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He Demands She Stop Working at 3 And Greet Him at The Door Like a Dog

by Charles Butler
November 11, 2025
in Social Issues

A woman’s post about a seemingly small disagreement with her husband has ignited a firestorm on Reddit. The issue started with her not greeting him at the door when he comes home. But as she peeled back the layers of their life, the community realized this was not about a simple hello.

This story is a deep dive into a relationship dynamic that feels shockingly archaic. Her husband’s expectations involve her stopping her six-figure job early, doing chores on company time, and being “dressed up and ready” for him by 3 PM. His demands have left people stunned, and more than a little concerned for her safety and well-being.

You’re not going to believe this one:

He Demands She Stop Working at 3 And Greet Him at The Door Like a Dog
Not the actual photo

AITA for not greeting my husband at the door?

When your spouse comes home after being at work and you are still working, do you get up and greet them at the door?

Context: I work from home. I'm SUPPOSED to work 8am-430pm but my husband always pressures me to log off at 3.

He works from home sometimes but sometimes he is out during the day for anywhere from 1-6 hours. He always gets mad that I do not greet him at the...

that I am not dressed up and ready for intimacy at 3pm, and if I work any amount of time past 3 (even 15 minutes) he says I am a...

He also asks me to do some housework during my working hours (nothing crazy, just vacuuming, switching laundry, emptying the dishwasher)

but if I can't get to it because I'm in meetings all day or extremely busy at work he will get mad, even if I offer to do it after...

He also said I'm being ridiculous because I don't even have to work (he makes a ridiculous amount of money) but I LIKE my job, and love my coworkers,

and I've been promoted several times and make 6 figures and just never want to be completely dependent on anyone because you never know what will happen.

Also, I'm genuinely not the stay at home mom type, I would go bonkers.

He is in sales so if he's not out at a lunch with a client or something he's home and he admittedly has a lot of down time when he...

He says he only actually "works" a few hours a day. Anyway, my rationale for not greeting him at the door when he comes home is:

Sometimes I'm in a meeting or on a call Sometimes I genuinely don't hear him come in When I do hear him and I'm not on a call I'll call...

We live together. I see him everyday. Why doesn't he just come greet me? AITA? Is this something other couples do?

Okay, let’s just get this out of the way. My jaw is on the floor. This story starts with such a simple, almost silly question, and then it snowballs into a giant, flashing, neon red flag. This isn’t about greeting someone at the door. It’s about a man who seems to fundamentally misunderstand, or willfully disrespect, the fact that his wife is a professional with a successful career.

His comments are dripping with a sense of ownership. He devalues her job, pressures her to abandon her professional obligations for his immediate needs, and frames her career ambitions as a personal failing. The line about being “dressed up and ready for intimacy at 3pm” is chilling. He doesn’t see her as a partner with her own life. He sees her as a service provider who should be available at his beck and call.

A Modern Career Meets an Archaic Mindset

What we are witnessing here is a dangerous pattern known as coercive control. It is subtle, insidious, and often disguised as care or concern. The husband isn’t just “needy.” He’s actively trying to sabotage her career and undermine her financial independence.

This pattern is terrifyingly common. According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence, financial abuse is a tactic used in 99% of domestic violence cases. It includes behaviors designed to limit a partner’s access to assets or make them financially dependent. The husband’s comments, “you don’t even have to work” and calling her a “workaholic” for sticking to her schedule, are textbook attempts to isolate her and make her reliant on him.

Coercive control expert Dr. Lisa Aronson Fontes describes it as a “pattern of behavior that interferes with a person’s liberty and autonomy.” The husband’s list of demands isn’t just a difference in opinion; it’s an infringement on her liberty to work, to have a career, and to exist as an independent person outside of his immediate desires. He doesn’t want a wife; he wants an accessory.

The internet came out in full force to support the wife.

Many users pointed out the glaringly obvious: he wants a pet, not a partner.

ThrowRAzilla - Are you a puppy? Do you drink from toilets and chew on shoes? ...Tell him you'll greet him at the door when he's making 10 figures.

Afraid-Tea-5745 - Are you a dog? When my bf comes home and I am wasting time on Reddit on the couch, he actually comes to kiss me hello... who the...

workit42 - NTA. Dogs greet you at the door. Your life and career are your own... Until 4:30, when he should greet you, tail wagging.

A massive wave of comments identified his behavior as controlling and stuck in a bygone era.

[Reddit User] - Him wanting you to greet him at the door and be dressed for intimacy smacks of 1950s patriarchy. This is absolutely not what a healthy relationship looks...

First-Philosophy-451 - "Dressed up and ready for intimacy at 3pm" made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Good god this man is a giant 🚩... It sounds like he wants you to quit your job to be a 1920s housewife.

Ritocas3 - NTA - wow! sounds like he’s a controlling needy freak stuck in the 50s! It’s all about you serving him and being beneath him.

Kaalandra - NTA. Girl, he wants you to be pampered and ready for intimacy, standing by the door at 3pm sharp everyday... He doesn't want a wife, he wants a...

And of course, many people cut right to the chase with some very direct advice.

tealbegonia - Holy s--t 🚩🚩🚩 NTA This behaviour will only get worse.

Due_Perspective1837 - WOAH WHAAAAAAAT... 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩⚠️⚠️⚠️ DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE! !!

njazrael71 - Your husband is the a--hole and you honestly need to drop that loser. He obviously thinks that you are his property rather than his wife and equal.

SpecialFun8946 - I beg you, leave this man. He is trying to make you submit to his every whim, he wants to control you... Be safe, and choose yourself.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

If you find yourself in a relationship where your partner is actively trying to hinder your career or control your time, it’s crucial to take it seriously. This isn’t just a difference of opinion; it is a serious sign of disrespect and a potential pattern of control.

First, reinforce your boundaries clearly and calmly. You don’t have to get into a fight. A simple, firm statement like, “My work hours are from 8 to 4:30. I cannot stop what I’m doing in the middle of a meeting. We can connect when my workday is over,” sets a non-negotiable expectation.

Most importantly, protect your financial independence. The OP is incredibly smart to recognize the importance of her own career. Do not give up your job or allow a partner to control your access to money. If the controlling behavior continues or escalates, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a domestic abuse hotline for support and to create a safety plan.

This Is More Than Just a Disagreement

In the end, this isn’t a story about a greeting. It’s a story about a woman who is building a successful life for herself and a man who is trying to tear it down. The overwhelming consensus from the internet is that her husband is the one who is being ridiculous, and that her gut feeling to protect her independence is absolutely correct.

What do you think? Is this just a misunderstanding of a work-from-home job, or is it a sign of something much more dangerous?

Charles Butler

Charles Butler

Hey there, fellow spotlight seekers! As the PIC of our social issues beat—and a guy who's dived headfirst into journalism and media studies—I'm obsessed with unpacking how we chase thrills, swap stories, and tangle with the big, messy debates of inequality, justice, and resilience, whether on screens or over drinks in a dive bar. Life's an endless, twisty reel, so I love spotlighting its rawest edges in words. Growing up on early internet forums and endless news scrolls, I'm forever blending my inner fact-hoarder with the restless wanderer itching to uncover every hidden corner of the world.

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