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Is it a Crime to Ask? One Mom Cut Off from Her Son’s Pregnancy for a Single Question

by Carolyn Mullet
December 27, 2025
in Social Issues

We have all experienced those family gatherings where one awkward question can suddenly suck all the air out of the room. Usually, the conversation bounces back after a quick subject change. However, for one Redditor, a single question at a celebratory dinner started a chain reaction that resulted in a complete family breakdown. It is the kind of situation that makes you wonder where the line between a healthy boundary and a massive overreaction actually sits.

A teenager shared a story about his brother and pregnant sister-in-law, who were seemingly ready for war after a polite inquiry from his mother. The mother simply asked if she could be in the delivery room. When told no, she accepted the answer gracefully. But apparently, even asking the question was considered a deep insult. This led to a full-on ban and a loyalty test that forced a young brother to make an impossible choice.

The Story

Is it a Crime to Ask? One Mom Cut Off from Her Son’s Pregnancy for a Single Question
Not the actual photo

AITA for telling my brother how I honestly feel about his baby?

I(18m) have never had a great relationship with my brother(26m). We don’t hate each other, but we aren’t close.

He’s married, and his wife has recently got pregnant.

We had a dinner at my moms house to congratulate them. My mom asked them if it was ok if they let her in the delivery room.

They said no, and that was the end of it. They left soon after, but I didn’t think anything of it.

A week later I found out that his wife felt really disrespected by this. They said they didn’t want any contact with my mom for

the rest of the pregnancy. I thought this was ridiculous, but I didn’t say anything. My mom is obviously sad about it, but she hasn’t

contacted them since. My brother recently invited me to his baby shower. I told him that he needs to give me a good reason why

he is treating our mother like this, or I wouldn’t go. He couldn’t give me a reason, so I didn’t go. Two days ago

he asked me to meet and talk with him and his wife. I agreed, so we met up at their house. They explained that his

wife felt very disrespected by my mom. She said that my mom had no right asking to be in the delivery room. They also said

that I have no right holding that against them. I told them that I don’t care who they have in the delivery room. If they

don’t want mom in, then it’s fine with me. I told them that punishing her for asking was just ridiculous. They then asked me

if I really wanted to be in the baby’s life. I told that if I had to choose I would choose my mom.

A couple of people have told me that I am an a__hole, but I don’t think so. AITA?

It is genuinely confusing to see a relationship break down over a question that was asked once and then dropped. We often see stories where grandparents try to barge into the hospital room. This mother, however, seemed to follow the rules perfectly. She asked, heard a “no,” and respected it completely.

It feels like the brother and his wife are looking for reasons to create distance. Hearing that they cut her off for an entire pregnancy over one conversation is quite startling. It makes sense why an eighteen-year-old would feel protective of his mother. It is a very heavy burden to place on a sibling when you demand they choose a side in such a petty dispute.

Expert Opinion

This specific conflict looks like a case of “boundary overcorrection.” While setting boundaries is vital during pregnancy, reacting with total silence can sometimes be more about control than comfort. Experts note that many new parents feel a sudden, intense need to guard their privacy.

However, punishing a family member for a request they already accepted is often a sign of deeper, unspoken issues. According to Psychology Today, a healthy boundary is meant to protect a person, while an ultimatum or an estrangement is often used to penalize someone else. You can read more about setting healthy family boundaries here.

A report from the Gottman Institute highlights that “the straw that broke the camel’s back” syndrome is common in family rifts. It is possible the sister-in-law had past frustrations with the mother that never came to light. But from the outside, the punishment seems to far outweigh the crime.

Dr. Peggy Drexler has written extensively on the “daughter-in-law versus mother-in-law” dynamic. She points out that the birth of a child is a time of immense vulnerability. Sometimes, the person giving birth may interpret any request for access as an attempt at intrusion. You can find insights on navigating family conflict during pregnancy here.

In this story, the brother failed to act as a bridge between his wife and his mother. Instead of explaining his wife’s feelings calmly, he joined in on the punishment. This forced the younger brother into a position where he had to defend his mother’s dignity. The situation serves as a reminder that clear communication is always better than immediate exile.

Community Opinions

The community was largely in agreement that the reaction from the couple was quite extreme. Most readers found the brother’s behavior to be the real issue in this family dynamic.

Many felt that cutting someone off just for asking a question was totally out of line.

Lucedreadzzz − NTA I can understand her being offended... but you’re right in that punishing your mom simply for asking is wrong.

Like if literally all she did was ask once they’re being ridiculous.

madame-olga − They’re mad that she respected their boundary and took no for an answer? NTA, your bro and his wife suck.

Extension_Ad_972 − NTA You gave them the opportunity to explain and contextualize this decision,

but all they gave you was "she shouldn't have asked. " You're right. That's ridiculous.

Several people wondered if there was a bigger secret or hidden history they weren’t hearing.

Present_History2353 − Unless there is left out info I'd say you're NTA. Your mom asked a question many grandparents ask.

It's not disrespectful. Disrespectful is cutting her out of their life because she asked and accepted the no.

Dszquphsbnt − I suspect there is more to the story than this and they did not go no contact just because mom asked...

My spidey sense tells me this was the proverbial straw.

[Reddit User] − INFO: Did something happen between SIL and your mom? Why the extreme reaction just for asking? ??

Others pointed out that asking for a delivery room invite is common and shouldn’t be a deal-breaker.

chickentenderlover − Nta. There is this weird trend of people weaponzing pregnancy and grand children.

If your mom respected their answer and moved on, there is really no problem here.

Shaggymaggie − NTA Your mother may have overstepped but all she did was ask to attend the birth of her grandchild...

All you did was tell your brother the truth, you won't participate their petty games.

Some users shared a humorous take on the couple’s high standards for “respect.”

CandylandCanada − NTA. Well, aren’t these two so very concerned about who has a right to do what.

Simply being asked a question by a soon-to-be grandmother is disrespectful... Let’s hope that the delivery doctor doesn’t sneeze at the wrong time!

[Reddit User] − NTA. They're being ridiculous.

How to Navigate a Situation Like This

Dealing with a family member who uses “no contact” as a punishment can be incredibly stressful. If you find yourself in the middle of a feud, it is important to stay true to your own values. You can love your brother and still disagree with how he treats your mother.

If you are asked to pick a side, you can gently say, “I value my relationship with everyone, but I cannot support a decision that seems unfair.” It is helpful to remain a neutral party without becoming a messenger for either side. Encouraging open and honest conversations instead of cold shoulders is the best way to help a family heal. Always remember that you are allowed to have boundaries too, even when it comes to being involved in their drama.

Conclusion

This story leaves us all thinking about the weight of our words and our silences. While parents have every right to decide who is in their delivery room, using that choice to cut a family apart feels like a missed opportunity for grace. The teen brother stood by his mother, even when it meant missing out on a new chapter with his niece or nephew.

How would you handle it if your family members started ghosting each other over a simple question? Do you think the sister-in-law had a right to be this offended? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 1/1 votes | 100%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/1 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/1 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/1 votes | 0%

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet

Carolyn Mullet is in charge of planning and content process management, business development, social media, strategic partnership relations, brand building, and PR for DailyHighlight. Before joining Dailyhighlight, she served as the Vice President of Editorial Development at Aubtu Today, and as a senior editor at various magazines and media agencies.

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