A woman earning six figures agreed to support her boyfriend fully after he lost his job, expecting him to take charge of cooking, cleaning, and errands while she covered all expenses. Seven months later she returned daily to a home littered with empty bottles, an empty fridge stocked only with junk food, and almost no effort from him.
Tired of doing most of the housework herself despite working full-time, she realized he would never manage as a stay-at-home dad and began questioning the entire future of their relationship.
A woman rethinks her boyfriend’s stay-at-home-dad potential after months of unfulfilled household promises and ends the relationship.
This Redditor’s story is a classic case of expectations meeting reality, and reality brought a six-pack and a nap. What started as a reasonable arrangement quickly turned into a one-sided partnership. She’s working full-time, paying every bill, and still coming home to do most of the cooking and cleaning herself.
Meanwhile, her boyfriend is sleeping in, applying to a grand total of one or two jobs a day, and stocking the fridge with chips and beer instead of actual meals. It’s less “teamwork makes the dream work” and more “one person is carrying the entire dream on their back.”
The core issue is trust. When you’re talking about bringing kids into the picture, you need to know your partner can handle responsibility. A stay-at-home parent isn’t on permanent vacation; they’re running a household, often with tiny humans who demand constant attention.
If basic adult tasks like grocery shopping and meal prep feel optional now, how will they manage diapers, doctor’s appointments, and still keep the house from looking like a tornado hit?
Notably, the Redditor’s mom raised four kids while keeping everything spotless and cooking from scratch. By comparison, this feels like a stark warning sign.
This isn’t an isolated problem. Studies show that unequal division of household labor is one of the biggest predictors of relationship dissatisfaction.
According to a 2023 Pew Research Center report, even in households where women are the primary earners, they still handle the majority of domestic work, often leading to resentment and burnout. The same report found that couples who share chores more evenly report higher levels of relationship satisfaction.
Relationship expert Don Cole notes, “People have different responsibilities in their lives, so the question is: How do they balance that in a way that they both agree on? It doesn’t have to be exactly 50-50.”
When one person consistently fails to meet agreed-upon expectations, especially during a trial period like unemployment, it erodes the foundation of trust. In this case, the trial run failed spectacularly.
Researcher Daniel L. Carlson emphasizes that “For women, an equal division of labor is important to their relationship satisfaction. For men, it depends on how his partner communicates with him”. This explains how perceived fairness, as well as clear communication, plays a key role.
So what’s the takeaway? If you’re considering a major life change like having children or one partner staying home, it’s wise to test the waters first.
A few months of unemployment with clear household responsibilities can reveal a lot about compatibility. And if the arrangement starts feeling one-sided, it’s okay to reassess before resentment turns into regret.
Here’s what the community had to contribute:
Some people strongly advise against having children with this partner due to his current irresponsibility.
Some people criticize the partner’s laziness and lack of contribution to the relationship.
Others acknowledge his potential ignorance but stress that he must step up or face consequences.
In the end, the Redditor decided to walk away, realizing resentment had already taken root. It’s a tough but honest choice: better to end things before kids are involved than to stay in a partnership that feels unbalanced.
Do you think she was right to pull the plug, or should she have given him more time? How would you handle a partner who can’t or won’t step up when the stakes are this high? Drop your thoughts below!
