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Woman Changes Her Nose For Love, Then Can’t Stand To Be Seen On Her Wedding Day

by Layla Bui
January 2, 2026
in Social Issues

Few things affect a person’s sense of identity as deeply as their appearance, especially when it has been the subject of criticism for years. Even casual remarks can linger, shaping how someone sees themselves long after the words are spoken.

In this case, a bride to be thought she was taking control of an insecurity before walking down the aisle. The change was meant to bring relief, but instead left her feeling unfamiliar with her own face. As the wedding draws closer, the emotional weight of that decision has started to affect her daily life and her relationship.

When she shared her feelings about being photographed, the reaction she received was not what she expected. Now she is asking the internet whether she is being unreasonable or simply trying to protect herself at a vulnerable moment.

A bride-to-be regrets her nose job and asks to avoid wedding photos

Woman Changes Her Nose For Love, Then Can’t Stand To Be Seen On Her Wedding Day
not the actual photo

'AITA for saying I don't want to be in pictures at my wedding (as the bride)?'

My fiance's family never held back on jabs about my nose.

My fiance said he knew they really loved me the moment they started with the jokes, they're the kind of family that loves to make fun of each other.

My grandparents used to make comments about my nose that were kind of shitty,

especially because my dad is Jewish (although I've never known him), and I got the nose from him.

In general I've tried to not be sensitive about it because they don't like sensitive people, although my history with it and knowing my nose came

from my dad who I don't know made it a bit harder for me.

My fiance made this comment once which was supposed to be joking/sweet where he basically said he was so lucky for my nose

because it was the only way he had a chance with me.

That comment stayed in my head since, the idea that I'd actually be beautiful if it wasn't for my nose.

I've had really bad self-esteem and would go in and out of believing I'm ugly. I started thinking about having a nose job.

After we got engaged, I realized if I was going to do it, I should do it before the wedding.

He was really supportive of the idea and excited for it.

He made some comments about being glad I was losing "the beak," something he'd never expressed before I suggested it, which confirmed to me that I needed it.

My fince loves my new nose. I hate it so much .

I feel like I'm staring at someone else's face, I look like any other woman in the world besides myself.

I've always struggled with depression, and I was finally in a good place before this. Now I can barely get myself to leave my room for work.

My fiancé is really frustrated with me, he thinks I "objectively" look better and I need to get used to it.

I know I'll have to but I've been wearing a medical mask in the house because I can't stand to look at my face.

He says this is me sulking like a toddler, but I can't control how I feel.

He asked what I was going to do for our wedding and I told him that I don't want to be in any pictures.

He freaked out saying my selfishness was going to get in the way of us having a happy wedding.

I didn't want to let this hurt him, so I tried to come up with options like wearing my veil covering my face in the pictures, incorporating a scarf into...

wearing my mask, etc., and he said if I do any of that we might as well not get married at all.

That hurt a lot. I can't stand to see myself in pictures like this and having everybody see my nose the whole day would make this even worse for me.

I'm already going to be blaming myself for the fact that I won't have MY nose in pictures.

I feel like I'm ruining the day for him but what he wants will ruin it for me. AITA?

Edit: I thought I would add a comment I wrote to the post since I've seen a lot of people are very worried about me.

Thank you to everyone who's written comments trying to help me.

Sorry I haven't responded to a lot of specific people, it's a little bit overwhelming, but I'm reading everyone's comments.

Thank you so much to everyone who's given a judgement and advice everyone has been so kind to me at my lowest right now. I really need to get back...

I'm trying to look into getting another nose job to reverse this but I don't know if any plastic surgeon would be willing/able to give me

"the beak" back, and I'm terrified of getting surgery again. I just want to feel comfortable in my skin again.

I just want to feel comfortable in my skin again.

As much as I know logically I should be able to get used to this over time, I really don't feel I can.

Everybody is suggesting we should postpone the wedding, and I think that makes a lot of sense. I don't know how my fiance is going to feel about that.

I love him but a lot of these comments are making me think more deeply into how he treats me. He's this very sweet guy normally.

Introverted, very smart, always there when I need him, etc...but he's not being that guy right now.

Feeling at home in one’s own body is something many people take for granted until it quietly slips away. When appearance becomes a source of distress rather than familiarity, everyday moments can turn heavy, and milestones that are meant to celebrate love can instead amplify vulnerability.

In this situation, the OP was not simply debating wedding photos. She was grappling with a loss of identity shaped by years of teasing, subtle criticism, and learned self-doubt.

The nose she grew up with carried emotional meaning tied to family, heritage, and self-recognition. Choosing surgery was not about vanity but about hoping to finally feel accepted.

When the result left her feeling like a stranger in her own face, the emotional impact cut far deeper than disappointment. Her fiancé’s frustration reveals a painful mismatch in priorities. While he focuses on appearances and social expectations, she is struggling to feel safe inside herself again.

