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Woman Refuses To Sell Her “Stripper-Bought” Flat After Boyfriend Wants To Move In, Dumps Him Instead

by Layla Bui
December 24, 2025
in Blog

Buying a home is one of the most significant accomplishments in life, but for one woman, it’s now causing tension in her relationship. After years of working as a stripper and scrimping to buy her own flat, she’s proud of the home she’s made for herself.

However, when she gets pregnant, her boyfriend insists they sell the flat to buy a new place together. His issue? The flat was bought with what he refers to as “stripper money,” and he’s uncomfortable with the idea of raising a family in a place tied to her past.

Despite her initial support for the idea of buying a new home together, she refuses to sell, feeling that her hard work and the security of owning a home are too important to give up.

Is she wrong for standing her ground, or should she have been more willing to compromise? Continue reading to see how this challenging situation develops.

A woman refuses to sell the flat she bought with her savings after her boyfriend objects

Woman Refuses To Sell Her "Stripper-Bought" Flat After Boyfriend Wants To Move In, Dumps Him Instead
not the actual photo

'AITA for refusing to sell the place I bought with "stripper money"?'

For several years I was a stripper. I have no shame about what I did, and only quit when I got a better job offer.

In the time I worked as a stripper, I intentionally lived as cheaply as possible

(s__tty little studio flat, living off ramen, wearing old clothes)

because my coworkers all told me that they were able to buy their own places on their income, so long as they saved like crazy.

Before I "retired", I managed to outright buy myself a 3 bedroom flat.

I rented out the other rooms for a while but I got sick of having roommates, so now I have them up online for shorter stays, but not to rent.

I met this guy about 18 months ago, and we've been together since.

He knows about my employment history, and he said that he has no issue with it,

though he did ask me to tell his family the white lie I occasionally use (on my CV and stuff),

which is that I was a waitress (which I kind of was tbf).

A month ago we found out that I'm 2 months pregnant. He says this is great news, and we should move in together.

I assumed he'd be moving into my place because he rents his (far smaller 1 bedroom) flat while I own mine,

and I have room for a baby's room while he doesn't. Also, I really don't want to leave my flat.

It's my flat, I love it, I could see myself living here for the rest of my life,

and I don't want to lose the security of owning a flat and have to go back to paying rent or a mortgage each month.

However, he then said that he didn't want to move into my place, and said I should sell it and we buy a place together.

I said that I like my place, it means a lot to me that I was able to buy it,

and it represents years of working my arse off scrimping and saving.

He then said that he understands all of that, but we should be living together by the time the baby comes

and he didn't want to live in my flat.

I asked him why not, it's a great flat, it's central to everything, it's spacious,

it's got room for all his stuff, there's a daycare in the building (run/owned by another tenant) and a school 5 minute walk away,

the list goes on and he said that he didn't want to live in a flat that was bought with "stripper money".

That really pissed me off, and I told him no f__king way am I selling my flat

and that he never had an issue with my "stripper money" paying for this flat before now.

I said I wasn't giving up the security of owning a home for someone

who tries to make me feel ashamed about something I don't feel ashamed of. He said that his point is

if I sold the flat then we could get a new place with the money from the sale. I said "wouldn't that still be stripper money?"

and he said "that's different", and I asked how. He then said he was going back to his place

because "I can't talk to you when you're in this state".

He's gone back to his flat now and he's texted me saying I'm overreacting/irrational

and I need to think of this realistically rather than emotionally.

He says he wouldn't feel right raising a child in my flat, knowing how I purchased it

and selling/moving is the best idea of all of us, not to mention the fact he isn't on the deed because it's my place

and it "would never feel like our place" because of this.

I feel I might be the arse because I get why he might feel like it's just my place

and I feel I'm being too rigid in a time we need to work together, plus I spoke to my sister

and she sided with him so 2 out of 3 people think I'm in the wrong here. AITA?

Update on the off chance anyone sees this: I dumped him.

There was a whole conversation and during the conversation he said he didn't want to be a parent

if I wasn't willing to do everything he wanted, including sharing a house/deed (plus staying together).

Also, at the start of the conversation I said what a few people suggested,

which was that I'd be willing to sell and split the house with him, provided he paid 50%, and he got very very angry, very very quickly.

