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Aunt Puts An End To Niece’s Sunday Treats, Dad Blames, But The Real Reason Shows She Is Not The Villain

by Jeffrey Stone
December 3, 2025
in Social Issues

A 22-year-old aunt’s Sunday bliss, church, café croissants, hot cocoa with her giggling four-year-old niece, crashed when brother-in-law swiped the to-go treats like a starving pirate. Free babysitting wrapped in love, now soured by his greedy grabs.

Reddit’s a wildfire of savage splits. Clan calls her petty for picnic reroutes and “greedy” labels; others cheer the boundary blitz, insisting freeloading kin don’t deserve crumbs. Trust’s toast, sides are drawn: who’s the real villain?

Aunt stops sending pastries home after brother-in-law eats niece’s treats.

Aunt Puts An End To Niece's Sunday Treats, Dad Blames, But The Real Reason Shows She Is Not The Villain
Not the actual photo.

'AITAH for no longer buying my niece pastries because my BIL eats them all?'

I (22F) babysit my niece Mona (4F) for my sister (26F) and BIL (28M) every weekend (free of charge btw).

On Sundays I always take Mona with me to church and if I'm not volunteering at Sunday school, we usually leave right after service and hit up a café and...

Anyway I always get a few extra pastries to go for my niece as a little treat for her.

But I just found that my BIL takes the pastries from my niece after I drop her off and eats them all without even sharing with her.

So now I no longer send her home with treats (I still buy them for her, but now I setup a little picnic for her, so she can enjoy herself).

My BIL confronted me about why Mona no longer brings home treats and I told him I don't like how he eats the stuff I bought for her and now...

Edit - Oh my gosh hi, hello everyone. Thank you for all your responses, I'm seeing a lot of you concerned about my niece eating too many treats

and this is honestly a valid concern and I promise you I'm not stuffing my niece with junk food every week.

I'm relatively healthy and make sure she eats her fruits and vegetables when she's with me.

The pastries are not an every Sunday thing (I get that would be extremely unhealthy for a child)

and when I said "stuff our face" I didn't mean that literally, my niece is four and doesn't eat THAT much.

Her go to is always a pie which I think is considered a pastry and a mug of hot chocolate and the extra pastries are like 2.

Which I give to my sister so she can decide when Mona is allowed to eat them.

Edit 2 - more on BIL, this post was not me trying to make BIL out to be an arsebiscuit (lol thank you to the user that commented this)

he does that all on his own. I've had major problems with him for a while now.

1 not only is he disrespectful to my sister, but he's also disrespectful to my parents which is why my parents banned him from their house.

I've heard him telling my sister to stfu and calling her b__ch infront of my niece.

2 my sister constantly complains about basically being a single parent, because he'll drag his feet and b__ch when my sister asks him to "help" in other words be a...

I'm not worried about him trying to take advantage of me by constantly helping them out.

I know he thinks I'm stupid for watching their child free of charge, but I don't care,

I'm doing it for my niece and trying to give her some sort of comfort and safe space away from BIL because he can be a bully towards everyone.

At the heart of the saga: a 22-year-old aunt trying to gift her niece a sprinkle of joy, only to watch it get gobbled by a grown man who apparently missed the “sharing is caring” memo in kindergarten.

Let’s unpack the pastry politics. The aunt isn’t hoarding treats, she’s curating moments. A pie here, a hot chocolate there, two extras for later (handed to her sister, not flung like confetti).

The BIL, meanwhile, swoops in post-drop-off, devours the loot, and labels a toddler and his sister-in-law greedy. It’s less “family bonding” and more “survival of the hungriest.”

His move reeks of entitlement: free babysitting? Cool. Free pastries? Mine now. The aunt’s picnic switch isn’t revenge. It’s boundary-setting with sprinkles on top.

Flip the croissant, though: maybe BIL sees the treats as communal property in a cash-strapped household. Or perhaps he’s stress-eating his way through a rocky marriage (the post hints at bigger storms). Still, snatching from a four-year-old? That’s a power play. Family dynamics often mask deeper tensions; a 2023 Pew Research report found 41% of adults cite “differing values” as the top reason for strained relatives . Pastry theft might be the crumb on the surface of a much messier cake.

Relationship expert Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist renowned for her work on narcissism and toxic dynamics, emphasizes that name-calling is a hallmark of emotional abuse. “Name-calling is a form of verbal abuse that can erode self-esteem, create fear, and lead to a toxic cycle in relationships,” she explains in a 2023 interview with Verywell Mind.

