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Exhausted Wife Ends Cooking Dinners After Husband And Daughters Reject Her Meals Constantly

by Jeffrey Stone
December 19, 2025
in Social Issues

A devoted mother slaved over family dinners for two decades, only to face her husband and daughters grimacing, picking at food, or ditching it for frozen alternatives. She customized every dish to their finicky demands, yet complaints about boring repetition never stopped.

The breaking point hit when her latest shepherd’s pie went mostly uneaten, triggering an emotional collapse that lasted through the night. Heartbroken by constant rejection despite her endless efforts, the 41-year-old declared she was done preparing evening meals, handing full responsibility to her stunned husband amid his protests.

A frustrated wife quits cooking dinners after years of dealing with her picky husband and kids.

Exhausted Wife Ends Cooking Dinners After Husband And Daughters Reject Her Meals Constantly
Not the actual photo.

'AITA - Refusing to cook'

I (41F) live with my husband (41M) and daughters (10, 17). Husband is a picky eater, which I've known about for 20 years.

I'm used to making food and having husband and/or kids making faces, gagging, taking an hour to pick at a single serving, or just outright refusing to eat.

My husband is notorious for coming home from work, taking one look at the dinner I've made, and opting for a frozen pizza.

Most of the meals I make cater to their specific wants. Like spaghetti: 10F only eats the plain noodles. 17F eats the noodles with a scrambled egg on top, no...

Husband only eats noodles with a specific brand of tomato sauce with ground beef in it.

If I use any other sauce (even homemade) I'm going to be eating leftovers for a week. So it's just the one recipe of spaghetti.

These days, husband complains that we have a lot of the same meals, over and over.

It's true, but when I've explained WHY that's true, it doesn't seem to sink in.

I can only make a few things that everyone in the family will reliably eat and those get old.

A couple of nights ago I made a shepherd's pie. I used a new recipe with seasoned ground beef (3/3 like), peas (2/3 like),

and tomatoes (1/3 like, 1/3 tolerate) with a turmeric-mashed potato top layer (2/3 will eat mashed potato).

Predictably, 10F ate a single bite then gagged and ended up throwing hers away.

17F ate part of a single bowl then put hers in the trash. Husband came home late and "wasn't hungry".

I was so tired of reactions to my food and putting in the effort for YEARS and it all finally came down on me at once. I burst into tears...

So I told my husband that I was done cooking. From here on out, HE would be responsible for evening meals.

I would still do breakfast for the girls, and lunch when they weren't in school but otherwise it was up to him.

He said "what about when I work late?". I told him he needed to figure it out.

I told him that between him and the girls, I no longer found any joy in cooking and baking,

that I hated the way he and the girls made me feel when they reacted to my food,

that I was tired of the "yuck faces" and refusals to eat when I made something new and that it broke my heart EVERY time.

This morning, he had to work, so he got up early to do some meal prep. He was clearly angry.

He said he doesn't understand why "I said I hated him". He said he "doesn't know what to do" and thinks I'm being unfair and punishing him.

He said I make things that "don't appeal to kids" sometimes and I can't expect them to like it when I make Greek-style lemon-chicken soup (17F enjoyed it, 10F and...

I countered that I make PLENTY of chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, grilled cheese, etc. but that picky or not, there's such a thing as respect for a person's efforts....

This Redditor’s situation highlights how one person’s preferences can ripple through the household, turning a simple dinner into an emotional minefield.

At its core, the issue boils down to mismatched expectations and ingrained habits. The husband, a self-proclaimed picky eater for 20 years, opts for easy alternatives like frozen pizza instead of engaging with what’s prepared.

Meanwhile, the kids mirror some of these behaviors, from gagging at new ingredients to trashing portions uneaten. From the mom’s perspective, she’s been the accommodating chef, customizing dishes to avoid total rejection, yet it leaves her feeling undervalued and drained.

On the flip side, her husband sees her decision to stop cooking as punishment, insisting he “doesn’t know what to do” and pointing out that some experiments, like lemon-chicken soup, flop with the majority.

Motivations here seem rooted in comfort and routine. Picky eating often persists because it’s familiar and low-risk; trying new flavors can feel genuinely unappealing. But when it dominates family dynamics, it shifts the burden unfairly.

Research shows picky eating is common, with prevalence in children ranging from 13% to 22% at various ages in one longitudinal study following kids from toddlerhood to age 11.

Another large cohort found rates peaking around 27.6% at age 3 before declining. In adults, estimates suggest 15–35% across the lifespan experience some level of it, often carrying over from childhood patterns.

This ties into broader family dynamics, where meal preparation traditionally falls heavily on one person, amplifying resentment. Studies indicate picky eating can strain relationships, leading to limited dietary variety and potential nutritional gaps, like lower fruit and vegetable intake persisting into young adulthood.

As pediatric expert Stephen Cook, MD, from Nationwide Children’s Hospital, notes: “A parent or caregiver is never doing a bad job if they have a picky eater at home.” His reassurance underscores that this isn’t a failure of parenting but a common challenge requiring patience.

Experts emphasize neutral strategies over force-feeding battles. Involving everyone in planning or prep can build appreciation, while setting boundaries fosters respect.