He also said a few other things, so IDK how it's all going to pan out just yet, but it looks like I'm going to be a single mother.

Owning something you fought hard for can be deeply personal. For OP, the flat isn’t just a building, it’s a symbol of independence, discipline, and pride.

Many people can relate to cherishing something they earned through sacrifice, especially when it represents a turning point in their life. That emotional connection can make decisions about that asset feel far bigger than a simple property choice.

In this situation, the core conflict isn’t just about whether to sell a flat. It’s about mutual respect, shared values, and how a couple navigates financial decisions together. OP worked, saved intensely, and purchased the flat with money she earned honestly.

Her boyfriend’s objection isn’t grounded in practical concerns but in judgment of how the income was earned, saying he didn’t want to live in a place bought with “stripper money.” That distinction hits hard because it introduces stigma into what should be a supportive partnership.

Financial decisions are one of the most common sources of conflict in romantic relationships. Money doesn’t just buy goods, it triggers powerful emotions tied to control, respect, and self‑worth. Without alignment on values and open communication, what looks like a practical decision can quickly become personal and hurtful. Psychology Today

Honest conversations about finances, including each partner’s money history and priorities, strengthen empathy and teamwork. When a couple understands each other’s “money story,” they can build shared goals that respect both partners’ pasts and future aspirations. Psychology Today

Experts also note that financial compatibility matters. Couples who can communicate about money and negotiate financial decisions constructively tend to avoid resentment and ongoing conflict. This includes talking about assets, earning histories, financial contributions, and long‑term plans in a non‑judgmental way.

Here’s how these psychological insights apply to the situation:

Respect for past effort matters. The flat represents OP’s hard work, not shameful history. Her partner’s rejection of it because of stigma undermines her sense of worth and effort.

Open communication is crucial. Labeling a source of income as “unworthy” signals judgment rather than partnership. A healthier discussion would focus on shared goals and practical needs rather than feelings about past job titles.

Financial decision‑making should align with mutual values. Partners need to negotiate openly about money with empathy and trust. Without this, assumptions and resentment build, even over things that seem minor from the outside. Psychology Today

Importantly, money conflicts are linked to relationship tension, not because money itself is emotional, but because of what it represents: security, autonomy, respect, and future stability. When partners disagree on these themes without empathy or compromise, it often leads to deeper relational strain.

In conclusion, OP wasn’t being unreasonable to feel hurt. Her attachment to the flat is tied to her identity and hard work. The way her boyfriend framed the issue by devaluing her earnings instead of building a shared vision reveals a mismatch in values.

In healthy relationships, financial decisions are made through mutual respect, honest communication, and a willingness to understand each other’s emotional landscape, not by dismissing one partner’s past or minimizing their achievements.

Agreeing on a future together requires trust, empathy, and shared financial goals rather than judgment rooted in social stigma.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

This group of Redditors emphasized that the boyfriend’s behavior is manipulative and shows a lack of respect for the OP’s accomplishments

t3hd0n − "I can't talk to you when you're in this state".

saying I'm overreacting/irrational and I need to think of this realistically rather than emotionally.

NTA. This is classic gaslighting behavior. He also wants to coown with you at only 18 months into the relationship? Helllll no

grendigo − NTA. Sell your place and use the money to buy a new place huh?

How much would he be pitching in on the new place since he wants to be on the deed so badly?

Since he's renting I'm guessing 0. This guy is a loser who just can't handle that

you've been more successful at life and wants to use you as a leg up.

AlectoGaia − NTA. He's being irrational. Evidently he's way less okay with the stripper thing than he's been letting on.

ShireHorseRider − NTA I am laughing my arse off over here. He’s ok with laundered stripper money, but not traceable stripper money.

Now to my thoughts: Don’t sell your flat... ever. My wife & I have a rental & it’s our nest egg.

Maybe rent it out & use the $$ to pay for your next mortgage, but don’t sell it.

It’s one way to become wealthy by renting properties & living off the rent.

I know a businessman who became very wealthy doing this. My wife and I are doing it because we couldn’t sell our old house.

These users pointed out the boyfriend’s hypocritical stance on the OP’s past and how it’s a red flag for future behavior

progressivelens − NTA and big red flag that when he doesn't have a valid argument, he calls YOU emotional and unreasonable.

