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Wife Married For Money Refuses To Lie About It, Family Wants Her To Apologize

by Annie Nguyen
December 21, 2025
in Social Issues

Honesty can sometimes backfire, especially when it comes to delicate family relationships. This woman has been open with her family about her marriage of convenience, where both she and her husband are content, but her sisters don’t approve of the arrangement.

When her nieces started asking questions about her relationship, she answered honestly, which led to an argument with her sisters.

Now, the family is upset, and she’s been blamed for ruining a planned vacation because she refused to attend after the fight. Was she wrong for being truthful with her nieces, or did she have every right to defend her life choices? Continue reading to find out how others view her actions.

A woman’s honest talk about her marriage causes a family fallout, leading her to cancel a vacation

Wife Married For Money Refuses To Lie About It, Family Wants Her To Apologize
not the actual photo

'AITA for being the rason why the family vacation has to be canceled?'

Ok, to make it short: I married for money. My husband is with me for appearances, and we are happy with our arrangement.

My husband and I married because I have all the "qualifications" to please his family, and he takes financial care of me.

We are very fond of each other and even love each other. But not in the classical marriage sense.

We are like amazing roommates with some benefits.

He and I are free to live our life's independently and without stresses.

He is not worried about being cut off from his family, and I am finally financially stable

and am free to work my job that simply is not as economically beneficial.

The problem: My sisters have never approved of my decision. They say I sold myself.

Which... fair. But still, we (used) to be civil with each other.

Last week we had a family BBQ. I went without my husband.

Everything was going great until my oldest niece (21) sat down next to me, and we started talking.

And then she asked be me, straight up, if I was with my husband for money.

I explained to her how we met, our agreement and so on.

She then asked me if I think it would be okay for her to pretend to be her gay best friend's GF.

I told her it was up to her to decide and if there were no negatives to it

(like her having actual feelings for him, someone getting hurt like a romantic partner etc.). It was a lovely talk.

Strike two was, apparently, when my other nieces asked me where my husband was, and I told them, that he was on vacation.

They asked me why I didn't go with him, and I said that we only sometimes go together to vacations.

We usually take little trips together but go on longer vacations with friends or family.

My niece (16) asked me if it was true what her mom and aunt said about me being a gold digger and I just said" I guess so".

Like, that doesn’t face me. I know my sisters constantly talk about me behind my back, and I am not ashamed about my marriage at all.

So I see no need to lie.

Later that night, my sisters cornered me, and we had a fight about my words with my nieces.

They said it was completely inappropriate what I told them.

That I am free to live my f**ked up life but to not let my niece think, that it is okay what I do.

I called them small-minded and that I was only answering my nieces questions, and I was even honest.

They are free to do their own decisions.

My sisters kept cornering me, calling me all sorts of names,

and saying I was basically influencing their daughters negatively because I was miserable.

I said some words back and left, not talking to them the whole week.

Now there is a huge fallout because I pulled out of the family vacation because of this fight.

But the vacation would be at my husband's summer House.

And as I am not going, my husband doesn’t feel comfortable lending my family the house.

My family has been calling me a huge AH, and my sisters said that I was blowing things out of proportion. AITA? SHOULD I STILL GO?

Edit: I am really sorry about my bad spelling. I am not a native speaker and actually struggle with grammar in every language.

I tried to correct it. As to some questions:

Does my husband have a dark secret? No. Also, I am not harming him by being open with my family.

It is an unspoken secret. His parents care more that he is married. They do not care if it is a "real" marriage.

What qualifications do I have? I share his religion and frequent the church,

I work with an NGO, I have a very limited social media presence, I have a good education, I am not very loud, and I am a good host.

Why was I encouraging my niece to be a beard?: I was not. She asked me what I thought, what I would do, etc.

She wanted to help a friend out, and we talked about that. We talked about what could go wrong, about the drawbacks etc.

Why do you blab so much about it?: I do not. At the very beginning, I sat my parents down and explained to them.

They were okay with my decision.

They only urged me to make sure I would be taken care of, even if my husband decided to divorce or if I wanted out.

My sisters found out and "confronted" me.

Since then, I only talk about it when I am directly asked. I never offer information about it.

But I am also not going to lie. I think that should be it.

In this situation, the OP isn’t just deciding whether to go on a family vacation; they’re balancing their personal choices with family expectations and the discomfort of being judged for their unconventional marriage. The core emotions in this story revolve around judgment, acceptance, and self-empowerment.

The OP clearly feels misunderstood and unsupported by their family, especially when they openly discuss their marriage. Yet, this openness about their arrangement seems to trigger conflict and strong emotional reactions from the family, with accusations of “selling themselves” and being a “gold digger.”