For the 17-year-old, encouraging independent cooking preps her for real-world eating. Neutral advice includes rotating responsibilities fairly and focusing on gratitude, simple “thank yous” for effort go far. Open chats outside mealtime about feelings can prevent escalation.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Some people say NTA because the husband and picky children have been ungrateful and rude, so OP is right to stop catering to them.

Rigpa_Dakota − Of course NTA. OP you have the patience of a saint to have cooked all these years and put up with their dismissive comments.

They have to experience what it is like to have to sort out their own meals, to everyone's liking. Then maybe they will be more appreciative of your efforts.

[Reddit User] − NTA. This was exhausting and irritating to just READ, I can't imagine actually living it. I would've done this years ago, honestly.

And it's not even that they're picky, really, it's that they're so damn rude about it AND your husband has the audacity to complain about the lack of variety in...

No, it's time for him to deal with feeding the the picky eaters in the house including himself.

I suggest you start finding some delicious recipes for two for you to make, so you can cook and eat exactly what you want with a meal leftover, and no...

Aggravating-Film-221 − NTA. Damn, you are so nice, bet you're a real people pleaser too. Your husband and children aren't picky eaters, they're AH's.

Stop wasting your time catering to them. Fix smaller dinners that you like, if they don't eat them, that's their choice. Just like it's your choice to stop being a...

Some people say NTA and suggest the picky husband and older daughter should cook for themselves or learn to eat what’s served.

PsychGirl − If he can afford to be that picky, he needs to cater to himself.  You’re not a short-order cook, and no one is helping you. NTA.

He knows what things he will eat; he should also know how to prepare them, not just how to make faces at what you prepare.

[Reddit User] − NTA. Since your husband is so picky, he should man up and cook for himself and the kids.

Better yet, get the 17 year old to start cooking her own meals too. I’d personally tell him if I was around that he and the children caused this

and they are now reaping what they sowed. Do not cook for them again until it sinks in.

Ok_Leg_6429 − 17 year old needs to learn to cook. When she goes to college or out into the world nobody is going to give a damn about her picky...

Some people share stories of stopping cooking for picky partners and say it improved the situation.

Ok_Homework8692 − NTA went through this with my husband and I stopped cooking for him - best decision ever.

I started making double of what I eat , he was given the choice of eat what's there or cook it yourself - if he doesn't eat it leftovers for...

He got tired of peanut butter sandwiches and started eating what I eat. If he complained I just said then don't eat it.

He decided it was easier to not be picky and he now cooks in turn. Make what you want, put it down

and if they hate it they can make it themselves- but you'll probably have to have a back up for the 10 yr old.

And the 10 yr old is most likely following dad's example - stop catering to them!

SquishMama72 − NTA at all! ! Lots of people would’ve refused to cook anymore, except maybe for the youngest, years ago.

He’s a grown-up, he can figure it out and potentially deal with the same frustration you have faced all these years. Good luck to him.

Some people blame the husband’s picky behavior for teaching the children to be picky and say he should fix it.

EchoAndroid − NTA. Barring any sensory issues from your children --and it doesn't sound like this is the case--this is 100% a learned behaviour from your husband.

His behaviour caused this problem, he can put in the effort to solve it, especially with the level of disrespect he's given you.

Some people lean NTA but want more info on work/childcare division before fully judging responsibilities.

Ruby_Solitaire − Without detail, I'm leaning toward NTA. Hubs and 17f can absolutely cook for themselves at this point,

and unless you don't work at all, and you are the homemaker for your family, the OTHER PARENT has some feeding responsibilities towards their picky-eating children themselves.

Details I'm interested in are you and your husband's work schedules and other household/family chores, INCLUDING any child care/transport.

If you're a f/t homemaker, I do view not cooking as not doing part of your job, but if you have ANY outside employment your husband shouldn't put the entire...

[EDIT: Rereading this, I see where people are misunderstanding my phrasing, and I apologize for being unclear.

I'm not gonna edit the original, but I meant that ONLY in a full and agreed-to "home/out-of-home" division of labor between partners

could I imagine one partner having zero cooking responsibility for their own kids that they live with.

In that sort of agreement on labor division of labor, cooking MAY have well been a pre-agreed responsibility about taking care of children's basic needs.

IF that was the case (it is not) and if her job were to take care of the home, and that included feeding the minor kids,

and she's literally at the house all the time, and feeding the kids was what she chose to stop doing to balance her workload

(as opposed to, say, scrubbing the bathtub or something less vital-to-life)

and she knew her husband was physically not home to cook for the children, that VERY SPECIFIC SITUATION would have made it an ESH.

I brought up if she worked because that was a simple way to rule that one super-specific possibility out and gain insight that could help her find ways to improve...

This Redditor’s stand shines a light on the emotional toll of unbalanced household roles, reminding us that appreciation and teamwork make meals meaningful. Stepping back might just teach everyone the value of what’s on the table.

Do you think her decision to hand over dinner duties was a fair reset, or too abrupt amid the family’s habits? How would you encourage gratitude and variety without constant custom orders? Drop your thoughts below, we’re all ears!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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