Many readers frame this story as a conflict between insecurity and practicality, but there is another layer worth considering. The OP’s reaction is not resistance to change but grief.

She is mourning a version of herself that no longer exists, one that carried personal meaning even through criticism. Meanwhile, her fiancé’s response reflects a more external perspective.

He evaluates the outcome through social norms and objective standards, rather than emotional continuity. This difference often shows up in how people process physical change.

Some prioritize function and approval, while others need time to integrate change into their sense of self. Neither is inherently wrong, but conflict arises when one perspective is treated as more valid.

Psychology Today explains that body image distress often intensifies when individuals feel a loss of control over how they are perceived and how they perceive themselves.

According to their overview on body image, dissatisfaction is not always about disliking a specific feature but about a disruption in identity and self-trust. When appearance changes rapidly, especially under social pressure, it can trigger anxiety, depressive symptoms, and avoidance behaviors such as hiding or refusing to be photographed.

This insight sheds light on why the OP’s request is not selfishness but self-protection. Wedding photos are permanent records of a moment she already feels disconnected from.

Forcing herself into that exposure before she has emotionally adjusted may deepen the distress rather than help her “get used to it.” Her fiancé’s insistence on normalcy overlooks the psychological adjustment required after both surgery and prolonged emotional invalidation.

A more realistic path forward may involve slowing down rather than pushing through. Postponing the wedding, returning to therapy, and allowing space for emotional healing are not signs of failure.

They are acts of care. Before celebrating a shared future, both partners may need to ask whether they are truly seeing and honoring the person standing beside them, not just the image others expect to see.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

These Redditors called out the fiancé’s behavior as abusive, cruel, and deeply alarming

Glittering-Eagle-654 − Honey, no. As a woman with Jewish heritage myself, there was nothing wrong with your nose.

However, there is something wrong with the man who is supposed to be the love of your life insulting and allowing his family to insult the literal face you were...

You don't need to know your father to realize that people who make fun of certain ethnic features are r__ist.

His insults are borderline anti-Semitic. And no, I'm not exaggerating.

Would you be okay with him insulting the features of any of your friends from different ethnic & racial backgrounds? Of course not.

You're too close to the situation to see this is grossly abusive.

The fact that he says your nose "was the only way he had a chance" with you is revolting.

Especially since you mention being bullied for your nose before. He's such an insecure slime-ball.

He exploited your nose to make you feel like you could only snag someone like him.

Then, once he "had" you, he exploited your insecurity further into making you change it.

Now he's invalidating your feelings on having a literal piece of yourself forever altered. Please listen to me, OP.

You need to break off this engagement & find yourself a good therapist that deals with emotionally abusive relationships, specifically coercion.

He has already battered you down, and it will only escalate from here if you sign those papers. Gain weight with the baby?

He'll be relentless about your waist until it's slimmer than before. Laugh lines that come about with aging?

He'll insist on Botox. It'll never get better & you'll never be perfect enough. It is the sickest "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" storyline ever.

Please LEAVE. Edit: Oh my goodness! Thank you for all of the awards, guys!

TatterdemalionElect − NTA at all, but your fiance is. His comment about "the beak" was stone cold cruel.

His remark about your nose being the only way he'd have a chance with you is telling.

He is superficial and shallow and inconsiderate, and I really hope you realize you deserve much better before the wedding rolls around.

alizarincrimson − NTA but holy s__t reconsider marrying this f__ker. He and his family bully you about your appearance until you get SURGERY?

That’s horrifying. I’m sure your nose was gorgeous. Hooked and aquiline and prominent noses are so lovely to look at.

You should never have been made ashamed of having it.

josephthad − Everyone is pointing out the obvious horribleness of your husband here but just want to also add that "They don't like sensitive people"

is a huge red flag that those people are pretty awful people and are too immature to even consider they might be the wrong ones.

This group urged OP to leave or end the engagement before more emotional damage

Glitter_Voldemort − OP, this is way above Reddit’s pay grade. You’re engaged to be married to a man who, along with his family

has needlessly bullied you about your appearance to the point that you had plastic surgery to try to "fix" yourself.

Not only do you regret the surgery now, but it - along with the bullying you’ve experienced - has destroyed your mental health.

Do you truly want to spend the rest of your life like this? Do you really want to marry a man who giddily told you he was happy you were...

getting rid of your beak” then admonished you for having regrets?

Please take all of this into consideration and try to remember that your s__tty fiancé and his equally as s__tty family don’t get to determine your self worth. Only you...

For all intents of this being a judgment sub, NTA, but you haven’t been very kind to yourself either and you will be TA

if you don’t remember who the hell you are and put a stop to your fiancé and his family’s BS. Edit: A word

VoyagerVII − NTA but you're in deep trouble. You've already had surgical alteration you hate, to please a man who treats you badly.