While the OP may have expected a simple conversation, it became a battleground for deeply rooted family beliefs about marriage, loyalty, and expectations. This struggle speaks to the universal desire to live authentically despite pressure from loved ones to conform to their values.

When analyzing the situation from a psychological perspective, it’s crucial to recognize the complexities of human relationships and how different perspectives shape our actions. The OP, by choosing to be open about their marriage, may have unintentionally disrupted the family’s understanding of what a “proper” relationship should look like.

This openness, however, is not a sign of weakness or shame but rather a reflection of the OP’s autonomy and self-acceptance. The niece’s curiosity about pretending to be a girlfriend highlights the blurred lines that many people navigate when it comes to social roles and the pressure to conform to specific relationship norms.

The OP’s blunt honesty about their marriage reflects a desire for transparency but also a need to reclaim control over how they are perceived.

Expert psychologist Dr. Susan Brown, a clinical psychologist specializing in family dynamics, explains that when family members disagree over deeply personal choices, like marriage, it often leads to feelings of alienation and judgment.

According to Brown, “family members may internalize their expectations and impose them on others, sometimes without considering the emotional and psychological needs of the individual involved”.

This creates tension, as seen in the OP’s story. The OP’s decision to live life according to their terms has clearly caused friction with their sisters, but it is a healthy form of self-expression that should be respected.

Brown suggests that individuals in such situations need to balance self-assertion with empathy for others’ viewpoints, as clashing belief systems often stem from a lack of understanding rather than malicious intent.

This insight helps us understand why the OP’s actions, though controversial, are rooted in their desire for personal freedom and self-empowerment.

The decision to skip the family vacation further emphasizes the OP’s boundaries and desire to avoid toxic family dynamics. While their sisters may view the situation as trivial, the OP’s emotional well-being is at stake, and they are choosing to stand firm.

In reflecting on this, it’s important for both the OP and their family members to engage in open communication and attempt to understand each other’s perspectives.

Rather than seeing the OP’s choices as problematic, the family could approach the situation with empathy and curiosity, helping bridge the gap between differing values and emotional needs.

Check out how the community responded:

These Redditors highlighted the hypocrisy of the OP’s family, pointing out that while they criticize the OP for their marriage, they still expect to benefit from it

ElmLane62 − NTA. Let's get this straight. You married a guy for his money, and he married you as a cover.

That works for you. However, your family judges you for it, UNTIL they don't get to stay at HIS beach house because they disrespected you.

"You can't have your cake and eat it, too."

atealein − NTA. You are the gold digger, yet they expect to reap the benefits of the gold even when they judge you for you.

Entirely proportionate responce, OP.

Also your nieces are old enough to start thinking for themselves and these are very good conversational topics

which are better handled without parental scowl around. Congratulations on your marriage.

People forget that "marry for love" is quite a recent thing and in not that distant past it was most

like a business deal and if you could find a spouse that treats you with respect

and you grow fond and friends together it was considered a successful marriage.

It seems to me that's what you have, even if it is not the fairytale dream or the religious ideal. P. S.

Since so many replies to me seem to lack at least some level of reading comprehension

here I stated "you are the gold digger, yet they expect" because her sisters call her that. Not that this is what I call her. Seriously, guys.

Read the full text before you go off.

This group stressed that the OP had every right to refuse an apology and should not feel guilty for how they choose to live their life

busyshrew − Your sisters are hypocrites - if they so disagree with your life choices and find them so a__orrent,

then they should not be accepting a family vacation at your summer house.

Rather than berating you about being a 'fucked-up' role model, they should look deep at themselves,

at what values (money grubbing, hypocrisy, nastiness towards family members) THEY are showing their own children. NTA.

Don't feel guilty, your marriage is your own business ('your' = yourself and husband)

and definitely DO NOT HOST THOSE HORRID PEOPLE.

I might reach out independently to the 21 year old to let her know the door is open, if you have a good separate relationship.

But keep on living your life.

No-Gap2946 − NTA - they can’t criticise your Mariage and rip benefits from it.

From what you say, both you and your husband entered you Mariage with eyes wide open AND you’ve never lied about it to your family.

You don’t need to be ashamed of it. Your nieces are 16+ and hear about your marriage from your sisters

so nothing wrong with being honest. They’re old enough.

Tell your sisters the house is from your fucked up life so you’re just saving them any further grief

RichSignal7022 − From your account it sounds like you said nothing wrong to your nieces.

What were you supposed to say when your niece asked if what her mom said was true? No, she's a liar? It was really a no win conversation.

