Mom Asks Pregnant Daughter To Move Out Before Baby Is Born, Is She Wrong?

Parenting is about nurturing, supporting, and guiding, but sometimes it also means making tough decisions, even when they’re met with opposition.

This is exactly what one mother is facing after her daughter, 17 and pregnant, insists on raising her baby despite the father’s lack of involvement. The mother, recently retired and looking forward to her golden years, isn’t prepared to step into the role of a full-time caregiver.

After much back-and-forth, the mother tells her daughter she must move out before the baby arrives. While offering help in finding housing and assistance, the mother’s stance is clear: she will not raise another child. But is she wrong for putting her own needs above her daughter’s? Continue reading to see how this family dynamic unfolds.

A mother tells her pregnant daughter to move out before the baby is born, fearing she’ll end up raising the child

For the OP, her 17‑year‑old daughter’s pregnancy stirs deep emotions, maternal concern, practical fear, and a longing to protect both her daughter and her own future.

Being asked to essentially parent again when retirement was just beginning can feel overwhelming. What the OP is experiencing is common in families navigating early parenthood: the tension between supporting a child and preserving one’s own well‑being.

Teen pregnancy carries documented challenges, not just physical but psychological and socioeconomic. Research shows that adolescent mothers face higher rates of depression, anxiety, and stress than their older counterparts, in part because of the life adjustments and strains involved in early parenthood.

Adolescent pregnancy also tends to correlate with increased mental health vulnerability, including stress and lower self‑esteem, especially when support systems are weak.
MDPI

Support from family, especially parents, can make a significant positive difference in these outcomes.

Research reviewing teenage motherhood indicates that family support is particularly important, with support from parents linked to better parenting behavior and reduced stress for young mothers compared to those without such support.

This aligns with the OP’s expressed desire to help her daughter get a job or find housing, resourceful forms of support without taking primary caregiving responsibility herself.

At the same time, parental burnout is a real and growing psychological concept. Although much of the research focuses on parents of young children, it highlights how perceived caregiving burden and stress accumulate when expectations don’t match available support.

Caregiver burden correlates with exhaustion and emotional distancing when demands outweigh resources, especially without adequate social or community support.

This helps explain why the OP feels she cannot shoulder the responsibility of raising another child at this point in her life.

For families in this context, setting boundaries is psychologically important. While no single study gives a specific formula for how long a parent should host a pregnant teen or young mother, developmental research on the transition to adulthood shows that having clear plans for independence is key to young adult self‑efficacy.

Sociologist Jeylan Mortimer’s work on transitions to adulthood emphasizes the role of parents as safety nets during early adult phases but also that prolonged dependence can hinder young adults’ confidence and self‑sufficiency.

That doesn’t mean emotional support and practical help should disappear. Rather, what the OP is trying to do, help her daughter find employment, apply for assistance, and secure affordable housing, is evidence‑aligned with best practices for helping young mothers transition to autonomy while reducing risk.

Programs and interventions designed for pregnant youth often combine housing support, health services, and community resources because these comprehensive approaches correlate with more stable outcomes for young parents. (ScienceDirect)

What this all suggests is neither extreme, abandoning the daughter nor absorbing full parental responsibility for a grandchild, is ideal. A balanced approach involves:

• Encouraging independence (job, housing, education) while remaining emotionally supportive.
• Using community and social support services that specialize in young parent assistance.
• Setting clear, realistic boundaries about caregiving roles to protect everyone’s well‑being.

The OP’s decision to define boundaries does not make her wrong. It reflects a desire to support her daughter without sacrificing her own health and future.

Research underscores that support, rather than full caregiving takeover, is key to positive outcomes for both the teen mother and the family dynamic.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

These commenters stressed support without enabling or becoming an assumed caregiver

These commenters argued parents are not obligated to raise their children’s babies

These commenters agreed adult choices require adult planning, not free childcare

These commenters warned enabling leads to burnout and unfair sacrifices later in life

This commenter pushed for a harsh reality check about exhausting parenthood

These commenters suggested financial planning to force real-world accountability

These commenters backed consequences but favored a gradual transition, not eviction

These commenters supported boundaries while warning of lasting family damage.

The mother in this scenario is grappling with the challenge of balancing her love for her daughter with the need to prioritize her own well-being and retirement.

While the internet is divided, many feel that setting clear boundaries is the right choice.

Do you think the mother was justified in asking her daughter to move out, or was there a better way to handle the situation? How would you have approached this tough conversation with your child? Share your thoughts below!