Making n__ty comments about 'the beak' and pressuring you into getting medically unnecessary surgery is definitely treating you badly.

The nose isn't your big problem -- you need to grow a spine.

Start by breaking up with the guy who didn't like your face the way it was and told you so in cruel terms.

Then get a therapist to help you adjust to the face you have now, because I don't think it's possible to adjust back.

Maybe closer, and that's something to think about if you really make no progress in getting used to this.

but I suspect it will never be just the way it was.

You will need to do your grieving for that, and learn how to accept it in time, and you're going to need a good therapist to help you through that...

I'm so sorry that you lost the nose you felt comfortable with.

But if you stay with this guy you're likely to lose a lot more.

kr0mb0pulos_michael − you altered your face to appease your new husband. This marriage is doomed to fail.

NTA, but get an annulment (if you've already had the wedding)

claireclairey − “We might as well not get married at all. ” Truer words were never spoken. OP look what your fiancé has done to you.

You were ‘finally in a good place before this,’ and now you walk around your own house wearing a mask.

Your fiancé told you to get rid of the “beak,” but YOU are the one who has to live in your own skin, not him.

Think about what this relationship is doing to you psychologically and emotionally.

And then think about why you want to settle for that the rest of your life. NTA but please be better to yourself going forward.

These commenters stressed urgent therapy and postponing marriage due to mental health

Tryingagain80 - This is not for reddit. Please talk to a mental health professional,

You should not be considering marriage if you feel this badly about yourself.

murphy2345678 − NTA You need to get professional mental help before this goes any further. You should postpone the wedding.

[Reddit User] - YNT - You Need Therapy. Why are you still planning to marry someone when you clearly feel

they pressured you into a cosmetic procedure you didn’t actually want?

At the very least, don’t you think maybe it would be nice to be able to not have to devote this much time and energy and self-loathing to worrying about

what kind of hangups other people decide to project on to your nose?

Aylauria − You are having a mental health crisis and your fiancé, instead of being supportive, is being dismissive.

Please, please call your primary care doctor today and get a referral to a therapist as soon as possible.

It is not normal or emotionally healthy to feel like you do. You need professional help right away.

And if your fiancé doesn't realize that then he is not only not helping, he's part of the problem.

Please consider postponing your wedding until you find out if he is as big a jerk as he's acting.

These users bluntly told OP this was a rare chance to escape a harmful relationship

Beautiful-Act6485 − Why are you marrying him? This is your get out of jail free card! !! Run

KingPiscesFish − Why are you even marrying him? No loved one would EVER do this- this is a massive red flag and just all sorts of yikes.

This isn’t something you should be turning to Reddit for.

Please seek professional help and seriously reconsider whether you should marry this man.

If he was able to get you to change your appearance for him, who knows what he’s willing to do if you marry him.

NTA for this post, but please seek professional help!

The OP reflected on the advice, acknowledged the pain, and considered therapy and delay

ThrowRA_nopicspls − Sorry I haven't responded to a lot of specific people, it's a little bit overwhelming, but I'm reading everyone's comments.

Thank you so much to everyone who's given a judgement and advice veryone has been so kind to me at my lowest right now.

I really need to get back into therapy.

I'm trying to look into getting another nose job to reverse this but I don't know if any plastic surgeon would be willing/able to give me

"the beak" back, and I'm terrified of getting surgery again. I just want to feel comfortable in my skin again.

As much as I know logically I should be able to get used to this over time, I really don't feel I can.

Everybody is suggesting we should postpone the wedding, and I think that makes a lot of sense.

I don't know how my fiancé is going to feel about that.

I love him but a lot of these comments are making me think more deeply into how he treats me.

He's this very sweet guy normally. Introverted, very smart, always there when I need him, etc. ..but he's not being that guy right now.

Instead, a Redditor shared that cosmetic surgery meant to boost confidence before her wedding unraveled something much deeper. Long-standing family teasing, complicated feelings about identity, and a fiancé who seemed supportive until he wasn’t collided just months before the big day.

Now, with the ceremony approaching, the bride has made one request that shocked her partner and ignited a fierce online debate.

Want the emotional details behind why she doesn’t want to be seen at her own wedding? Dive into the original story below.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS STORY?

OP Is Not The AH (NTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
OP Is Definitely The AH (YTA) 0/0 votes | 0%
No One Is The AH Here (NAH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Everybody Sucks Here (ESH) 0/0 votes | 0%
Need More INFO (INFO) 0/0 votes | 0%

Layla Bui

Layla Bui

Hi, I’m Layla Bui. I’m a lifestyle and culture writer for Daily Highlight. Living in Los Angeles gives me endless energy and stories to share. I believe words have the power to question the world around us. Through my writing, I explore themes of wellness, belonging, and social pressure, the quiet struggles that shape so many of our lives.

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