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“You Can’t Flush”: Man Refuses To Help Rude Neighbors When Their Sewage System Fails

by Charles Butler
December 18, 2025
in Social Issues

There are few things in life as universally frustrating as a Homeowners Association (HOA) with too much time on its hands. Whether it is measuring your grass with a ruler or policing the shade of beige on your mailbox, these organizations are infamous for causing headaches.

But what happens when an HOA picks a fight with someone who isn’t even a member, and then suddenly realizes they need his help?

One Redditor recently found himself in exactly this scenario. After being badgered by a neighboring HOA over trash cans and mowing schedules, the tables turned in a rather fragrant way. A hidden sewer line burst under his property, leaving the HOA residents in a dire situation.

Armed with a healthy dose of petty resolve, the homeowner decided to stand his ground, leading to a neighborhood standoff that has the internet grabbing the popcorn.

The Story

“You Can’t Flush”: Man Refuses To Help Rude Neighbors When Their Sewage System Fails
Not the actual photo

AITA For A S__tty Situation?

I recently moved into a property that backs up to an HOA neighborhood, my yard adjacent to about 4 of theirs.

I am not part of the HOA. The road to my house is a small private road and runs parallel to their private road.

So when I first moved in the county told me my trash pickup location was on their road, mine's not got a good spot for a trash truck to turn...

After about 2 pickups I find a note on my trashcan with the usual HOA BS, can't leave me can on their road, etc. etc. Whatever, I take it to...

Next I try and get hooked up with gas, because electric heating's expensive AF.

Nearest gas line runs down their road, the utility is cool with it but they block the construction.

Fine, I install a tank and shortly thereafter get another note on my door saying the noise from the installation was disturbing and

the tank is an eyesore. It's a buried tank, and you can't even see the cap from the HOA properties. That was that for

around 6 months except a few complaints of me mowing outside of HOA designated mowing hours (but within county hours), until a flat bed with

a backhoe backs into my driveway. I walk out to see what's going on, apparently the sewer connection for the HOA runs under my property,

something's clogged and they need to tear the pipe up to get a look. Long story short, apparently the builder had some handshake deal with

the previous owner about that sewer line and gave up a few bucks to let them run it through the property. No easement on the

deed, nothing in writing. I sent backhoe guy off. Next HOA President comes and knocks on my door, tells me the sewer is causing backup

in several of the houses and no one can use their toilets, shower, run sinks, etc. until it's fixed and rerunning the sewer down their

road instead of across my property is going to cost millions they don't have and take months. I said something like "Man, that sucks for

you guys, hope you get it fixed soon. Sign says no trespassing though, so if you could keep off the property I'd appreciate it.

Have a nice day." I got a letter from their lawyer with a lot of threats a bit later but didn't see much to back

them up legally, figure they can take me to court if they want. They've had some giant loud ass mobile poop tank stuck in someone's

back yard for the past 3 months and I see no signs of new pipe. A few of the HOA residents stopped by and said

the houses were basically unlivable with the pump, could only take 5 minutes showers, only flush #2, can't sleep from the noise, costs a

lot, someone lost a house sale, etc. and they didn't have any part of the HOA stupidity other than living in it. I told

them I feel for them but that HOA's been a pain in my rear since week 1 and I'm not inclined to let them go

driving construction equipment across and digging holes in a yard I worked pretty hard on after the way they've been treating me.

They told me I was an a__hole.. So, am I the a__hole?

We have to admit, there is something deeply satisfying about watching a bully get a taste of their own medicine. The HOA clearly thought they could dictate terms to someone outside their jurisdiction, treating him like a nuisance rather than a neighbor. It is honestly baffling that they blocked his gas line access and then expected him to happily welcome a backhoe into his driveway just a few months later.

While the situation for the residents sounds truly awful, nobody wants to live with plumbing issues, this is a masterclass in the consequences of burning bridges. The homeowner isn’t just being petty; he is protecting his peace and his property after they showed zero respect for either. It’s a harsh lesson for the board: kindness costs nothing, but being rude can cost you millions.

Expert Opinion

This neighborhood drama is a perfect case study in the psychology of “reciprocity.” In social psychology, reciprocity refers to the social norm where we respond to a positive action with another positive action, and a negative one with a negative one.

By blocking the homeowner’s gas line and nitpicking his trash habits, the HOA broke the social contract of good neighborliness. When the power dynamic flipped, the homeowner simply mirrored their behavior.