Here, the BIL’s “greedy” label slung at both a four-year-old and her aunt doesn’t just sting over pastries, it echoes the belittling that poisons family bonds, turning shared moments into minefields of resentment.

Durvasula notes this tactic often stems from the abuser’s own insecurities, projecting control to mask vulnerabilities, much like how the BIL’s snack raids might distract from his reluctance to step up as a parent. The aunt’s pivot to on-site picnics? It’s a quiet rebellion, reclaiming agency without escalating the chaos.

But Durvasula warns that unchecked, these jabs can ripple outward, modeling disrespect for the child and straining sibling ties. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family Psychology backs this, showing verbal aggression correlates with higher child anxiety rates in households.

Neutral fixes abound: the BIL could fund his cravings (turning treats into a teachable budgeting moment), or the family might circle up for a mediated chat, swapping accusations for “I feel” statements.

Ultimately, the picnic endures as a sanctuary, proof that small joys, guarded fiercely, can outlast the crumbs of conflict.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Some call the brother-in-law greedy for stealing from a child.

[Reddit User] − NTA He’s the greedy one, stealing pastries from his 4-year-old daughter, what a scumbag.

If he wants pastries so much he can get off his lazy backside and buy himself some.

Curious-One4595 − Well, he has the adjective right, but the subject wrong.

Stealing a four-year-old’s treats is the epitome of greed. Is he practicing for an upcoming role as Snidely Whiplash? NTA.

Explain that the treats are a gift from you to your niece, but since he likes them too,

you’re happy to pick some up for him while you and Mona are at the café if he gives you the money to purchase them.

Lisa_Knows_Best − He's calling a 4 year old greedy for wanting her own treats? Tell the cheap AH to buy his own s__t.

Some worry about the sister and niece’s well-being.

Trailsya − NTA What an idiot. You do free babysitting, he steals his daughter's treats and calls you AND his 4 year old greedy?

I worry for your sister and niece, because I can't believe anyone who behaves like that to be a good family man.

Some share similar stories of entitled partners eating gifted food.

venturebirdday − We used to have family dinner once a week where I would bring mountains of food

so that my niece would leave with several meals for her family. No groceries to buy, no planning, no clean up.

I love my niece and her kids and in all other ways she seems put together but oh my the men she chooses!

I was burning mad when I find out the latest boy toy actually waits in the driveway of her place on family dinner nights.

He eats it ALL! He does not leave money, he does not buy groceries, he just inhales the food and then goes to play pool with his friends.

Then I found out he was allergic to sea food. I got to be quite an excellent cook with various seafood dishes.

Throw some crab into mac and cheese - sure. Use clams in spaghetti - of course. Anchovies on pizza - the kids loved it.

No-Worry8970 − When I was a teenager, I drove miles to get a tart that was a favourite but wasnt really available anywhere. Family size, was going to share it.

My stepdad ate the ENTIRE thing. He also told me I was the ah for it being in the house and that if it's there, it's there to be eaten.

Not when it comes to anything he wants to keep to himself though. NTA - I don't buy any treats now. Well, not if he's home when I visit anyway.

Some suggest charging him or petty responses.

GlassMotor9670 − When he talks to you, respond "what Porky? " He is a greedy arsebiscuit. NTA. The picnic sounds awesome

Hachiko75 − Why doesn't he just go there and buy - oh, right because it was free and easy to take from his kid. What a j__kass.

[Reddit User] − “Since you enjoy the pastries I gift to your daughter maybe you can give me some money so I can get some for you.

This can stop you from eating her treat.”

Some speculate on broader entitlement patterns.

Vegetable-Cod-2340 − NTA Wow… he eats her Halloween candy too, doesn't he?

I wonder if he's one of those greedy guys that eats everything, even if it got someone's else name on it.

In the end, one aunt turned a pastry pilferer into a picnic promoter, proving love doesn’t need a to-go bag to travel. Do you think the Redditor’s café-only rule is fair, or should she bake BIL his own batch of humble pie?

How would you protect a kid’s joy when grown-ups act like cookie monsters? Drop your hot takes!

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone

Jeffrey Stone is a valuable freelance writer at DAILY HIGHLIGHT. As a senior entertainment and news writer, Jeffrey brings a wealth of expertise in the field, specifically focusing on the entertainment industry.

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