It seems like your sisters are angry because you're not ashamed of the way you live your life,

but it sounds like both you and your husband are okay with it and no one's being taken advantage of.

If anyone's taking advantage it's your sisters, as they seem perfectly okay with benefitting from your husband's money

when it means they get a vacation in his house.

There are so many posts on Reddit where the person says "I am the reason X, Y and Z happened" when they're not the reason at all.

The reason is that someone treated you like crap and there are consequences to behaving that way.

Your sisters caused this, not you. I wouldn't want to be in the same room as them, let alone go on vacation with them. NTA

These commenters supported the OP’s honesty with their nieces and criticized the family for spreading misinformation about the OP’s marriage

_mmiggs_ − NTA The only reason your nieces brought up you being a "gold digger" is that your family described you that way to them.

That's your family's fault. Until they brought that up, you had a completely neutral "sometimes my husband and I travel together,

and sometimes we don't", which is fine, and it's not really anyone else's business how you arrange your lives.

Knickers1978 − NTA So, you’re not allowed to be married for convenience and money,

but your family wants to use your husband’s vacation home for convenience and to save money?

Talk about f__king hypocrites. What your arrangement is with your husband is between you and him, nobody else.

If your sisters don’t like it, then they shouldn’t try to use that relationship to benefit themselves.

Not everybody wants to find the typical archetype of love and marriage. You do you and let them suffer.

Also, be sure to point out their hypocrisy.

This group celebrated the OP for standing their ground and not apologizing

bunnybunny690 − Hahaha they fucked up. Look you have a beneficial marriage. You went into to it opened eyes.

It works. Hell it’s a happy marriage. Much more so than some who married only for love.

Yours sisters are just mad love alone don’t pay the bills.

Anyway I do love the irony that they hate your gold digging way

so when the gravy train stops aka their freebie holidays, suddenly you're the bad guy.

Like don’t like my marriage/disrespect my marriage don’t have my money/freebies etc that come with my marriage. They f**ked around and are finding out.

NTA unless you ever treat your sisters with this gold digger money then you would be because they clearly have no respect or care for you.

theworldisonfire8377 − HAHAHAHA the irony of them being pissed off at not getting to use your husbands summer house,

which they wouldn't have access to if you didn't marry for money,

because they judged you and cornered you and complained about your life choices.

They can't have it both ways!! NTA. It sounds like you gave your nieces honest and reasonable advice.

As for your sisters, tell them how hypocritical they are to complain about your life choices and marriage

while all the while benefitting from said marriage by getting to use his resources.

Acceptable_Bunch_586 − NTA, but I don’t think you need to be so harsh on yourself or your husband.

All relationships are partnerships, and work in different ways.

You clearly care for this guy and respect him, and he clearly trusts and respects you

so frankly stop calling yourself names and accept that you have a good relationship with someone you care about.

It all sounds very sensible and mature.

Strange_Brain6722 − How was it inappropriate for you to confirm what they had already told their daughters?

I think it's far more inappropriate that they told their daughters anything about your marriage. NTA

greenglossygalaxy − So they think you’re a gold digger, but they have zero problems (and clearly some feelings of entitlement)

about using your husbands property for a free holiday? Is there such thing as gold diggers-in-law?

Just kidding, you and your husband are adults with an agreement in place that works for both of you.

It’s frankly no one else’s business how you live your life.

singerontheside − Hahahaha - you gold digger you!..... TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE for you to have such a wonderful life and we reject you!

......But is it ok if we still use the Villa? They don't like losing the privilege of your trappings though!

[Reddit User] − NTA. You didn't even say anything to them, let alone anything inappropriate!

THEY were asking YOU inappropriate questions because that's what they heard said about you by their own parents.

Your sisters sound jealous af

Freelennial − You are not the a__hole here.

Your family doesn’t get to demean and criticize your life choices and then also expect to benefit from those same choices.

You absolutely should not go on vacation with them nor should they be staying on your property

after insulting you to your face and behind your back. I wouldn’t spend any time with people like that, sisters or not.

It seems the woman wasn’t the one causing the drama after all, it was her family’s hypocrisy that led to the fallout.

Do you think she was right to cancel her participation in the family vacation, or did she overreact? Should she continue to stand firm, or is it time to mend the relationship? Let us know your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Annie Nguyen

Annie Nguyen

Hi, I'm Annie Nguyen. I'm a freelance writer and editor for Daily Highlight with experience across lifestyle, wellness, and personal growth publications. Living in San Francisco gives me endless inspiration, from cozy coffee shop corners to weekend hikes along the coast. Thanks for reading!

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