I can understand not feeling it's "his" place. But does he intend to put up half of whatever you move to

or he just wants a place he got to pick out together?

If he wants to put in half and buy part of your place it makes it both of yours.

Or sell and both put equal amounts into a new place then worth discussing.

The stripper money argument it's ugly and also illogical. Very concerning he went there.

textilefaery − Honestly I just love the thought of a bunch of strippers sitting around backstage

discussing proper investing and homeownership.

NTA, you’re a smart driven woman who’s made some brilliant choices (boyfriend notwithstanding, but we’ve all been there)

I also think your sister is unreasonable and possibly jealous to side with him

NothappyJane − and he said that he didn't want to live in a flat that was bought with "stripper money".

Nta and he sucks for sure. Are you sure you want to live with, have a baby with,

or pursue a relationship with someone who is already s__t shaming you?

I have bad news I think hes going to be that way for a long while yet.

He literally wants to up end your life and destabilise you in a pandemic for his pride and jealously over your past?

Is he dumb? Selfish? He seems like the kind of person who would use your past against you in custody

or throw it back in your face in anger if he's irrational enough to do what he's doing.

He might also just be asking for something unreasonable simply because it's been 18 months

and he doesn't want to move in and take on responsibility so he can blame it on you when it doesn't happen

This group criticized the boyfriend’s lack of contribution to the financial aspect of the relationship and suggested that his true motives may be to control the OP

TheGreekBitch − Former stripper here, I was in a similar situation at one point (minus the pregnancy)

and for a fact, he is doing this to gaslight you, keep you connected and tied to him, and have a comfortable lifestyle without the sacrifices.

DO NOT let all your hustling go to waste by letting this man come near your bag.

Let’s be honest, strippers are the best judges of men’s character. We can read them, and we know them.

What do your stripper instincts tell you about this man?

bbbrashbash − NTA He didn't say he wanted you guys to have something that was yours together.

He said his problem is you. He's "ok" with your past as long as he can deny it exists.

Let's say you did sell it, how much would he be contributing to buying a new place? Has he similarly been saving a bunch?

Or would it be you selling your place to buy a new place all by yourself?

If there's a kid brewing, y'all need to both be back in super saving mode. I vote for not selling.

Financially it doesn't make sense to me. A compromise could be him moving in and trying it, and revisiting how you both feel later.

Or maybe spend a couple weeks getting numbers on how much you could sell your place for,

how much he has to contribute, where you'd want to move/if you can afford it/what's available.

I'm pretty sure it ends with not moving. edit: do not put his name on anything he is not actually paying for

mckinnos − NTA NTA NTA. You’re being very reasonable and he’s the one who’s being irrational about what place to live in!

Sounds a little gaslighting to me. ..especially that “this state” sentence.

You can’t rewind time and buy your wonderful apartment with different money. ..why is he pretending you can?

These Redditors highlighted how the boyfriend’s judgmental attitude toward the OP’s past profession is a deeper issue

chocolatemugcake − Huge NTA. Um any money you make from selling that apartment will be "stripper money" too.

Does he want to pay for the new apartment himself? Have you go into debt when you don't need to?

Also good job on saving that well to buy an apartment out right!

Good3itch − NTA! You worked for that and you saved for that and he's been hiding his disgust this whole time

but now it's out in the open. If he thinks your home is tainted by being bought

with the proceeds of working in the s__/entertainment industry... then we already know what he thinks of you deep down. I'm so sorry :-(

ZingingKutie23 − NTA. Has this man ever gone to a strip club or watched porn? He strikes me as the kind of garbage

who would create a demand for strippers or porn but then shame people for making real money.

This is not just a simple issue; this is indicative of his thoughts on strippers, women, s__, “dirtiness”, and fairness. Watch yourself!!

This user raised concerns that the boyfriend might be using excuses to avoid taking on responsibility

pessoa_aleatoria_ − NTA! !! Man, I'm really sorry, but he probably doesn't want to help taking care of this child

and now he is giving excuses. .. I don't know why he would say those things, but I know that you are right to not to sell the flat

What do you think? Was OP right to stand her ground, or is she being unreasonable? Share your thoughts below!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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