From a real estate and legal perspective, this is a nightmare scenario known as a “prescriptive easement” dispute. Usually, utility easements are clearly marked on a property deed. If the builder relied on a “handshake deal” with a previous owner, the HOA might legally be out of luck.

According to legal experts at Nolo, an easement usually needs to be written and recorded to be enforceable against a new owner who bought the land without knowledge of it. If the easement wasn’t disclosed during the sale, the OP has significant leverage.

However, while holding the line feels good, prolonged conflict is stressful for everyone. Conflict resolution specialists often point to the “Game Theory” concept of Tit for Tat. While it is effective for preventing someone from taking advantage of you, it can lead to an endless cycle of retaliation if one side doesn’t offer a truce.

Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship researcher, often speaks about the “negative sentiment override,” where one party can do nothing right in the eyes of the other. The HOA has successfully pushed the OP into this zone. For this to end, the HOA needs to offer a genuine repair attempt, likely in the form of a very large check and a heartfelt apology.

Community Opinions

The comment section was absolutely delighted by the shift in power. Users rallied around the OP, offering strategies on how to maximize this newfound leverage.

Several users pointed out that this wasn’t just about revenge; it was a business opportunity.

That_Contribution720 − NTA ​ Tell them if they pay for the unnecessary gas tank they caused, AND let you connect to the gas line where you need it

AND let you have a designated space on their road for your trash day, AND pay for a professional remake of your garden after the work they need, you will...

OkapiEli − This seems like the time to go to a mediator and be very clear on your need for the gas line

(that they will pay for in return for the septic line easement) and the location of your trash can to be at your convenience, in perpetuity. #Use your leverage.

3Heathens_Mom − NTA Agree with earlier posters this could be worth your while to invest in a visit with an attorney

with experience in dealing with both private property and HOA to put together an offer that benefits both parties but most importantly protects you.

Other commenters emphasized that the HOA’s mistake was likely illegal and required immediate professional intervention.

Maddie215 − NTA. You live in the county, not the HOA. There is no easement on your deed so the sewer line is probably against code or illegal

(I have no idea how these property things work). The residents need to take action against the HOA for the unlivable conditions they created...

[Reddit User] − NTA HOAs are awful... talk to a lawyer asap, pretty sure having the pipe etc under your property is illegal…

So that’s why you should talk to a lawyer about suing them or making a deal...

an_imperfect_lady − NTA - They need to completely revamp their sewage system in a manner that does not infringe upon your property,

or they need to negotiate a deal with you that you are okay with. If they can't, well, the phrase tough s__t has never been so apt.

Many simply enjoyed the poetic justice of the situation.

LuvMeLongThyme − Cross post this over on prorevenge. :) You have those people over at the HOA over a barrel...

Whatever they end up settling with you will be better than people moving out, losing property valves, or the “millions” it will cost them to fix things.

Avebury1 − NTA. They played stupid games and have now won the stupid prize.

getjicky − NTA, but the HOA sure is.

One user suggested using this as a golden ticket to move away entirely.

VictorianPlatypus − In your shoes I think I'd be tempted to let the HOA buy me out for a tidy sum over market value.

It would be cheaper for them than rerouting all their sewer, you wouldn't have to live near people who now hate you...

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you ever find yourself in a power struggle with an organization like an HOA, it is important to stay cool and calculating. The thrill of revenge can be potent, but your end goal should be peace of mind (and perhaps financial compensation).

First, document everything. Keep every letter, note, and log of interactions. If a lawyer gets involved, a paper trail proves a pattern of harassment that can invalidate their claims of “necessity.”

Second, consult a property attorney immediately. Do not rely on “handshake deals” or assumptions about what is fair. You need to know exactly what is on your deed. If there is no easement, you hold all the cards.

Finally, consider the long game. As satisfying as it is to say “no,” eventually you still have to live next to these people. Using your leverage to negotiate a fantastic deal, like having them pay for your gas connection, landscaping, and a silence clause, might be sweeter than watching them struggle.

Conclusion

This story is a humorous but tense reminder that good fences make good neighbors, but good manners make better ones. The HOA thought they could bully the “outsider,” only to find themselves up a creek without a paddle.

Do you think the OP is right to let them stew in their own mess, or should he show mercy for the innocent residents caught in the middle?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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