of age or family role

Ok-Beginning-5922 − NTA, she has disrespected you your entire life, THAT is not acceptable.

Tell your mother you will no longer be disrespected by your grandma,

and you are disappointed she won't stand up for you.

Her mind can be changed, you and your father AND your mother just have to call her out every time.

Your father will back you on this, and your mother should too.

You do not need to respect people who treat you with disrespect, and their age is irrelevant.

Do not apologise, this is about basic respect which your grandma is not showing you.

Your mother is weak, and an enabler, for allowing this to continue;

she should have shut this down when you were a child.

I'd make it clear to her, if she was my mother,

that I would have nothing to do with my grandma until this is corrected.

You deserve to not have your name disrespected.

Slow_Reserve − As a parent I hate when a kid gets bullied.

To me, what your grandma is doing is bullying you.

Your mom should be standing up for you, not letting her call you a different name.

It doesn't matter if your name is difficult to pronounce, you learn the name and you say it correctly.

Your mom's family is taking out their dislike of your dad on you.

Can you sit down with your mom and tell her how much this bothers you, and why she refuses

to back you up and allow it to continue?

Why their h__red of your dad allows them to treat you this way. Oh, and NTA.

eternal_entropy − NTA. Asking to be called your proper name is not a hard thing.

You've told your grandma this and she's the one refusing.

I would speak with your mum about this again and calmly explain to her in more detail how this makes you feel.

How you feel your grandma is disrespecting you and your heritage

by refusing to use the name you've asked on countless occasions.

Remind your mum that it's hard to respect someone who doesn't offer you the same back.

It's two way street, which is broken and you have tried to rectify previously.

Tell your mum you'll happily apologise when your grandma agrees to start calling you by your actual name.

What started as a disagreement over a name quickly revealed deeper cracks in this family’s dynamic. Many readers sympathized with the teen, noting that names are more than labels; they’re personal history, culture, and self-worth wrapped into one word. Others felt the response, while effective, may complicate already tense relationships.

So what do you think? Was the teen right to mirror the disrespect to finally be heard, or did he cross a line by challenging an elder so directly? At what point does standing up for yourself outweigh keeping the peace? Share your thoughts below, we’re listening.

Leona Pham

Leona Pham

Hi, I'm Leona. I'm a writer for Daily Highlight and have had my work published in a variety of other media outlets. I'm also a New York-based author, and am always interested in new opportunities to share my work with the world. When I'm not writing, I enjoy spending time with my family and friends. Thanks for reading!

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